Whew.
Whew!
WHEW!!
That’s what I said. Once I had come to after having seen the sticker shock of how much it cost to mail a 17 inch laptop. Whew. 😭🤷♀️
Had to pay an extra ten bucks for my self-satisfied smirk. Karma exacting her revenge, you see. Told Karma “Whatevs” and did my mailing thing.
Seeing as how I had already cost myself for my costly mistake/misstep, I stepped my mistaken/misshapen/MsOppsIForgot self to McDonald’s for an equally ridiculously expensive breakfast!
YYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS! 💃🥰
Now free from fear, self-judgment, self-kicking my own hind end for an honest mistep/mishap, I could enjoy my TRY.
In times past, I would have done something super not helpful and or dumb like:
Hiding, behind pride, I would have humbly, and not humbly, ripped open the box that had taken two hours to get situated and would have ha! my way into ‘saving money’ in cramming the forgotten power cord in with the laptop. To pay for my crime, I would have been kicking my own hind end, berated myself for being an idiot, blamed God and Life for not reminding me not to forget the power cord, blamed you because🤷♀️ just to pass on the savings…*shrug*.
Hiding, behind self-judgement, I would have used forgetting the power cord, as an excuse to lament how much the world hated me, God and Life couldn’t possibly care about me, none of my dreams would ever come true, yada yada. Yep, would have used poor, innocent Power cord to pay for ALL life’s sins and indiscretions towards me. Smh.
Thankfully, beloveds, I have been being about it, getting some act right, leaning heavily on God and Life’s Deep and Abiding Love for me, living life instead of running/hiding from it, making the chili, taking out the trash, doing my TRY, on the daily.
Insodoing, I found…me.
I found, joy.
I found, peace.
I found, resilience.
I found, laughter.
I found, hope.
I found, freedom.
I found, love.
SELF love. I no longer had to wait for, hope for, long for love from another, from others.
Yes, I desire those. Still. Always. The human heart needs to be loved. Yet, I know, KNOW I am loved, of a surety. Completely. Fully. Always.
By, God.
By, Life.
By, mom, and a mum, perhaps many other mamas and papas, in heaven.
By, my wombie.
By, family.
By, me.
By, hopefully, a friend or two or three.
Yet, if none love me, outside the top three, well, that shall be enough. For, I am enough.
As are you. Time to stop kicking your hind end over past/present mistakes/misshapes/missteps/missed opportunities. You did your TRY.
So what if it costs you a few extra bucks because you forgot the cord. You did the thing, you was about being about it. Move on. Applaud yourself for the mess you made.
You were NOT among the masses, among the timid souls who do not enter the arena. You be the man in the arena!
*Cassandra congratulates herself on how she deftly and cleverly managed to slip in an ‘The Man in The Arena’ reference(awesome poem if you have never read it, by the by)*.
Long story short…hhhmm…🤷♀️. I guess I am just saying to keep on keeping on. Focus not on all you could have said, done, been. You are doing your all, being your all, emptying your glass. Let that be enough.
You ARE enough.
Keep going. You shall find something of infinite and priceless value along the way.
You shall find…you.
walking with you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 