Father, I thought I heard You say yes.
If I were to be honest, though, I would admit that I am a bit afraid to rejoice.
My yippppees got to doing their yippppeees and I began to rock and chair dance.
I yippppeeeed, right alongside my yipppeeess until the thought crossed my mind:
“What if I heard You wrong?”
“What if it’s not MY turn?”
You see, so many times, I thought I had heard a yes and would get myself all fired up only to find out that the phone never rang, the doorbell never chimed, the email never entered the inbox, the text never came.
Yet, my heart knew for sure HE had said yes.
Over the years, the last three, in fact, He and I have gotten so close that I now understand that HE was, is and ever shall be My Answer.
He IS MY Yes!
YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Now, I no longer look for His ‘blessings’ to affirm me. Growing up, it was basically understood, in church speak, that if you do this, that and the other God would ‘bless you’. Now, I did things for Him and others because I loved Him and them. Yet, I would rush to get my treats and would be soooooooo disappointed.
Disappointed, not in Him, but in ME. I MUST be doing something. Or, I must NOT be doing something. Or, I must have DONE something and was having said blessings withheld as some type of punishment or lesson. Or, both.
Thankfully, He, My Awesome Father, My Relentless Pursuer, chased me down and loved me until I saw myself as He saw me.
He loves me.
Period.
End of discussion.
Yes, He gets disappointed, at times, when I do something especially dumb which costs me time, money, starting at square one yada yada what the world wrong with you Cassandra type dumbness.
Even then, He continued to love me.
Eventually, I learned He did not, does not, will not dole out His Love in increments as I do this, that and the other thing. He loves me because He IS Love and Love just loves. Period.
Today, just a bit ago, I could have sworn I heard Him say ‘yes’ to some things I have been asking for many a decade.
Now, I can either trust in His Character, in His Deep and Abiding Love for me. Or, I can keep my yipppeees in check and pretend I didn’t hear what I KNOW I heard, deep inside. That way, I can pretend so when disappointment comes I won’t be as disappointed.
HMMMMM.
HA!
To hooey with that!
*Cassandra ushers doubt out the door and proceeds to twirl around her apartment*
Ow!!
*Cassandra discreetly extricates herself from the closet and removes the flamingo pink undies now gracing her head in such an ungracious fashion. Head tipped back and roared with laughter. Feet got to tapping with joy. Smile asked lips to open wide. Arms stretched themselves to the heavens the folded shoulders in a lovely embrace*
Ah.
Aha!
dreaming whilst waiting,
Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Do NOT be afraid to dream, beloveds. Life is short. Do NOT allow yourself to squelch the yippppeeess welling up in you as you contemplate your own secret dreams. Whisper them to Him. He hears you.
We got this.
We all we got but we all we need.
I love me some yous….lol……
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 