Fear, you are the one thing I never should have been afraid of.

Fear, you are the one thing I never should have been afraid of.

I should have been terrified of the walls I built to keep folk away from hurting my heart.

By doing so, fear, I hurt my own heart.

I should have been petrified, fear, of squashing my voice, to keep my voice from getting me hurt from voicing my hurt.

By doing so, fear, I hurt my own heart.

I should have been deathly afraid, fear, of keeping my heart away from those who could love her. From those who could love ME.

By doing so, fear, I hurt my own heart.

Because I was afraid, fear. Not so much of you. But, of all the things and ways I allowed you to convince me, that I would never be.

Turns out, fear, that I was much more of a threat than you or life could ever be.

I am no longer, afraid.

Of, you.

Of, me.

Of, life.

Of, what may happen.

Of, what could happen.

Of, what will happen.

Uncertainty, come.

Do, your best.

Never, again.

Will I:

Hide.

Fear.

Run.

Walk, away from.

Life.

Love.

Me.

Ah, fear, you are the one thing I never should have been afraid of.

Never, again.

standing here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

A true sister…

A true sister, will tell you your eyes are beautiful when she knows you feel ugly, deep inside.

A true sister, will tell you to come outside an stop being afraid, when she knows you are a tiny bit terrified, deep inside.

A true sister, will teach you to be 100 always, when she knows you hide your deepest wounds, deep inside.

A true sister, will teach you how to shed healing tears, when she knows you hold those tears, deep inside.

A true sister, will remain silent in order to help you find your voice and your words, when she knows you need to speak and show your true heart locked, deep inside.

A true sister, will extend grace, when she knows you have not received much grace, deep inside.

Thank you, my sister.

Thank you, my sisters.

You know who you are.

I love you.

Thank you for helping me find me.

Jaybird aka Sweetpea aka Aqua Shirt aka Cassandra.

Only she who has been my sister will know what this means(Hint: Sister does not necessarily have to be female. Thank you, my brother. You know who you are as well).

Grilled cheese and jello: Don’t be afraid to be…weird.

I love grilled cheese.

I love jello.

God: Have both, My Beloved Daughter.

Me: Sounds like a weird combination, though, Dad.

God: So, what. You are weird. I made you that way. I enjoy your weird.

Me: I enjoy being weird too. I enjoy BEING weird. I enjoy being ME, Dad. Finally.

God: Why, My Precious One?

Me: Because I am precious I Your Sight. Weird and all.

God: I especially enjoy your weird.

*Cassandra climbs onto The Father’s Lap and enjoys a grilled cheese sandwich and jello with Her Abba Father*

being weird,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Enjoy those parts of you the most that you think you love the least. Those are the things that makes you priceless. Lift up your head and look into His Eyes. Beloveds, God and Life do NOT judge you because of your flaws, your scars, your mis steps, your mistakes, your remakes, your retakes.

ALL you have gone through and been. Whether by your hand or others, have helped bring you to this moment.

Keep, moving forward.

Keep, looking up.

Keep, growing.

Keep, going.

Keep, living.

Keep, loving.

Don’t be afraid.

Don’t be afraid to be.

Don’t be afraid to be…weird.

being,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

My heart opens.

My heart, opens.

To, whom?

To, what?

I know not.

My hope, awakens.

By, whom?

By, what?

I know not.

My joy, releases.

For, whom?

For, what?

I know not.

My burden, lifted.

Because of, whom?

Because of, what?

I know not.

My love, flowers.

With, whom?

With, what?

I know not.

Yet…

Yet, I:

Open.

Hope.

Joy.

Unburden.

Flower.

I know not, yet.

I know, not yet.

Yet, my heart opens.

open-hearted,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Fear not: Don’t be afraid.

Fear, not.

Don’t be afraid.

To, be.

To, be loved.

To, be considered.

To, be cherished.

By, God.

By, Life.

By, others.

Fear?

Not!

Not, me!

Ha!

Aha!

Let not fear have ANY say, in any decision, in any circumstances.

Yes, tell fear to go on ahead and take two seats.

Live.

Love.

Say.

living without fear,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

For those who have suffered loss…

For those who have suffered loss, I pray.

For those who have suffered injury, I pray.

For those who have suffered injustice, I pray.

For those who have, I pray.

For those suffering, I pray.

Be encouraged.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Love: Out in the open.

Love, ah Love, I pursue You.

Out in the open, where all can see.

My heart, longing for You.

Ah, love, I give you.

Out in the open, where all can see.

No longer afraid.

Of, not being loved.

In return.

In return, I give You, I give life, I give the world, all of me.

How foolish, the world rejoins.

This matters not, to me.

No longer do I hide my heart from all.

In, shame.

In, fear.

In, anger.

Now, I love.

In the open.

Where all can see.

Even me.

Especially, me.

Ah.

Aha!

Isn’t this the point?!

in the open for the wide world to see,

Jaybird aka Cassandra

Such as have, I give to thee: I find myself full, again.

I find myself full, again.

After emptying my heart of all the love it contained.

I looked deep inside and she that she is full, again.

Full, of love.

Waiting, to be given away.

Again.

Again.

Again.

So, again, I empty this old heart of mine:

Of, love.

Of, joy.

Of, faith.

Of, hope.

Of, perseverance.

Of, tenacity.

Of, light.

Such as I have, world, I give, to thee.

Such as I have, God, I give, to Thee.

Such as I have, Life, I give, to Thee.

Such as I have, Bestie, I give, to Thee.

Such as I have, fam, I give, to thee.

Such as I have, wombie, I give, to thee.

Such as I have, work fam, I give, to thee.

Such as I have, life, I give, to thee.

Such as I have, day, I give, to thee.

Such as I have, try, I give, to thee.

Such, as I have.

I, give.

To, thee.

Ah.

Aha!

I find myself full.

Again.

And, again.

And, again.

full again,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Jesus: All The Boo that I need.

Yes, Jesus, You are:

All.

Enough.

More.

Mine.

Thanks for giving Your All.

To, me.

For, me.

I love me some You.

All, that I have.

All, that I am.

Freely, I give to You.

You are:

My, Bestie.

My, Boo.

My, Friend.

You are and ever shall be with and for me.

I got You, Boo.

You have me, too.

Thank You, for walking these miles and days with me.

Easter is coming.

Ah.

Aha!

Isn’t that the whole point?…

loving me some You,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Some days, you just have to let your love, your loves, Your Love, hear how much they mean. Out loud. For the whole world to hear. Why? Cuz it gives them warm fuzzies. And, it gives your heart warm fuzzies. I love you, beloveds. We all of us are all we got. But, we all we need, eh?

Open your heart.

Open your arms.

Open your eyes.

Yes, in the past you were hurt by those who were hurting themselves. Or, you were purposely hurt by those wishing to inflict hurt.

Yet, it’s time, beloveds. For you to forgive you. And, for you to forgive them. Come from behind your walls and let the light come in. Let THE Light come in. Let love come in. Let Love come in. We wait for you…

It was never about that.

It was never about that.

It was never about the money.

It was never about the degree.

It was never about the area code.

It was never about the network.

It was never about the position.

It was never about the job.

It was never about the mate.

It was never about being single.

It was never about the race.

It was never about race.

It was never about gender.

It was never about religion.

It was never about…

What was/is/has it been about, you ask?

Ah.

Aha!

You have asked.

He SHALL answer.

Listen.

Listen!

LISTEN!

Listen as though your very life depends and depended on the answer. It does…

straining to hear,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe