Month: March 2023

Burnt peanut butter cookies, Take 2.

OK, really, Cassandra?

Reallllly, God?!

Are you for serious, Life?!

It’s bad enough that dreams did NOT show up, yet, yet again, today.

Told myself that I was aite.

Talked to my sis.

Talked to my wombie.

Realized after hanging up the phone that I was STILL alone.

That made me want to cry.

I did NOT want to cry by myself.

Yet again.

Called my twin and had a quick power cry.

Told her I enjoyed talking to her but soon as we hung up the phone I was alone.

Yet.

Again.

With no yes in sight.

Not yet.

Wanting to cry, I decided to make some cookies and love on some me til someone who loved me would call me and love on some me.

I find my love tank is a bit empty. I fill it best I can but some love you just can’t give yourself.

In the meantime, I figured I would be about that positivity life I am forever carrying on about and made cookies.

The problem is that I KNOW exactly how long and on what temperature to make tasty cookies in my old air fryer.

See, I had purchased a super fancy new air fryer. It was digital. Had all types of bells and whistles and turned itself off if you open and ding really cute and have cute food icons all over it’s sleek black body.

It beckoned me, this NEW thing. It scoffed at my dusty, trusty, now rusty old air fryer. No bells and whistles. No digital lights winking and daring me to use. Nope, just my trusty unit where I knew exactly how long and at what temperature each dish called for.

I knew this because I had thoroughly read the manual. I also followed the instructions to the letter. I also made many attempts and tried and failed until I could make THE perfect cookie.

Hot.

Fresh.

Yes!

#sigh*

There is THAT word again. The word that had driven me to make cookies in the first place.

Here, by now, if you know me, I would be imparting wisdom like how new things takes time to learn, to get right. Because, well, because they ARE new.

I would have gladly done that if only I had not decided to try again and bake the last of the peanut butter cookies.

You guessed it.

I BURNT THE LAST OF THE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE DOUGH!!!!

So, forgive me if I am just too distraught to wax philanthropic about if at first you don’t succeed go right on ahead and BURN THE LAST OF THE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE DOUGH!!

Thankfully, I have paid the cable bill, I STILL know how to make the perfect cup of coffee and can pop the bestest popcorn in the wide world.

Popcorn, anyone?

*Cassandra considers the cookie fiasco and wonders if she dare try popcorn tonight*

Not…quite…yet.

Coffee, anyone?🤷‍♀️🤣

waiting,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Burnt peanut butter cookies: Waiting for comfort.

I have been in need.

All day.

ALL DAY!

*stamps foot*

While waiting for something…

While waiting for comfort, I decided to make peanut butter cookies to have with my coffee.

Turns out, I had the temperature way too low.

Feeling like Goldie Locks, I turned the temperature high and restarted the time.

Turns out, the temperature was right but the timing was off!!!!

Burnt peanut butter cookies!

Yet, again that blasted word yet I don’t get no yes on hot fresh and perfectly baked peanut butter cookies!!!

Story of my life right now!!!!!

*Cassandra storms out of the room headed yall already know where she is headed and Whose Lap she is fixing to have a good no peanut butter cookie having cry!*

Moral of the story?

Who cares. My cookies are burnt and the answer is STILL yet!!

tore up from the floor up,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Enjoy your day off.

Ah, 1:46 AM!

I have done my writing.

I have had wee early morning coffee and felt like a real writer writing over wee hour morning coffee.

I have prepared a delicious heaping of supe buttery grilled toast which is staring impatiently at me. We have a date with the Star Wars Trilogy, dontcha know?!

Okay, okay! I’m coming.

I have a delicious rest of the day to get in all manner of foolishness as we save the galaxy from The First order.

Am off, beloveds. Off to save the world and see if I can turn Keylo Ren’s heart back to the light. He is a tough nut to crack.

Let us be off! Somebody turn down the lights and bring the 🍿. Hand my that Sprite there, wouldja?

Have an awesome day. Don’t waste a bit of it fretting over things you can’t do a bit about or for. If you could you already would have, eh? So, what the world you wasting your day fretting in what is or what may be? It either is, was or will be without your help. Cut out all that carrying on and help me win over the galaxy…

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Spend time with your dream, today.

I am getting back to doing what I have ALWAYS loved:

Writing, in the middle of the night.

I don’t know why I get such a kick out of writing in the wee hours. It feels, to me, like me and God are the only ones that are up this time of night. Of course, I know this is not actually true. It just feels that way.

So, I ramble and day dream and write and pray and hope. All in the wee hours, of the night. This is a quandary, though. Being alert and vibrant until dawn calls me for a nap. Yet, I have to then get up and get about my work days so I can pay the bills.

A girl can’t be up 24/7 so it has been a fight, for decades, to find the time to write and still be able to be effective at work. Enough to make one put down the pen. Just too hard to not have time to do as I really want to do.

Now….*shrug*. Am playing the waiting game whilst God and Life work out the how of this thing so I can be about being bout it in the middle of the night doing my thing.

Til then, life is short. We only get one go around so I am going around, spending a bit of time, with my dream, today. I have no idea how many days I have left. May as well spend as many wee hours as I can carrying on, with the night, until dawn reminds me that day will be here for me soon.

Hey there, dreams, will you knock on my door, today?

waiting the answer,

Me

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Monday Morning Affirmations.

Part of me time is making sure to fill yourself with positives and energy and what not to carry you through whatever the day and life may bring.

Don’t wait, beloveds, on when you find the time or feel like it. be sure to fill up on positive thoughts. Feed yourself with some joy, peace, and love. Mostly, give yourself plenty of leeway and runway.

Make it perfectly okay to mess up at least ten times a day. More, if the day calls for it.

Make room for some laughs. Take extra, in fact. Your day may call for it.

Make time for some love. Take oodles with you. Love on some you. Then love on some me. Then love on some others. As many peeps and folks as you can get your hands and your heart around.

Make merry.

Make jello.

Make grilled cheese.

Make coffee.

Whatever you need to make it through, get about making it.

Life is short.

Yet, long enough to give it ALL you have got.

Turn in an empty cup, at the end of the day.

What a glorious day, this day has already turned out to be. No matter how the day may turn out.

affirming me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Always…

I love this saying. Folks are so busy trying to emulate and be someone else they have not the first clue who THEY are. What THEY feel. What THEY need. What THEY want.

Life is so very short.

Do, you.

Be, you.

The rest will come out in the wash, as old folks used to and still say.

I enjoy being me. Enjoy, tremendously, the dumb things I tend to say and do.

I enjoy that I enjoy allowing myself to be silly and goofy and all the icky emotions apparently grown folk ought not to feel. Not sure who started all the supposeds tos and shoulds and should nots. Not even sure why folks are following folks advice when they don’t even know if said advice is even working for these silently staring and judgy folk…*shrug*.

Anywho, I enjoy that I like to say anywho and N-E-Waze knowing it is getting on judgy folks last nerves. For, I am supposed to be using thisers and thaters and thou saith and thus becauseth and all that super apparently more spiritual type banter folk think ought be used.

Truth be told, I yak at God in all manner of ways. Some times, when I am feeling especially dumb, I yak at Him in a bit of slang. I say ‘I love me some You, Lord’. This makes Him smile. He knows, full well, many folks get all gaspy and such.

Of course, I have healthy reverence for Him. He IS, after all. Yet, He is:

My, Friend.

My, Counselor.

My,…

My, o, my….He is.

‘Nuff said.

I enjoy that I enjoy saying ’nuff said. Knowing this is not particularly great writing etiquette. Yet, it’s MY writing style. I made it. I make the decision to use fifty commas or none. I do so, in part, to laugh at myself. It’s my way of telling myself to ‘chill out’.

There was a time, beloveds, where EVERY sentence had to be perfect. Down to the font. Down to the font size. Down to the font color. Let alone, the width between paragraphs. The this of the piece. The that of the piece. Goodness and gracious. Everything just HAD to be perfect.

So perfect, in fact, I despaired things could never BE perfect. Which caused me to make the choice to stop writing until I had the ‘right’ tools. Until I had money. Until I had time. Until I had this. Until I had that. Until God did this. Until Life showed me that.

Until.

Until.

Until….

Enough!

It was enough.

One day, I just did as God, as Life just asked me to do from jump….

Write, God said.

Write, Life said.

I don’t know how, I said.

I don’t know what, I said.

Write anywho, God said.

Write N-E-Waze, Life said.

LOL, I said.

I wrote, anywho.

I write, N-E-Waze.

The moral of this piece, you ask?

You tell me.

Too many are waiting for some entity, group, person to tell them what to think and how to live.

Time for folks to use their own hat racks and get to living some life for themselves.

I have been watching Rey from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Over and over. For, weeks.

Something had awakened inside her.

Something unknown.

Something scary.

Something she does not know what to do with.

I find that something has awakened.

Inside, me.

Something, unknown.

Something, unknown, yet not scary.

Something, I have NO idea what to do with.

Father, I don’t know HOW!

Life, I don’t know what to DO!?

Wait, God says.

Not yet, Life says.

I, wait.

Knowing not.

Not yet.

Not quite yet.

Ah.

Aha!

always,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

When the answer is yet.

What do you do, beloveds, when the answer is yet?

Not quite yet, to be in fact.

One letter.

One letter!

The difference between supposed happiness and the waiting period you find yourself in.

Yet.

Yes.

Ack!

ONE stupid letter.

Why, yet, still!?

Why, awaken all this inside and then say…

Yet?!

Ah.

Aha!

The fact that there is the question means He has an answer.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait!

For, the answer.

For, THE answer.

For, The Answer.

yet waiting,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Isn’t she lovely?: Affirm yourself.

*Cassandra wakes half the neighborhood singing ‘Isn’t She Lovely’ by Stevie Wonder to herself, about herself*

YYYYAAAAAASSS!!

Affirm yourself, beloveds.

You don’t need he, she, her, Him, they, this, that or the other to make you, break you or take you anywhere you do not choose to be or do.

The ONLY thing broken is the chains breaking up off your heart, your life and ALL that pertains to you.

HEEYYYY!!

*Cassandra pauses the music long enough to answer the pounding at her door. Cassandra lets in a tuxedo-wearing Jesus and cuts a rug eith The Great King!*

YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAASSSSS!

Get on down with us, beloveds. Celebrate the AWESOME life called you.

gettin’ jiggy with Him,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I forgot to be sad.

While singing terribly, I forgot to be sad.

While praying for others, I forgot to be sad.

While working through the work day, I forgot to be sad.

While being about being about it, I forgot to be sad.

While sharing the burden of a loved one, I forgot to be sad.

While pouring my heart out to God, I forgot to be sad.

While, doing meal prep whilst singing badly, still, I forgot to be sad.

While showering a night’s worth of sad, disappoinment, and anger, I forgot to be sad.

While counting all my blessings, I forgot to be sad.

While acknowledging how far I have come, I forgot to be sad.

While recognizing how far I have to go, I forgot to be sad.

Sad got mad and took off.

Makes me no never mind. I had forgotten ’bout her anywho…*shrug*

hopeful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

P.S. If you may have noticed, I like to end my pieces by calling out where, what and whose I am. Sometimes, it’s good, it’s necessary to declare where, what and whose you are. Get after it.

Tote someone else’s water.

“I don’t know how I am going to get through this day”.

The words that were running through my head. Those same words were drug into the shower with me. Those same words had a cup of coffee shoved down their throat. Those same words got to work and did the day. Those words completed the shift. Those words encouraged as many folks as I could reach today. T hose words looked up and the sun was setting on those words.

“I don’t know how I am going to get through tomorrow”.

Tomorrow: Ask me in the morning…

lol,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I had zero strength to fool with my own foolishness. Decided to encourage as many hearts as I could get my hands on. Somebody, somewhere, some kind of way needed to be lifted up, today. Completely forgot about my carryings on to even carry on. So, I carried on and carried, lugged and toted someone else’s water, today. Will tote some more, tomorrow. Yet, tomorrow said stop worrying about her and enjoy the rest of my day, today. I shall….