I was scrounging to my positive sayings, trying to pick just the thing, scrounging around my brain, for just the ‘right’ thing to encourage somebody, to make somebody smile, to make somebody want to keep on trying.
Alas, I am a bit on the tired side, today, just a tad. I saved the world, you see, with The Avengers.
Do me a solid, somebody and give the rest of us something encouraging to read, to look at, to ponder on, to be about being about it with.
Hope all had an awesome day. Was super tired after defending the world from Thanos, with The Avengers. Picard and I roamed a galaxy or two after that. Work was slow enough to allow for plenty of coffee drinking, day dreaming, and eating of the rest of the mini cinnamon rolls.
What is a gal to DO, of an evening?
Hmm….
*Cassandra spies a few Kit Kats that apparently escaped last night’s raid.
Ha!
brb,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Don’t forget to have a good laugh or two, a bit of a rest, a nice walk, something that will jump start your week….
Best advice my big brother has given me, this year. That and chill and have a cup of coffee!
I had been internally stressing about this, lamenting about that.
He told me to chill, have a cup of coffee, and get out the way. Life will do what it do, it’s not my place to force my way, force my say, force what I think should/could/would happen regarding this and about that.
I listened, to my bro.
I listened, to my heart.
I listened, to God and Life.
Took a breath, closed my eyes, and let things go.
I stepped away from:
My, expectations.
My, perceptions.
My, reservations.
I gave myself the PERMISSION to allow life to play out the way it needs to. Oftentimes, beloveds, we view things from OUR life happenings, not the current happenings. We go by our limited world view, how we grew up, where we grew up, who we grew up with.
Then, seeing from a limited way, we pile expectation upon expectation upon expectation upon expectation until we are so weighted down and tired the day(s) seems endlessly hard.
The good news, beloveds, is that the same person who put on all that weight can remove it all:
YOU!
You just need to give yourself permission:
To, put it down.
To, walk away.
To, give over to others to do.
To, remove the ownership from shoulders that should have never carried the ownership.
It’s not your work to do, beloveds.
It’s not your job to be the savior for your family, your job, your friendships.
ALL you can do is the very best you can do for all. That’s it.
It’s not your job, beloveds, to be responsible for the outcome, to own what happens after you did your best.
It’s not your work to do.
Nor mine.
Am sooooooooooooooooooo thankful I put down the weight.
A good thing, also, as I have picked up a fair bit of actual weight stemming from emotionally carrying things not meant for me to carry.
Enough of lamenting all the things you are not, or think you are not.
Enjoy the life called you. This world is blessed by you, by all that you are, by all that you try and do.
The week is drawing to it’s end. Let it end and look forward to the coming days. It’s not how many days we have left, but what we do with the days we have left.
Not until, rather, I gave myself PERMISSION, to actually BE afraid, and to admit I was afraid.
My heart has been moving towards doing some outrageous things, some challenging things, some ridiculous things given my age(or so they say). The closer my heart has gotten to the edge, to doing the damn thing, the more I have felt, or tried to keep from feeling, the exhilarating, terrifying, what the hell am I doing, what if I fail feelings?!
I asked myself what would happen if I just went ahead and admit, to myself, that I WAS afraid? What would happen?
Hmm.
Hmm?
Chicken!
Not liking myself having called myself a fraidy cat, I took the dare and admitted, to me, that I was afraid:
Afraid, I may fail.
Afraid, I may succeed.
Afraid, I may lose.
Afraid, I may win.
Afraid, my dreams may come true and I wouldn’t know what to do with them actually realized.
Afraid, my dreams would never come true and I wouldn’t know what to do with ME after they were never realized.
‘Who gives two hoots if any or all of those things happen? Who cares?!”
I thought and thought and thought. Thought and realized that I honestly do not give two damns about any of those things, now. Life is just too short.
I want to try.
I want to fail spectacularly so.
I want to uproariously laugh at my spectacular failures.
I want to eat double chocolate chip cookies as I laugh and blog to folk about how royally I messed up this, how grandly I nosedived on that. I want to chuckle about how far I fell, how much it hurt, how wonderful it was just to try.
Now, my heart races, not in fear, but in anticipation. I am no longer afraid.
Ha!
HA!
fixing to mess up some things and not giving two hoots,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Life is short peeps. Get on after it and mess up some things as well. Make it good so you will have some good stories to tell, eh?
Am going to ‘tell the truth and shame the devil’ like mom liked to say….hey mom…*Cassandra waves to mom in heaven*
I had been wrestling, ALL last night, ALL this morning, ALL early afternoon. Wrestling with how to discreetly back my way out of a meeting needing to be had. Had armed myself with this excuse, with that fantastic reason and had let my boss know I didn’t want to meet, after all. My bad. Keep the trains moving and took off, myself.
Thankfully, my boss was/is much smarter than me. Told me ‘let’s talk, anyway’ and said ‘I’d like to know how you really feel’.
Long story short, I was completely honest and said I didn’t know if I could be completely honest, to be completely honest. After being given permission, I WAS honest: completely, totally, transparently. I didn’t look to save their feelings or my own. Just spoke, plainly. Said I didn’t think a thing would be done, that I didn’t think I would be heard, didn’t think what I thought mattered, didn’t think anything would change so why keep beating my head against the wall, that I used to never feel that way and felt bad that I did about this situation.
Longer story shorter, I was heard. So much so that wheels have been set in motion. What’s more, I earned respect, strengthened the relationship and received commitment to things I had not thought of as a possibility.
What if I had given in to fear, discouragement, frustration etc and not met with the boss? Am glad I fought for me, stood up for my decisions and be met, halfway. The outcome now no longer matters. Yes, it will be nice to have things adjusted. If they are not, if things turn out differently then the differently I foresaw, now being promised, I will continue to keep on doing and being me and keeping it moving.
The win was in not giving in to fear, in doing what was right no matter how I felt or how I felt it might be perceived, in ACTING and not letting things slide whilst continuing to be upset and mutter to myself.
I did the thing.
I tried.
I spoke up.
I spoke out.
God and Life stood up for me, with me and I can rest, now. No matter what happens now.
Am trying to turn this current glass of bitter/hard happenings to something enjoyable to drink. Or, at least drink it knowing all things work for my good.
Sometimes, you just have to tell yourself the truth, out loud, so you can keep it moving.
Just HAD to say, out loud, I want to quit my job, pack a bag and drive until I run out of gas.
Can’t do that.
Won’t do that.
Just had to be honest, say how I feel, get out of my feelings, and keep it moving.
Am so over this day I can’t even find a suitable positive saying that will say positively what I would like to say for real. For some reason, there are no kick rocks but life still wonderful ones…hhm…*shrug*…
On the one hand, my mini cinnamon rolls and plain Ruffles were delivered this morning. 🙂
Also, the new season of Billions is absolutely delightful and new series The Endgame has been semi interesting. The fact that the main character appears to be Russian is unfortunate given recent real-life events.
Hang in there, all.
We got this. And, even when we don’t got this we know who does!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 