Month: May 2022

Be kind.

Be kind.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

You matter!

you matter quotes Great You Matter s and for

You matter!

YOU matter.

You MATTER!

I want to shout it, everywhere.

Maybe, if more folks knew, I mean truly knew, that their lives mattered, if they would do less foolishness, care more, give more, give two damns, give more love, some love, any love away, more.

I wonder.

I keep trying, in any event, in hopes that someone, somewhere, somehow, some way, some day, will receive these words, pass them on, shine their lives and help eradicate this present darkness.

My life, matters.

As does yours, beloved(s).

Tell, yourself this.

Tell, someone else this.

I keep hearing more and more folks sounding hopeless, helpless even. They are lamenting all the tough things going on. Lamenting and saying ‘I don’t want to give up but’….

No buts!

No way.

No how!

We, fight on.

We, love on.

We, keep on, keeping on.

Always.

ALWAYS!!!

Tell the dark, ha!, shine your light, such as you have, and keep it moving.

Say.

Live.

Love.

You matter!

mattering with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Real talk: Let NOTHING steal your song.

It has been hard, lately, to sing. Yet, sing I do, still.

It has been hard, lately, to encourage folks finding no encouragement not many encouraging places, for me. Yet, encourage, I do, still.

It has been hard, lately, to keep tears of despair away as so many discouraging, dismaying, disheartening things have happened. Yet, I cry, though not in despair, still.

Still, I move on.

Still, I sing.

Still, I encourage.

Still, I love.

Still, I hope.

Still, I rejoice.

Still, I live.

Still, I say.

Still, I fight.

Still, I laugh.

Yes, through tears.

Yes, through sadness.

Yes, through this madness.

Yes, through rage.

Yes, through sorrow.

Yes, through heartache.

Yes, through hardship.

I sing, loudly, badly, through these lips of color, reaching out, to another and others. Loving folks, praying for folks, encouraging folks, having hope for folks.

Still.

Always.

Nevertheless.

However.

NOTHING shall stop me from doing all that I know, giving all that I have, singing as loudly as my lungs will allow them to go.

Why?

I have no choice.

You have no choice.

My song, your song, our song, is much, much too important to be allowed to be silenced.

Lift up, your voice.

Lift up, your heart.

Lift up, your light.

Lift up, your fight.

Lift up, your song.

Lift up, your head.

Lift up, beloveds, lift up.

We shall NOT be greatly moved.

This present darkness, will never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, silence my song.

Let NOTHING, steal your song.

singing STILL and especially for those whose voices shall never be heard again,

Cassandra aka Jaybird aka Sweetpea aka here STILL!

Ha!

#YourLifeMattersToMe

At a loss…

I have been searching for words, any words, that would give meaning to the 10 lives snuffed out in Buffalo, NY for no reason other than living while black.

While processing that horror, one much worse has transpired.

What could POSSIBLY be worse than 10 innocents, matriarchs, gunned down for no reason?

How about 19 ten year olds, and two of their teachers, in an elementary school, two days before summer break, watching the movie ‘Moana’, not knowing another 18 year old would barricade himself in their room and take their lives. 21 innocents. 21, brown bodies, snuffed out while law enforcement literally remained outside the classroom door, refusing to enter, until those lives were gone.

An hour. An HOUR, law enforcement waited, you tell me for what, to enter and protect these precious, these priceless brown bodies.

Now, the finger pointing has ensued. I don’t know which discourse/debates/conversations, among law enforcement, the media, the legislature, twitterverse, social media bothers/sickens me the most. I shall list a few and you stop me at the one that rips your heart out:

  1. A raging debate is going on that if the children had not been brown skinned law enforcement would have valued the kids lives enough to risk their own. Apparently, the fact these children, children dammit, and adults, were non white law enforcement decided to wait for, hell I don’t know they are arguing, three days later about why they waited a damned hour while babies frantically called 911 to come and save them!!
  2. Legislators don’t have to do anything as it will never reach their homes/lives as laws were made to protect white folks, protect white folks things, police non white folks and corporate America funds white folks so white legislators are ‘apathetic’ about the brown bodies slain in a school. I remember a time ALL children were priceless and worth protecting.
  3. If the children had been white law enforcement would have rushed in, immediately and saved as many lives as they could. They would have been hailed heroes saving as many white tiny lives as they could. I have wondered, lately, how many lives, of folks who look like me, will be enough to get folks to give two damns. Apparently, 29 no where near enough. Sadly, children are also considered not worthy of the last few measure.
  4. Folks right to carry assault weapons of mass destruction are more important than the lives of innocent babies. When asked was the death of 19 innocent ten year old was enough to get a gun owner, who displayed dozens of guns proudly, on her porch, while her white children proudly stood among them, to get her to change her mind about the need for reform to protect innocent follks, the mom said ‘no’.

I could go on and on but won’t. Just too heart sick. An 18 year old, second within a week of each other, was able to purchase an AR-15 and blow folk away. Not old enough to legally drink in most states, yet can….

Am at a loss….

What do I say to young folks, who look like me? What do I say to young folks, who look like you? Most folks don’t see our tears. Or rather, give two damns about them. They would care about your tears, though. Why? Because they would stream down your porcelan cheeks. Apparently, tears falling, on colored skin, is not as valuable, or valued.

The funerals have started, today. Two, so far. 10 year old, babies, being laid to rest. They should be in summer camp. Yet, their families are burying them. Because they were persons of color, living their lives, in their precious brown skins.

I have writen, many times, our flag, is supposed to cover us all. Not, a select race, a select few. Red, white and blue. The colors of the flag. The streets are running red, with blood, from those who look like me, because some folk who look like you, have decided our lives are no longer worthy of air.

Who am I speaking these words to? I have no idea, anymore. I guess, I want to put a face, a person, upon this black/brown face of mine. Maybe, just maybe, someone who doesn’t look like me, may see, may SEE, may see ME, care and decide my life, my black/brown life, matters enough so that someone who doesn’t look like me, will tell many, many others, who don’t look like me.

What will that do? I have no idea. I find it hard pressed to belive, anymore, that enough of folks who look like you, will ever rise up and finally protect those who look like me. Yes, this goes on, in Ameirica. Yet, many of these current beliefs, are being stoked by conspiracy theories and rhetoric garnered from other countries, and gleefully consumed, here.

I told my twin I would not write, again, until I knew what to say. If that were the case, I would never write again.

Beloveds, I write, again, tears streaming, yet again, in disbelief of present happenings.

Yet, beloveds, I also know this:

Love WILL win, in the end. It will.

Light WILL, eradicate the dark, in the end. It will.

Til then, beloveds, what can/will we do?

As for me and my house, I shall continue to say these words…

YOUR LIFE MATTERS TO ME.

praying for us all,

Cassandra

Note: We all need each other. None of us will get out of this life on our own….

You will dance again, beloved.

I have been dancing, all day.

Chair dancing.

Dancing about the apartment like a lumbering buffalo. No matter. Dance I continued to do.

I danced my way to the door to grab my delivery order. Even though, my heart is still a bit fearful of treading outside, I danced inside, KNOWING, the fear SHALL recede and I will get on with my life, with joy, STILL, KNOWING I am safe where ever God and Life are and that is EVERYWHERE.

KNOWING this, I have danced, through tears, thinking of those who will no longer dance, again.

Today, and always, I dance for those who can’t yet find their dance.

Despair not, beloveds. If you find yourself too tired, too discouraged, too sick, too this or too that to even what to think about dancing, let alone having the energy to lift your head, your heart, your arms.

Rest, now. You WILL dance again, beloved.

It’s okay. Yea, the darkness can appear to be a terrifying thing. The unknown can seem so scary. Yet, once you truly understand that the way WILL and SHALL be made for you, you can rest and dance.

Be encouraged, sweet ones. Be, at peace. Be, still and know your life matters. All shall and will be okay. It will.

You will dance again, soon.

Close your eyes. Relax those precious shoulders and be still.

dancing til your dance returns,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Hold on, always.

Hold on, to your joy, always.

Hold on, to your peace, always.

Hold on, to your dance, always.

Hold on, to your faith, always.

Hold on, to your praise, always.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing shall stop you so long as you hold on, always.

Yea, the darkness comes. Yet, the darkness MUST give way when the light comes. Shine your light, beloveds, on that which has been dark for so long.

Sing, in the darkness, and watch the light come.

Dance, in the darkness, and watch the light come.

Rejoice, in the darkness, and watch the light come.

Pray, in the darkness, and watch the light come.

Stand, in the darknesss, and watch the light come.

Hold on, always.

No matter what.

No matter how.

No matter who.

Hold on, always.

Hold on, to:

Him.

Hope.

Help.

Healing.

However.

Nevertheless.

Regardless.

In spite of.

Because of.

Hold on, always.

Your time, will come.

Your blessings, will come.

Your rest, will come.

Your posse, will come.

Your understanding, will come.

Notwithstanding, beloveds, regardless, despite, go ahead and spite all that may fight, and hold on, always.

Hold on, as best you can, always.

Hold on, til hold won’t hold no more, always.

Always, hold on.

When the last step you can no longer take, take the last step, anyway, and hold on, always.

When shouting into the void has voided the last of your hope and faith, shout into the void, beloved and hold on, always.

When hope gave way to despair and you despair hope shall never return, hope and hold on, always.

When the end of things seems like will never end, yea, even as it feels you are beginning the impossible task of beginning again that thing which will never end, begin again, beloveds and hold on, always.

Hold on.

How long?

Always.

holding on with you and for you,

Cassandra aka Jaybird aka Sweetpea

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Haiku to Him.

You, are with me.

I, am with you.

You, are enough.

I, am satisfied.

Nuff said.

loving me some You,

Me🥰

Stay salty.

I was in a grilling mood. Translation: food and gas are so high it is much cheaper to stay at home and cook…*sigh*.

Feeling super culinary, I decided to make me some super tasty home made burgers. Yea, yea, I had frozen patties I could have used. But, those things too blasted tiny and IMPOSSIBLE to get ANY blasted seasoning to stick to the patties!….*pout*…..*Cassandra stamps around in a mini temper tantrum thinking of those tiny, frozen discs that won’t let ANY BLASTED SEASOINING STICK ON THERE!!*…..hhmm……*Cassandra realizes she has been on a mini rant about something that didn’t even happen*…..oppss…..my bad peeps…..

N-E-waze, I was in a grilling mood. So, grabbed a pound of ground beef, a handful of seasonings and prepared to make THE most tasty burgers in the wide world.

Okay, okay, not so much. They were super huge and beautiful. Juicy. Looked like the fantastic burgers you see on commercials that NEVER end up being so big, juicy or tasty going through the drive thru.

What was the problem, you ask? Thanks for asking. They were just a shade too salty. I meant it. Just a shade off. I think, by about one or two microcrons or salt crystals. Those one, or two, or ten crystals, had my fantastic burgers just a hair too salty. Crap!

I decided to maks the salty and doused them, and myself turns out, liberally with barbeque sauce. I dare not add ketchup as surely that would have made the salty that much more salty.

Sooooooooooooooo, long story shorter…..*sigh*…..my once beautiful burgers now looked like a crime scene at a barbeque factory. Sauce every which away. With great anticipation, I took a hefty bite and….

Fresh hell!

I could taste those ten blasted salt crystals. Still. STILL!!

I grabbed a drink, took a big swill. Grabbed a chip or two or ten and waded back into my now full fledged hamburger war.

And…

Fresh hell!!

Salty, still!

STILL!!

*screams of agony wended themselves towards heaven*

Being hungry, and saving money, I ate my beautiful mess of a salty burger and realized this beautiful mess of a salty burger reminded me of me. Hell, the beautiful mess of a salty burger WAS me!

All my life, I have been told I was too this or too that. Too loud, too young, too old, too poor, too black, too angry, too much woman, too unattractive, too uneducated, too country, too worldly, too citified.

The list was endless. Invariably, niave dumbsky that I was, I would slather myself with this condiement or that one. Desperate, you see, to present myself as ‘tasty’, needed, necessary to the world. Alas, the world, and many folks in it, just found me too ‘salty’ for it/them.

Yet, I must admit, there were some, in the minority, who enjoyed my salty. Case in point, God love her, I was in a super ‘salty’ ie silly mood and decided to pass on the savings, er, teasing, to my twin, my wombie. Yep, I let her have it. Just kept saying THE most preposterous things. First, to make myself laugh. Then, well, it was just fun having been given permission to be as outrageous and ridiculous as I wanted……(((((((((((((hugs self))))))))))))))).

I can NOT tell you how much joy I received, having been received and loved, salty, messiness and all. As I laughed, I thought of others and was sad that there are so many folks, out there, who think they are ‘too much’ so they dim their inner goofness. They hide, there inside fun. They, instead try and present themselves as something folk might want to partake of.

Makes me want to run around, screaming to the hold world to stay salty.

STAY SALTY!!!

Yes, beloveds, what you or some others may think as too salty, why, there are countless more who think your salty is THEIR brand of salty!

Stop hiding who you are. Even, from you. Yes, especially, from you! You were made purposefuly, magnificently, incredibly to be the incredible you that you are. There is NONE like you. Nope. Nada. Nary a one.

Isn’t that wonderful!? Of all the peeps, in all the world, everywhere, there is only ONE you!

Miracle, you.

Incredible, you.

Loved, you.

Cherished, you.

God and Life, beloveds, just need for you to continue to add your salty to this pot of gumbo called life. EVERY spice is needed. Some, are salty. Some, are swee. Some, are savory. Some, are sour. Yet, ALL are needed.

So, stop looking down on who God and Life made you to be. You be made of greatness.

You are:

Awesome.

Amazing.

Able.

Capable.

You are:

Loved.

Cherished.

Blessed.

Needed.

Necessary.

Magnificent.

Fantabulous.

Fantastic.

You can:

Do that which you thought you were ‘too salty’ to do. Know ye not, beloveds, your salty is the salty this world has been in need of this whole time!

Stay, salty.

Say.

Live.

Love.

ALL of you. Not just the pars you think folk will think acceptable. What the heck do they know, N-E-Waze?!

Ha!

YYYYYYYYASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Nothing can get rid of your salty. Don’t you try and get rid of it.

Stay salty.

being salty with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

A special shout out to Britta’s gang and Ashley.

Truly, folks can never really truly know how much their words, their actions, may mean to others. Especially, to folks clear round the world, across the way, next to the pond, down the street, just up the way.

I have to admit I had been….I have no idea what I have been since learning of the 10 lives senselessly taken. What’s more, I have had no idea what to do with myself due to all the other lives, here recently, that have been taken simply because folks have been black, Asian, Taiwanese and so many other ethnicities in this past little while.

Gunned down in church, put to death in a grocery store. Murdered while getting a massage or giving one. Snuffed out, while living as a person of color.

If you are reading this, and are of a persuasion other than a person of color, I thank you. I have no idea how you must feel with folks, who look like you, who are running around senselessly getting rid of folks who look like me. I can’t imagine how that must feel. I wonder, if you are sad/mad or ten million other things I currently feel. I wonder if you ever take a moment, or two, to try and imagine what it may feel like not being about to feel safe anywhere you go, even in your own home, simply because you don’t look like me.

So, you can imagine, these days have been tough. So much so, I put the pen down. I told God what on earth can I possibly say/do that would or will do any good. I almost didn’t post the other day. Something inside, though, just would not stop crying out for me to say something. SOMETHING.

After I wrote, feeling helpless, I pressed post and….

Being honest, I called my twin and told her I just did not know what to do or how to feel and the world would just have to kick rocks and take care of things without me.

Little did I know, Britta and her gang and Ashley would do just that., for me. I had turned out all the lights, turned off the tv, turned off all music and just….just….just….hurt.

I turned off my phone and just….just…just hurt.

I almost left my phone off. Something made me turn it back on. Think it may have been Yikes! or Egads! Checked my email and saw notices from folks I had never heard of.

What the world???!

I admit it. I cried. Like a big old baby. Called my wombie and cried some more. Crying still, if truth be told.

Yet, because of those who cared enough, across the sea, just down the way, reached out and let this person of color know that I was cared for just….just….just no words.

I thank you.

I shall continue to fight and try and say and live and love and do my utmost not to be afraid of folks who don’t look like me.

I share theser things so that maybe someone else will, some others, will. The ONLY way we will make it through this life in one piece is together.

I just wanted to say thank you, to every word, thought, prayer sent up and said for folks who don’t look like you to help folks who look like me.

My heart just has not known what to do, what to feel, where to go. Not, anymore. These days, have me shaken, and stirred. Not sure what to do with me.

I just thank all who cared, who SHOWED care. We need to see it, we need to feel it, we need to KNOW it.

I am just….just…

at a loss still,

Cassandra SHAKEN AND STIRRED

Time to reclaim the darkness.

I will be damned if even ONE life, that has been snuffed out wrongly, unjustly, unbelievingly will have been lost, in vain. No, way. No, how.

I shall do my utmost, to keep on shining my light, best as I can, to reclaim the darkness. The dark shall NEVER, EVER, EVER be able to shut out the light. One light, shall lead to another, then others.

Til, then, beloveds, I hold my light, high, for all, for others, to see. I light the way, to hope, to peace, to joy, to freedom, to healing, to togetherness, to all those things we all need to keep on keep on.

It is time, for us all, to reclaim the darkness, around us. One step, one voice, one outstretched heart, one outstretched hand, at a time.

Yes, it’s time, to speak, to show, to give, to grieve, to love, to care, to share, to show…..TOGETHER.

Shine, your light, best you can, in as many places and ways as you can.

Someone needs to know, it wil be alright, they will be alright. Even, in the dark. Let someone know, that help is on the way.

Time to reclaim the darkness..

holding my light,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe