Month: August 2021

Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.

I am not satisfied.

God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living.

They are right.

The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it.

The good days and the tough days.

The awesome moments and the rough moments.

I want to give myself away.

I want to receive:

From, God.

From, Life.

From, my fellow man.

From, my family.

From, my friends.

Mostly, from, me.

I want to receive:

Love:

Spiritual.

Emotional.

Familial.

Collegial.

Sexual.

I long to have:

A home, on the ocean.

Financial Freedom.

A year’s sabbatical where I do nothing but write, write, write, write, hang out with God and Life, on my ocean home, due to my financial freedom….*sigh*.

I would love all of these things, and a few more, immediately, right now, tomorrow.

There are things I have prayed for, asked for, waited for, longed for, needed.

Prayed and prayed.

Silence.

Rinse.

Repeat.

It is during those times, these current times, times where I can not hear Dad’s Voice, God’s Voice, Life’s Voice, that I ask “Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.”

God and Life are NOT being mean, when They are silent. They ARE working, intently, FOR our good. For, your good. For, my good. Yet, waiting can get awfully hard, can’t it? God’s Silence. Life’s Silence, can feel terrifying close to indifference. Indifference, in turns, then can lead us to feelings of being ‘not enough’. Not enough to be tended to, listened to, ministered to.

It’s important to know the silence is just that. Silence. The work is STILL being done. For, you. For, me.

We just have to hold on, in the meantime. To, His CHARACTER. To, His Deep and Abiding Love. For, you. For, me.

Surely, I am not the only one, in need of a bit of encouragement, Father. Help me, to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice. Help others, to see Your Hand, when they can not hear Your Voice. Give us grace, to face these silent moments. Give us wisdom, to KNOW our words, tears, heartfelt pleas/asks/questions/frustrations/sadnesses have ALL been heard. Amen.

Life is short, beloveds. Don’t allow the silence to get you down. His Love speaks loudly. Listen. Hear.

Be encouraged. As, ever shall I be.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Knowing the why, helps you do the what.

I am a question asker. I work God and Life’s nerves forever asking…

“Why does this do this?”

“Why did that do THAT!?!”

My bro, bless his heart, sent me a Mini Google, and I now spend ENDLESS hours, asking Ok Google THE most ridiculous questions in the wide world. That, and making her endlessly turn lights on and off, the warmer on and off, make her play me songs, movies, on and on. Trust, I could spend another post yakking about my Google Mini….hmm…..*Cassandra makes mental note to post and yak endlessly about her Google Mini*

“Okay, Google. Remind me to remind myself to make a post yakking about you”….*shrug*….don’t judge me!

Oh, yes, I was going on about asking in order to find out the why of the thing. And, yes, I am back to playing with my commas. Someone posted, recently, about writing etiquette and some such. Which now has me being a rebel and putting commas where the hooey I want to put them. :). Kidding, kind of, yall. I shall be kind and allow you to breathe by putting in some commas, here, and there…whew……

In my new position, there are many, many, many things I have to do. So, when they trained us….well, they needed folks, in a hurry, so really didn’t train us in the ‘why’ of what we needed to do. Just the mandate to DO and figure out the why, later.

This led to soooooooooooooooooooooooo much frustration, for me, I put my foot down and advised this was a deal breaker. I need to know the ‘why’ in order to do the ‘what’ well. After a meeting, of the minds, I was redirected to get to the ‘why’ and wherefore of my new position. Whew!!

Lately, I have been pondering on, marinating in, reflecting about, mooning over, WHY, I want the things I want. WHY, I do the things I do. WHY, I long for this. WHY, I daydream about that. It has been:

Necessary.

Discomfiting.

Disconcerting.

Awe-inspiring.

Scary.

Intriguing.

Exciting.

Embarrassing.

Frustrating.

Annoying.

Plus a million other ‘ings, figuring out my WHYs. I highly recommend folk trying this. You may be surprised at what you find out.

Why?

For you to find out….lol….*Cassandra thought this last why was really clever, on her part*…..why? Just cuz…. 🙂

Long story, short? LIfe is so very much easier when one knows why one is doing something. Otherwise, it is much too easy to get swept up and away doing other folks ‘why’. Best to be about doing your own, don’t you think?

For many years, I did the ‘why’ of the world, the ‘why’ of my parents, the ‘why’ of my job. The ‘why’ of…heckamiah I did the ‘why’ of God only knows who/why!?

It feels awfully good to be FREE, to be FULL.

Free, to chase my own ‘why’.

Full, to give of myself in order to help one or two or ten find their way to his/her/their ‘why’.

Why?

Cuz, I love you.

Keep going, beloveds.

We got this.

God and Life has us all.

In His Care and by His Strength,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Do you on YOU!

I love helping folk. Doing for them. Encouraging them. Trying my best to help make their way straight, their day easier, their life just a bit better, if I can.

I spare no expense, think countless hours and efforts are worth it, if it will be of service or help.

Yet, I have found, I don’t, or didn’t, give myself that same effort, care, grace, etcetera that I enthusiastically gave to others.

I put myself last. Rather, put myself in the ‘will get to it’s pile. Only, my turn just never seemed to get to BE my turn.

I had someone else to help. Work took up too much effort and time. Someone else needed the thing more.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Years turned into decades. God and Life would keep reminding me that, um, these years are, in fact, turning into, well, decades, beloved.

God and Life would suggest, ask, encourage me what to do and how to do. For me.

“I will get to it. I will get to me. I will get to Your Will. I just have things I want to DO for You, first.”

I had not the first clue, how I would magically do these masterful things for God and Life. Figured I would figure things out. When I got around to getting around to doing for ME.

Rinse.

Repeat.

*sigh*🤷‍♀️

I can’t tell you what finally made me decide to decide to give ME that same effort, that same care, that same love.

I can tell you why, though. It was The Relentless Love of God, of Dad, for ME. Yes, He said, He loved me loving on folk, helping folk, encouraging folk. He just needed me to start loving on me more, better, relentlessly pursuing me, doing me on me!

It took a while. Still learning how, to be honest.

I am giving ME equal time now. So, I can keep going. In order to keep growing. So, I can continue to keep showing others how to BE, how to LOVE, how to LIVE.

How?

By:

BEing.

LIVEing.

LOVEing:

God.

Life.

You.

Me.

While you are also being, living, and loving, be sure to do you on YOU. Give yourself that same level and care you generously, graciously, relentlessly give to the world.

I am free.

I am full.

I am unapologetically, His.

I remain unapologetically, yours.

I love you, beloveds.

Here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Cry won but that’s okay.
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  • Not TODAY!
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  • Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.
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  • Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.
    Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛. →
  • Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • Even then. Even when. 
    I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when.  →
  • Two things can be true, beloved.
    Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved. →
  • Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM Nobody Was Missing From the Room Beloveds, Can we stop treating being alone like somebody forgot to show up? Sometimes nobody is missing. Sometimes the room has exactly the right number of people in it. One. You. There are people who love being surrounded by people. There are … Continue reading Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • Stuck between two worlds.
    Beloveds, I feel stuck. Stuck between two worlds: Hopeful, yet wondering. Able, yet, hesitant. Joyful, yet, wandering. Stuck in the middle of… New life. Old life. Future life. Nevertheless/however Cassandra lives. Ah, God, why must I be stuck in the middle. I trust You. I’m learning to trust me, too. Thank You for loving me … Continue reading Stuck between two worlds. →
  • Give yourself permission, beloveds.
    Give yourself permission, beloveds. To: Feel. Fear. Cry. Worry. Fret. Fuss. Holler. Howl. Whatever. Whenever. However. Beloveds, it’s important to give yourself permission and room to feel however you feel. Folk ought stop lying 🤥 about how they truly feel. Yesterday, my heart ached. I had to pick up my bifocals and reading glasses 👓  … Continue reading Give yourself permission, beloveds. →
  • Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM When Simple Things Aren’t Simple Anymore Beloveds, Yesterday we talked about missing who you used to be. Tonight, I want to talk about something that can come with that. Sometimes the things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore. Getting out of the house. Going somewhere alone. … Continue reading Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM →

Full.

Full.

I have never been so full, by being emptied, thereby being empty.

In being empty, I am now full.

Full.

Now able.

To:

Fill, others.

Refill, me.

Again.

Full.

Complete.

Lacking nothing, having received all, after emptying all.

To:

Him.

For:

Me.

You.

The world.

Full.

Free.

I shall now ALWAYS be.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Cry won but that’s okay.
    Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay. →
  • Not TODAY!
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  • Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.
    There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home. →
  • Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.
    Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛. →
  • Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • Even then. Even when. 
    I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when.  →
  • Two things can be true, beloved.
    Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved. →
  • Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM
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  • Stuck between two worlds.
    Beloveds, I feel stuck. Stuck between two worlds: Hopeful, yet wondering. Able, yet, hesitant. Joyful, yet, wandering. Stuck in the middle of… New life. Old life. Future life. Nevertheless/however Cassandra lives. Ah, God, why must I be stuck in the middle. I trust You. I’m learning to trust me, too. Thank You for loving me … Continue reading Stuck between two worlds. →
  • Give yourself permission, beloveds.
    Give yourself permission, beloveds. To: Feel. Fear. Cry. Worry. Fret. Fuss. Holler. Howl. Whatever. Whenever. However. Beloveds, it’s important to give yourself permission and room to feel however you feel. Folk ought stop lying 🤥 about how they truly feel. Yesterday, my heart ached. I had to pick up my bifocals and reading glasses 👓  … Continue reading Give yourself permission, beloveds. →

Free.

Free.

No longer, chasing something.

No longer, being chased, by something.

I am free.

From:

Expectation.

Yours.

Mine.

The world’s.

Free.

No longer, pursuing, something.

No longer, being pursued, by something.

I am free.

From:

Fear.

Yours.

Mine.

The world’s.

Free.

I am ready.

To run:

To something.

Not, away from something.

Free.

I am steady.

Strong.

Sure.

Certain.

I am able.

Capable.

Stable.

I will:

Move:

Mountains.

You.

Me.

The world.

Here.

Today.

In this place.

I stand.

Whole.

Humbled.

Free.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Cry won but that’s okay.
    Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay. →
  • Not TODAY!
    Fear. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Hopeless. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not. Not TODAY! Desperate. Not. ✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Disheartened. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Discouraged. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY! Today  I planned something fun for 6p. Health said, Nah Fam, refusing to release it’s grip, on my numb left hand. Leaving me: Stuck in bed, … Continue reading Not TODAY! →
  • Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.
    There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home. →
  • Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.
    Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛. →
  • Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM →
  • Even then. Even when. 
    I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when.  →
  • Two things can be true, beloved.
    Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved. →
  • Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM
    Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM Nobody Was Missing From the Room Beloveds, Can we stop treating being alone like somebody forgot to show up? Sometimes nobody is missing. Sometimes the room has exactly the right number of people in it. One. You. There are people who love being surrounded by people. There are … Continue reading Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM →