More than 30 years ago, 33 to be exact, it was on my heart to write a book entitled Come Down From The Cross: Will The Real Lord Please stand up. It wasn’t going to be a preachy book. In fact, it was going to be….ah, going to be. There’s the rub. It was going to be, I was going to be, I was going to do. Yet, life, work, me, life, work, circumstances, situations, me, work, me, me, me, other folks, me, money, being black, being a woman, being fat, me, work, me, me, me, him, her, they, God, Life, mom, dad, what mom did, what mom did not do, what dad did, what dad did not do, being single, me, work, me, me, me, me, you, me, this, that, the other thing, that other reason, those particular circumstances all prevented me from writing the book of the year, decade, century and millennium.
Or, that’s what I have told myself all these years long. I wanted to write about how to maneuver in this world and survive as a decent human being, a ‘good’ Christian, an awesome person. The problem was, I had NO earthly idea HOW to be a ‘good’ Christian. I figured I could be an outstanding bad or mediocre one, on my own. Yep, I had just enough knowledge to be dangerous. Yet, I wanted to do things the ‘right’ way. Only prob was I was basically given a bible and told to read it and pretty much ‘do the best you can, homie’. Fast, pray, go to church, give money so God could do this and that and keep it moving.
Cept, I didn’t understand the thees, thous, and the other things. I didn’t know from hither and yon, the thithers and thathers. I searched, asked, prodded and probed. To be honest, I think many folk had my same issues but did not want to admit to not knowing HOW. I decided to write a book to help me, and perhaps others, navigate this thing called life.
Here is where it gets hard, beloveds, as I have to admit to…*sigh*….being afraid. Afraid, I couldn’t do it. Afraid, no one would listen. Afraid, I wouldn’t get the money to do all I wanted to do. Afraid, I may find the money yet fail because I was this, that, the other thing or none of the above. Afraid…
Yall, I was just afraid. Period. End of story.
All these years later, I still have that want to, that need, to write about how to manuever through this world and survive as a decent human being, a fantastic Christian and an awesome person. I still, have no idea how. I still, may fail. Folks still, may never listen to me because I am this, that, the other things or none of those things.
Yet, I have decided to try. Now. Here. In THIS moment. At THIS time. Why? Cuz, life is short yall. We only have this one time to do, be, mess up, fix, fail, succeed, mess up royally and 50 bajillion other things in between.
I have ZERO idea if I will succeed, fail or even finish. All I can do, beloveds, is try.
I am done beating myself up because I didn’t, I haven’t, all those years ago, all these years.
I am done lamenting all that I don’t have because of 50 million and one reasons.
I am completely fed up and through with allowing me to get in my own blasted way. The number one reason, the biggest reason, the who gives a hoot about all the other reasons, was, is, and ever shall be…
ME!
Tada.
Today, I write.
Today, I live.
Today, I love.
Day one…
Writing who knows what,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 