Hey there, beloveds. Long time, no see. I’ve been a bit busy, you see, trying to find my yipppeees. Have you seen it/them? I’m not sure where I had them last.
I have looked for my yipppeees everywhere. I think they are with Yikes! and Egads! as I have not seen either of them around, lately. Where could they have all gone?
I looked for them in the chili I was FINALLY able to dump out. Don’t ask me why it took so many months to dump one container of chili. I STILL don’t know why I have not been able to eat any since my young friend shockingly decided to pass away on New Year’s Eve.
I don’t even know what made me finally dump it. No extraordinary feeling came upon me. Nothing inspiring or inspirational happened. One day, my heart whispered “It’s time”. So, I did what my heart asked and dumped the chili, took out the trash, ran the dishwasher and rested. In that order.
After having rested, I arose, began, again, yet found my yipppeees missing.
Have you seen them, beloveds? Or, can you tell me where to look? Life feels like, well, work, without my yipppeees.
I normally enjoy my job. I am good at it. I am fantastic with the folks I interact and assist, on a daily basis. I’m not patting myself on the back. I really AM really great at my job as I love service so love doing so on the daily.
To my surprise, I have found lately that works feels like, well work. I have tried to find my yipppeees, in my work, but have just found myself floundering to get to the end of the work day where I can escape to…🤷♀️…no idea. I have found work impossibly exhausting without my yippeee.
My yipppees contain my goofness, my I don’tgivetwohootswhathappenslifeisSTILLgood. My yippeees, contains laughter in the middle of complete foolishness and hard. My yippeees, contain forgiveness and love to those who do me wrong knowing God and Life gives me forgiveness and love when I least expect it or deserve it.
My yipppees, make me want to, even when I don’t want to. My yipppees, keep me shouting into the void, when the last thing I want to do is to, shout into the void. My yipppees, keep me reaching out for dreams, things, folks and what not, when none of those things reach back, for me.
Have you seen them, beloveds? Or, can you tell me where to look?
Food, has lost it’s luster, without my yipppees. A cup of coffee is just….a cup of coffee….*gasp*. All true coffee/tea drinkers know how much of a gasp a cup of tea/coffee is when liberally sprinkled with yipppeees and or joy.
Writing has become, I can’t say a chore. Writing, has become…*shrug*. Yea, beloveds, writing has become a shrug emoji. I have not found myself in a rush to get to my computer, or phone, to jot something down before I forget. Now, my actions are…deliberate. I want to know what and why I am writing before I begin the chore of putting words to paper. Yes, even words, now seem like work, these last days.
I thought my yipppees came from the words, stored in this weird heart of mine. Yet, here lately, it appears my words derive, in part, from my yipppees. Alas, I won’t know that, though, until my yipppees return.
I have asked God, I have asked Life, I have asked my heart, where in the fresh hell have my yipppees gone? ALL of them are silent. Holy smokes.
I CAN report that I found my joy kicking it with music. All week, work had been, well work. Hard. Long. Frustrating. All without my yipppees. Being so tired, I had, like a dumbsky, turned off my music and toiled through the days accompanied by hard, whytheheckisallthishardbeingsoblasted hard, whatgooftookthefunoutofmyday.
Thankfully, hard discreetly suggested that I turn my music back on. I turned on my music and found myself chair dancing. Looked over, and saw hard rocking and frolicking, to the music. Looked on the other side, and saw peace and joy moonwalking and cutting up.
YIPPPEEE!
What was that?!
HHmm.
*Cassandra forgets about her lost yipppees and chair dances for others who may have also lost their yipppees*
YYYYYYAAAAASSSSSSSS!
Hey, there, yasssssss! Long time, no hear from. Where have YOU been hiding? Can you tell me where my yipppees have gone?
No? Well, I will just hang out with you, til my yipppees return. Maybe, my heart just needs a bit of time to rest, to let others be there, for me. So, I can get refilled/refreshed.
I think it’s okay, YYYYYYYYAAAAAASSSS!, to be able to admit to not knowing, being exhausted, having nothing left to give out to the world, to myself even, and have that be okay.
I’m not sad, mad, discouraged or anything like that. I am…*shrug*….I find myself just being ‘I am’ if that makes sense. Right now, I am many things.
I am:
Tired, from years and years and years and years of shouting into the void, for others, for myself, for life to give up it’s bounty, to us.
Wondering, if these dreams, of mine, will ever come true. And, if not, what shall I do then.
Exhausted, from years and years and years and years of trying to figure thing out, of trying to understand when things don’t go my way, of trying to receive whatever comes, my way, with dignity and grace when at times I want to tell those things to kick ten rocks, already.
A bit hesitant, to embrace, the yipppees, that wishes to, come pouring out of me, at the thought of the void which may, finally, be about, to give up it’s bounty.
A bit fearful, to encourage, the yipppees, that need to, rejoice for me, at the thought of these dreams, of mine, that may, finally, be about, to come true.
A bit reluctant, to release, the yipppeees, that wants to, reassure me that I no longer have to try and figure things out, understand when things don’t go my way, as I can and will continue to receive whatever comes, my way, with dignity and grace.
Have you seen them, beloveds? Or, can you tell me where to look?
No?
That’s okay. Until I find my yipppeees, I shall continue to take out the trash, run the dishwasher. And, hopefully, soon, make a nice pot of chili. I miss the smell of chili, filling my apartment. The smell, of a job, well done. The smell, of cooking something I love/enjoy. The smell, of satisfaction.
I think we all have those times where we misplace, lose, forget where we left, our yipppees. I also think, it’s normal, to do those things. Helps us remember how important, they are. So, when we do locate them, we will safeguard them, better. We will, enjoy them more. We will, help others, find theirs. ALL things, work for our good, if we let them. Even, losing our yipppeees.
I think, beloveds, that I shall go and climb into God’s Pocket. My heart, is tired. My heart, needs some care. His Care. Yea, think I shall do that.
brb,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life has been no joke, for most of us, lately. No matter. However. We fight on. Still. Yippppeeeless though we may currently find ourselves to be. Keep on living, beloveds. Don’t EVER give in to the temptation to simply exist because it seems easier to exist, to not care so much. Caring too much, beloveds, is not the problem. If you find yourself at a blank page, a black spot, a silent moment receive these things as the gifts they are. Gifts, in that they continue to show you the awesomeness called…YOU! You got this, as do I. And, if you don’t got this, that’s okay as God and Life has us all.
I love you.
Be, encouraged.
Be, well.
Be, you.
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 