Fulfillment: It’s a YOU problem.

Fulfillment is on YOUR raquet. It’s a YOU problem.

Your job, does NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. Your job gives you a paycheck. Hopefully, you enjoy what you do, do your best and find fulfillment in your try, in building relationships with your peers and leadership.

Your family, does NOT owe you their lives to fulfill your every hope, dream, wish and demand. Yes, your fam is there to love, support and protect you as best they can and as much as you will allow them to do so. Yet, once you have grown, of legal age, it is up to YOU to get and keep some act right in order to find fulfillment. This is YOU life. Your family owes you nothing. They love you because, well, just because they love you. When/if you get to acting ten kinds of fools they are perfectly free to kick you to the curb until your act right has gotten it’s act right.

God does NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. YOU must participate in a relationship with Him and grow your faith. He is NOT your concierge, Santa, butler, or maid.

Life does NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. YOU must climb those mountains. YOU must remove those mountains one pebble at a time. YOU must tell Life what you need and ask for assistance in getting what you need/desire/want. YOU must keep keeping on even after your keeping on has long since left you.

Your friends do NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. Yes, they walk with you. Yes, they support you. Yes, they give what they can when they have it to give. Your friends do NOT owe it to you to be your life raft. They give as they can. And, when they don’t have the time or energy it’s not on them or you. You love each other. Period. End of story. For as long as you both shall live or can live with or without one another.

Fulfillment: It’s a YOU problem.

Too many folk are forever disappointed or angry or all manner of things with God, with Life, with jobs, with friends, with family…

All because of having expectancy, having expectations that outside forces will content them on the inside.

Life is short. Time for us, all of us, to own our own stuff. Time for us, all of us, to get some act right and get to filling our own jars. Yes, it is wonderous when others fill up some of our empty spaces. In the meantime, the main person responsible for our fulfillment.

Get to filling.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Let Him have it.

Let Him have it.

When your heart is troubled.

Let HIM have it.

When you have experienced one too many boo boos, let HIM have it.

Okay, I don’t mean let Him have it as in….kapow.

Although….

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Just kidding.

This morning, I was ready to let somebody or something have it. I was thinking ‘enough already!’ about life continually being, well, life.

The every day sameness and what in the fresh hell is all this going on and why is THAT not going on and why is THIS STLL GOING ON was about enough to send me up ten walls. Being too tired to climb said walls, I talked to my wombie, instead.

Unapologetically, openly, I shared my heart and frustrations. Then, we both climbed up in The Father’s Lap and told Him all about our problems.

Then, we LEFT THEM WITH HIM!

Life seems to be about that life cutting up and acting a fool life, here lately. Costs are getting higher, nerves appear to be more frayed, folks seem to be growing less hopeful and more hopeless.

Storms come.

Storms pass.

They do, beloveds.

HOW we survive and thrive AFTER the storm, is the whole point. It’s the ENTIRETY of the ball game.

If the enemy, doubts, fears, circumstances, situations and a million other things you could state, can continually keep you unbalanced, unhappy and pointing fingers every which way…smh…

How and WHEN will you ever truly be content?

Answer:

YOU NEVER WILL!

Be, content.

In, ALL things.

No, it’s not easy.

Yet, it IS possible.

Have a fit. Ten, if it helps. Then, get up off the canvas and list all the things you do have. There is zero you can do about what you don’t currently have. Why keep going around that woe is my why don’t I have yet mountain. Leave there!

Instead, skip around the mountains of faith, hope, love, joy, friendship and all the other mountains you currently have, in your life.

Life is short.

Let Him have it.

Give your problems to Him.

He cares.

He will take care of things and you.

You got this.

I got this.

God and Life has got us all.

You can do this.

You CAN.

You WILL.

Be encouraged.

Stop giving yourself such a hard time.

You are doing all that you know.

That is enough.

Let it be enough.

I appreciate these hard times. Even the disappointing ones. Even the frustrating ones. Each time, each difficult time, keeps me fighting. For, me. For, my dreams. For, the love I want to have in my life. For, my peace of mind.

Keep fighting.

I love me some you.

fighting with you alway,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I’m trying.

I’m trying.

‘Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have come to the place, finally, where I am okay, with not knowing. Okay, with not having the right answers. Okay, with not having any answers. And, that makes me okay. All you can do is ALL you can do. Love as much as you can, as many as you can, for as long as you can. We only get this one go around. While you are ‘getting it’ be sure to get on with it. Love someone. Starting with you. You got this as do I.

I wander no more.

I wander no more.

What a wonder.

I no longer wander, aimlessly, wondering where I fit, who I fit with, why I don’t fit.

I wander no more.

I no longer roam, tirelessly, seeking a group to call my own.

I wander no more.

I no longer rush about, looking for love in people, in places, in things.

I no longer wander.

I no longer look for myself in my efforts, in my job, in what I have, in what I do not have.

I no longer wander.

I am now:

Settled.

Stablished.

Secure.

In, Him.

In, Life.

In, me.

All the rest, as they say, will come out in the wash.

I have yet ONE life to live.

I shall live it.

I SHALL live it with INTENTION.

I shall love in it.

I shall love INTENTIONALLY.

I shall hope in it.

I shall allow my yipppppeeees to yippppee as long and as loud as they like.

I shall rejoice.

I shall remain hopeful no matter what comes, what is here, or what decides to leave my life.

Yes, wander no more do I.

I am satisfied.

With me.

That, beloveds, is more than enough.

Be encouraged.

You are loved.

As am I.

gloriously here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I wonder no more.

I wonder no more.

What a wonder!

Amazing.

My heart is now still.

My heart

I no longer wonder if I am loved.

I KNOW I am.

I no longer wonder if I am received.

I KNOW I am.

I no longer wonder if I am cherished.

I KNOW I am.

I no longer wonder if God loves me.

I KNOW that He does.

I no longer wonder if Life will open It’s door for me if I only keep knocking.

I KNOW It will.

I no longer wonder if I can do it.

I KNOW I can.

I no longer wonder if I can make my dreams come true.

I KNOW I will.

I no longer wonder if I will be loved by man.

I KNOW my fam loves me.

I KNOW God loves me.

I KNOW I love me.

I KNOW Jesus loves me.

I KNOW my wombie loves me.

I KNOW my siblings love me.

I KNOW my podmate loves me.

I KNOW my accountability partners love me.

I no longer wonder if my worth is tied up in my efforts.

I KNOW it is not.

I no longer wonder if I will be loved even when I fail.

I KNOW I will be loved even when I fail.

I no longer wonder if God will love me even when I fall.

I KNOW God will and does love me ESPECIALLY when I fall.

I no longer wonder if I will be received.

I KNOW God and Life receives me as does those who truly care about my life.

I no longer wonder why.

I no longer wonder if I will fail.

I KNOW I will fail. Yet, I will rise, again.

I no longer wonder why.

I KNOW life happens to all and that I WILL be alright.

I no longer wonder if there is a significant other out there for me.

I KNOW the life I live, right NOW, is already significant. If God and Life adds someone significant, wonderful. If not, I am truly enjoying my relationship with Jesus, sitting in The Father’s Lap, enjoying long yaks with my wombie, with my big bros, with my big sis, texting with my work children, exploring all that makes me me and a million other people, places and things that makes my life, well, significant.

I wonder no more.

content,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Decaf and me.

Smh.

Dare I speak of the utter Kuerig tragedy and share the past days anxt of NO coffee!…*gasp*.

No, I dare not speak of these horrors. Nope, won’t go there about the many tantrums I have thrown. I will NOT admit to trying to use a paper towel as a filter and put too little coffee grounds in too much water therefore grounding my old school way of having to actually make a dumb cup of coffee using old school coffee grounds and a stupid paper towel for a stupid dumb filter I have a million of and can’t remember where I put the dumb things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.

There is ZERO chance I will admit that I finally cried uncle and put in an emergency coffee order. I ordered, or so I thought, I jar of Folgers Instant. First thing on the list, or so I thought. Humming through my day, knowing my coffee-less life would have coffee, come 3 pm delivery time, I sang and danced my way through the work day.

Fast forward to lunch, yippppeeeeeeeeeeeeee, delivery time. Singing tralalala gaily through the living room, I flounced and bounced my way to the kitchen. Dramatically, I gleefully refilled half empty sugar and creamer cannisters. Heckamiah Jeremiah I even brought out my clear saucer and fave coffee mug so I could enjoy my coffee. Finally!!

3 pm found an expected knock at the door. Flinging other groceries this way and that I dug my way through my goodie bags ready to pounce on the goodness of my Folgers Instant….hhmm.

Huh.

What?

What?????!!!

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

*Wails of agony wended themselves towards heaven as Cassandra realized everything came but the cofffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so now I have to tell on myself, beloveds. Don’t tell okay? I don’t want to tarnish my fabulous image…lol.

It had been on me to switch to decaf for a bit. I kept telling God, Life, me and all who would listen I would switch, soon. Apparently, my soon was not soon enough. Rather, not soon enough for Life. One broken Kuerig, one grocery order arriving sans Folgers Instant, one quiet sentence from big sis of ‘maybe you are not supposed to be drinking regular coffee right now’ and one ‘uncle’ from me got me stomping into the kitchen to brew a half pot of DECAF!…*horrified gasp*.

Yet, Life allowed the dumb coffee filters to come but not the Folgers Instant. I was not going to get a Can of Folgers as was going to get another Kuerig so no need wasting money when I now have a million useless kpods…smh.

Moral of the story?

Listen to the still small voice and don’t be hardheaded so Life has to snatch the life from your Kuerig…*pout*.

listening finally,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart. Don’t be afraid to try those dreams that have been scaring you half to death. Don’t be afraid of your age. If young, your age is the best weapon you have. If older, your age is the best weapon you have! You got this. Life is short. Say. Live. Love.

Why do you care?

Why do you care?

WHY do you care?

Why do YOU care?

Why do you CARE?

I have been asking myself these questions for 54 years….*shrug*.

Will probably be asking this same question 46 years from now…*shrug*.

I just know that I do.

And, I just want you to know that I care about you, beloveds.

Why should YOU care, you ask?

*shrug*…heck if I know. I just do.

Not sure if MY care means anything to YOU.

I just know that YOUR LIFE MATTERS TO ME.

‘Nuff said.

Maybe, if more folks cared about others as me this world be as divided and acting a fool the way that it is.

I have a question for YOU, beloveds.

Why do you care?

WHY do you care?

Why do YOU care?

Why do you CARE?

The answer to these questions may change your life. The answer to these questions may help you change my life. The answer to these questions may help you change the lives of countless of others. Starting with your own.

In case no one has told you today:

I love you.

You are loved.

You are precious.

You are priceless.

Your life was worth the death of a King.

Easter is coming. He gave so that you might have.

Be encouraged.

You are NOT alone.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Dirty dishes: Your habits will tell on you.

My dishes have been in limbo, the past few days.

They are either rinsed and ready to be put in the dishwasher. Or, found sitting in hot sudsy water waiting to be handwashed. Sadly, the hot sudsy water finds itself turned into cold, pitiful, no longer sudsy icky goo I ain’t sticking my hands in….*shiver*.

So, I find myself dumping out said ew, either starting AGAIN…*sigh*…with hot sudsy water, determined to get these blasted things washed. Only, to turn back into cold, pitiful, I ain’t sticking my hands in that cold grey matter ooze.

To make matters worse, now the dishes have really piled up as of course I have eaten and added more dirty dishes to the pile.

Our habits, though, will tell on us. Thankfully, I have been cultivating and making out with good habits. Have kicked my old lover, old habits, to the curb. Alas, old habits are hard to break. Or, so they try and tell me.

Yet, even old habits can be helpful. Their re-entry signals that something may, and is, amiss. After sitting down and having a super long chat with old habits, we both agreed that I was covering up missing my mom and hiding in an old familiar cave of “suck it up buttercup”. Decided to leave the cave and give myself permission and space to just…miss her.

Not in a melancholy way. But, a she sure was fun and a good person kind of way. I let sad join me and grief and we shared some tears, some laughs, some decaf(another story for another post) and had a good time. So much so that Jesus brought mom and we all had some great laughs.

Then, new habits and I did what was needed:

Took out the trash.

Washed the dishes.

Exercised a bit.

Wrote a bit.

Chillaxed a bit.

A bit, at a time, I found my heart warming, once again. Basking, in the sunlight of honesty, tears, truth, trust, hope and love.

Trust, in God. Trusting enough to share how much life was hurting.

Trust, in Life. Trusting enough to let Life know how much not being able to do as my heart longs to do was hurting.

Trust, in ME. Trusting enough to let myself be honest with my heart, with myself. Trusting enough to admit that I was already in the dark place and space I was desperately trying to work away, distract away, sleep away, all manner of away. Until, I allowed myself to speak the truth outloud:

Father, I am in a dark place. I am in a dark space. I don’t know how. I don’t know what. I don’t know when. Not knowing is the problem. Yet, You are The Answer.

*Cassandra climbs down from The Father’s Lap, after having shared her heart, and got on with the getting on of life*

What’s the moral of the story, you ask?

You tell me. I don’t have time. I have dishes to wash. Let me know your thoughts, eh?

rejoicing even in grief,

Cassandra

P.S. I love you mom. I miss you. Be well, my queen….*sigh*.

Note: Don’t allow hard times, sad times, mad times, or any other times to keep you from keeping on. Keep doing you. Rest, when you need to. Cry, when you need to. Be sure and pack plenty of joy, though, in your day. We get but one go around this joint called life. Live. Love. Laugh. I love me some you. Love me back, wouldja please/thanks? Asking for a Friend.

Wait: Part II.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

“I will”

*Cassandra turns away from the mirror and gets on with getting on with it.*

Waiting can be sooooooooooooo:

Frustrating!

Need I say more?!

Ack!

Waiting, sans coffee can be soooooooo:

Frustrating!

*stamps foot*

I feel like my now defunct Kuerig:

Empty.

Non-functioning.

Useless.

I have all these kpods, now homeless. Angrily, my kpods stare at me wondering what they are supposed to do now?!

*Cassandra shrugs and tells the kpods they appear to be in the same waiting boat as she*

I would dearly love to wax poetic and write cleverly about how the kpods are a metaphor to life.

However, the urge to toss the now useless kpods out the window is over powering the need to be poetic and encouraging.

Thinking of the now defunct Kuerig, Cassandra’s brow furrowed in frustration. Which led to arms flinging themselves upon Cassandra’s hips. Not to be outdone, Cassandra’s head haughtily lifted itself to show it’s displeasure.

*Not wanting to get into more trouble, Cassandra hastily borrowed fingers and tapped out an emergency instant coffee ☕ order.*

Outraged by the thought of instant coffee, Cassandra’s palette decided to go on strike.

LOL.

That said, waiting patiently is important.

Waiting patiently is crucial.

Anxious waiting only leads to anxiety and gives doubts access to ALL of your piece of mind.

While you wait for whatever it is you are waiting for:

Live.

Love.

Laugh.

Be encouraged.

You have come far from where you were.

We shall get there.

Enjoy the journey.

Even the frustrating parts.

Especially the coffee-less frustrating parts.🤣

laughing with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Wait: Part I.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

“I will”.

*Cassandra climbed down from The Father’s Lap and went about her day*

It sure can be hard to wait.

Even more, it can be agonizing to wait PATIENTLY.

Yet, it’s important.

To wait.

Patiently.

Waiting anxiously is simply a waste of time.

Time WILL pass.

The wait SHALL end.

How shall YOU be AFTER the season of waiting?

I have NO idea, Cassandra whispered to her heart.

Keep trying, her heart replied.

I will.

waiting,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe