I have been wanting to go to the lake. Have heard how pretty it was. Have never been. Have been wanting to go for five years. Egads! Will get to him in a minute!
I was also starving. Hankering for some BK Original Chicken sandwiches.
Road trip!
Figured I would go to the lake, enjoy some peace, music and hang out time with God and Life.
We have been having an awful heat wave. The weather has been bad. For weeks. EVERY time I planned to go to the lake, something always came up. I was TIRED of using the heat, as an excuse. I needed to get out.
Last night, I must admit to being a bit pitiful; alone, listening to coworkers discuss family bbq holiday plans.
I ALLOWED myself to be sad, lonely and pitiful, for a time. I find it sad that society tries to make folks feel sad about feeling, well sad, at times.
Especially, Christian folk. Good night, appears to be a crime to be a Christian with any type of feeling. Another subject for another day.
Anywho, let myself BE:
Lonely.
Lonely.
Lonely!
Woke, next day, and was done being lonely. Went about my afternoon, enjoying my solitude with God and Life. Decided to annoy my wombie and rang her up. Delicious!π
So much so, I decided to try the lake experience.
*sinister music begins to play in the background. Foreshadowing!!π*
Snatching up water, snickers bar, purse, keys, adventurous spirit, I hopped in Cherry π, blasted my fave music and headed for beauty, lake-chilling, awesome music and hanging out with God and Life.
Full disclosure: I love mountains. Love, love love looking at them on television and on my scenic calendars. That said, I am absolutely TERRIFIED of mountain road driving. Especially the especially curvy, winding, what the hell is all this fresh hell, type windy roads.
*sinister music is up full blast about now. A terrifying monster have joined said sinister music just waiting for entrance….*sigh*π
So, of course, the 30 MINUTE DRIVE IS ALL WINDY, TWISTY, WHAT THE FRESH HELL IS ALL THIS TWISTY PRETZEL ON STEROIDS ROADS!!!!
OMG!!!
Geez!!
GEEZ!!
Oh, yea, yall I was introduced to Geez! today. Yall already know me and Yikes! and Egads! are tight.
30 minutes! I forgot to enjoy my music. Who can enjoy music hollering ‘Geez!’ at the top of one’s lungs, anyway!
GEEZ!!
GEEZUS!!!!π±
God: Why don’t you enjoy these beautiful mountains I made for you?
Me: Can’t You see?! I am trying not to die here!!
Yikes!: Yea, we a bit busy here. Egads!
Egads!: What in the fresh hell!!??
GEEZ!: Geez! Don’t folk know how to drive!? OMG! SLOW DOWN!!
Fast forward a horrifying 30 minutes, white knuckled, I pull up to an entrance, one mile from my destination, says Google Maps, and this tiny man, in shorts two sizes too big, rushes up and yells at me:
Tiny man: Hey! You almost went the wrong way! The ranger would give you an $1,800 ticket for going the wrong way!
Me: Sir, I have never been here before. I am not from around here.
Tiny man: I don’t care.
Tiny man storms off. I get ready to head towards the lake, a mile away. Terrified, still, I remind myself I will be seeing the lake, soon. I soooo looked forward to seeing it, in PERSON. I was tired of enjoying life in picture, in dreams.
I wanted, no NEEDED, to see the lake, in person. A reminder that my other dreams would soon be lived out, by me. I wouldn’t have to keep longing for them. Would hold them, in my hands.
Whilst daydreaming and waiting my turn, tiny man came tearing back to my car:
Tiny man: So, you know it costs $5 to enter, don’t you?
Me: I had no idea. That’s fine.
Tiny man: You know we only take cash, don’t you?
Me: I had no idea. I am not from here. I don’t carry cash. Will you accept my credit card?
Tiny man: No. Most folk are like you. They only use cards. You will have to turn around.
Me:πππ€·ββοΈ
The next thoughts I had were not age appropriate, I must say.
It would be one thing, to have conquered my fears, and be rewarded with a pretty lake, quiet time and chillaxing.
Nope. ALL I had accomplished was a terrifying ride, only to be turned back, ONE mile, from my destination.
A metaphor for my life, this past little while.
I could have gotten angry with God and Life for not giving me the ‘heads up’. They KNOW my fears. They could have let me know what was around those terrifying bends. Rather, could have let a sista know the terrifying bends were coming, in the first place.
They could have told me to bring some cash.
Why did They remain silent?
To enjoy my terror?
No.
To take satisfaction in another experience falling short of my Hope’s, my expectations, my dreams?
No.
To take glee in me ‘wasting’ an afternoon?
No.
Why then? Will answer after describing the trip back.
OMG THE TRIP BACK!!
GEEZ!: MUST we talk about the trip back! OMG!!!!!
Me: We must…*sigh*
White knuckled, I turn around. This time, I tell myself I am going to do my best to enjoy the mountains, the gorgeous clouds, the sunshine, and return trip home.
I had to do the trip, anyway, may as well make the best of things, of the day.
It’s amazing how peaceful a winding mountain drive can be, minus screams of GEEZ! and OMG!s. I could actually hear the soothing music, enjoyed how the trees swayed this way and that. Seems like the trees were enjoying the music, the sun, the peace along with me and God and Life.
I forgot to be afraid.
I forgot my mad about being ONE mile from a five year’s daydream.
I forgot.
I lived.
Just LIVED.
The scary was no longer scary.
The scary became another precious moment.
A moment I will carry with me for the rest of my days.
Looooong after I have forgotten the initial terror, I will remember the MOMENT:
The drive.
The quiet.
The peace.
The knowledge I had faced more fears and LIVED, anyway.
It was the TRY, you see, God and Life were actually after. The lake was besides the point.
There will be other opportunities, to see the lake. At least, I hope there will be. One never knows. Life happens.
The moral of the tale, I guess, is to TRY. Just TRY. Get on out there. EXPERIENCE life. Don’t just survive it.
Don’t let the threat of ‘heat’ to keep you from getting out there and mixing it up with life.
Will I try again, tomorrow? Who knows.
I DO know, THIS TRY, has given me the confidence, the willingness, the drive to TRY something else.
God and Life had a different path and plan for my afternoon. Did it make mine unimportant? No, just meant they course corrected to another moment, to another journey. I learned more about me. I enjoyed the mountain drive. I enjoyed ME.π
ALL we need to do, beloveds, is to TRY. That and make sure you have some cash on you, just in case! ππ€£
Live. Love. Rejoice.
We got this.
God has us all.
I love you,
Cassandra ACCOMPLISHED
#YourLifeMattersToMe

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- π¬ MAYBE THEY WEREN’T βTOO BLACK.β MAYBE I WAS STILL HOLDING THE RULER. πͺπBeloveds,I told you I caught myself watching Black romance movies and thinking:Too loud.Too boisterous.Too Black.π³And the Holy Spirit convicted me.Then I watched Deliver Us from Eva.WHEW.πBecause suddenly I wasn’t only watching Eva.I was looking at the ruler I sometimes used to measure everybody.Let’s start with Eva.She’s intelligent, professional, beautiful, protective, loving, bossy, controlling, loyal and complicated.All of it.πShe doesn’t have to become either the Angry Black Woman Who Needs Taming or the Strong Black Woman Whose Every Choice Must Be Defended.Eva needs correction AND Eva deserves dignity.She helped raise her sisters after their parents died. Protection became part of her identity.But eventually protection sometimes became control.βοΈ If I don’t manage everybody, everything will fall apart.π I can love grown people without controlling grown people.Her sisters need a key too.You cannot keep handing somebody the clipboard to your life and then get mad because she keeps writing on it.π€£Eva has to stop managing.Her sisters have to start owning.Everybody gets a chair.πͺAnd YESβTHE MEN TOO.π€£πͺπͺπͺπͺRay begins by deceiving Eva.That matters.But eventually βthe problemβ becomes a person to him.Eva.And Ray changes.π Sometimes genuinely knowing somebody destroys the caricature we created from a distance.But Ray deserves his own humanity too.He’s working, dreaming, saving, flawed, funny, romantic, masculine and tender.He doesn’t need to become a CEO before he’s worthy of love.There’s that ten-times-better ruler again.πThen Mike.Mike has a legitimate frustration with Eva’s interference.His solution?SIR. SIT DOWN.πͺπ€£Because here’s another key:π A legitimate grievance does not automatically make every remedy legitimate.Pain deserves acknowledgment.Choices still require accountability.Then Tim made me ask:What does a Black man have to look like before we consider him βman enoughβ?Dominant?Always in charge?Never soft?Never uncertain?Why?Tim doesn’t need more masculinity.He needs his voice.πA loud Black woman shouldn’t have to shrink.A quieter Black man shouldn’t have to perform dominance.Both get chairs.And Darrell?π€£Some people are intellectual heavyweights.And some people areβ¦Darrell.π€£β€οΈHE GETS A CHAIR TOO.Intelligence isn’t the admission price for dignity.Sophistication isn’t the admission price for love.Black people are allowed to be ordinary.Goofy.Messy.Wrong.Funny.Tender.Brilliant.Ridiculous.Rich.Poor.Loud.Quiet.Human.And suddenly the Holy Spirit’s conviction went deeper.Maybe I had become nervous when Black characters weren’t representing us βwell enough.βWhat will THEY think?Why are they so loud?Why aren’t they more polished?More educated?More professional?More respectable?Moreβ¦acceptable?π³And suddenly I’m not watching a movie.I’m conducting a performance review of Blackness.βοΈThat’s exhausting.Because Black characters should not have to carry the reputation of an entire people on their backs.And sometimes, without realizing itβwe help load the backpack.That was part of what the Holy Spirit showed me.Not merely:Cassandra, look at them.But:Cassandra, look at your ruler.πWho handed it to you?Why are you still carrying it?And I knew part of the answer.Ten times better.There was love and survival inside what Black folk taught me.They were preparing me for an unfair world.But:βYou may have to be ten times better to receive the opportunityβcan quietly become:βBlack people SHOULD be ten times better.βNO.β€οΈβπ©ΉI reject that.Black excellence is beautiful.Black dignity is unconditional.Eva gets correction and dignity.Ray gets tenderness and accountability.Mike gets frustration and responsibility.Tim gets quietness and voice.Darrell gets goofiness and dignity.The sisters get love and agency.Nobody has to become less Black.Nobody has to become ten times more human.EVERYBODY GETS A CHAIR.πͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺAnd maybe that’s what the Holy Spirit was really asking me:Cassandra, why are you still holding the ruler?π³My answer?I’m learning to put it down.πAnd maybe you have one too.Race.Education.Disability.Age.Money.Accent.Religion.Politics.Body size.Mental illness.Addiction.Sexuality.Somebody whose life simply doesn’t look like yours.Don’t perform an answer for me.Be honest with you. For, HIM.ππΏWhat ruler are you carrying?Who handed it to you?Who have you measured with it?Have you measured yourself with it too?And if the Holy Spirit is showing it to you, maybe He isn’t giving you the ruler so you can beat yourself with it.Maybe He’s saying:Child. You don’t need that anymore.Put it down.πβ€οΈβπ©ΉPull up your chair.πͺLet somebody else pull up theirs.And let people be fully human in front of you.Includingβyou.π©πΏβπ¦ΌππΏβ€οΈβπ₯πAsking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on beingβ¦YOU!Unapologetically His.Unapologetically yours.









