Another text.
Another fam member has passed away.
Just did this dance two weeks ago.
Just starting to sleep now after loved one resting in peace.
Now, the death march begins again: Waiting for the obit. Waiting for funeral to be over. Waiting for the burial to be over.
Hurry up, dammit.
Dammit.
I know. Watch the language.
Fresh hell.
I tried to work through it. Tried to finish the work day.
I told myself to keep it moving. To keep on keeping on.
He is gone. You keep living.
Was all set and ready to stuff my feelings into a rarely used drawer and work the sad away.
Fortunately for me, new habits, me time, God, Life, and my heart gently pried the brooms from my hands and said:
“Sit down, Martha”. “Stop working your way through your life. It’s time you actually feel and live in real time. Not when you can snatch a moment to shed a tear.”
Tearfully, I let my boss know I was done for the day. He was smart enough to know that I needed some space. He let me know he had coded me off for the rest of the shift.
A part of me, old habits rooting me on, wanted to pull myself up by the bootstraps and finish the day with gusto.
Gusto told me to go ahead and take two seats and went to sit in The Father’s Lap. I think I will join gusto and take a bit of sad with me. I want to show My Dad the owwie that my heart now has. Oh, I hope He kisses my boo boo and gives me a hug…
brb,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 