Christmas is coming…soon.
Christmas came…for mom.
She’s…gone.
I…remain.
Christmas comes…still.
Cassandra
Hey, mom. It’s me. Christmas is coming. Do you want to know something, mom? THIS year, I don’t find myself dreading it’s coming. THIS year, the coming of Christmas does not signify the coming of THE worst moment, of my life: The morning you left us.
Christmas used to be my fave holiday. I looked forward to it’s visit. The day Jesus, My Homie, My Bestie, was born. I used to yippppeee my way through December. Til the morning you decided to ‘give up the ghost’ as it were and run on out of here.
How very angry I was with you, mom. So, angry. HOW could you leave like that??!! What was I supposed to DO with the rest of this life you forced me to live, alone, without you?!
I’m no longer angry, mom. Sad, at times, yes. But, thankful, grateful of all that you left me with. I am my mom’s daughter. Proud to say that. I know you had your challenges and things that seemed to best you. Yet, you kept trying. I got my TRY from you, mom. Thanks for that.
Because of YOUR try, I now try, best as I can, to keep it moving. Without you.
I’m blasting my music, mom. Just as you did. Am singing badly, to those tunes mom, just as you did. I give my all, best as I know how, mom, just as you did.
As Christmas comes, for me, I welcome her, with open arms, for she holds you within hers. You shall come for me, also, with Christmas. I await your return.
your grateful daughter,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: It is my hope to offer just a bit of comfort, to those who have suffered a loss they don’t think they can live with or beyond. You CAN. You WILL. It takes a willingness to allow your heart to grieve. They say time heals all wounds. Time won’t help, one lick, if you are not willing to go through in order to get to the other side. Most folks are afraid to ‘go through’. They don’t know if they can get through, don’t know HOW to get through, some not sure if they even want to. That said, beloveds, the ONLY way to get through this is to….well, just get through it, dammit, best you can. Hold on. Hang on. Scrape by. Scream through. Cry through. Pray through. Stomp through(delicately if neighbors be near). However, nevertheless, in spite of, because of. Just keep going. One step. Then another. Then another. Until, you can await your Christmas. Maybe, not with anticipation, or joy, just yet. But, at least, upright and hopeful. Til then, I pray….
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 
You have made my entire year 🥰
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Love your Christmas letter to your mum. Holidays can be such a hard time, especially when there are people ‘missing’. But your writing is also full of gratitude and that will always see you through the tough moments. The love, the strong bond you and your mum had will never go away, it’s inside you, always. Your mum made you the wonderful woman you are and that’s something to celebrate every day.
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