*sigh*
I’m excited.
And, when I am excited, I get loud.
And, I mean REALLY, really loud.
I had an idea.
Ah.
Aha!
I wanted to share it with one of my big brothers.
I called.
Long story short…*sigh*…
I, cut up.
I, acted a fool.
I, demanded to be listened to.
I, hollered and screamed about folk not listening to me.
I, accused him of not listening to me.
All while listening, but refusing to hear, his heart.
Yes, I could hear his heart, hear his words.
Yet, I….*shrug*.
Long story short, I ended phone conversation and started another with me…
Me: Now, WHY the world did you carry on like that?
Myself: Because folk are forever not allowing me to say what I want to say, HOW I want to say it.
I: Does HE treat you that way?
Me: Okay, so, not in general, no.
Myself: Have you let him know, in a calm voice, how you feel.
I: Okay, so why the world do I have to ALWAYS be ‘calm’ when I want to communicate?
Me: Well, you don’t. But, it DOES help, to share these feelings, when you are not all up in your feelings.
Myself: Hhmm, you may be right!
I: Of course, I am ALWAYS right.
*Cassandra grabs some act right and goes in search of her big bro*
brb,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Us humans can be, well, humans. Smh. Meaning, we can be really dumb, at times. It’s okay to be a moron. It’s NOT okay, to remain a moron. Folks are NOT mind readers. The friends, family, peers, in or lives care about us and do the best they can to understand us. It is incumbent to grow and learn. Even, when we cut up. Especially, when we cut up.
Keep doing YOUR work, beloveds. If the relationship is important to you, keep communication open. Clunky, thought it can be. Keep trying. Keep giving yourself the space to annoy yourself, and others, as you learn more about you. And, hopefully, allow others the opportunity to learn you as well.
And, if the other side, decides they are not ready/willing/able to struggle with you towards a viable relationship, wish them well and keep it moving. I move with you…
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 