Real talk: It takes as long as it takes.

Apparently, grief has, or should have, an acceptable shelf-life.

Apparently, one week appears to be all the world can allot one to grieve, to mourn, to be sad, to process. Then, it’s keep it moving. Or, rather, keep YOUR sad, your grief, your struggles, to yourself. Don’t bother ME, with YOUR sad. If you do, why, that would make me have to deal with my own sad, my own bad, my own mad.

*sigh*

Thankfully, gratefully, I have grown, in the last two years from being about it, standing, TRYing, LIVEing, LOVEing, HOPEing, BELIEVEing. So much so, I no longer hide my sad/mad/struggle, whilst struggling to juggle/support the sad/mad/struggles of others. Now, I allow myself to be those things, to say those things, to process those things. All while still trying to help a brotha/sista out with theirs.

I find it terribly troublesome folks seem to be okay with walking away, refusing to say, keeping away from folks who have some sad/mad/struggle in his/her/their life. Folk so afraid to look at, deal with, touch their own hurt so look away from the hurt of others.

Yes, it is impossible to know what to say to someone who is going through. Just this morning, I told someone that I have NO idea what to say/do that would be helpful. All they needed, though, was my ear, just for a moment. Just my shoulder, for a moment. Time for them to collect themselves so they could keep it moving, one slow step, at a time.

Dealing with loss, life, whatever takes time. How much time? As long as it takes.

I think we all owe each other an apology. For not allowing others in, during the hard. For, slapping a smile on our faces and pretending. We did this, do this, supposedly so as not to ‘be a burden’ on others. What a load of crap!

What on earth, beloveds, is wrong with bearing a burden, with BEING a burden? It’s the whole point of having two shoulders, two ears, two arms. So, we can lean and allow another to lean. So, we can hear, and allow another to listen. So, we can hold and allow another to hold us.

20 lashes, with a wet noodle, for us all.

Real talk, initally, I was going to try and wade through, dig through, fight through, this mountain of grief and who gives a damn, alone. I was going to, valiantly, make my way, in silence, through tears, heart yearning for the care of another, yet keeping to myself. All, whilst waxing poetic, inspirationalic(made up word and who cares), bearing the burdens of the world and keeping mine to me. To hell with that! There are already too many, much too many folk, bearing burdens, alone.

So, here I sit, here I dig, here I share. Why? In hopes that someone, in need of a shoulder, ear, arms, might see/hear/read:

You are, not alone.

You don’t, dig alone.

You don’t, fight alone.

You don’t, strive alone.

Your struggles, matter.

Your burden, matters.

Your TRY, matters.

Your love, matters.

Your heart, matters.

In short, YOU matter, beloveds. As, do I. Time we need to also be about caring. For ourselves, first. Can’t care for others if we don’t have enough care ourselves. Then, care for someone else. Care for folks you know. Care for folks you don’t know. Just care. And, who cares, if you profit or don’t, from the care you bestow? Who cares! Just care.

Just care….*sigh*…..*Cassandra wishes there were more folks who cared, who were brave enough to show some care*.

Life is short. Yet, not short enough where we can’t give a bit more care.

There are days, these days, in fact, where I wish I didn’t care so darned much. Life would be so much simpler. Less enjoyable, but simpler. I choose to care.

caring still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Keep going through whatever you are going through. It takes as long as it takes.

Be good to yourself.

Keep, making the chili. Even if, the chili does not taste as grand.

Keep, taking out the trash. Even if, the trash is heavy, the bin seeming farther away.

Keep, dancing. Even if, your steps are heavy.

Keep, singing. Even if, you sing with/through tears.

Keep, believing. Even if, your dreams seem to be going further away instead of drawing nigh thee.

Keep, loving. Even if, love doesn’t seem to want to love you back.

Keep, seeking. Even if, the seeking gets harder, each day.

Keep, an open heart. Even if, hearts around you seem to remain closed to you.

Keep, an open mind. Even if, the minds around you appear to be closed/resolute.

Keep, your arms outstretched, ready to hold and to be held. Even if, your arms remain unfilled.

Do these things. Do them, knowing you are changing things, you are being changed, God and life are changing things because of what you are/do.

Be encouraged, beloveds. This thing, called life, takes as long as it takes. Give yourself time to grow through what you are currently going through. Don’t remember who said that saying. I like it. Think it’s unknown or something…*shrug*. We got this. Just, barely.

‘Nuff said,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

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