I’m, not lost.
I just have NO earthly idea, beloveds, where in the fresh hell, I am.
I am NOT, in hell.
Though, this not knowing, where the hell I am, is a helluva place and quandary, to be in.
It’s hard to see, where one is going, when one has no earthly idea, where one is going. Or, rather, where one is supposed to go.
I find, beloveds, the unknowingness, the ungoingness, of my current circumstances, has me unknowing and ungoing.
I am not used to this, to this, ungoingness. I am used to being a ‘go getter’, for others. I am used to being about it, for others. I am used to ‘being there’, for others.
Now, at this time, both God and Life have asked me, to put down my doing, not being, my giving, for others. And, have asked me…what about ME?
What about MY needs, They ask?
I hesitate, to answer.
I hesitate, even, to ask myself, what MY needs are.
I find myself wanting, no NEEDING, to be needed.
I find myself, wanting, no NEEDING, to be cherished.
I find myself…
Ah!
Aha!
I find, that in losing my yipppees, I have found…ME!
For, beloveds, I am NOT, my yippeees. My yippeees, are an expression, a byproduct of:
Taking, out the trash.
Loading/emptying, the dishwasher.
Drinking, yipppeeless coffee.
Living, in the moment.
Doing, without knowing.
Going, without knowing whethersoever I goeth.
Hiding, in God’s Pocket.
In keeping on, when I don’t feel like keeping on.
In shouting into the void. For, others. For, myself.
In, doing all those things…
In, doing, at times, none of those things, I continue to find…
Me.
Yea, beloveds, I am not lost.
I just don’t know where I am.🤷♀️
God and Life knows, and They ain’t telling.
wondering without wandering,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 