Good evening, beloveds.
Yea, it’s me. Jaybird. Sweetpea. Cassandra.
I know. I know. I have been missing in action. Leastwise, from these pages. I have been searching for someone. Truth be told, beloveds, I have been in search for this person my whole life long.
I pursued this one, relentlessly, frustratingly, unknowingly. Alas, I knew not of whom I had and have been chasing.
I chased this phantom, this figment, through 54 uphill years.
Doggedly, unapologetically, painstakingly, I rushed after this one. This one, one that could, would, should change my life, change my world into that which my dreams forever shout at me to complete, have and do.
54 years and counting…
The years drop faster, my steps grow slower, time races, a crawl replaces, heartbeats lessens, silence defeans, as I strive to hear, to see, to be, near to…..???
Where o where, are you, I cry, I cry out.
Where?!
The cry, now a demand.
“I call”!
Tossing my heart, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my tears, ALL that I have, know and see, I slide to the center of the table.
I have bet, me, you see.
Not knowing, if anything shall become of my bet. Not knowing if any, if anything, will see any value upon all that lies upon this velvet table called life.
Yet, I am no longer afraid that my heart, that my love, that my life, that my try, that my tears, that my fears, that my dreams, that me, just ME, will be chosen.
For, beloveds, I choose me. It no longer matters of you do not. I choose me. I love me. I see me. And, that is enough. Always has been. Ever true this shall be.
“I call your heart and raise it with My Life”
*Cassandra turns to see Jesus standing across from her, with a crown in His Nail-scarred Hands*.
“I call your heart and raise it with My Never-ending Love”.
*Cassandra turns and sees The Father who takes the chair on her left side.*
“I call your heart and raise it with My love”.
*Cassandra turns and sees her mom, sees her dad, sees her siblings, sees her friends take their place on her other side.*
Suddenly, finally, slowly, the one, the ONE, Jaybird, Sweetpea, and Cassandra had been looking for for 54 years and counting, tapped her on the shoulder and said…
“I accept.”
Cassandra smiled, recognizing, the touch, the soft voice, the comforting words. Trusting, without seeing, she leaned, finally, backwards, resting, quietly, on the confidently beating heart.
“Hello, my friend. Thanks for waiting for me.”
*Saying a heartfelt thanks to all those who had been there this whole time, Cassandra made to leave with one who had ALWAYS been with and for her and made off to see what the rest of her life contained for her*…
Huh?
Whatchamean who did I find? Didja actually think I would spill the beans so easily after it took ME 54 years, to find the one, to find the answer?!
Besides, beloveds, if your eyes have beheld the end of this tale, why, means you have, you are, on the same quest, on the same search. I can’t spoil your ending. It shall be delicious, beloveds, as you make your way, towards…
I can give you a hint. When you finally, intentionally, irrationally, irreverently, push ALL of you, ALL your chips, in the middle of the table, and bet on YOU…ah…*hugs self*…THEN you shall be witness to…
*Realizing she almost gave up the goods, Cassandra made her way out of the room and into the rest of her days*.
What will/would those days contain? I have NO idea. God knows, but He ain’t telling.
Finally found,
Cassandra aka Jaybird aka Sweetpea
#YourLifeMattersToMe
P.S. Life is short, beloveds. I haven’t blogged since Ashley passed away as she ALWAYS responded to my #YourLifeMattersToMe with a #YourLifeMattersToo. I wish my prayers, my care, my words, my shouting into the void could have, would have been enough to help her stay around until her heart healed. I promised her, though, that I would keep leaving the light on for others, that I would keep chair dancing for those who are not yet able.
Keep going, beloveds. Keep going…
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 