God gave me everything.
Everything but money.
I had asked for money so I could get me some:
Peace, of mind.
Rest, of spirit.
Time, to write.
Lightened shoulders, from having bore so much financial weight pressure.
Time to deal with loss of loved ones, lost dreams, tough things I have been saving up to deal with ‘when I found the time’.
All of those things added up to one awfully tired soul. Me. Me, to the core of me. I was soul tired. Only someone who has been, who is currently soul tired will know what it means to be tired to the depths of all you are.
Lately, I have been feeling every bit of my 54 years. Usually, I enjoy being my age. Means I have been through hell and back and am STILL kicking hind end and taking names. Recently, I have been feeling my mortality. I have been wondering if I have done all I know to be the best version of me I can. I think so. I hope so.
In the meantime, my secret soul tired was dragging down the days. Silently. Secretly. Stalking me at every turn. Around EVERY corner, this death gripping tired was making me…
TIRED.
Sleep, did not help this kind of tired.
Distractions, did not help this kind of soul crushing kind of tired.
Talking to God helped.
Reading the bible helped.
Yakking with Jesus helped.
Talking to fam helped.
For a while.
Then….
WHAM!
I would awake and soul tired would tap me on the shoulder and remind me it was time to get going. I would strap soul tired, onto stooped, weary, old shoulders and be about it as best as could. Not easy with soul tired dogging my every move.
For the last little while, I have been climbing on The Father’s Lap and telling Him all about my soul tired. I didn’t use to. I used to hide THAT from Him. Couldn’t very well admit to THAT, could I?
One day, soul tired told me she was tired and told me to let Him know. So, I began to take soul tired with me as I sat on His Lap. Little by litle, The Father and soul tired became fast friends. Over time, they would shoo me away and talk quietly together: soul tired and He.
And, He would never tell me what they spoke about. All I know is each time I left them, soul tired and The Father, I felt lighter. It was as though they were keeping a pebble and restoring my soul.
Soon, my shoulders were free from the soul crushing tired. I felt light. I felt free!
Amazing.
See, I had been praying for, stubbornly, money so I could take time off so I could get free of soul tired. Who knew I didn’t need money at all?!
ALL I needed, was to place my soul tired, in HIS Hands and let Him do His work in my heart, in my life, in my spirit, in my situation, in my…everything.
Ah.
Aha!
Life is fantastic.
Now, I no longer have to wait, for God and Life to remove the weight, from all that weight me down.
It feels good to be at peace.
Finally.
Free.
Weight-less.
Weighted down, by love.
His.
Mine.
He gave me everything but what I asked for.
Which was everything I needed.
content,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: The weight you carry need not be carried. Let Him take the weight. Be encouraged. Rest. Remember you are loved and you are not alone.
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 