The game, is, a foot.
I don’t give the first good damn.
I TOLD, God, I was NOT, ready.
I told, Life, I was just not, ready.
I told her, I am not ready, to face you, to face THAT Anger, THAT moment, at THIS moment.
How, can I do THIS moment, when I couldn’t do THAT moment?
Dammit.
Damn, me. For:
Damning me, to a lifetime, of running.
Running, from:
THAT anger.
THAT moment.
God.
Life.
Myself.
Opportunity.
You.
Jaybird, wants to fly. She, is Free. She, is the one who:
Kicks it, with Yikes! and Egads!
Dances, in her undies.
Dines, on double chocolate chip muffins, with The King.
Prays, relentlessly.
Jaybird, is relentlessly:
Optimistic.
Persistent.
Consistent.
Jaybird, that part, of me, that keeps, me, in trouble.
Jaybird, refuses to, give up:
On, God.
On, Life.
On, opportunity.
On, you.
On, me.
Jaybird, loves, us all. She just wants, us, whole. She, just wants, us, free.
Jaybird, is desperate to, get free, sadly, from me.
I, sadly, am her jailer. THAT anger, THAT moment, are mine.
THAT anger, and I, have our truce. I, Cassandra, long to:
Break, the treaty, with THAT anger.
Live, not survive.
Fly, straight.
Fly, free.
Fly, at all…😥
THAT anger, won’t allow escape from:
THAT moment.
Guilt.
Grief.
Shame.
Anger.
To face, THIS moment, and FINALLY, dear God, finally, deal with this, put to bed, forever, my:
Guilt.
Grief.
Shame.
Anger.
Jaybird, strains, to get free. She is desperate, restless, relentless. She is fighting, hard now, to get free.
She knows, I have grown weary, of carrying, the weight, of:
THAT anger.
THAT moment.
Guilt.
Grief.
Shame.
Anger.
Jaybird, grieves, deeply. For, my broken pieces. For, your broken pieces.
These ‘prayer stones’, I hold in my hands, may as well be, broken pieces, of me.
My spirit, flies, with Jaybird. My spirit, is free. My spirit, grieves, with Jaybird, for this, broken heart, called me.
I fight:
The night.
THAT anger.
THAT moment.
God.
Life.
Her.
Me.
Jaybird.
God: Let Jaybird go, Beloved. I have need, of her. I need, you, also.
Me: I can’t, let her go. You, ALWAYS, allow her to get me in trouble.
Life: Let Jaybird go, my friend. I have need, of her. I need you, also.
Me: I can’t, let her go. Her flight, is just too painful, to watch. She is my reminder that I am still grounded. She, lives. I, survive.
Her: Let Jaybird go, my friend. Forgive, yourself. Forgive, me. You were, but a young thing. How, could you know, your choice, in THAT moment, would leave you, forever angry/tormented, in THIS moment.
Forgive,you. I have, long ago. I forgave you. In THAT moment. I, forgive you, in THIS moment. God and Life have need, of her. Other broken pieces, need you, also.
Me: 😥💔
THAT Anger: You had not better let Jaybird go. You will cause me to burn down your world. You can not begin to contain me. You were, are wise, to have made the truce with me.
Me: Damn, you😡. Damn, me.💔
THAT moment: Let Jaybird go, Cassandra. THAT anger, WILL surely burn down your world, if you do not allow Jaybird to go free.
Is it not time, to deal with THAT anger, with me? Is it not time? To forgive yourself?
You were young. Youth is wasted, on the young. You could never have known your choice, that one choice, in that one moment, would leave you, with me, all these long days, years, moments. Forgiveness, will free you, from me. I want, to see you, flying, with Jaybird. I want, you free, of me, THAT moment.
I was never meant, to live this long. Deal with God. Deal with Life. Deal with her. Deal with you. Deal with me, so you can help other Jaybird’s to deal with their own, moments with me.
Me: Being bound, by THAT anger, I fitting punishment, for me. I don’t DESERVE to be free, of you. I failed her, in that moment. In, that moment, I failed, me. I can not, live with THAT knowledge.
I am, tired of this fight, with you. I long to, be free. Of:
Guilt.
Grief.
Shame.
Anger.
Jesus: Let Jaybird go, Beloved. I have need, of her. I need, you, also.
Me: How, can You, need me? My choice, in THAT moment, holds me prisoner, in THIS moment.
How, can this be, Your Forgiveness, be for ME? In THAT moment, I allowed, THAT anger, to caused me, to make the choice not to forgive her, to not forgive, me.
In, not forgiving her, I turned away, from her. In turning, away from her, in her moment of need, I damned, me.
Jaybird: Let me go. God, Life, other Jaybirds, you, have need of me. I need you, also.
I need to take your broken pieces, to The Cross. I need to meet My Lord, there. Easter is coming.
The Father, cries.
Heaven, is sad.
Time, grows nigh.
Release me, beloved. Help me, to release, you.
ALLOW, God, Life, Jesus access. To, your broken pieces, to, your broken, heart.
Your broken pieces, your broken heart, have already been forgiven, long ago.
On a Cross, on a Hill, Your Savior, took care, of ALL moments, there.
Forgive, live, love, Cassandra. Let me, Jaybird, go. Help me, Cassandra. Help me, get others, to take their broken pieces, their broken hearts, to The Cross. We must, hurry. Our Lord, awaits us there.
I will, try. Meet me at…
Angry, still.
Cassandra
P.S. We, ALL of us, have moments, circumstances, situations of regret. We, ALL of us, struggle with past issues, of some sort or another.
We, ALL of us, have made wrong choices, dumb choices, hard choices, unmeaning choices, unthinking choices. Choices, that have cost us love, opportunity, growth.
We, all of us, are doing the best we can. It’s time, don’t you think?
Time, to:
Forgive, ourselves.
Forgive, one another.
Allow, God to forgive us?
How long, must we, punish ourselves for: wrong choices, dumb choices, hard choices, unmeaning choices, unthinking choices?
As I write/work on Angry, still, how about you dealing with, writing about, preparing your own ‘Angry, still’s?
Aren’t you? Angry? Still? Let’s end, this war, these wars, together. I am taking my broken pieces, my broken heart, to The Only One, who can mend, them. Who can mend, me:
Jesus.
In rising, He gathered ALL of our moments. He set ALL of us free!
There, upon THAT Cross, Jesus, bled. Jesus, died. Yet, He rose.
We can, NOW, begin, again. We can:
Make, new moments.
Forgive, old moments.
Live, not survive.
Love, not hide.
Now, therefore, go! I go with you. God and Life goes with us, all. We can do this. We MUST do this. Go, beloveds. We must fight for our Jaybird. Fight, with me. I fight, for you.
- Cry won but that’s okay.Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay.
- Not TODAY!Fear. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Hopeless. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not. Not TODAY! Desperate. Not. ✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Disheartened. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Discouraged. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY! Today I planned something fun for 6p. Health said, Nah Fam, refusing to release it’s grip, on my numb left hand. Leaving me: Stuck in bed, … Continue reading Not TODAY!
- Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PMFriday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM
- There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.
- Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.
- Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PMThursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM
- Even then. Even when. I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when.
- Two things can be true, beloved.Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved.
- Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PMWednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM Nobody Was Missing From the Room Beloveds, Can we stop treating being alone like somebody forgot to show up? Sometimes nobody is missing. Sometimes the room has exactly the right number of people in it. One. You. There are people who love being surrounded by people. There are … Continue reading Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM
- Stuck between two worlds.Beloveds, I feel stuck. Stuck between two worlds: Hopeful, yet wondering. Able, yet, hesitant. Joyful, yet, wandering. Stuck in the middle of… New life. Old life. Future life. Nevertheless/however Cassandra lives. Ah, God, why must I be stuck in the middle. I trust You. I’m learning to trust me, too. Thank You for loving me … Continue reading Stuck between two worlds.
- Give yourself permission, beloveds.Give yourself permission, beloveds. To: Feel. Fear. Cry. Worry. Fret. Fuss. Holler. Howl. Whatever. Whenever. However. Beloveds, it’s important to give yourself permission and room to feel however you feel. Folk ought stop lying 🤥 about how they truly feel. Yesterday, my heart ached. I had to pick up my bifocals and reading glasses 👓 … Continue reading Give yourself permission, beloveds.
- Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PMTuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM When Simple Things Aren’t Simple Anymore Beloveds, Yesterday we talked about missing who you used to be. Tonight, I want to talk about something that can come with that. Sometimes the things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore. Getting out of the house. Going somewhere alone. … Continue reading Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM
- Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PMMonday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM When You Miss Who You Used to Be Beloveds, This week isn’t about me. Something I wrote recently got me thinking about how easy it is to miss who we used to be when life changes on us. But I don’t want to spend this week telling you … Continue reading Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM
- When everything seems like it’s upside-down…The world seems upside down, beloveds. Literally. I can’t tell you the joys of putting on upside down pants👖 🙃🫠🤔🤤😑 Joy came to help me out. Annoyed stayed Annoyed and was no use for anyone. Hard decided to be nice, for once, and handed me fresh briefs. The Father, ever ready, with the toilet paper, … Continue reading When everything seems like it’s upside-down…
- I miss my wombie.I miss my wombie. I miss my twin. Not in a sad way. In a ” what’s up with you ” way. I’m thinking of you, sis. How are you? Your 🦁 Detroit Lions won today. I miss the sound of your voice, sis. Look after Russell and Jr. and all who have gone before. … Continue reading I miss my wombie.
- Sunday Morning with My Bestie and me.REST. Beloveds, It’s Sunday morning. Come sit with us for a minute. 🪑🪑 You don’t have to bring anything. Not what you accomplished this week. Not what you didn’t accomplish. Not the thing you still haven’t figured out. Not an explanation for why you’re tired. Just you. Come sit. There’s a chair for you here. … Continue reading Sunday Morning with My Bestie and me.
- Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026 K-PAX Beloveds, We made it to Saturday. 🍿 Maybe this week was wonderful. Maybe this week wore you slap out. Maybe not much happened at all. Maybe you have been waiting all week for somebody to please stop needing something from you. 😆 Whatever kind of week you had, you … Continue reading Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026
- YOU GOT THIS!We got this! This music 🎶 is so uplifting.! No matter your walk, or lack thereof, God got us. Be encouraged. Be patient with yourself, beloved. You can still do so much more than you give yourself credit for! Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
- I wish I could.I wish I could Friday, October 9, 2026 Beloveds, I wish I could. Four little words. Sometimes they carry an awful lot of life. There are things I used to do without thinking about them. Ordinary things. Private things. Things that didn’t require planning, assistance, or a conversation with my body about whether we were … Continue reading I wish I could.
- Friday, October 9, 2026 — 6:00 PMFriday, October 9, 2026 — 6:00 PM Love was already in the room ❤️🔑 Beloveds, Yesterday I left you with half a sentence. I know. That was wrong. 😅 I said: The door may have been locked. But… 👀 Well… Hhm… 👀 I came back to finish it. The door may have been locked… But … Continue reading Friday, October 9, 2026 — 6:00 PM
- Heart Check — Friday, October 9, 2026Heart Check — Friday, October 9, 2026 Love was already in the room ❤️🔑 Beloveds, We’ve been opening drawers in our hearts all week. Looking at locks. Looking at doors. Looking at the places where we got stuck. We found things we had tucked away. We found some “shoulds” that had been sitting there far … Continue reading Heart Check — Friday, October 9, 2026
- FRIDAYBeloveds, We made it to Friday. Not everybody arrived triumphantly. Somebody crawled. Somebody coasted. Somebody changed the plan four times. Somebody did the bare minimum and had to call that enough. Somebody surprised themselves. Somebody is still waiting for the thing they hoped would change this week. Welcome. This week we talked about rest, beginning … Continue reading FRIDAY
- Thursday, October 8, 2026 — 6:00 PMThursday, October 8, 2026 — 6:00 PM Who has a key? 🔑❤️ Beloveds, Yesterday I told you we needed to talk about keys. So… empty your pockets. 👀🔑 Because somewhere along the way, some of us started confusing love with unlimited access. They are not the same thing. You can love somebody and change what … Continue reading Thursday, October 8, 2026 — 6:00 PM
