Nuff said. 🙂

Cassandra

When my mom needed something moved, back in the day, she called me. One day she had me move the freezer. Man, that thing was heavy! There was no one else to help us. I didn’t want her to strain herself. I thrust out my chest, declared in a booming voice ‘move mom!’.

Huffed and puffed. Puffed and huffed and moved that freezer. You know the kind: the big white ones you could hide ten bodies in and still have room for all the meat.

When I was done, mom was sufficiently awed and nicknamed me ‘Hercules’ and then ‘Herc’ for short. After that, whenever she needed me to move something or wanted to tease me she would yell ‘come here, Hercules!’. Made her laugh. Made me laugh. She made me feel ten feet tall.

There is NOTHING like a mom’s approval. Nothing can replace a mom’s pride. When I played basketball, back in the day, and beat boys and grown men…yea yall Ms. C could ball back in the day!…she would brag that I could beat grown men.

Today….*sigh*….today was a rough day. Received some tough news. Really tough news. You know the kind of news, the kind that takes your breath away and knocks you off your feet. I wanted to cry about it. Had no time to cry. Had work to do. I REALLY wanted to cry about it. I reached for the phone to call mom and tell her what a rough day today was.

I had the phone in hand, was fixing to look up mom’s number. MOM!

Mom….*sigh*….realized I couldn’t pick up the phone and call her. She is no longer here. Mom, you aren’t here…..

Took two seconds to go from feeling like Hercules to a very small thing in such a huge world. I did the ONLY thing that would bring me comfort: I crawled up in Heaven’s lap and told mom all about it.

Miss you, mom. Not feeling like your Hercules, today. I shall try again, tomorrow.

Me

When we were small our dad would take us to the park. I loved the swings. The one with the long chains and floppy seats. Dad would push us. I LOVED his pushes! He was so strong. Would push so high! He would push so high it felt as though I could touch the sky.

Those pushes were exciting. They were terrifying. The best part, though, of dad’s pushes is getting super high then jumping off, at the push’ highest point.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The trick was getting the landing right. You had to be ready for the ground, had to have your weight shifted right, arms stretched out, like airplane wings, to land on BOTH feet with a satisfying thump. Again. Do it again, dad!

The landings, yikes, those landings didn’t always go right. I can remember going so high, doing my airplane landing and then landing in a big heap, ego bruised, knees skinned.

One would think dad would have rushed over, scooped me up and kissed my boo boo. Yet, he didn’t. He roared with laughter and told me ‘get up and do it again!’. Made me so mad. Laughing at me. Was terrified to try again. But, mad enough at the laughter to want to prove that I COULD do it again. Darn it.

Stomped my way back to the swing, huffily flounced on the seat and demanded another push….

Up, up, up we went. Good yikes thought I saw heaven that time. Did a nice bellow and off I went. Flew like a bird, attempted my valiant landing and landed, in a heap, AGAIN!….*pout*…

The more I pouted, the more dad laughed and shouted ‘get up and do it again!’. That challenge made me mad. Made me mad!!!!

I stomped back to the swing, assumed the position and off I went. It took two or three tries but I felt so proud when I landed on my feet!

I will never forget that day. The way dad challenged me. How made his challenge made me. How DETERMINED his challenge made me. How proud I was that I made it.

I remembered that day, that challenge whenever I faced something I could not quite get or over come I would think back on that day, that challenge. I would recall the determination I had, to never give up, and would get on up, try the thing again. Would fail. Pout. And, would get up and ‘try it again’. There were times were I succeeded. Other times I failed, and miserably. Each time, I laughed at myself and reminded myself that I could do it.

I am still heeding dad’s call, to this day. ‘Get up and do it again!’

I share his words with you….. get on up and do it again! Try another relationship. Apply for a new job. Try that thing that has terrified you so. You CAN do it. What’s more, the attempts will show you so very many things about you: will introduce you to the tenacity in you, the grit in you, the joy in you, the conqueror in you, the humbleness in you. In either victory or defeat, you still win. You win either victory or experience. I have found the experience has been much more valuable, over the years, than that thing I had so coveted and never won/gained.

Get up and do it again. You got this.

cheering for you along with Him,

Cassandra

My neck/back had been hurting. For days. Was getting to be quite a nuisance and a pain, forgive the pun. I adjusted my chair. Up. Down. Nothing. Drat it all….*pout*.

I switched back pillows. Nothing. Tossed pillow in a fit of rage…must admit enjoyed the throwing of the pillow ‘cross the room….nothing!!

I ate a few Ibuprofens and a muscle relaxer. Nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG MY NECK HURTS!!!!!!!!!!

Threw a tantrum or two or ten. Whined to God about my pitiful existence cuz of my hurting neck and don’t He give a hoot about my hurting neck??! How can I work with a hurting neck?

God allowed my pouting fest, my pillow tantrum and all my whinings. I imagine I began to be a pain, to HIM, when He tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me of something…….aha!!

I remember that I had changed the height of my monitor. Such a small thing and something I had forgotten. At the time, I needed to change the height due to a project I had been working on. After said project was completed, I went back to working as normal. The thought never crossed my mind to put my monitor back to it’s original needed height. I had gotten ‘comfortable’, you see.

It’s easy to get comfortable, isn’t it? We grow comfortable with our job, a relationship, a situation that is clearly no longer working for us.

Us humans can be dummies in hanging onto old habits/friends/trends etc simply because of comfort. We KNOW that thing, that person, that situation. Yes, it has/had become a pain in the neck a long time ago. Yet, we hang on. Out of stubborness? Sometimes.

Mostly, though, I think we hang on out of comfort, of what we are ‘used to’. Lord knows why we give ourselves permission to stagnate because of ‘used to’. We get used to being ignored/disrespected/talked about/dismissed or all manner of things.

We get used to the same old, same old. Until…..

UNTIL!

Until, God and life, pops us upside the head, causing a neck pain to make us sick and tired of being sick and tired and WE have to make the adjustments.

Speaking of adjustments: it took me all of ten seconds to correct my monitor and my neck pain was alleviated. Almost immediately. I had no idea how such a small thing could cause such a large strain.

When was the last time that you adjusted your ‘monitor’? Perhaps, it may be time for you to look at that situation, that relationship, that job and make a small adjustment. The adjustment may mean the end of the relationship. Or, it may mean adjusting to how you speak to one another, how you view the situation or person.

The moral of the story? It is up to US, you and me, to look at our lives and adjust the things that we can. We can’t forever be whining to God to fix things. Or demand that life change things. Oftentimes we have been given the needed directions or help a long time ago but chose to dismiss or ignore them cuz we got comfortable. Yes, we wanted changes. But, wanted someone or Someone or something to do the work for us.

God is NOT Santa. He is NOT our waiter, waiting to take all of our needs/wants and desires and give them to us immediately and pronto. God is Our Partner. He is Our Friend. He allows us to be a pain in the neck, to have a pain in the neck until we realize we on a partnership level. I do my part. He does His. BUT, HE is ultimately in Charge and gives the final go ahead and say so.

What if you don’t know God or don’t believe there is a God? Good questions. If you don’t know Him, ask Him to ‘holla back at a sista or brother’. Tell Him you have NO idea if Anyone is up there listening.

If you don’t BELIEVE in God? Well, we all believe in something. We rely on those beliefs to see us through. If you are currently believing only in yourself, well, you have the same mandate to make adjustments for yourself. Can’t be waiting on life or others to remove your ‘pain’.

We all need to STOP being a pain in the neck to one another. We have to continue to get some act right and stop whining and complaining about why come this and what about that. Am sure God really wants to tell us to shut up already!

A good friend gave me a nice boot to the rear, the other morning. Told me God was pleased with me for my efforts and this and that. Then submitted said boot to my hind end advising God was NOT pleased that at times I can carry on a bit on dreams that have been long unfulfilled. Said God says it’s okay to be disappointed and carry on a bit. But, God wants us to carry on and whine and throw pillows to HIM. He wants us to bring ALL of our fears and hopes and dreams and chop things up with Him.

The things we can ‘adjust’ He wants us to adjust. The things only HE can adjust, well, He wants us to know He loves us and is working on things. The trick is knowing that every answer will NOT be ‘yes’. We may hear: no, wait, yes, maybe, let me think about this and all manner of responses.

Until we get there, let’s continue to make those tiny adjustments that will lead us towards loving ourselves, first, then others. We got this, people. And, God has us all.

If life is being a pain, if YOU are being a pain, adjust what you can but keep on keeping on. NEVER allow ANY pain to keep you from being joyful, from being hopeful. Keep on loving YOU, no matter your stage in life. You are worth loving just because you are. It’s not what you do or have that makes you special. You special ‘just cuz’.

Remember you are: loved, seen and adored. By God. And me.

loving me and you still,

Cassandra

It sure is a good thing that God loves us no matter what we do. Folks sure have been up to some foolishness, have done and said some really dumb things the last few years.

We all have been tore up from the floor up, yall. We have. You hollering at me. Me mad at you for hollering at you. Me deciding to ‘holla back’ and that not in a good way. You bringing some of your friends to ‘holla back’ at me and not in a good way.

Time we ALL got some act right, don’t you think? We need to DO right towards one another. Got to start loving each other, yall, warts and all. God loves us. ALL of us. Yes, I am quite sure He is beyond fed up with our hard headedness. Am sure He is shaking His head as He holds back His hand and continues to give us His grace instead. Yall know grace can only be extended for so long. Then, Mom or Dad fixing to come in the room and get to laying into folk. Best us kids all get some act right ‘fore Dad has to come in, don’t you think?

How it must grieve God to have so many folks fighting then wrongly using His Word to defend themselves or their positions.

Time we start extending some Anyway to folk, and begin with ourselves. Yes, you need to be better to you, boo. You know you have messed up. You know you WILL mess up. Stop acting like you don’t need an occasional eraser in your life. Since when did it become wrong to admit we have messed up, get some act right, do right and then keep on pushing?

As for me and my house, I CHOOSE: Anyway, love, hope, peace, joy and plenty of ‘More Than’.

jammin’ still,

Cassandra

The bible says that we are MORE THAN Conquerors through Him that loves us.

What does this mean, you ask? Great question. Ask The Author, for yo own self. ;). One hint, though. We are MORE THAN Conquerors because of many, many, many things. One being that we don’t have to worry about fighting our battles alone. God got our back yall! YASSSSSSSSSS!

God wants ALL to have love and to live it and have it more abundantly. He does not want you feeling less than anything. KNOWS you are a bad Mama Jama! For you young folk, being a bad Mama Jama means you got it going on like popcorn and THEN some. By the by, am currently jamming to ‘She’s a Bad Mama Jama’ as we speak. For, Ms. Cassandra be a bad Mama Jama up in this world.

Ah, yall, that’s how you replace your ‘Too’ and ‘less with ‘More Than’. All you gotsa do is to fill your heart, mind and soul with goodness. Give yourself some self love. Tell yourself the truth. That being, you a bad Mama Jama. There is only ONE you. You so bad, folks, God could only make one, step back and say ‘She a bad Mama Jama’ or ‘He a Bad Man! or ‘They got this’. YASSSSSSSSSS!!

It’s time to rejoice, yall. Life is short. Start ripping down those limiting lies and walls of ‘Too’ and ‘less. Get with them with ‘More Than’ who will dance all up in yo head, in your heart and in your life. ‘More Than’ hangs out with Jesus. Jesus and ‘More Than’ jams with folk ALL the time. Can you hear them? They call for you, this morning. YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!…..*Casssandra does a shimmy and decidely bad spin*….*Jesus takes ‘More Than’ hand, dons some shades and saunters to Cassandra asking her to dance and remove some ‘Too’ and ‘less they see hanging around His Folk*…..

Come on, yall. Life is short. Don’t let one more day, no not even one, go by without removing ‘Too’ and ‘less from your heart, mind and spirit. Invite ‘More Than to move in with you. Take ‘More Than’ with you today. Through EVERY day. Bust down some wall, starting with your own.

‘More Than’ told me to tell you that you ARE ‘More Than:

MORE THAN capable.

MORE THAN able.

MORE THAN enough.

MORE THAN…..hey! No cheating. Get ‘More Than’ going for y0urself. ‘More Than’ is waiting for you!

You got this. Why and how do I know? Why, cuz you be a bad Mama Jama! You are MORE THAN. Walk in that today. Breathe it in. Hug yourself…..*Cassandra hugs herself*…..

LOVE YOU today. Right now. Just as you are. And, love yourself more than enough to allow you to stay in a comfort zone. Tell ‘Too’ and ‘less to go on head and kick some rocks! Get to stepping ‘Too’! Get outta here ‘less! Yall don’t run this show. The Author and Finisher, of our faith runs this house.

jamming with you and for those who have not found the courage yet to do so,

Cassandra

Too old. Too young. Too slow. Too poor. Too loud. Too quiet. Too skinny. Too fat. Too black. Too white. Too rich. Too poor.

God says that He wants us to have life and that life more ABUNDANTLY. Yet, here comes life and others tryna put that dumb ‘Too’ label on us.

Sadly, most folk believe that dumb old ‘Too’. Worse yet, they find themselves agreeing with ‘Too’. In fact, they form a partnership and make their way through life together.

Their life is limited as ‘Too’ is a jealous god. ‘Too’ can’t allow folk to think for themselves. ‘Too’ knows full well that folk would kick it to the curb if they only knew that ‘Too’ was a liar!

Not only is ‘Too’ a liar but ‘Too’ is also cunning. It knows ‘less and brings ‘less along to torment folk. ‘Too’ knows that ‘less enjoys its job. It attaches itself to folks joy, love, hope and makes folks lives completely joyless, loveless and hopeless. ‘Too’ has learned that as long as he keeps ‘less around that folks will never leave it.

They would ALWAYS stay with it. Folks wouldn’t reach out for love or try new things. How could they? They were too old or too young or too short or too tall. Things would always be hopeless, they would always be joyless and loveless.

God wants us to have life and that more abundantly. Which is why He gave us the power to CHOOSE.

We, alone, must CHOOSE to choose. We choose to allow ‘less to keep us down. We choose to allow ‘Too’ to limit us. At any time, we can walk away from ‘Too’. We can ‘less to kick rocks and to keep it moving.

God says you can have life and that more abundantly. What will YOU choose? I choose love. I choose joy. I choose hope. I choose new adventures. I dare you to do the same.

The next time ‘Too’ shows up to visit, tell it to kick rocks and to take ‘less with it. You got life and that more abundantly.

His,

Cassandra

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=C5yJYj6_QP8&feature=share

I sent these words to folk I cared about. Have been praying for folk all day and listening to this song. Makes me sad knowing there are folk out there wondering, even now, if they are seen. If they are loved. They are.

I love you. Three words. Three seemingly small words that loom so large when they are not spoken.

I love you. Those are the words that Jesus spoke, on the Cross, to let us know how very much He loved us and gave His life in order for us to know love and freedom.

I love you. Fear keeps folks from hearing those words. From RECEIVING those words.

I love you. Anger/bitterness keeps folk from believing true love is meant from you.

I love you. Failure to trust keep folk from knowing those words are actually meant for them.

Beloved, I love you was meant for you. God SEES you. God LOVES you. And, best believe GOD CARES deeply for your life.

I love you. Your life matters to me. Why? Because He first loved me!

God loves us folk! God loves us warts and all. Wow. Amazing. He cra cra yall. He KNOWS all our hidden nastiness and foolishness and loves us still. Wow.😍

I love you. Just cuz. We all we got but we all we need.

CHOOSE Love. Choose to not allow fear, anger, past experiences from allowing you to experience love that is not mixed with fear and or self loathing. Let God love you. Ask Him to help you forgive YOU for past or present mistakes. Love wants to love you, warts and all. Let Love love you back.

We are NOT alone.

His servant and your friend,

Cassandra

YOU matter. Your thought matter. Your dreams matter.

2020 has us questioning everything. Has us questioning our sanity and ourselves. Has us wondering if the nightmare will EVER end.

2020 may also have some questioning if THEY matter. There has been days when I have wondered what the point in writing to get folks to understand how hurtful 2020 and before has been for POC. I have grown weary of the fight of trying to educate, encourage other folk of color to hang in there. I have wondered if my words have mattered at all.

After it was announced that there would be no charges filed in the Breonna Taylor case I cried ALL NIGHT. I wanted not to care, wanted to do as before and to stay silent and hide my tears. My tears matter. As does yours.

Your life matters. Your thoughts, hopes, fears, dreams and on and on. I find that my heart won’t let me rest. I don’t want folks to live in a world where they feel they don’t matter. You do. Every last one of you matters. You matter to God. You matter to this world. This world won’t make it without YOU. Just because folk, out of fear, has labeled you worthless does not make it so.

Your life means so much. YOU make a difference in the world around you. Your family needs you. Your friends care for you. They would be there for you if you would only let folks see inside the real you. THE REAL YOU. Away with the mask! Life is just too damned short.

Your life has an affect. When you withdraw, life hurts. When you hold your heart apart from others it hurts them. They grieve. You have folks in your world, right now, who just want to show love and care for you. They are waiting for you to stop being afraid of being you.

You think that you have to have a bunch of money before folk will love you. Think you have to look a certain way or hang with a certain group or wear this or have that. You don’t. Beloved, you don’t.

You are enough, you hear me? You ARE!

Your life matters. Your life causes ripples that wind themselves among eternity.

If I could give the world only one thing I would give them the KNOWLEDGE that they are seen, heard and loved by God. By me. Let the world see you. It’s okay. It will be okay. Be afraid and reach out anyway. Let your life drops make a ripple that will turn into a wave that will turn into a sunami!

We all we got, peeps, but we all we need.

We got this….

Cassandra

I love chili. Love me some chili!!! Bean-less, of course. I know. I know. We could get into an endless debate about chili with or without beans. Another story for another day. Will say, though, that folks who eat chili with beans….smh….*Cassandra doesn’t know what to think about folks who would mess up a perfectly good bowl of chili putting beans in it!*….*shiver*….

Anywho, I have been wanting to make chili. For aeons. At least for the last two years. Yes, like a big moron, I have been too afraid to try to make some blasted chili. I was afraid I wouldn’t season enough. Or, worse, I would over season it. Yech. Eww. Nothing worse than salty chili or stale crackers.

So, I warily looked at different recipes, online. I asked advice of this person and that one. How do YOU make yours? What do you put in it? How much? How long do you let it cook? Simmer? Which seasonings?

Dear God there are so many choices when making chili. Even bean-less chili. Intimidated by the unlimited choices I did nothing……*sigh*……*Cassandra remembers the nightmare of doing nothing about taking out the garbage*….*shiver*

Think of Percival, the fly, I decided to take the chance and try my hand at some chili. Percival thought this a great idea. Yes, he is STILL around, bugging me. Darn it all.

I called my guy cook friend. Man, he can cook yall. He is my teacher. Tells me how much and how long and Cassandra just cook the damn chili would you? Okay, okay, I told him. I made the blasted chili.

Must admit, it was kinda fun. Tinkering around. Measuring the different spices. Being WILLING to try new and different spices. Before I would stick with only the basics: Lawrys and pepper. That’s it! Wasn’t willing to branch out. One day, though, I got tired of the same old, same old spices. I was ready to try something new.

That had me thinking about life and how I had learned to try and do new/different things since mom passed away. Funny how losing something major can teach you how to enjoy the minor things in life, huh? I learned it was okay to try and fail and laugh and get up and fail again and to try again and fail and laugh….rinse and repeat. 🙂

I learned that it is perfectly okay not to be okay at times. It’s okay not to get things right the first time or second time or even the tenth time or maybe not at all.

How did the chili come out? Pretty well, I think. I adapted it and added a bit of BBQ sauce. My cooking guru told me his auntie had put BBQ sauce in hers and it came out well. I enjoyed it in mine. Yet, something was missing. A bit of something I could not put my finger on no matter what I tried. I finished it off and promised myself I would try again.

This past weekend, I tried my hand at another small pot of chili. This time I was more confident. I was more prepared. I had purchased different spices, felt confident enough to add a bit more of that, a bit less of that. Wonderful! It tasted wonderful.

Do you want to know something really weird? In taking the chance, in FINALLY summing up the courage to go ahead and make that chili whether it was a disaster or master piece, gave me the courage to try some other things. Gave me the gumption to work on my life dream of being able to write and work from home, for myself. I began to do those things that will bring me closer to achieving that goal. Yet, in beginning, haven’t I already found success? I am writing. Sharing with you. Not knowing the outcome. Open to new adventures, to meeting new friends to seeing if this writing dream will be a dream or turn into a disaster.

I have no idea. Only know I enjoyed that chili. Only know I am enjoying writing, now, and entertaining myself and hopeless one or two or ten or a thousand or….

What if no one is entertained, you may ask? What if your dream(s) never come to pass? To that I say, so what. I tried. I have grown. In the chili making. In the Me making. In the writing. EVERY day that I try I grow. Every day that I reach out is one more day someone is getting encouraged, hopefully.

I want to say back to you: what is it, in your own life that you have been afraid of trying, for fear of failure? What do you honestly want to do but are afraid folk may laugh at you, life may tell you to get to stepping, or your friends may say what kind of dumbness is that?

I encourage you to go ahead and make the blasted chili, as my friend encouraged/admonished me. The world needs your ‘chili’. The world needs what you have to share. YOU need to know that you can do this thing called life. You CAN. You WILL. As you try. And fail and try. And fail. And laugh. And Fail. Rinse and Repeat.

Life is short. Folk are hungry. Let me know how your chili came out, wouldja? Don’t allow another day to go by controlled by fear: fear of what may happen or what may not happen. Life is short. LIVE! Aren’tcha tired of simply existing?

Cassandra