Just laying here, baying at the moon, heart full of love and joy, singing terribly off key to Hillsong videos…sorry neighbors. 🤷♀️😎
Joy.
Joy!
Awesome.
(((((((((hugs self)))))))))
Hoping folk loving themselves and one another.
If not….what the heck you waitin for??!
Get to it.
Sweetpea
#YourLifeMattersToMe.
These have been some awfully tough days.
Yet, they have been awfully lovely as I have been loving folk, best as I can, with absolutely no fear.
I, am no longer afraid, of:
Not, being loved back.
Being, misunderstood.
Folks, questioning my motives.
Being, rejected.
Being ignored.
Folks, responding with anger, disdain and all the other emotions hurt folks tend to respond to genuine displays of affection with.
Yes, those things hurt. I am human. The human heart was built to be love and to love.
Through the love of God, of Life, of family, of friends, and myself, I have learned to keep it moving no matter what, no matter why, no matter who.
I have ALWAYS loved words and people. Even as a young child. I was born this way. 🤷♀️
It’s why I wake up wondering if folks I have never met are okay.
It’s why I end my evenings hoping those same folks had a good day and asking God and Life to look after them. Even the ones who wish I’ll for folk who look like me.
Those folks I especially ask God to love and help and bless. Must be difficult to carry so much ill will in your heart for folks simply because they don’t look like you or act like you or feel like you. Lord, please help them. They really know not what they do. Bless them. Help me to understand that folks just don’t understand.
My heart is so full now, absent the fear!
Amazing……(((((((((hugs self)))))))))).
I so wish I could scoop out some of this fearless love, and give it to you, beloveds, so you can also know this breathless wonder and joy even in the midst of heavy times.
The awesome news beloveds is that you can also experience loving without fear.
How?
Love.
Love, afraid.
Love, embarrassed.
Love.
Rinse.
Repeat.
After a while, the I feel like a complete idiot feeling will pass. The I feel like a moron feeling will fade. The what in the fresh hell am I wasting my time for will always pop up now and again but you tell that feeling to go on ahead and kick some rocks and keep on loving.
One day, I promise, beloveds, you will wake up, amazed that you honestly are no longer afraid to love.
Life is so short. None of us know how many days we have to love one another. Yet, the whole world has lost it’s collective minds over a slap heard around the world.
It’s time for the gavel to come down, beloveds. Time to stop judging folks actions, motives and just love them. Period.
We are ALL flawed, nuanced human beings. Whoever and whatever we call ourselves let us love, one another.
Without, fear.
Without, judgment.
Without, limits.
Without, conditions.
I love you.
Yes, I, Sweetpea, love YOU?
Why?
You are part of my global family. Families fight but they ought love one another, don’t you think?
I pray for you.
I ask for the best for your life and those in your life.
I shed tears, of joy, that soon you shall experience this AWESOME joy of loving for the sheer pleasure of caring for another human soul.
There are so many family I can no longer love, on this earth.
There are friends, now acquaintances, or no longer even that that I still miss, terribly, and wish them well and wish that they knew how much I love them, still.
Easter, is coming.
Last Easter, my heart was full of lamentation for a world seemingly grown cold with hatred, divisiveness and fear.
This year, in THIS year, all my heart longs to do is love folk as long as I can til this heart beats no more.
Easter, is coming.
Love, wants to come for you.
Let, Love in.
Life, wants you to live life, to LIVE, to the fullest.
Let, life in.
Be encouraged,
Sweetpea STILL
awesome
What a beautiful way to begin the morning—with love flowing in every direction. ❤️ From Father and Jesus to Mom,…
What a beautiful reminder that progress doesn’t always have to be dramatic to be meaningful. 💙 “One step. One step.…
as always beautifully written, beautifully spoken beautifully sister…..your journey is far from over . ❤️
I love this quote!
I am doing my bestest, my darndest, to be about it and make everything around me as beautiful as I can make it.
How about you?
The world, currently, is in an uproar over one man who put his hands on another man.
I choose to extend my hand(s), my heart, my shoulder, my care, my love, my prayers, my friendship, to this world, best as I can, for so long as I have breath.
I extend, first, to you, beloveds. I then, reach out, or try to, reach for the rest.
Help me, beloveds. I can’t get to them all.
Help, me.
Help, someone else.
Love them, beloveds. Folks need you to love them.
ALL of them.
Even, the pigheaded ones.
The, wrong ones.
The, dumb ones.
The, old ones.
The, young ones.
The, on the opposite side of the fence onces.
The, on the opposite ends of the earth ones.
The, on the other side of the track ones.
It doesn’t matter, who, beloveds.
Just LOVE someone.
Folks ain’t clothes, you know.
We ain’t no color to choose.
We ain’t no size to select.
We ain’t no object to be bartered with.
We are a whole collections of what in the fresh hell and none of us know what the wide world we are doing folks who are trying their level best to make it through a world that don’t make a hill of beans sense.
*shrug*
No matter.
Love them, still.
Love me, still.
Love you, still.
What the world you waiting on, beloved(s)?!
Yea, I am talking to YOU!
Stop, waiting on me, on others, to fill you. Grab a bucket and get to filling up someone else.
In refilling another, in refilling others, God and Life will fill you so full you won’t be able to hold the excess and will have to drip all that love onto another, and still others.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Go on, now.
You got this.
Remember?
getting after it with you,
Jaybird ARISES
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Beloveds, you can do this.
You can do this life.
You CAN.
You WILL.
Just have to keep going.
Just keep going, beloveds.
One, step, at a time.
Just, one.
ONE!
Don’t worry about the long journey, up ahead.
One, step.
Then, another.
And, another.
And, another.
Until?
The end, is not the point.
Never, has been.
Never, will be.
It, is the JOURNEY, that counts.
ENJOY, the journey.
EVERY, step.
Even, the hard ones.
Especially, the hard ones.
Reach down, beloveds, take the rock, from your shoe. Hold onto it, as a momento, of the hard day(s), the long walk, the end of a struggling, a long road.
You can do this.
I am proud of you, beloveds. So very proud.
Look, around you.
Claim, your victory.
In, advance.
It is surely yours.
You have, and are, learning/have learned the meaning of the fight.
The fight, is besides the point.
It is what the fight, takes out of, and returns back to, the fighter.
MEOW!
ROAR!
Uh, oh, world, seems like you have woken up both the kitty, in me, AND, the tiger!
Ha.
HA!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
You can do this.
Say.
Live.
Love.
Time, to stop scraping your way through your days.
Time, to stop hiding from yourself.
Time, to stop hiding from life.
Get on out there, beloveds, and LIVE. Grab someone’s hand and take them with you. Dance, for someone, who can’t yet dance. Sing, for someone, who can’t yet sing. Rejoice, for someone, who can’t yet rejoice.
And, don’t feel bad, if currently, you are on the side of those who can’t yet. Someone shall be along for you, shortly. In the meantime, meow, just a lil bit, would you please and thanks.
I have decided to do me, today. Just going to keep doing what I have been doing, for the past 14 plus hours…praying for you, chair dancing in the dark, praying for you, praying for the world, praying for me, crying for every heart that is broken and in need of care, crying out for every heart that is broken and in need of repair. Rinse. repeat.
Until, those hearts are healed.
Then, once healed, can live the life they were meant to. In the meantime, will pray grace for those same hearts KNOWING they can, still, live the life they were meant to, broken, battered, bruised heart and all.
Keep, going.
I go with you.
God and Life goes with us all.
Take really good care of that heart of yours. There is only ONE you. Just one. A priceless soul. A worthy soul. a cherished soul, a seen soul, a loved soul, a cherished soul, an honored soul.
loving me some you,
Cassandra aka Sweetpea
#YourLifeMattersToMe
it was an interesting read, broken down within characters explaining detail after detail.
awesome
What a beautiful way to begin the morning—with love flowing in every direction. ❤️ From Father and Jesus to Mom,…
What a beautiful reminder that progress doesn’t always have to be dramatic to be meaningful. 💙 “One step. One step.…
as always beautifully written, beautifully spoken beautifully sister…..your journey is far from over . ❤️
Easter is coming.
A, reminder.
His, loss.
Your, gain.
His, life.
Freely, given.
For, you.
For, me.
His, loss, was, is not lost, on me.
For, I know.
Now, I KNOW.
His, loss, was surely my gain. And, your gain.
Sometimes, beloveds, in order to gain everything, we must be prepared to lose it all, to give it all.
At times, life extracts the last full measure from us. In order to:
Reveal, to us…
Remove, from us…
Our, fear.
ALL, fear.
This is why, beloveds, God and Life, seemingly sits idly by, while we:
Lose, it all.
Win, it all.
What, shall/have, we, lost/won?
What, shall/will, we, see as gain, as loss?
Ah!
Ask, beloveds.
You may be surprised by the answer.
Fear, not.
Your, ask, your very act of asking, IS your answer. Your, ticket.
To:
Freedom.
From:
Fear.
Whose fear, you ask?
Aha!
You, are getting closer!
Keep, going.
Keep, asking.
Asking who, you ask?
You, are almost there!
To be continued.
Things are not as they appear to be, in your life, around your life, beloved.
Look, around.
All the losses, you have suffered, in the past, in the present day, have NOT been for naught. They have, they are fulfilling the purpose, for your life.
These losses, will be your net gain.
For, they are revealing the purpose, revealing your purpose, in your life, for your life.
For, your life, was also meant to help God, to help Life, to fulfill the purpose of someone, of many someone(s) life/lives.
Your, loss.
Their, gain.
Full, circle.
We, love, because He, FIRST loved/loves us!🥰💃
YYYYAAAAAAAASSSSS!
It is why, I rejoice that I have fought the night, ALL night, lost and yet have already won.
The night, can have it’s spoils.
I await, the coming dawn.
I await, to seize the day.
I write these words of victory, in the middle of incredible loss, heartache and lack.
Laughing, crying, rejoicing KNOWING that all is NOT lost.
Yes, I have lost some dear friends on these past months, even in the past days.
Yes, I have lost financially, losses I can not recover, make up for, see my way out of, alone. Yet, I am alone. Yet, not.
Yes, I suffered a professional loss. In the midst, lost my pride, lost my fear of speaking truth to power, lost my fear of losing my job, lost my fear of failure/success.
The outcome(s). of all my losses, have still yet to be determined.
I have, determined, and, I have learned that the outcome(s) are besides the point.
Real talk, beloveds, I am having a hard time finishing this piece. My humanity, it seems, is getting in my way. The remaining words are there. But, I’m tired. I spent the day yesterday, in tears. Worked, through tears. Wrote, through tears. I told a friend, yesterday, that I was TIRED of fighting through, struggling with, so many losses. Preparing, for more loss.
The dawn, is almost here. Ready to deliver yet another day to be fought through, and to be lived. I’m exhausted, still, from the night that still lingers.
How can/will I get through this coming day(s)? I have NO idea. It is this distraction that is keeping me from ending this piece in a life-affirming crescendo.
I pass the keyboard, and my heart, to you for you to finish this piece. I shall end here and wait for your answer(s).
What, shall/have, we, lost/won?
What, shall/will, we, see as gain, as loss?
Easter, is coming.
Be encouraged.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Live!
Now!
Here!
Where you are, RIGHT NOW.
Not, when, not where you think you should be.
Live!
Now!
Here!
In, darkness.
In, light.
In, love.
While, alone.
With, fullness.
With, lack.
Whatsoever state you find yourself in, beloveds, live, dammit!
Live!
Now!
Here!
Afraid.
Fearless.
Fretful.
Full.
Empty.
Nevertheless…
However…
For, in the meantime, the minutes, the hours, the weeks, the months, the years, the decades, pile up until you look around and not much of you,of life, is left.
Live now, right now, right here, not in spite of life, not despite life, not fearing life, not waiting for life and making due in the meantime.
Live, now, right now, in the moment, not in the meantime.
living with you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Here, I sit, in the darkness.
Shoulders, heavy from burden after burden after burden.
Eyes, stinging, red from ceaseless tears.
Heart, shattered, broken, in ten thousand pieces.
Here, I sit, among burdened shoulders, peering through the darkness, eyes straining, tired from ceaseless, never ending teardrops, heart shattered, broken, in ten thousand pieces, with a smile on my face, a song on my lips, arms outstretched towards heaven thankful for the day that contains my breath, my life, still.
STILL!
I dance, still.
I write, still.
I laugh, still.
I love, still.
I try, still.
Even, in the darkness.
Even, carrying these burdens, these tears.
Even, walking this path alone, in the darkness, yet not, alone.
I sit here, in the darkness, swaying, ever so slightly, rocking, ever so gently, for those not yet able to chair dance, in the light.
So, beloved, beloveds, I say WITH you, in your darkness, with you, for you, til you can sway, every so slowly, in the light.
Hoping, maybe, one, then another, may begin to rock with me, ever so quiet, your tears, mingling with my tears, waiting for others to come along, in silent solidarity, in silent triumph and song, til we have started a chair dance that shall wrap the world with our love, with our care.
If you are feeling burdened, it’s okay. I got you. God and Life has us all.
Rest now, beloveds. Lay down your heavy heart(s).
Come, be ministered to.
Receive, rest.
Rest, yea, even in the darkness. For, even in the darkest night there IS light. Can you see it?
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Be encouraged, beloveds.
I love you❤
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw3WbIbeXEU&feature=share
I didn’t know my own strength!
I sit here, tearfully.
I stand here, joyfully.
I kneel here, humbly.
Victorious.
Supported.
Loved.
By He, who IS Love.
By, Life.
By, family.
By, friends.
Mostly, blessedly, by me.
ME!
I love me, some me.
Took a long time, beloveds, for me to learn some me, accept some me, receive some me, believe in some me, hope for some me.
For so long, you see, just me, just being me, didn’t appear to be enough for this world, for circumstances, for situations, for others, for jobs, for other races, for any and all men.
For so very long, I would not allow me to be enough, for me. I mistakenly believed I had to be this, do that, give this, have that, to be seen, loved, valued, honored, cared for.
I cry, as I write these next words. Through tears, I freely, gladly, joyfully admit that I didn’t even believe that I ever was, never could be, enough for God, for Life, for a man, for friends, for a ‘decent’ job. I accepted scraps to be eaten by the grateful for any scrap me.
Yes, the world whispered these lies to me. Yea, the enemy(for Christian folk like me the enemy name is satan) shouted these lies to me on an endless loop. Absolutely, people, circumstances and situations reminded me daily of these lies.
Sadly, I repeated their refrain, added many more of my own. Mixed them all until there was not much of me except the hard working, encourager, encouraging, strong person I thought was me.
Until, One, Who IS Love, gave His All, His Life, His Blood, for me. For, me!
Yet, I had been so ashamed, of being me, I couldn’t fully receive, see or accept His Love, His Care, for me. I had soooooo much live for the world, for others, yet had little, to none to spare for me.
It was only through the relentless love, of My Relentless Love, God, and Life that I was able, FINALLY, to receive, love, accept, respect, care for, rejoice for, stand up for and stand by…me.
Me.
Me!
ME!!
YYYYYYAAAAAAAASSS!
I didn’t know my own strength!
Only God knows how many moments I wanted to walk away, from me. He wouldn’t let me.
Thank You, God. For, not giving up, on me.
Thank you, Life. For, not giving up, on me.
Thank you, family. For, not giving up, on me.
Thank you, friends. For, not giving up, on me.
Thank you, beloveds. For, not giving up, on me.
Thank you, me. For, not giving up.
It is my heartfelt prayer that every heart can and will know he/she/they are seen, heard, loved and cherished.
You are not alone.
Be encouraged.
Light/love WILL drive out the darkness. And, even in darkness God and Life can see and is there with you til you can see/be.
You CAN.
You WILL.
You ARE!
here,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=RRNdmkH8zrI&feature=share
You go!
Look at YOU, with your bad self!
You go!
The world, your foes, your circumstances and situations are bowing, to YOU, to your fight, to your never say never, to your kick some rockness, to your faith, to your tenacity!
You go!
Take, your bow.
Lift up, your head and look around at ALL you have overcome, at all you are yet defeating.
Go on ahead, with your bad self!
Do, a chair dance.
Strut, your stuff.
Admire, your scars. For, they are a sign you have battled the beast, thrown hands with your foes and you are here, STILL, beloveds!
YOU GO!!!!
YYYYYYAAAAAAAASSS!
Don’t fret about things, to come.
Worry not about the mountain still being there.
Rejoice, beloveds, for you are growing, you are glowing, you are showing ALL that you are so much MORE THAN A CONQUEROR.
Tell discouragement, fear, hopeless, defeat, anger, give up, apathy and ALL that which has tried to hold you back to go on head and take TWO seats, kick ALL dem rocks already!
You go!
I am proud of you, beloveds.
I am proud, of me.
We are doing all that we know, we are fighting, still, no matter what, no matter why, no matter how.
No longer, not ever, not for a second, do we/will we use ANYTHING as an excuse to give up, to give in, to walk away, to despair.
No longer, not ever, not for a second, do we/will we use ANYTHING as an excuse to not love, not reach out, not look up, not encourage, not laugh, not rejoice, not pray, not stand, not praise.
No longer, not ever, not for a second, do we/will we use ANYTHING as an excuse dim our light, extinguish our joy, dismiss our hope, put down our witness, withdraw our support/love/encouragement/exhortation/act right.
You go!
Keep, going.
Keep, growing.
Say.
Live.
Love.
You go!
You got this.
As, do I.
I love me some you, beloveds. I really do. If prayers can change the world, and they can/do, then watch your world(s) change, for the better. Get ready, beloveds, for your blessings. YOURS! They are coming. They are near. Chair dance with me, til the change(s) come…
rejoicing with/for you and for those who can’t yet rejoice,
Cassandra aka Jaybird aka Sweet Pea
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Success, baby!
Used my air fryer, for the first time.
May not seem like a big deal, but it’s a huge deal.
It’s the air fryer I purchased for myself for Christmas 2016. Never opened it, until this afternoon. Took me forever to even move the box out of the living room and into another room. Sat there, another year or so. Finally, moved it, one room over, one step closer to the kitchen and using.
Five years.
Mom, five years gone now.
*sigh*
After blogging about her, yesterday I think, I found myself hankering for a bit of chili. So odd, I thought. I have not thought of, wanted, or hankered for chili since my friend passed away. I guess letting her go more, letting mom go, more, I am inching a bit closer to some healing, to Spring, to breathing, again, without a boulder sitting on my chest.
*Cassandra takes a huge breath*
I took over my training class asking for air fryer tips. We spent a good hour going over how to make this, what to put on that….lol….I had everyone starving and ready to leave work early.
Drummed up the courage, opened my heart, opened the air fryer, and actually read and followed the directions. Who knew how much easier it is to use new appliances instead of pressing this, pulling on that, half tearing up the other?! Miracles never cease.
Amazing how tender those porkchops were! I would love to say I ate them and yakked with mom as I did so. Nope. Was too busy tearing those bad boys up! Yummers!
I have other gifts from 2016 to open. A few I bought for me, a few given to me by others. Think I may have Christmas in March and open the rest, this weekend. Then again, my heart may not yet be ready for them.
Baby steps.
Air fryer, baby!
How great is that?!!
grateful,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Take care, beloveds. Take care, of you. Take, your time. Take, some stock on where you are, where you would like to go, how you may get there, how long it may or may not take. Take, the time you need to heal and grow and don’t beat yourself about your current circumstances and surroundings.
You are EXACTLY where God and Life need you to be.
You are NOT:
Lost.
Hopeless.
Helpless.
Empty.
Behind.
Uncovered.
Alone.
You ARE:
Loved.
Cherished.
Protected.
Seen.
Heard.
Valued.
You CAN:
Do, so much more than you have ever given yourself credit for.
Be, what you choose to be, as best you can, so long as you give it your all as best you can.
Say, all the things needing to be said so long as you speak whether you feel strong, weak or indifferent.
Love, and be loved.
Live, fully and with everlasting joy, hope, peace, integrity, honesty, laughter, fulfillment and so many things too many to mention.
It is time, beloveds. YOUR time. Time, to rise up. Time, to step up. Time, to look up. Time, to chair dance. Time, to sing. Time, to run. Time, to ponder. Time, to wonder. Time, to wander.
We know not how much more time we have, beloveds. Just that we have just enough time to do what needs to be done. Best get to it now, beloveds. Get to it.
As, will I.
getting to it with you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 
it was an interesting read, broken down within characters explaining detail after detail.