Month: June 2023

Don’t let doubt have the last word.

Me and doubt have been fighting.

For weeks.

Doubt says my dreams will NEVER come true.

I doubt that.

I told doubt my time WILL come.

Doubt laughed and said, I doubt it.

I told doubt that no doubt it had NO clue what God and Life had in store for me.

Doubt just kept laughing, doubting I understood the magnitude of my failure.

Ha!

I doubt that!

Doubtless,  I informed doubt I was choosing to believe anyway. Told doubt God would come through. In HIS time.

Like Doubting Thomas, doubt said it needed to see some proof.

I told doubt that I doubted God or Life would give it the time of day.

I shared, with doubt, ALL of the things God and Life had already saw me through. I asked doubt how it could doubt God’s promises after all I HAVE accomplished.

Doubt began to doubt and told me it would be right back.

I told doubt not to bother about coming back and to stop bothering me.

I wonder if it shall come back after it’s latest defeat?

I doubt it!

doubting everything but Him,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s okay to fight with doubt. Just don’t allow doubt to win. Doubt just likes to make sure you mean what you say. Do you? Ah. Aha!

Get out of your feels.

Get out of your feels!

Your feels do NOT speak for your future.

Your feels have NO idea what is in store for your life.

Your feels are blind. So, your feels can get all up in it’s feels and will then allow themselves to feel:

Afraid.

Alone.

Weary.

Tired.

Discouraged.

Discombobulated.

Dis, dat, and the other thing.

Tell feels to get out they feels and get back to trusting. Tell feels to get some act right whether they feel like acting right or not!

Get out of your feels, beloveds. It’s okay to have your feelings. It’s important to allow yourself to feel.

Yet, we can NEVER allow our feels to take over and scare us half to death with their tales of woe of which they no not what’s coming.

The ONLY thing we do know is life changes. On the daily. On the regular. Yet, we MUST remain steady, unmoved, reliable.

We are no longer children who have to be forever coddled and cuddled. We understand life is just that. Life. Life MUST be lived on it’s own terms. We don’t get to change things because we all up in our feels getting in God and Life’s way.

I say this to myself as well as you, beloveds. If I had listened, to my feels, I would have stopped writing ages ago. I would have given up, years ago. I would have counted myself out, long time ago.

Now, I have NO idea if the only one who will ever see this blog is me. No matter. I have grown. So much. From trying. From reaching out. From encouraging myself to keep believing in and for folks.

Your participation is welcome. Yet, my try is not contingent upon you. It used to be, I admit. My try used to be, at times, a direct reflection of who would or who would not reach back when I loved.

When silence greeted me back, I hurt. I withdrew from God, from Life, from me.

No longer.

I love.

I reach out.

The silence still hurts.

Yet, I shall love anyway.

Someone needs to know they are loved and that they are NOT alone. I have hope my words shall find them. I pray daily th words find them.

Will they?

Will they, if found, be enough?

I may never know.

This no longer matters to me.

All that matters is you, beloveds.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

You may not be everyone’s flavor.

That’s okay.

Your too much IS someone else’s just right.

So, get out your feels and keep trying.

Your turn SHALL come.

Your turn is already here.

here for you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I was all up in my feels this morning. Had a nice pity party. Let myself have a fantastic one. Then made my feels get up and get on with the rest of my day. Life is short. Get going.

My dream(s) have awakened: Lucky Charms at midnight.

I am stirred.

Stirrings are stirring me.

So stirred, I find myself steered towards another smartly purchased box of Lucky Charms.

This time, I find my dreams beckoning me. Like the prize, in a box of Cracker Jack, my heart scrounges to find SOMETHING within each spoonful of Lucky Charms.

Lucky Charms makes me feel like an innocent kid, once again.

Diving in, milk rudely tumbling down old cheeks, I find the kid who dreamed of sitting in front of a crashing ocean, writing of all the things life may have in store for me.

Decades later, I spoon my dreams and wonder if I will ever hold them, within my own hands.

Who knows?

I can still dream.

I do.

I find Lucky Charms to contain the wisdom of the wide world to this child heart, called me.

Where shall I go?

What shall I grow up to BE?

I hope I never grow up.

I hope I always stay this searching, silly, serious, ridiculous, coffee drinking, be about being about it goofball who believes…

Who believes.

Ah.

Aha!

believing in spite of every evidence to the contrary,

Sweetpea(aka Cassandra)

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Your dreams are just that. YOURS. Dreams. They are precious. They are priceless. As are you. Life is short. Have a bowl of Lucky Charms with me and wonder/wander amongst your dreams. I shall continue to ask God and Life to help me make some come true. Who knows? God does and He ain’t telling.

I love you.

Keep loading…

Keep loading.

It’s hot.

I’m tired.

Dishes have started to pile up.

A sign, old habits, are wanting to come back.

A sign, fatigue is trying to make a coward of my try.

I keep reminding myself to keep loading the dishwasher.

I keep reminding myself to keep loading my mind with positive things.

I keep reminding myself to keep loading my heart/spirit with uplifting things.

There are so many things I could be loading my mind with:

Bills.

More bills.

Less money.

No money.

Yikes!

*Cassandra reminds herself to keep loading the dishwasher and keep it moving.*

Gotta go, beloveds, the dishwasher calls.

Be encouraged.

Keep going.

I know the length of the hard can get to be trying. Keep trying. I am with you. I just want to plop down, in the middle of the road, and have a big tantrum. Is much too hot for that. Whew! Who knows? What we are waiting for may be just ’round that next bend. Cmon. Let’s go. We got this…

Dance/sing your way out.

I am singing.

I am dancing.

I am caterwalling.

Life is being life. Yet, I am singing, dancing, caterwalling my way out.

I didn’t used to. Not, for me. I would encourage the world. I would tote their hard. I would champion their this, the thats, and the other things. For, them. Yet, for me, often, I would be so tired, so defeated, so just over it I would dismiss me and think ‘It’s just you. You will get to yours later’. Dummy me.

No more.

I fight as hard, if not more so, for ME, as I do, for the world. I OWE it, to me, to give my all. ALL of me. To, for, with me.

My life matters.

It does.

MY thoughts matter.

They do.

MY heart matters.

It sure enough does.

So, I find myself, here, now, laughing with the hard, as I sing, dance and caterwall my way through this thing called life.

This morning, day had to drag me out of the bed. And, I mean dddddddddddddddddddddddrrrraaagggg me, kicking and screaming, to the bathroom, out the bathroom, to the Kuerig, past the Kuerig, into work attire, to my workstation. Then, poor day, had to pop my fingers, to get them moving. Yep, day even had to borrow my foot and have it tap my rear, tastefully yet firmly, to get me to getting after it.

Now, day and I are having a blast. We are working through the hard. We are fighting the good fight. Yes, I am tired. Yet, day keeps on telling me to keep going, keep trying, keep growing, keep on showing up. It sure is hard to ignore day when she is all fired up this way. Makes me want to keep going.

Even God, Life, Jesus, Yikes!, Egads! and the rest showed up to keep me lifted through some unexpected grief and extra tired which showed up, on my doorstep, last night. Dummy night let them both in whilst I was sleeping…*pout*. Super glad day had things already worked out. God and day had been coversing. God reminded day this was the day that He had made for me to rejoice in. Day reminded me of this, I agreed. Off we went and told night to go on ahead and kick dem rocks. Night kicked. Day and I kicked a-…*opps*…ehem…..

Sing, dance, your way out, through, with hard.

You got this.

You can.

You shall.

You already have.

rooting for all,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

You are blessed.

You are blessed.

If you got up this morning…

You are blessed.

If you can read these words…

You are blessed.

If you can comprehend these words…

You are blessed.

If your get up and go has somehow stayed…

You are blessed.

If you have a roof over your head…

You are blessed.

If you have a meal in your tummy…

You are blessed.

If you have fam/friends who care…

You are blessed.

If you have love in your heart…

You are blessed.

If your try is trying still…

You are blessed.

If your coworkers laugh at your corny jokes…

You are blessed.

If you have a ridiculous sense of humor…

If you can put one foot in front of another when the other part of you just wants to get gone…

You are blessed.

If you can laugh with, in spite of, tears…

You are blessed.

If you have a goof like me, in your life…

You are blessed.

I am.

*Cassandra turns from the mirror and carries on with her blessed life.*

blessed,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. We are all blessed more than we know. Count yours. Bet you have more than originally thought, eh?

Prep(aration) takes time.

Ah.

I just finished doing my meal prep for the next couple of days: Veggies and grilled top sirloin. Followed up with a brilliant lime jello vintage 2023!ο₯°

I also ran the dishwasher, tossed in some laundry and cleaned up from meal prep.

It’s awfully satisfying to have all done early. I didn’t used to be so helpful to myself.

I kept telling myself I will start to meal prep. I promised I would keep the dishes out of the sink. I waxed eloquently on the need to cut out the chips, chocolate and soda.

I daydreamed of how my life would look once I started doing those things consistently.

The only problem is I was waiting, apparently, for some divine decree or mood, from on high, to get going.

Finally, I realized nothing was going to happen until I MADE them happen whether I felt like it or not. I started slowly. I made a bit of jello. Got used to that. I moved on to chili. Got used to that.

I switched to different meats and veggies. Now, I have mastered meal prep, clean up and it is super satisfying.

From there, I made myself get my chores done, on the regular. Not making excuses, I get everything cleared out of the way. Feels nice to know I don’t have to load the dishwasher before I start my day.

I have tomorrow’s pieces written and ready for send off.

The washer is humming along, companionably, as I jot these words.

It sure feels good to see good habits having taken over lazy, old habits.ο₯°

It’s important to give yourself time to build some healthy life habits. Don’t get discouraged if old habits get to being stubborn. It all comes out, in the wash.

In the meantime, be good to you.

getting prep(ared),
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Fix-her-upper: Invest in you.

I am one of those fix-her-upper.

You know, one of those run down, dilapidated houses you can buy cheap, fix, then sell for an exorbitant price.

I am going to be worth millions, I tell ya, once I am all dolled up and fixed.

*Cassandra daydreams about a day where her home, being her body, is all fixed up. Almost new. Shiny. Warm. Inviting. She shall have a wrap around porch. She shall have inviting porch furniture. Folks shall be able to sit and visit and daydream upon her porch steps. She shall have pretty curtains adorning spotless bay windows.

Inside, she shall have lovingly polished hard wood floors. Floors just meant to dance on, in socks and undies, of course. In the dark, in the sunlight. Her kitchen shall be filled with stainless steel appliances ready to produce lovely breads, goulash and especially oyster crackers!

Her living room shall have comfy seating where God, Life, Yikes!, Egads!, Jesus, Michael(archangel), mom and herself could play endless games of gin rummy. No cheating mom! The basement and actic will contain…nothing! Her heart, mind and soul has been set free of ALL baggage. Ah!*

Yassssssssssss, I am a fix-her-upper. I have invested much love, much try, much prayer, much fight, much tears, much this, much that, much the other thing, to get me to the place where I am:

Livable.

Loveable.

Maintained.

Precious.

Priceless.

This, me, a place before considered non essential, by me, is my most prized possession: Me.

Me!!

I am unique.

I have been restored.

I have been transformed.

I am continually being…

Remade.

Renewed.

Used.

Lived in.

Loved on.

Come, seek shelter. This world can be a cold place. I have goulash and an oyster cracker to share. If you ask nicely, I may pour you a nice glass of lemonade. Made, by my own hands. From the lemons life seems fit to send me every other five and a half seconds, it feels like…lol.

Be sure to invest in YOU, beloveds. The stock market has nothing for you. All the money in the wide world won’t help a heart lost, a heart lonely, a heart fearful, a heart anxious, a heart hiding. Love yourself. The world, if it is wise, will wisen up and love you back. If not, it is the world’s loss, not yours.

Invest in YOU. Spend time on the dream you have been dreaming. Reach out to that person you have been hesitating reaching out to. Go to the place you have been too afraid to go to. Take the job you thought you were too old, young, inexperienced, over experienced to take. Try the recipe you thought you would put too much of this in or not enough of that in.

Invest in YOU. Let folks know you could use some rest, some support. Whatever it is you are needing, let folk know. They are NOT mind readers. They barely know what the world is going on in their own minds, let alone yours. Especially us female minds….hahahahahahaha!!

Lastly, okay I don’t have a lastly. I just get a kick out of saying the word. Makes me sound super smart, to me…hehe.

Finally, don’t look at yourself and see only the fix-her-upper. See the awesome you, with the wraparound porch. We are both the fix-her-upper AND the already transformed home. Be comfy in both.

Take care. Remember ALWAY:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU>

home,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

My dream(s) have awakenened.

My dreams have awakened.

From deep inside.

They call to me.

I hear them now.

Loudly.

Calling.

To me.

To ME?!

Why me, I ask my dreams?

How can you trust ME to fulfill you, I questioned my dreams.

My dreams winked at me.

My dreams beckoned me to come to them.

Here I come.

Now.

Unafraid.

Where shall we go, I asked my dreams.

Everywhere, my dreams replied.

What shall we see, I questioned my dreams.

Everything, my dreams shared.

Why did you come now, I wondered aloud to my dreams.

You were ready, my dreams reminded me.

Ready for what?

Ah.

Aha!

Come.

*Cassandra took Jesus Hand and walked into her future. *

following You,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have no idea why God chose ME to be me. I have no earthly idea why He has continued to impress on me to write. Write and let the world know that they are loved and that they are NOT alone.

I feel sooooooooooo inadequate. So many have been and are disillusioned at the word God, let alone want to believe. Due, in part, to folk who have used the name of God for their own ends.

I can only be me and offer but the oyster and goulash I am:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

God SEES you.

God LOVES you.

God CARES DEEPLY for your life.

Love your life anyway.

Love your life.

It’s YOUR life.

It’s yours.

Warts and all.

If you fall.

WHEN you fall down.

Love your life.

Anyway.

In spite of.

Despite.

Anywho.

Anyways.

Love your life.

It’s the only one you shall have.

Make the most of it.

Make the most of you.

If you don’t make it where you thought you should.

Love your life anyway.

Love yourself anyway.

Love your life.

It’s YOUR life.

You can’t live for another.

Another can’t live for you.

Live your life.

It’s YOUR life.

Live and love your way.

Anyway.

Anyhow.

Life is short.

Best get to living.

Best get to loving.

Start with you.

Even if the you you see isn’t enough for you.

Even if the you they see isn’t enough for them.

Love your life anyway.

loving life with you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said.