Month: May 2023

Don’t let someone else’s game to throw you off YOUR game.

The NBA Conference Semi Finals are on. One team is playing great. The other, not so much. This used to irritate me, greatly. When the team I rooted for played like dummies, did some especially DUMB sports related things, in my eyes, I would have ten kinds of fits.

Worse, if after having lost due to said sports dumbness, in MY eyes, I would be annoyed for hours. Fuming, fussing, debating if I would EVER watch them again. That is, until the NEXT game. Rinse. Repeat.

As you can imagine, this can be quite exhausting. Also, this took away from enjoying the game. Tying THEIR loss, to MY life, was super ridiculous….*shrug*. Don’t judge me, too harshly, anyway. It’s what us sports geeks tend to do..*shrug*.

I had a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong talk with myself and determined to TRY and enjoy the teams TRY and not worry, tooooooooooooo terribly much, about who wins or lose. Egads and Yikes, at times, can be hard to do, still.

Still, I try. Last night, the team I was rooting for, had the NERVE TO LOSE!!!!!!!!!

Ehem…sorry ’bout dat…….hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Note, I am a work, in progress.

I say all of that, to say this:

Your worth, your value, your progress, or lack there of, has ZERO to do with someone else’s wins or losses.

Don’t let someone else’s game to throw you off YOUR game.

Play.

Win.

Lose.

Try.

Try, again.

Try, some more.

It’s ALL in the try. Until your team loses, of course.

TRYing,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Love spilling over.

My heart has been soooooooooooooooo full of love, today, it is spilling over every which way. All day, I have been running around giving fresh baskets of oyster crackers and goulash, MY way.

Like a dummy, life tried to dump someone else’s hurt and shame, in my heart, and I was having NONE of that. Ha! Just gave out MY love, and kept it moving.

Hurt folk hurt folks. If, someone says or does something that wounds…

Keep on loving them. Most likely, they already feel like ten kinds of an idiot for having spoken hastily or from a wounded place.

I can not even tell you how many years I spent, wasted and lost, living all up in my feels….*sigh*.

Now, I acknowledge my feelings. Depending on which feels show up, I:

Sit with it, a while.

Talk with it, for a time.

Tell it to kick rocks, as needed.

Fill it with love, liberally, as Directed.

Laugh with it.

Laugh at it.

Laugh at me.

Then, I grab hold of some act right, and get to getting after it.

Ah, beloveds, I have soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much love spilling over.

Wish I had more time to yak at you. There is an entire world to pray for and send my love towards.

*hugs self*

*hugs the world*

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

Love someone, today. Start with you.

full,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Home-cooking: Enjoying my try.

I enjoy cooking.

Enjoy reminiscing, with mom, whilst preparing my brand of whatever the world I feel like making/creating.

Some days, I shall dump a can of green beans in everything in sight.

Other days, me and potatoes have a mad, passionate affair.

At times, I don’t feel like doing anything other than tossing a couple of eggs in a pan, thrusting them this way and yon.

However I cook, I am just enjoying cooking. I find it comforting. I grow proud of myself when I remember to do what mom said and cleaned up as I am cooking. This way, you don’t have ten piles of dishes waiting, after food is done.

I enjoy writing. I have NO idea what is fixing to fall out of my heart. None. Nada. Zilch. This thrills me, immensely.

I love it when I use too many commas. I love it when I use too few of them. It’s my way of writing MY way. I know. I know. The editor, in some, cringe or avoid me, completely…*shrug*. Different strokes for different folks.

I am especially loving, my writing try, now, because I no longer worry about what this one is thinking, why that one didn’t read, why the world those folk thought this, that and the other thing. Now…*shrug*. I just cook. MY way. And, if folks don’t care for the fare, there are plenty of other cooks, out there.

I enjoy reading other blogs. I learn so much from them. I laugh. I cry. I have my particular folk I could literally yak to, about their pieces, ALL day. Instead, I do my silent sneak and grow from each piece. I can NOT tell you, how much my heart rejoices when I see their pieces show up in my inbox!…*hugs self*. I enjoy their cooking. I used to think I ‘should’ respond/comment to each and every comment so they would know how much they meant. Good yikes none of us have time to comment on every blog or interesting thing we see.

Life is good. Even the trying parts of it. I enjoy the concoctions, I toss around, with God and Life. We have come up with some interesting fare, lemme tell you.

I am feeling in the mood to make some…

Who knows?

God/Life knows and They ain’t tellin’.

pondering,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Get to cooking, beloveds. The world NEEDS your particular goulash/meal. Make as little or as much as you like. Spice it up or down, as YOU choose. Add this. Remove that. ALL you are asked to do is to TRY, YOUR way. After having cooked, serve. Don’t waste another second feeling down/bad about who or who does not show up. The meal will get to those meant to eat. And, for the hurt folks who are too hurt to accept/receive your meal….*compassionate sigh*. Forgive them. Love them. Keep on serving them, anyway. It’s not personal. Their guilt, pain, anger, hurt, dismay, shame, fear, doubt, anxiety etc are just getting in the way. Love them, while they learn to love themselves. It will help you love YOU harder.

Remember, always:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

I love you.

As does He.

Love us back, would you? Please and thanks.

Kicked to the curb: Those buttons don’t work anymore.

So, pride showed up. In disguise. Pride is such a coward, you see. So much so he has to hide behind righteous anger and indignation. He creeps in amongst the smallest of slights. He rushes in with disappointment/disillusionment. He hides within the icky feelings of embarrassment, uncertainty and I don’t know HOW.

This morning, pride slid in, got to tapping on keys…

HHmm.

Huh?

*Cassandra stared, with amusement, as pride poked here, prodded there, only to flounce out in defeat.*

I could have told pride, had he asked, that THOSE dogs, no longer hunt. THOSE keys, no longer work with or on me. The ONLY keys I allow myself to be moved by are orchestrated by:

The Father.

The Son.

The Holy Spirit.

Me.

Life.

My family? Meh….hahahahahahahahahaha.

Yes, I care about fam, friends, my job, my community, the world etc. That said, I no longer allow myself to be carried about on THEIR whims, worries, frustrations and the like. I let them do their work. I do my best to do mine.

What is their work, you ask?

Great question.

Keep asking them.

In the meantime, try not to allow your buttons to be pushed by those/that which does not serve you or your fellow man.

I kicked my buttons to the curb, quite some time ago. Thankful I did. Life is much more enjoyable.

living a buttonpushedless life,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, so the entire piece was a note, don’tcha think? LOL. Be encouraged. You got this. God and Life has us all.

Pride Mountain.

This morning presented a wonderful test for me to take.

Early.

Yikes!

Egads!

What’s worse, I got ZERO notice. The test just showed up and showed out.

Afterwards, I was presented with Pride Mountain. Man, that’s a HUGE sucker!

*Cassandra wandered around, Pride Mountain, wondering how, if and when to:

Scale it.

Leave it be.

Move around it.

Deal with it.

Hhhmm….

*Cassandra considered if she should take the hardest route and use the high road. Seeing not many souls going this way, Cassandra wandered over to the route many appeared to be roaming blindly towards. Cassandra, for the life of her, could NOT understand why so many appeared to be locking their hearts within prisons and cages of anger, hurt, skepticism, dismissal, doubt, anxiety and so many cages having NOTHING to do with the issue at hand. Folks would STILL have to deal with Pride Mountain, eventually. Except, now they had to do so all locked up with anger, hurt, skepticism, dismissal, doubt, anxiety and so many other cages having NOTHING to do with the issue at hand.*

Hmmm…

*Cassandra considered what was more important:

Being right.

Giving Love.

Period.

End of story.*

Hmmm…

*Cassandra decided to take the ONLY road that works with Pride Mountain:

NO road!*

*Cassandra told Pride Mountain to go on ahead and take THREE seats, chose to keep loving and kept it moving.*

Ha!

Life is much too short to waste any more of it, hiding behind walls and all the ridiculous things we hide behind and do when life, situations, or folks do not respond/act in ways we don’t care for, wish for, ask for and all the fifty bajillion what fors folks tend to be and do.

CHOOSE to keep your act right acting right.

Swallowing pride no longer bothers me. In fact, as soon as I see it creeping up, I go on ahead and punch it dead in the face and face what needs to be faced.

I must admit, taking the high road, in life, means you don’t get to use tasty zingers to put folk in there place and make you, supposedly, feel better. Nope, means you don’t get to huff out, in a somehow satisfying, though short lived, way. Nada, means you can’t have ANY of the hard earned, hard feelings you have.

Life is short, beloveds. How much more of it are you going to spend on Pride Mountain? Hopefully, not another second. I know I have no plans on going up there. Ha!

Take care and KNOW:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Are you?

Are you?

Are you…

Going to give up?

When you don’t get your way?

Are you?

Are you…

Going to quit?

When you don’t get your say?

Will you?

Will you…

Walk away?

When asked to go out of your way.

Will you?

Will you…

Give in?

Give in when life refused to be swayed?

Is it all about you?

Or…

Are you.

Will you.

Choosing to:

Love?

No matter what?

Are you?

Are you…

Going to choose your pride?

Over another’s love/care?

Will you?

Continue to choose your fear?

Over the love/care of others?

To heck with that!

*Cassandra turns from the mirror and chooses love. Cassandra drags pride into the shower with her and leaves it there.*

choosing to love even when folks choose to act ten kinds of fool,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life will present you with a million reasons why you ought to pop it upside the head and tell it to take two seats, get on the curb and leave us alone! Choose love. The rest will come out in the wash. And, if you are the one currently being a dummy, stop it and come from behind your walls of pride, hurt, anger, fear, anxiety and all the other dumb things we allow to keep us from loving, from being loving and from growing. To hooey with all that. Get back to being about being about it.

Have awesome day and remember you are loved and never alone.

Disappointment has disappointed, yet again.

Disappointment has disappointed me.

Yet again.

Yet, again, I continue, to try.

So, disappointed.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, disappointing.

Seems as though disappointment, is making a point.

I get it.

I GET IT!!

I shall try, yet, again.

Yet again.

*sigh*.

disappointed even now,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Am chasing down my dreams, best as I know. To not see things progress, to MY satisfaction, has been terribly disappointing. That said, I absolutely REFUSE to allow disappointment, in not having my dream fulfilled, bleed into being disappointed with life. Life is doing what life needs to do. All I can do, must do, is to TRY. That’s it. Try, pray, ask, wait, patiently, and…*shrug*.

The silence, is disappointing. The never ending wait, is disappointing. The mental fatigue, is fatiguing. Nevertheless, the joy, in the TRY, no matter how disappointing, is satisfying.

Keep going, beloveds. Disappointment comes. That’s okay. Talk with it. Ask why it is so disappointed. The answer(s) may surprise you. My disappointment laments it just wants an opportunity. To, succeed. To, fail. To, see what lies over the next hill or around the next corner. Turning one corner, only to find ANOTHER long road or uphill jaunt can be, has been…disappointing. Enjoy the journey. I love you.

Loving you still.

Ah, Life, I am loving you, still.

Still, even though, you are not giving up your secrets to me.

Even, still, when you won’t open the stores, of heaven, and pour dreams so big I can barely contain them, upon me.

Still, even though, I have no idea, where I am going, where you are leading, me.

Ah, Life, I am loving you, still.

Oh, Lord, I am loving you, still.

Still, even though, Your Silence, is growing louder and louder, each day.

Even, still, when You Won’t open doors, for me.

Ah, Lord, I am loving you, still.

Hey, Father, I am loving You, still.

Still, even though, You are leading me down a lonely path, one where I can barely see.

Even, still, when You won’t make my paths straighter.

Hey, Father, I am loving You, still.

Oooo, you, I am loving you, still.

Still, even though, you can’t get/keep your act right, at times.

Even, still, when your get up and go has got up and gone.

Yea, you, I am loving you, still.

*Cassandra turns from the mirror, loving life, Life, God, herself…still*

still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Unapolgetically me: I may not have tomorrow.

I have been trying to be good. I promise I have. I told myself I would limit myself to posting three times, only. Yep. Yeppers, I PROMISED myself, beloveds, I would NOT flood this blog, then your inbox, with pages and pages of love, endless yakking and lots of coffee and foolishness.

I told myself I would write the pieces, save them as drafts, and gingerly sprinkle them, through your tomorrows.

My heart, though, keeps reminding me, I may not have tomorrow.

Tomorrow, beloveds, is NOT promised. The only promise we have, currently, is the current moment. That’s it. Even then, we have NO idea how many moments, in this day, currently, we have left.

Also, I am just tired of having to censure myself from caring so much.

I care.

A lot.

So, what?

There are much worse things to be accused of, after all.

So, I shall continue to love the only way I know how:

Loudly.

Fully.

Proudly.

Joyfully.

Presently.

Intentionally.

Gladly.

Unrepentently.

And all the other ly’s one can/may think of.

So, what?

loving you unapologetically,

Me(aka Cassandra)

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Nuff said. Get to living it. What the world are you waiting for!? Get after it…

Unapologetically me.

I have been waging a war…with me.

My heart, my writer, my being, now free, just can’t stop writing, just can NOT stop being…me.

Me, this me, the heart that can NOT contain all these words inside me.

Oh, beloveds, how I have tried, 54 years long, to stop being sooooooooooooooooo much. Ah, beloveds, I have tried, desperately so, to not care so blasted much. Yea, beloveds, I have tried, to keep my care, to the expected, accepted, the quiet minimum.

Yet, ah heart, I just can’t contain these words, this me, God’s oyster cracker, called me:

Sweetpea.

Jaybird.

Cassandra.

Endless yakker.

Oyster cracker.

God’s goulash.

Jesus’ best bud.

the enemy’s fiercest foe.

The worlds’ sister and friend.

Ah.

Aha!

This is ME, Cassandra, Jaybird, Sweetpea, loving me some you, loving me some me, loving me some Him, unapologetically.

I apologize, world, that I can NOT apologize, for being…me.

For, world, I was beautifully, yea wonderfully made, the bible says.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

I shall continue to live, grow, be unapologetically…

ME!!

*hugs self*

I encourage you, beloveds, to do the same.

Life is short.

Join me.

In being.

Unapologetically…YOU.

being unapologeticaly me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep on being you. Life is much too short to be about being someone else. Folk have a hard enough time trying to be themselves. What the world makes you think you qualified to be them when THEY don’t know why they do half the things they do? Enough of that. Be you. Since there is only one you, may as well enjoy being you, eh? Take care and KNOW, of a surety, that you are nolved and that you are not alone.