Month: July 2023

I am not strong: At this spot.

This photo, of me sitting on my baby, Cherry, is very precious to me.

It’s also bittersweet.

It’s the weekend I went home after several years to say goodbye, to one of my big bros, who had passed away.

It was soooooooo good, to be home.

It was sooooooo sad, the reason FOR going.

For his home-going, as black folk like to call funerals: Going home. I guess, this is supposed to be a comforting notion. It is, later. Not, initially.

Anywho, I love this picture as I was FINALLY able to get to my favorite spot. I love, love, love this spot.

Our family spent many a day, at this spot.

I talked, incessantly, to God, at this spot.

I kissed a gent, I loved dearly, at this spot.

I dreamed, many dreams, of which I chase, still, at this spot.

I cried, many a tear, at this spot.

I walked, many a mile, at this spot.

I laughed at/with mom/dad, at this spot.

I gave up, at this spot.

I began, again, at this spot.

I sang, many a song, at this spot.

I long to return, soon, to this spot.

Memories.

Ah.

Aha!

Isn’t it good, beloveds, to return, in our hearts, to a spot?

Life is short. Don’t forget to return to your spot, from time to time. Do not NOT return because of the reason, for the return to your spot…lol.

Growing up, is never easy. It’s easy to forget about the good spots. We tend to focus on the tough ones.

Take care of you, beloveds. I have to go. I want to go sit at my spot.

Remember alway:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I love you. More than you know.

Love someone.

Start with you.

I am not strong: My heart is loud, today.

I started a series, called ‘I am not strong’.

Truth be told, beloveds, the series started ME.

Within, me.

FROM, me.

From deep, within me.

It has me shaken, this statement, to my core:

I am not strong.

This statement, so bold, so quiet, so earth-shattering, brutally, life- changingly, more importantly, honest, has changed the way I look at everything.

Including, me.

Especially, me.

Which leads me, beloveds, to turn to you and say:

You are not strong.

You were NEVER meant to be.

God and Life, have ALWAYS desired for you to have helpmates, along your life-long journey. It’s why They watch your back EVER moment of EVERY day. Silently. Loudly. Proudly.

The Universe, has ALWAYS desired for you to have a posse, to ride or die, with you. It’s why it keeps you chasing your dreams. Frustrating you enough to keep you walking towards life and others. In hot pursuit. Of who/what? Ah. Aha! Keep asking.

Jesus, Your Bestie, has ALWAYS desired for you to have a Friend, to ride AND die, for you, to be with you your whole life-long. It’s why He gave His life, on a cross, for you.

Which brings me back, to me.

I am not strong.

Which leads me back, to YOU, beloveds.

You are not strong.

We are weak.

THEY are strong, for us.

Lean, upon them.

Lean, upon me.

May I, lean upon you?

I started this blog, years ago, to lead me to these pieces.

God helped me find and restore ME, within each piece. EVERY piece, leads me closer, still.

Closer to, what?

Closer to Whom?

Ah.

Aha!

Great question(s).

Keep, asking.

Keep, growing.

Keep, reaching:

For, love.

For, joy.

For, inspiration.

For, healing.

For, fellowship.

For, strength.

For, love.

For, Love.

For, God.

For, Life.

For, YOU!

The Universe, hears you.

The Universe, calls you.

The Universe, waits for you.

here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

I am not strong: Walk with me.

I started walking, recently.

I’ve also, recently, started uploading small snippets, of encouragement, on Instagram, to encourage folk.

Mind you, I have NO idea about tagging this, embedding that. Absolutely, NO clue how to upload, download, Thread, whatever the heck THAT is. I don’t even know how or where my small snippets of cheer ARE in the Instagram universe.

So what?

I’m trying, anyway.

Anywho, I have started walking for those who can’t walk for whatever reason.

Some have, lost hope.

Some have, lost faith.

Some are lost, period.

Some have, given up.

Some have, given out.

Some are, afraid.

Some are, angry.

Some are, discouraged.

Some are, alone.

Some are, grieving.

Some are, working.

Some are, going through.

Some have, gone through.

All are, soul tired.

I am also, soul tired. I am still sitting with ‘I am not strong’. She stares at me. Silent. Loud. There. I listen.

In the meantime, beloveds, walk with me. Walking, for someone else, shall strengthen you, also.

Ready?

Set?

Let’s go!

walking with/for you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: Ehem, my inbox is still waiting, people. Get it together. 🤣🙏

The Universe is my oyster.

The Universe is my oyster.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: Folks are forever chasing things, clicks, likes and the like. Terribly sad. Most are wandering around, feeling unloved, unseen, unheard and unlike themselves. They try to turn themselves into someone else, ANYONE else. They fear they will never be quite enough, on their own. They are. YOU are.

God made this life for you to enjoy. Made it so you could love and BE loved. The Universe was meant to be your oyster. Not things. Things come. Things go. What remains?

Great question.

Keep asking.

Put down, your dukes.

Open up, your heart.

Let love in.

Let light in.

Enjoy every single moment, second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year!

Breathe.

Deeply.

Turn down the noise.

Slow down.

Stop.

Listen.

Look.

SEE.

Do you see?

Ah.

Aha!

No manner of jewels can hide a wounded/broken heart.

The Universe is your oyster. What does this mean? Ask. He shall speak.

Listen.

The universe is my posse.

I am my own, best friend.

I am my own, supporter.

I am my own, encourager.

I have had to be.

Folks said I was ‘strong’, therefore, folks kept themselves, well, to themselves…*shrug*.

Yet, I have ALWAYS longed for, my posse. My group. My folk who would be my ‘ride or die’ my whole life long.

I wait, still. It used to bother me. It bothers me, still. My soul, has been restless, yearning, for MY posse. I KNOW it is out there. I know it. I always have.

I tried to go it, alone. I really did. Yet, God and Life were, and are, whispering to me that my posse, awaits. I have wanted to tell Them to go on ahead and kick some rocks. I HAVE said the same. My heart, though, has known my posse is out there, THERE, somewhere.

When I wrote ‘Taking Applications’,..hmm…that piece just did something for me, beloveds. That, piece. Smh. THAT piece! It made me get all up in my own face. It made me challenge my dreams, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams.

Did I REALLY BELIEVE the universe was out there, FOR me.

For, ME?!

Yea, I do.

Beloveds, once I said ‘I do’, the universe appears to have married me!

Ah.

Aha!

The Universe: My Posse.

All along.

God knew this.

Life knew this.

Now, I, dearly beloveds, KNOW this.

This knowledge is why I now consider the wide world, my posse. Whosoever will, will. As for the rest? Beats me. I shall love them, still.

Still.

The more I open my heart, to God, to Life, to the universe, to the world, to folk seen and unseen, the more me loves me. And, the more me loves me, the more I can love others. Rinse. Repeat.

Wonderful.

The bible says ‘This is the day the Lord hath made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it’. Every day. EVERY day. Every DAY. Be glad, in the day. Rejoice, in the day. Let God love you, in the day. Let Life love you, in the day. Let the universe be your posse. We are here for you. Be encouraged.

here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette3y@yahoo.com

The universe: I am the world’s posse.

I am an encourager.

Always have been. Always will be.

Yet, since opening my heart, to the universe, I find that I am living my life, and encouraging folk, to live, with me.

I no longer stand on the side lines, cheering them on. Now, I, simply, with intentions, run MY race, encouraging others, to put on THEIR shoes, and join me.

I call out to the whole wide world. No longer, do I wait to see, who shall join me. I simply, run.

I run!

Ah.

Aha!

The bible says, he who desires a friend, must FIRST show himself friendly.

I am here, beloveds. Best you take full advantage, of my friendship. The train is fixing to leave the station. There are only but so many seats. Don’t get mad at me, beloveds, if someone has stolen YOUR seat.

Know this, beloveds, if your eyes have read ANY piece of mine, you have been prayed for for 46 years. This is no exaggeration. I have been praying that God opens doors and way for me to encourage folk He brings into my path.

Life is so very short. Life is not about gathering things. Those things shall wither and be gone. What remains, beloveds, of your day(s)? How much love have you squeezed out of EVERY moment?

I am tired, now, because I stay up as long as I can in order to enjoy the day. Whatever the day brings, I am enjoying it. The heat. The tired. The lonely. The, hard. The, silence. The, unknown. The, failure. The, losing. The winning. The, chores. The, walking. The gasping. The, grasping.

The past week, I have had many a hard conversation(s), with my now grown siblings. With a few of them, anyway. I have been letting them in. I have been apologizing/repenting for this, that, the other. It has felt good. It has been hard. It has been needed.

If you find your eyes, beloveds, reading these words, KNOW this:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Let others know they are not alone. Folks are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo lonely. It hurts knowing this. They were not meant to be alone/lonely. God loves them. Life loves them. I love them. Help me love on folk, would you please? I begin, with you. Be encouraged.

here alway,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Real talk: Who walks for me?

My work systems went down, half hour before my shift. I tried everything. So much so my supervisor told me they would clock out for me.

I clocked out.

It was an extremely rewarding/satisfying shift. Before work, I prayed to God and asked the universe, to allow me to be a shoulder, a heart, arms, an ear to encourage someone.

As soon as I was able to boot up my system, one of my supervisors asked if I would like to spend the day helping newly trained agents.

I had a blast.

I encouraged.

I laughed.

I sang.

I was fully ME.

Ah.

Aha!

Then, I started working on a piece called ‘I am not alone: Who walks for me?’

???

!!!

The question reverberated.

To, my heart.

Within, my soul.

To the depths of all that made me, me.

The world grew silent.

I grew silent.

Still.

Wondering.

Wondering.

Wondering.

“Who walks for me?”

I did not do as I normally would have.

I did not:

Crawl, onto The Father’s Lap.

Talk, with Jesus about it.

Write, about it.

Turn the television on, to be distracted, from it.

Ask myself, about it.

My wombie called to check on my chicklets. I shared with her, just a bit, about it.

Then, I did the hard thing:

I turned off the phone.

I sat with it.

To see what it would do/say.

At first, her voice was super quiet.

“Who walks for me?”

The silence, grew defeaning. This angered, the universe, who also chimed in…

“Who walks for me?”

This saddened, The Father, who lovingly, chimed in…

“Who walks for me?”

This caused, a clap of ⚡ thunder, as Jesus, with His 👑 Crown in His Nail-Scarred Hand, chimed in

“Who walks for me?”

This caused my big sis, who ALWAYS has my back and walks with me, two begins style, to chime in…

“Who walks for me?”

This galvanized, my wombie, who staunchly chimed in…

“Who walks for me?”

This made my big brothers act all big brotherly, who chimed in…

“Who walks for me?”

This made my heart, Candace, lovingly stand beside me, chime in…

“Who walks for me?”

“WHO walks for me?”

“Who WALKS for me?”

“Who walks FOR me?”

“Who walks for ME?”

“WHO WALKS FOR ME?!”

The sounds, of my heart/mind/soul/spirit, shook the very foundations, of heaven.

“I, WILL! I, DO!”

“I, WILL! I, DO!”

“I, WILL! I, DO!”

“I, WILL! I, DO!”

“I, WILL! I, DO!”

In one voice, as one chorus, they all encamped around, my heart. Rest, they said, in unison. We shall walk for you.

Ah.

Aha!

I rest.

sitting with it still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: I think I am ready, beloveds, to finish my piece. Perhaps the piece is still writing me. I shall sit with her, my heart, with this question, to see what they shall say. I listen. Quietly. Reverently. Respectfully. Joyfully. Hopefully. Lovingly. Without, distraction. Here. Present. Patiently.

One step.

One step.

One step.

I am not strong: Universe, where are my dreams?

I am 54, Universe.

I lifetime, of old.

Where, are my dreams?

Have I not knocked, on the right door(s)?

Have I not knocked, loud enough?

Have I not knocked, long enough?

I am not strong.

I am 54, Universe.

Where, are my dreams?

Have I not given all, of me?

Have I not given all, You need, of me?

Have I not given all, of me, that I know?

I am 54, Universe.

Where, are my dreams?

What must I do?

What must I be?

Who must I see?

Who must see me?

I am not strong.

I am 54, Universe.

Carrying unfulfilled dreams is:

Hard.

Frustrating.

Maddening.

Saddening.

Agonizing.

I am no longer apologizing, Universe.

For not being enough for:

You.

Others.

Me.

I have ALWAYS been enough for:

God.

Life.

You.

Others.

Me.

I shall keep asking:

Persistently.

Patiently.

Hopefully.

Joyfully.

Resiliently.

I have to.

My dreams just won’t let me go.

My dreams, chase me, pursue me, in the daylight.

I am tired.

I am not strong.

I am 54, Universe.

Give.

Give up my bounty.

waiting still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: You don’t have to be strong. You DO have to be persistent. Don’t give up, beloveds. Not yet. Not quite yet. Keep asking until. Until when? Until, you no longer have to ask. did you really need to ask?….lol.

I walked for the strong, today.

If you are strong, I walked for YOU, today.

See, folk don’t walk for us, eh, strong you? They don’t know. We are strong, ONLY because we have to be.

We are:

Leaned, on.

Counted, on.

Relied, upon.

Yet, who do WE, lean on?

Who can WE, count on?

Who can WE, rely on?

As I put on my new kicks, I kicked myself into gear.

Time, to walk, for the strong.

Lean, upon me, strong one.

Rest your head, just a bit, upon my shoulder.

I got you.

God and Life has me.

Then, once you have caught your breath, perhaps I can lean upon you, just a tad, eh?

For, I tire, also.

Today, I walked for all the strong. They need a moment, just a few moments, to be weak.

In their weakness, they shall find strength. In, faith. In, Life. Hopefully, in/with God.

Be encouraged, strong one. I shall not tell your secret, okay?

What secret?

Ah.

Aha!

walking for the tired, er, strong today,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: Be encouraged. My heart won’t be quiet. Folk are hurting. That I could relieve EVERY burden. I can’t. I know Who can. He waits…

Sometimes, you have to shut your up, up!

“Shut, up”

“What about YOUR part?”

“Where were YOU?”

“This is what he/she was going through, at the time…”

When Jesus, shows up, and advocates for someone, due to your carrying on about YOUR hurt/hard feelings, it has a way of making you tell your ‘up’ to shut it.

Meaning, shut up!

Yea, boy, when Jesus brings HIS Compassion, into a situation, well, it kinda makes you want to tell The Father, “my bad, I sowwy. I can see now why he/she/they did or said what they did. I understand, Father, why they did or did not do.”

No, it does not dismiss or diminish what has happened. But, it does help you bring empathy and compassion in order to bring healing and restoration, to the situation, to the circumstances, to the relationship, to the job, to the business, to the friendship, to the marriage, to the church, to the community.

Life is hard. Loving folk can be hard. It requires putting someone else’s need ahead of your own, at times.

Sometimes, you just have to tell your up to shut it. Meaning, shut your mouth and STOP making the situation worse. Yes, he/she/they did or said something not helpful. So, perhaps, did you.

Life is short. The relationship is much more important than your hurt pride, your hurt feelings, your this and your that.

I do my best now, to tell myself to shut up, whenever I feel the need to be right. I don’t want to be right. I want to keep my act right acting right.

Shut it, Cassandra.

I will.

I sowwy.

Life is short. Be willing to shut your mouth and open your heart and arms.

shutting it with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

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