Month: May 2022

Fear: All you did was remind me of me.

Fear.

Fear?

HA!

And?

Fear, all your dumb self did was remind me of me!

That’s all.

Unfortunately, fear, that mean it’s a wrap for you, in my life.

ALL you did, fear, was help me to unlock the greatness, the goodness, the love, the tenacity, the beaboutitness, the I got it going on like popcorn ness, the awesomeness, the joy, the hopefullness and all the other nesses and messes that I foolishly allowed you, fear, to cover.

So, thanks, dummy, for showing me ALL the blessings that God and Life have in store, just for me.

Whatcha going to do now, fear? Run? Hide? I suggest you get a head start!

Yea, cuz, all you did, fear, was help God and Life to reveal ALL the wonderfulness locked up inside this heart of mine.

Dummy, you, fear. You sooooooooooooooooooo dumb.

Thought you had this sister of color, eh, fear? How dumb can dumb really be?!

Ha!!

Thought you had me on my knees, fear? Yea, I was on my knees praying, you dummy. Whilst, fear, you truly should have been running. Away. From. Me!

I got something for you, fear. Come closer, if you dare.

Think you only see a teeny little kitty? Go ahead. Walk up on her. Reach out, for her. See, if you lose a limb or two, in your reaching.

Yea, fear, ALL you did was remind me of me.

Fear.

Fear?

Fear ain’t nothing but a four letter word!

So, is love.

So, is hope.

So, is care.

So, is rare.

Which is me. Only ONE me. Why/how should I fear being me, fear? I don’t. Not, anymore. Now, I am coming for you. Going to get you for scaring so many folks. Going to, so long as I have breath, fight you, fear, and teach others to fight you and not fear you. And, even when they fear, to beat your dummy tail whilst afraid.

coming for you,

Me

Cassandra

Note: Fear, ain’t nothing but a word, beloveds. Tell it to go on ahead and kick some rocks and live. Hang in there. Hold on. Hold out. Things really will be okay. And, it’s okay to not be okay until they get to being okay. Okay?

I love me some you. Even the dummies who are not smart enough yet to love me back….*shrug*….lol….

Life is good, even when it gets hard.

I don’t think so!

Give up?

I don’t think so!

Walk away?

I don’t think so!

Fear, the future?

I don’t think so!

Give up, on love?

I don’t think so?

Walk away, from my dreams?

I don’t think so!

Real talk, beloveds, there are times when life, circumstances, situations, folks, dopes, bad things, sad things, mad things, will make you want to up and quit, turn tail and hide, cry uncle or whatever the world will get you out of the present darkness/situation/sickness/sickofthisness.

Yet, at those times, beloved. Yea, especially at those times we MUST, we HAVE to, tell those things to go on ahead and kick some rocks!

We shall NOT, be moved.

We don’t think so!

Ha!

You got this, beloveds.

Yes, it has been hard.

Yes, it has taken forever.

Yes, it feels as though it is taking forever.

Yes, you are tired.

Yes, today looks like the same hell/hard yesterday was.

Yes, the world has laughed in your face.

Yes, your finances have looked at you and said ‘No hope/help here, homie!’.

Yes, your body told you to go ahead and kick rocks, when you tried to jump out of bed with gusto.

Yes, your significant other failed to understand.

Yes, you may have no significant other. In fact, may have no other.

Yes, you did right but wrong went ahead anyway and did you wrong.

Yes, you prayed and nothing seemed to happen.

Yes, you refused to pray and nothing seemed to happen.

Yes, you gave your all and got nothing back.

Yet, ALL those things, beloved, have in fact, been working for your good. They have. EVERY single last one.

EVERY, no, has been leading to your yes. Have to get the No’s outta the way first.

EVERY, stop sign, has been leading you to your destination. Have to have traffic signs to stay out of accidents.

EVERY, lonely night, has been leading you to the friends, family, posse, peers you were meant to have in your lfe.

EVERY, hurtful comment, has been leading you to knowing and experiencing the awesomeness called you. Have to get the hurtful/hateful ones out of your life so you can enjoy your life to the fullest.

EVERY, shout into the void, has been heard.

EVERY, dollar given to help another, has been a blessing and will be sending a blessing right back to you.

EVERY, prayer whispered through tear stained eyes, have been gently received and store away and will water your life with gifts never imagined.

So, to all that has brought you to your knees, thank them! For, they are bringing you that much closer to your miracle/blessing/freedom/health and so many other awesome things.

Go on ahead, beloveds, and tell all that nonsense…

I DON’T THINK SO!

We got this.

God and Life has us all.

Be encouraged.

As, am I.

STILL.

still standing/loving/hoping/laughing/praying/saying/trying/doing,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Shaken, and stirred.

Today, I am shaken.

Shaken:

Awoke.

Today, I am stirred.

Stirred:

To, feel.

To, care.

To, share.

To, do.

To, be.

To, love.

To, value.

To, cherish.

To, live.

To, say.

On the one hand, I tell myself, what will all this doing and loving and caring and being, actually DO?!

That’s the whole ballgame, beloveds.

We have absolutely NO idea what our TRY, what our care, what our love, what our say, will have a say on.

That’s not the point. Life and God just needs our TRY. They just need us to keep doing what we do. They just need us to care.

Even, when it gets hard.

Even, when we don’t understand.

Especially, it seems, when we don’t understand and things are hard.

Why, cuz there are folks out there who are simply too tired to keep on keeping on. They need us to chair dance, for them. They need for us to TRY, for them. They need to see us doing what we do, so it can/may prompt them to try, again.

We, fight on.

We, care.

Why?

Because this tore up from the floor up world needs folks like us who cares.

I shout into the void, on the daily, in hopes of running across one, or two, or ten folk to let them know things really will be okay. That, they are important. That, they are loved. I wonder if the one who took all those lives had someone, in his life, who let him know his life was of value. Maybe, just maybe, that may have made a difference.

Maybe, just maybe, my words, on this day, to whomsoever will, will let someome know their life matters enough. And, in that knowing, maybe they will decide to stick around, to care for others, to care for themselves.

I keep telling God and Life that I just don’t know what to say, right now. I don’t know what, to do. So, I shall keep doing, until do I can do no more.

Be encouraged, beloveds.

as shall I,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Saying the truth out loud: I don’t know how to feel.

Saturday morning, I was in a grocery store. Happily, hummingly, minding my own business. Grabbing a snack here, a treat there. I helped an elderly white woman put her groceries, in her car. We had a delightful time fighting over me taking her bags as mom would have kicked my hind end allowing ANY older person to carry or put away heavy bags.

She, enjoyed me. I, enjoyed her. We wished each other well, and went our own way.

In Buffalo, NY, 10 other persons of color, went to a grocery store, minding their own business, helping others, yet they never made it home.

A gun man, young white man, fueled by hate, in part from a published manfesto, decided to drive 200 miles to snuff out as many lives of folks who look like me, for no reason other than the color of their skin.

The President of the United States gave a speech about…the usual bluster folks tend to use when folks of color get gunned down, for no reason. EVERYONE knows, full well, the nation would be in full blown freak out mode, if the innocent victims were not folks of color.

*sigh*.

I don’t know how to feel, today. I REFUSE to live, in fear. I REFUSE to not love and care for folks who do not look like me. I didn’t give two damns that older lady was white. She was just, to me, a fellow traveler, on this thing called earth. And, for that time, I was the same, to her.

Yet, there are many, right now, who wished more than 10 had been gunned down.

I don’t know how to feel, anymore, about that.

I promised myself I wouldn’t spend my days angry about obvious and subtle things that happen EVERY day.

I tell myself LOVE will win over hate. Hate won, this past Saturday. Hate, seems to be winning.

Folks then wait for folks of color, especially black women, to come riding up on horseback to save the day, at the voting booth, in homes, at work, etc. We are expected to be the ones soothing white folks fears, that we won’t react in anger. All the while, trying to maintain our chicklets(minds), be there for family, friends, coworkers and pray for a world who could give two damns about us.

We are expected to put our dreams, aside. Hell, black women are often not allowed to have dreams. We are expected to champion the dreams of our kids and spouses and significant others and all others. And, mostly, we do so, because we give more than two damns. We know that, well, dammit, if we don’t get off our asses and do the damned things, the damned things just won’t get done.

Fresh hell!

Crap.

I promised I wouldn’t get mad.

I AM, mad.

I AM, sad.

I AM, dismayed.

I AM, discouraged.

I an NOT, however, afraid.

I will continue to happily, hummingly, go to the damned store and buy a damned loaf of damned bread and wonder if my black woman tail will make it back home alive!!!!!

DAMMITT!!!!!!!!!

at a loss,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMeEvenIfMineDon’tMatterABitToFolksWhoDon’tLookLikeMeDammit!!

P.S. I shall let someone else post a pretty damned inspirational picture to uplift and exhort. Dammit, I am NOT target practice because I am living my life while black. Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Can’t I be loud?: These words were meant for YOU.

If you are reading these words, they were meant specifically and especially, for YOU.

Yes, you.

I’m 53 now. Since I was small, I have always had a yearning to encourage and care about folks. Always, have. Always, will.

Life has been extremely hard for so many. I wish there was more that I could do. I pray, every day to be able to be a source of encouragement for some, for many, for one.

I wish I could do more, say more, give more. I don’t have much so ask God and Life to be a big blessing to you and yours.

In the meantime, loud as I can, I send encouragement, love, hope and prayers your way.

In hopes of…

I don’t know your need.

I am asking for your every need to be met. Those seen and not seen. Those spoken and not spoken. Those hoped for and not.

I wish I could multiply fish and loaves…

*sigh*

53 and praying still to be of use,

Cassandra 🤷‍♀️❤

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Day one…

Day one…

Get after it.

getting after it with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Hope all are okay. I have been praying for all, asking for blessing and rest and peace. For those who don’t believe in God and prayers and such I can’t say as I blame you with folk running around hollering about God and causing holy hell every which way. I pray for those dummies as well…smh…don’t mind folk. They just scare with all that seems upside down.

All SHALL and IS well. Take care of your chicklets(your mind/mental wellbeing), and leave the rest to God and Life to work out.

Be encouraged.

Be encouraged.

Am super exhausted from entertaining but long work day. Just wanted to pop in to send a bit of encouragement.

Be encouraged. No matter what the day has brung, you have mastered it and them the best you could.

Rest. Get back after it tomorrow.

Til then, all WILL be well.

Fret not, beloveds, with a world that seems to have lost it’s last mind, these last days and weeks.

Keep, doing you.

Remain steady, joyful and hopeful.

Hold on.

Don’t sweat it.

You got this.

God and Life has us all.

I got you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

It’s not on YOU.

It’s not on YOU.

The fate of others, the fate of outcomes, is not on you, beloveds.

It’s not on me, either.

ALL we can do is TRY, give, love, learn to the best of our abilities.

Then….🤷‍♀️

That’s not our problem, now is it?

We have done our work.

Now, we leave Life, we leave God, we leave circumstances, we leave situations, to have at it and do it’s/their thing(s).

You have done your work, beloveds.

Rest, now.

Get outta the way, now.

It’s not how loud, you are.

It’s not how hard, you fought.

It’s not even in how long, you have persevered.

The work, the loud, the length, was all contained in your quiet TRY. Your TRY, done in secret, will be awarded to you openly, soon.

It’s not on you, though. So stop giving yourself such a hard time, please and thanks.

Start your week KNOWING victory already yours. Enjoy the moments, before victory arrives with all your spoils intact and awaiting your enjoyment.

I am excited for you! Your life is changing before your very eyes. You can feel it. You are afraid of the unknown but also excited for the newness to come.

Enjoy this year. This is YOUR time.

rejoicing with and for you,

Sweetpea

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Things are NOT what they seem.

Things are NOT what they seem, beloveds.

Yea, it’s me. Back, again.

Where have I been, you ask?

🤷‍♀️

Beats the hell out of me…*shrug*

Circumstances, situations, life, Life and who all knows what else have been throwing some serious haymakers of late.

🤷‍♀️

Nevertheless.

However.

I, stand.

I, live.

I, love.

I, laugh.

I, cry.

I, rejoice.

I, fume.

I, struggle.

I, learn.

IN THE MOMENT.

Alas, I have still prayed for, thought about, chair danced for each of you, beloveds. Yet, I care enough to allow you to do your own work, as I have learned to do my own.

No more do I demand Life, God, folks, circumstances, etc to do my work for me. I tote my own water, make my own chili, take out my own trash, and all the other mundane things one must do whilst waiting on greatness.

Things are changing at work, again. In trying ways, again. 🤷‍♀️. The trying changes will just give me extra opportunities to try harder, to laugh more, to learn as much as possible. I am just thankful for a heads up, this time.

Hope all are doing well. Am getting over a dastardly mean cold. Me and fever had a royal row for a few days. Think he has finally said uncle to all this cold medicine and packing his bags.

Am looking forward to looking forward to these next days.

How about you?

I have wondered how all have fared these past days. It’s neat to wonder how folks are doing around the world. Makes me feel like a true global citizen.

Be well, all. Be encouraged, as well.

thinking of peeps today,

Jaybird

#YourLifeMattersToMe