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Your day IS coming. Sure seems to be taking forever, doesn’t it? Keep going. Keep on trucking. Keep on trying.

Yes, yes, I KNOW the waiting has gotten old. I hear you. Your day IS coming. Sometimes, we just need a boot to the rear, a reminder, a kind word to ‘keep it moving already!’. So, consider boot gently applied.

You got this. You CAN do this. You SHALL do this. In the meanwhile, I pray grace as you continue to strive to be a better you.

Cassandra

I thought of the five WONDERFUL minutes, of normal, where I drank my french vanilla coffee and thought, thankfully, of not a whole lot. I thought, dreamily, of those five minutes of coffee, and….hmm….wondered if I could snatch, perhaps, perchance, maybe a full 30 minutes, of normal.

Dare I risk it? It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO nice, not to have to try, to strive, to fight. I NEEDED 30 minutes, of normal, yall. So, I peeked around, to ensure no one was looking, and stole myself 30 MINUTES OF NORMAL! If you promise, not to tell, I shall tell you, the wonderous secret. So, you can/may, find the courage to steal, 30 minutes of normal, for you.

*Cassandra peers around anxiously*…..shhh…..*Cassandra snatches a flashlight and turns out all the lights*….hmm….*Cassandra dives into the hall closet*…..YIKES!….*Cassandra makes a mental note to fold that basket of clothes already!!*….oopps…..*Cassandra begins to fold clothes then remembers she is supposed to be telling folks how to steal those 30 minutes*…..my bad, yall.

I snatched another 5 minutes of normal, by having another cup of coffee, whilst I pondered HOW I might find a full 30 minutes, of normal. I drank, and pondered. Pondered, and drank. And, then, it happened. IT HAPPENED!!

I picked up the phone. Placed an order for a pizza and Pepsi. Ham, bacon and grilled chicken. With Alfredo sauce, of course, and waited for my supper, to arrive, whist I enjoyed 5 more wonderfully delicious, mindless, free five minutes of normal.

Pizza arrived, soon there after. Plates? Check. Glass? No check. Straight outta the bottle, for me. Napkins? Check, and double check. Fully armed, I picked up, a slice of pizza, munched happily, and began to ponder, how the world I could find 30 minutes of normal.

After a few minutes, I found myself munching more, and thinking less. Drinking lustily/loudly, I found myself enjoying the quiet, enjoying the flavors, enjoying the fantastic burn, of Pepsi going down the pipe, too fast.

One slice, turned to two. Five minutes, turned into 30 minutes. 30 minutes, of quiet. 30 minutes, of peace. 30 minutes, of doing nothing more than enjoying pizza, and the world in general.

I chowed down, on that pizza, during that precious 30 minutes, and felt the pure joy, of living in this wonderful country. I thought of family, I loved, who, hopefully loved me. I thought of friends, who were there for me, through thick and thin, through ALL of my dumbness, and I have done/said/been some super dumb things in my life. Egads. Yikes.

I sat, in my apartment, where I worked hard from so that I could enjoy living in, and thought ‘man, that was a fantastic 30 minutes of normal!’ In fact, I found that an hour, had passed.

Seems like, normal had missed me, too. Normal, had been waiting, anxiously, for ME to return to it. I invited normal, to have a slice of pizza, with me, and stay, for a while. Normal agreed. We had a long talk, normal and I. We talked about how…….oppps…..I promised normal that I would not give away it’s secret. I promised to allow you to find normal, for yourself.

I will give you one hint, though. Life will ALWAYS throw you, for a loop. It will ALWAYS blindside you, from time to time. The trick is, knowing how to get some normal, back in your day, when life flips the script and does ridiculous/outrageous things. The trick lies in caring, for yourself, whilst in the chaos, through the chaos, in spite of, the chaos. Don’t wait for chaos, to end. Or, this to end, or that to change. Find, some normal, in ALL things.

What, IS normal, you ask? Great question! Alas, that is another story, for another time. In this time, in this moment, think I am gonna go have me five more minutes of normal….hmmm……may make that 30 minutes of normal….*Cassandra heads off to the kitchen for a cup of french vanilla coffee*……

Ahhhh…….

US/THEM.

MINE/YOURS.

Seems like, every four years, we find ourselves in a tug of war. Every four years, we are asked to pledge our felty/loyalty, to one side, or the other.

US/THEM.

MINE/YOURS.

Of course, the OTHER side, is ALWAYS demonized. The OTHER side, is always the BAD side, the UNINFORMED side, the UN-AMERICAN side.

US/THEM.

MINE/YOURS.

Blindly, we are told, to follow. Mindlessly, we are instructed, to follow. Loyally, we are demanded, to follow.

US/THEM.

MINE/YOURS.

Maddeningly, seems like, every four years, we find ourselves blindly, mindlessly, loyally following. Us against Them. Mine against Yours. Blindly, mindlessly, loyally.

Of course, NEITHER side, does what THEY say THEY are gonna do. THEY know THEY don’t have to. You see, as long as THEY have US, it’s a wrap, that’s the ball game, there IS no need to play, to do better, to be better. All THEY need, is US.

So, we play THEIR game. Every four years. Until.

Until….

Until!

Until, WE grow tired of blindly, mindlessly, loyally following.

WHAT are WE following?

WHAT ARE WE FOLLOWING!!?

Four years later, US decides to join THEM. Or, THEM decides to join US. Alas, the script is flipped. Or, so it appears. Yet, we are playing, the same game, still. STILL. STILL! The only difference, seems like, is that we play, this time, with more zeal, for the new team: blindly, mindlessly, loyally we follow.

Until…

Until!

Until, WE grow tired of blindly, mindlessly, loyally following.

I am tired of blindly, mindlessly, loyally following.

Blindly, following because it’s all we got, but all we need.

Mindlessly, following because we are promised things will change, this time.

Loyally, following because, well, because we are loyal.

In THIS time, at THIS time, in THIS hour, we can NOT afford to follow blindly, mindlessly, loyally. We can not afford, another four years, another four days, another four minutes, of blindly, mindlessly, loyally following. ANY Team.

WE must choose, the best way forward, the next way forward, the right way forward.

It’s time. For US to pick sides. I choose OUR side. I choose for ALL of us, to win. I choose OUR side. I root, for ALL of us, to win. I choose OUR side. I will fight, for ALL of us, to win.

WE are the UNITED States of America. 50 states. ALL one. ONE Nation. Under God. WITH Liberty. AND, JUSTICE for ALL.

There is no US/THEM in OURS. There is no MINE/YOURS in OURS. This country, belongs to ALL, of US. This country, truly belongs to WE THE PEOPLE!

The Flag, that beautiful American Flag, our brothers and sisters fought for, and dies for, covers US. This is OUR America. The Flag, is OUR Flag. It is YOUR Flag. It is MY Flag. It is OUR Flag.

If we must choose sides. And, make no mistake, we MUST choose a side. We MUST choose the right side: US+THEM/MINE+YOURS = OURS.

I proudly, loudly, loyally choose OUR side. I choose YOU.

I love you, my brothers and my sisters. I love you, America. I got you.

your big/little sis,

Cassandra

P.S. Don’t allow THEM, to divide us, yall. THEM has cost us ALL, many, many things. Many times. What’s worse, most of the time, we have NO idea who THEM even are. Let THEM tear each other down/apart.

When the landmark SCOTUS decision, came down, the other day, granting LBGTQ protective rights, I was really surprised. I had no idea that gay folks could be fired, just for being gay. They could now marry, but could be booted, from their jobs, just for being them. That had me thinking. So, I reached out, to a gay friend, and I apologized. I had no idea, what the colors in the Gay Pride flag meant. That is, until I asked a ‘dumb’ question, and someone explained. They also explained about the pink flag that used to proceed it. Was fascinating learning. I apologized, to my gay friend, that I had never supported gay folk, by walking with them, in their parade. No, I am not gay. But, I love them. Told him that I would ‘do better’. I’m sorry, my gay brothers and sisters. I love you. I got you.

That, got me to thinking of trans folks. I had NO idea how prevalent violence is, towards the Trans community. I had no idea, how many have been murdered, here lately. For no reason, other then them living their lives THEIR way. I was talking, to my gay guy friend, about a trans friend, that I have. Yet, I don’t see him as ‘trans’. To him, he is just my friend. Have always felt that way, about him. He is such a wonderful person. He has such a beautiful heart. And, yet, that heart has been broken, many times, by folks who refuse to see. Or, in seeing, have chosen to judge, and not love. I love you, my friend. I’m sorry, my trans brothers and sisters. I love you. I got you.

And, THAT, had me thinking of my guy POC friend. We have had several deep conversations, regarding living while black. He shared many things with me. How it feels, to be a black man, in THIS America. The things he has to do, how he has to walk, talk, act just to make it home safe. Every step, has been an effort. His male skin, has been considered ‘criminal’, his whole life. As a female POC, I get my horrid treatment. Yet, I think our male POC have had to bear tremendous weight/burden. In addition, they also have had to bear the weight of being the bread winner, the champion, the healer, the stud, the intellectual, the athlete, the….*sigh*….the list goes on and on. I’m sorry, my brothers. My kings/princes. I love you, my brothers. I got you.

Which leads me to my white friends. Man, they have been getting hammered. They woke up, one day, and the entire world, it seems, was mad at them. Mad at them for ‘not being woke’. And, if they HAD woken up, well, folks still mad, demanding ‘why did it take you so long!?’. They are kind of stuck, between a rock and a hard place. As, I, myself, find myself switching between compassion and anger….’dammit, what the hell took you so long to get here!?!’…sorry ’bout that. White folks, don’t know what to do with themselves, let alone angry me, angry us(POC). I tried, to imagine myself, in their shoes. Some, white friends, have let me know how truly hurt they are, how angry they have been, how hopeless they feel that they can’t change things for us. Many, have admitted, they have had no clue and wonder how we all got here. They feel ‘just awful’ they lived in privilege, with the freedom that comes with being able to look away. I can imagine how that must hurt. I’m sorry, my white brothers and sisters. I love you. I got you.

And, that, had/has me thinking of all the other races, the other groups, that have been marginalized, who have been pushed aside, shunned, discarded. I think of young folks, in particular, who have been dismissed, who have been treated as less than, whose thoughts have been thought little of, or not at all. I think of older folks, who have been put out to pasture, who have been dismissed as having lived ‘enough of life’. Who are expected to ‘step aside’ and let the young folks take over. I’m so sorry, young folks, yall matter. Yalls voices matter. Your thoughts are important. Your ideas are crucial. I’m so very sorry, older folks. Yall paved the way, for ALL OF US. Yall built this place. Yall taught us how, so that we could move on and take care of you. I’m sorry to my young/old brothers and sisters. I love you. I got you.

To my brothers and sisters. To ALL of my brothers and sisters of the USA: I’m sorry. I love you. I got you. I cover you, with the Flag, that covers me. Will you, take a corner, and cover, someone else? I got you. Will you have me?

your sister forever,

Cassandra

P.S. If you got me, hit me up, as the young folk say. I want to get to know as many of my sisters/brothers, as I can. We got this, yall. We do

ttnette37@yahoo.com

@Jaybirdforever5

http://www.whycantibeloud.wordpress.com

Found myself enjoying a cup of coffee. French vanilla. Plenty of creamer…..mmm….hmm.

The quiet was nice. I did not have to be: an advocate, a friend, a champion of POC, a coworker, an understanding friend.

Drank that cup of coffee and…..nothing. Dear Lord, thankfully, there was nothing. No pressing need. No worried thoughts that I should be praying/writing/thinking of/for change.

Thinking is hard, yall. Caring, is hard.

Waiting for change, is exhausting. Trying not to think of waiting for change, is exhausting.

So, decided to just….drink a cup of coffee and find just five minutes, of normal.

Ah.

Ah!

The world has gone cra cra. No getting around that.

But, we can still enjoy and take just five minutes. Five minutes, of normal. Wonderful.

So, wonderful, in fact, think I shall enjoy another cup, another five minutes, of normal.

Care to join me?

🙂

I have been praying, for days, for something to be done. POC are dropping, like flies. The hospital are being over run. Yet, this country is going about it’s business. I see folks, who are declaring it’s ‘their right’ to walk around, without a mask. They say they are ‘living their lives’. Dammit, they are living their lives, at the expense of others. They are living their lives, mostly to the detriment, of POC.

I keep seeing, hearing and talking to folks who keeps saying that things are ‘not that bad’. And, it’s white folks, who are saying this. They are not the ones, getting late texts and phone calls. They are not hearing how friends, and loved ones, have died.

I was just talking, to a good white friend of mine, who was telling me that most of the people she knows either don’t care or don’t believe things are as bad as they are. This made me angry/sad. America, should be better than this. How coronavirus became a political issue, I have no idea. It needs to stop. We are all either going to live together, or we are going to die, together. This virus does not care about who you vote for. It does not care about how much money you have. This virus, could care less about where you live or who you love. Yes, it is snatching POC, at an alarming rate. Is also decimating brown folk indigenous/Latinx folks.

Rest assured, the rest of yall, it shall be coming for you. How many of us, though, will have to die, before you give two damns? I am not generally a swearer. I am angry. In a few weeks, there WILL be a major press conference. There WILL be a wringing of hands. Politicians will commiserate ‘with the American people’. They will swear to do better. They will promise relief checks. They will finally ramp up testing. They will end their partisanship, and will promise ‘immediate action. They will, dramatically, shut down the country and vow that ‘we are in this together’. They will have emergency sessions, and hammer out another relief package, in warp speed. They will dole out, direct payments, quick fast and in a hurry.

Why? Because non POC will have lost, a few too many, for their peace of mind. POC will appreciate the relief. We will appreciate the help. We will thank God, for the rest. We will do all of these things. Yet, we shall be sad. Because, we will know, that it wasn’t our black and brown bodies, that moved the needle. It will have been all the white ones. The ONLY reason, this black voice, will have made any difference, by these words, is if they get into the right WHITE hand(s). I can’t breathe. 😦

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

BLACK LIVES MATTER!

I hear this statement everywhere. See the declarations of support: from the community, from corporations, large and small. I have seen the marches, in the streets, for weeks. Folks of all colors, ages and stages, have marched with us POC. They have cried with us. They have taken rubber bullets with/for us. They have demanded ‘change’ from the government, on our behalf. For three weeks, white America marched with us. WHITE AMERICA MARCHED WITH US!

Then, the cameras moved on. I hear the words less. I see more and more folks, running around without masks. I see more and more, white folks, flocking beaches and going on vacations, all over the country. In fact, travel is higher, than it has been in years. Folks are living their lives, most white folks, are living their lives as if there is no pandemic, as if their actions are of little, or no consequence. For days, I have heard white folks saying ‘only the young get it’ or if they, themselves, get it, it ‘won’t be too bad’ or they recover quickly.

Or, let’s be honest, white folks see the staggering statistics that covid is affecting/killing POC at disproportionate rates, and keep it moving. They are thankful, that it is us, and not them. They are silent, once again. Another form of system racism.

Real talk, WHITE AMERICA: are you secretly glad that you can work from home, that you don’t have to make the agonizing choice of a paycheck vs contracting and/or dying from covid, if you get it? Would you be demanding, that meat packing plants open, or schools open, if you were stacked into these covid breeding places? Would you be cavalier if white folks were dying at two and a half times the rate, if white folks were hospitalized, at FIVE TIMES THE RATE, as POC?

Let’s be real, America. This country would ALREADY be in another lockdown, if the majority of white America had to work in the ‘essential’ groups. White America would have demanded, LONG AGO, that this nation be shut down. What’s more, white America, who owns most of everything and has the ear of the White House, would have already demanded a package to have them paid, while they shelter in place!

I talked to a white friend, today, who said ‘that’s just so sad/too bad’ when I told her about having to comfort a friend who lost THREE family members, in ONE DAY! I, myself, received three texts, in ONE day advising of three friends, who all passed away, THAT day. I have been fighting a severe cold, for the past week and a half, and spent time wondering if I would die alone, in my apartment, from this nasty covid, being in a high risk group.

Yes, many white Americans are socially distancing and wearing masks and going about their day. They are enjoying their meat, at the expense of POC, who are dying to help produce it. They are shopping, in stores, where ‘essential workers’ are bagging their groceries. They are traveling on trains, planes, etc where POC are keeping them clean etc.

Yet, we ALL see the rising numbers. Let’s be real, folks. We ALL know and understand that, as soon as enough people, WHITE PEOPLE, start dying that this country, will rise, en masse and demand things shut down, again. It is going to happen. I weep because, it is not going to happen: until more white folks start dying or getting deathly ill. White folks know this. The media knows this. Politicians know this.

I cry, knowing things won’t change, until those bodies pile up. I wonder, how many more of us POC, will die, until enough white Americans die or get super sick, to sound the alarm. How many of us, will be enough? How many of YOURS, will be enough before you demand law makers to do something?

People are demanding that sports, begin again. The vast majority, of players, are POC. I love sports. I pray, EVERY day, that sports gets shut down, in order for our players, and their families, and support staff, are kept safe. POC athletes have entertained America for decades. They do so, to support their families, to entertain the world. They love what they do. Yet, they have NO BUSINESS playing now.

Ah, that’s the big issue, though, isn’t it? BUSINESS? We make the money for you. Us, essential folks, keeps the trains running for you. Folks say BLACK LIVES MATTER. Apparently, it does not seem to matter, when put against the color green. Our lives are worth it, to most folks, to get the economy kick started. I dare White America, to admit that they would not choose their lives, over the economy, if they were the ones risking.

I know. I know. I already hear the arguments coming that white folks are suffering too. That they have to get out there and work, too. That they have to feed their family, too.

Bottom line is the numbers are out of control. The hospital are being over run. We need a FULL lockdown. The government needs to open the wallet, to all of us, not to big corporations, hedge funds, cruise ships, airlines, and all the other companies and billionaires and celebrities, who received MILLIONS in pay. The government needs to close up America, write us citizens a monthly check TO STAY HOME, so that we can get things under control.

America, needs to demand that EVERYBODY wears a damned mask, when things open up, and socially distance, and get things back in the right direction. Other countries, have already done this people!!!!

Evangelical Christians, what in the hell has happened to you, that you demand rights, at the expense of loving your neighbors and wearing a mask to keep everyone safe??! You want to protect a statue and could give a damn that you may be killing your fellow man!!!!

The silence is killing us. POC, your silence is killing us. We have to demand our legislature, friends, sports folks, ALL folks, rise up with us, and get us out of harms way! Folks are dying. WHITE AMERICA, your silence is killing us. How many more days, must we all live through, like this! Corporate America, yes, you are losing money. You are going to lose more. But, how many deaths are worth your bottom lines? This country needs to shut down. All of it. We needed to have done this, as ONE, back in March. We can do it now. Somebody’s mom, dad, aunt, uncle, husband, wife, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, only friend, is dying, as I type these words, as you read these words, that didn’t have to.

Does BLACK LIVES MATTER only at your convenience? POC are dying. From lack of testing, from lack of care, from lack of give a damn. We all watched, George Floyd, and were helpless. We couldn’t do a thing, to help him. We can do something, about this. We can ALL wear our masks, we can all socially distance. We can ALL, shelter in place. Things are close to a tipping point. Why, o why, do we have to wait until the number is too big for Donald Trump, for Republicans to stand up and say enough, for the rest of us to lose our minds, to do something.

Silence has literally killed tens of thousands, of our fellow Americans. Their lives mattered. We must NOT allow their deaths, to have been, in vain. IF you give two damns, stop wringing your hands, open up your mouth, and SAY SOMETHING. If not for me, do it for someone you care for. Death will come, for someone you know. It will. In the meantime, care for those of us who are daily affected.

Your fellow American and sister,

Cassandra

ttnette37@yahoo.com