Yikes!
Egads!
Today, is my big bro birthday. He passed away, a couple of years ago. These past two weeks, several friends have lost loved ones. Loved ones I have/had been praying forever for. Sadly, as life goes, life went on ahead and called them home…*sigh*.
Have spent days in tears and grieving. Scraped my way out, made myself work, and wombie reminded me today was our big bro birthday. Would you believe I had THE nerve to say, outloud no less ‘sorry big bro, have to put you on the back burner for a few days as you already gone’.
Yikes!
Egads!
Don’t judge me, yall. Just don’t have the tear capacity to go around the ‘dear Lord my big bro is gone’. Not yet. Not today, at least. Maybe, this weekend. Maybe, I can schedule a good cry session for all the things I don’t have time to cry about, here lately. Is all I can do, as a single black woman, to scrape myself out of bed and to work.
If life were, equal. If things, were equal…*shrug*…I would be off, ALL this week, possibly next, crying for all I am worth and grieving for these folks who keep dying at inopportune times. I almost wish I could ask Life to at least have the courtesy to not have them so close together already!!!!!!
Am trying to have a bit of humor. It’s either laugh, a bit, or cry for the next 24 hours. I am running out of kleenex, am in no mood for a headache, and I have a chicken breast cooking nicely in the air fryer….*shrug*…priorities, don’tcha know….*shrug*.
Am doing my utmost, to NOT do unhealthy things, as I do this healthy thing of grieving. I did a bit of comfort eating, yesterday. Okay. Okay! I did quite a bit of comfort eating. No alcohol. I promised myself not to add alcohol on top of grieving.
Found myself on an 11 day, alcohol drinking, bender when mom passed. Didn’t bring her back. Did nothing for me other than annoy me and have me staggering all over the apartment like a complete moron. Made quite the sight, falling every which a way. When I sobered up, I promised mom not to act a complete dummy like that again.
So, on today’s grieving plan/menu:
Laughter. Check.
Water. Check.
Mini cinnamon rolls. Double check!!
Chicken breast, lightly seasoned, golden brown. YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS
Cutting of slacketh towards myself. Check.
Unshed tears…hmm….may allot for a trickle or too later.
Chair dance. Check.
Casting ALL my cares upon Him. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Rinse. Repeat. Check.
Reaching out for love/support. Check. Check. Check. Check. Liberally applied/utilized.
Well, beloveds, the timer fixing to go off for my chicken breast! Hate to eat and run. But…
brb,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
P.S. Happy birthday, big bro. I miss you. Tell mom and dad I said hello. Tell mom don’t be up there cheating at gin rummy!…lol….kidding mom. 😉
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 
😁
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I’m loving that menu. Hugs xo
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