I love, love, absolutely love extra crispy fried chicken!….*hugs self*.
This may be due, in part, to wonderful images watching mom, frying up golden brown chicken, whilst humming badly. Egads mom, you sure hummed terribly. Seems like, I have picked up that trait, as well, mom….*shrug*.
N-E-Waze, I love, love, absolutely love extra crispy fried chicken. I love the smell. Growing older, though, I have tried to stay away from frying my food so have taken to my George Foreman Grill and now my FANTASTIC air fryer!!
I used to be afraid to fry chicken or make chili or anything that had to do with seasonings or extra things to prepare. I was always afraid of making things too salty, not salty enough. Too this, or too that. So, I didn’t cook. Mom taught us all to cook and I am actually a good cook, if I do say so myself.
Yet, over the years, I found myself being afraid to do this, to try that. I, sadly, blamed my age. I, like a dumbsky, blamed being a loud, black woman.
Yes, unfortunately, beloveds, I found myself listening to the nonsense the world, folks, circumstances, situations, the enemy, and, like a moron, myself put out, on the daily.
“You cant, do this”.
‘You’ll never, have that”.
“What makes you think, you of all people, can succeed at THAT!?”
“You don’t have the money, to do that, go there!”
“You have not done enough, for the world to pay a bit of attention to YOU, of all people!”
“Who in the world wound/will EVER love a loud, unattractive, big one, like you?!”
“What dummy or dummies would/will EVER waste time reading THAT??!!”
“Why the world do you care so damned much for a world who could give two damns about you?”
I could go on, and on. Like a blockhead, I DID go on and on, for quite a long wile, believing nonsense about myself, about my worth, about my potential, about my place and space, in this world.
Happily, wonderfully, awesomely, I found My Bestie, My Homie, My Homeslice, My Forever Friend, My You Got It Going On Like Popcorn Friend, who has been My Savior, My Comforter, My Everything for 30 plus years.
And, just as fantastically, fabulously, gloriously, God and Life relentlessly pursued me, loved me and helped me to love me, some me…..*hugs self*.
Having gained confidence, from trying things I thought I could not, well, I started trying different things.
Which brings me all the way back around to fried chicken. I love, love, absolutely love me some crispy fried chicken.
Determinedly, I have been experimenting with how to get it super crispy, in my air fryer.
Each time I have tried, I have not quite gotten things right.
At times, the chicken is seasoned, perfectly, yet I let the chicken cook, too long. Crimeny.
At times, I forgot to let the chicken sit and firm up a bit, after it had deliciously bathed in an egg bath and skipped, happily, through a plate of flour. Turns out, I had gotten more flour on myself, the countertop, the stove(don’t ask), then I got on the chicken and….fresh hell.
At times, I had JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT of batter, cook time, etc. Yet, dammit, I had forgotten to spray the aluminum foil with non stick spray and the deliciously cooked batter stuck to the blasted foil! Foiled, again!!!…..ack!!!
Tonight, though, ah, tonight, I shall be successful.
I, think.
I, hope.
No, matter.
I AM going to, defeat this batter.
I SHALL leave this batter battlefield, in tatters, with it asking what is the matter, as I succeed in making the bestest, crispiest, golden fried chicken, ever concocted, created and eaten.
to be continued,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life is short. Live some of it, would you please and thanks? Yes, you may fail. So, what. You will have some delicious memories to feed your soul and encourage someone else. Forgive yourself for the things you have not done yet and get to doing them. Get a goin! I go with you…
YOUR choice, to receive all that God and Life have prepared. Just for you.
You, and you, alone, determine whether you will:
Receive, your blessings.
Accept, yourself.
Love, yourself.
Allow others, to love you.
Experience, joy.
Walk in, freedom.
It is NOT, beloveds, up to a person, a place, a thing, a happening, a non happening, to make life all that it is waiting to be, for YOU.
Enough, already.
Enough, blaming yourself for the things you did not do, for the things you did not say, for the things that you said.
It is, ENOUGH!
You did what you could, beloveds, with what you had.
You have loved folks the best way you have known how. The ONLY way, you have known how, up to now.
Yet, you are fighting, STILL, to grow and to be all that you hope to be, wish that you could have been back then, back when life could have been so very different for you.
It is enough, beloveds.
Forgive, yourself.
Forgive, others.
For what, you, could not give yourself, then.
For what, others, cou8ld not give to you, then.
You are learning, now.
Now, is ALL you have, beloveds.
Waste not another moment, another second, lamenting all those things you think have surely been lost, forever.
For, the lost things, if they are lost, were not meant for you to have, now, currently.
It’s time to gather yourself, beloveds, and move FORWARD. No need, in looking backwards. The you that you were, way back then, is not the you that currently sits before you now. How do I know this and how can YOU know this?
Why, the old you would have not read these words, would not have been able to RECEIVE these words.
YOUR choice, beloveds.
What do you choose?
Choose, you.
Choose, love.
Choose, peace.
Choose, laughter.
Choose, joy.
You can have ALL these things, and so many more, even in tough times. ESPECIALLY, through tough times. It is a choice.
In fact, I argued with Saturday, then Sunday, not to allow Monday to show up, at my door.
I was tired, of Monday, you see. Tired that ALL Monday has been bringing me was more of the same…Monday.
I did NOT, beloveds, want to face, let alone fight, another blasted, always the same, never ending, always toiling Monday!
I told Saturday that I did NOT wish to have to keep wishing for Monday to bring anything else besides more Monday!
I complained to Sunday that Monday ALWAYS, dammit, always, always, always brought more of the same stupid Monday I had to fight my way through. To get to Tuesday. Where I would do the same damned fighting to get to the blessed weekend.
Friday!
Yaya!
A full THREE DAYS, in between me and Monday.
It never failed, however, sometime Saturday afternoon, relentless Monday would send me a text letting me know it would see me in a couple of days.
What’s worse, Monday would ALWAYS remind me it may come bearing gifts. On Saturdays, Monday ALWAYS tempted me, hinted to me, that THIS coming Monday may be different, this time. This time, Monday may drop off a dream here, a new love there. Why, Monday might even bring things I had not yet thought of.
Often, I would take the bait. I would spend the rest of Saturday and well into Sunday, dreaming of the Monday to come.
Come Monday, I would fling the door open, wrest my heart wide, to allow all of the goodness, the good things, the life-changing things, the heart-stopping things Monday had been promising.
Only to find Monday had only shown up with, well, more of the same old Monday.
The same, work.
The same, coffee.
The same, family.
The same, unfulfilled dreams.
The same, shouting into the void to release said dreams.
Fresh hell!
So, I did what I could to make it through Monday, sigh through Tuesday, thank heaven for Wednesday, scrape my way through Thursday, excitedly work my way through Fridays, so I could get to the weekend where I could spend two glorious days dreaming of the possibility the coming Monday could/would bring.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Days, turned into weeks.
Weeks, turned into years.
Years, turned into decades.
Brown hair, turned grey.
Bounding/joyful steps, turned into the painful shuffle, to the door, to welcome in the same damned Monday!
Eventually, I stopped daydreaming, stopped expecting Monday to show up bearing gifts.
I told myself that I would just let Monday in and…*shrug*. I had no expectations. I told myself so long as God and Life and those I cared about were present, what did it matter whether Monday came bearing gifts or not?
Alas, the same Monday entered.
The same, work.
The same, coffee.
The same, family.
The same, unfulfilled dreams.
The same, shouting into the void to release said dreams.
I enjoyed, them all.
Just, as they were.
Just, as I was.
Grey-haired.
Heart, still full, of unfulfilled dreams.
Heart, now full, of gratitude, for the same old Monday.
In bringing nothing, Monday helped me realize I already had all I needed to live, to laugh, to love, and to dream.
I had my work, my coffee, my family, my dreams, God and Life, and many other things.
What more, could I ever ask Monday for?
What else, could I need?
I have Monday, which is, always has been, and ever shall be full of moments, awesome moments, my moments to do whatsoever I please. In fact, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday are also packed with moments and memories I can fill them with as many awesome seconds, minutes and hours as I choose.
I don’t need to wait for a:
Knock, on the door.
Check, in the mail.
Text message, from this person or that.
Phone call, bearing great news.
Every day, each one, just the same.
A, miracle.
A, chance to begin, again. And, again. And, yet, again.
An, opportunity to end things, in the right spirit/manner.
Thank you, dear Monday, for arriving the same old, same old way, each time. Insodoing, you have helped me to stop looking for people, places and things to ‘make me happy’. I already have, all I need, to live a joyously free and awesome life.
Ah, Monday! Come right on in, my friend. I am happy to see you!
grateful for Monday,
Cassandra aka Jaybird aka Sweetpea aka loved
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life is what YOU make it, beloveds. Not, what others, can make it. Not, what money, can make it. Not, what a job, can make it. Not, what greener pastures, can make it. Not, what the world thinks you should have, can make it. YOU, alone, decide where your moments will be filled with love, joy, laughter, dancing, singing, rejoicing and all of life’s good things.
You can fill it with fear, anxt over high gas prices and inflaction. You can fill it with dread over what is, what isn’t and what may never be.
YOU get to choose, beloveds, how you will spend your days. None of us knows how long or how many days we have. So long as we have breath, though, we control what we do with the moments life has graciously alloted us.
I am learning, slowly, to embrace ALL the moments. Even, these last frustrating, unknowing, agonizing ones. This just means I am actually, truly, FINALLY, living in EACH AND EVERY MOMENT.
Life is short. Love those around you. If you don’t have any around you, well, gather some up, and love on them. We need each other. We bless each other.
Take care, beloveds. Methinks I am going to spend the rest of my Monday enjoying riding around in God’s Pocket. I am no longer hiding, there. I am ensconsed, in a warm blanket of care, and allowing life to do it’s thing. No matter. I shall be okay. Monday, the same old Monday, shall make it’s way to me soon. Til then, I shall enjoy the days that I have.
I am no longer content/satisfied where I am. It’s driving me up ten walls.
One moment, I was okay with the waiting. I was content with the making due ‘in the meantime’.
The next moment, I was ready to…dammit. If I knew THAT, I wouldn’t be hiding in God’s Pocket, looking for my yipppeees, whilst wondering what in the fresh hell and what the world do I DO with me now!?!
I am being pulled, somewhere.
I am being called, somewhere.
Yet, I have not the foggiest clue somewhere even is.
Tomorrow is Monday, yet again. Yet, another Monday of not knowing, of seeming not growing, of…blast it all, I don’t know!
I just know that I have to get ‘there’, from here. I can no longer stand to be ‘here’ whilst waiting to get ‘there’.
I think God and Life are wonderful, annoying, frustrating, in that They tend to drop clues. Not many. Just enough to keep me going. Just a bit ago, I ran across on of Britta’s pieces called “The season of not yet”, from her blog, Britta’s Blog – Letters from Scotland. I wish I knew how to link blog posts and tag this and do that, creatively. I have not the foggiest clue so I muddle through my blog, best as I can. Blast it.
Her post contained many things I have been thinking about, lately. I think it’s neat that the universe offers up information and insights when we need them the most.
Anywho, I have been fighting with trying to live with and accept that I am, currently, here. And, not, there. There, where I can…*shrug*…I have no idea. Just know that all my life my heart has been pulling me towards…something/somewhere/someday/someway.
My writing, has been pulling me towards something/somehwere/someday/someway.
I don’t know why, these days, being here has become impossible to stay. My heart, with ALL my heart, is ready to be, there, right now, and forever. My heart, wants to do what it was born, to do. What it was meant, to do.
What, am I meant, to do, I ask God and Life?
All, I get, is Their Silence.
And, mine.
Ah, beloveds. I do NOT, dare NOT, begin another Monday.
Here.
Now.
Yet, I must.
Life, is short.
We must be, here, til we can get, there, where ever there is. Somewhere, over there.
In the meantime, I continue to live in the moment, in the meantime. I am starting to not like ‘in the meantime’.
So, now, it seems, I have added looking for ‘there’, whilst looking for my yipppees. Perhaps, my yipppees, are awaiting me….there.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 