Category: Writing

Start again. Again!

PSA: This message may or may not contain a temper tantrum by journeys end…. 🙂

The day started out a complete and total disaster!…..ack!!!!!!!!!

Rather, I started out, out of sorts, and sorta outta hand, which made the start of the day a COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER!

Crapola!!!

Crapp!!!!!!!!!

Yikes!

Egads!

Whew!

Toldja a tantrum may emerge…..*shrug*…..

Did not sleep well.

Again.

Did not want to start the day on no sleep.

Again.

Drug my lazy can out of bed.

Again.

Too lazy to make coffee and began the work day…..big mistake…

Too lazy to make breakfast and began the work day……HUGE MISTAKE!

And, wouldn’t you know, circumstance and situations, seeing my discomfiture, decided to act a fool and my first work thing of the day I had NO CLUE HOW TO DO!!!!!!!

Fresh hell!….*stomps foot*…..*Cassandra talks herself off the to hell with all this I am going back to bed ledge and continues on with the day*

Finally figured out what I was doing wrong. Okay, someone else had to help me figure out what I was doing wrong. Ended up possibly doing the wrong thing anyway.

Ack!!!!!!

Frustrated, out of sorts, ready to tell the world to go kicks some rocks, I decided to get some act right, took a breath, and took five minutes to regroup.

My saving grace was keeping my music going the whole time. Stomped around, thought of kicking the garbage(thought better of the mess and kept my angry foot to myself), fussed at the dishwasher(already ran the dishes through), looked at the enemy combatant computer for having the NERVE to expect me to work today KNOWING I was up most of the night glaring at it knowing it awaited me, swatted the terror storm of gnats that came with the last storm, suffocated from the awful humidity, stomped to the ac and flipped it on, listened to super upbeat music, fussed it was too blasted happy given I was out of sorts and trying to stay mad and have an excuse to pout all day, listened to more uplifting music, forgot to remain mad, tapped my foot whilst working, found my out of sorts didn’t like not being paid attention to and outta sorts sorta made it’s way out the house.

*Cassandra does jig round the apartment. Cassandra tries to remember what the world she was out of sorts about and raging about*….hmm….*shrug*…..

After grabbing breakfast, some life’s blood, meaning coffee, the day right itself. So, I started, again. Again!

Who knows? I may well have to start again, again, yet, AGAIN!

Doesn’t matter how many times we start.

ALL that matters is that we start.

And, start again.

And, start again.

Don’t ALLOW a bad start to the day, to be the end of your day. Begin! Again! Find the good, in your day. You get yet another opportunity to grow, love, succeed, hope, have joy, live, love some more, have some awesome moments, have some terrifying moments, have some terribly upsetting moments.

I’m taking one of my moments to say ‘we got this, beloveds’.

Fear can kick rocks. Despair and discouragements can join fear and kick more rocks. If you need to get up in your feelings, get up in the positive ones. Tell yourself some truths:

You CAN make it.

You CAN take it.

You WILL succeed.

You WILL receive love.

You HAVE joy.

You HAVE peace.

You HAVE love.

You just have to receive these things.

That, and TRY, of course…..lol…..

keep going, keep TRYing, keep loving,

Cassandra STRONG

Your moment(s).

The Olympic Trials are going on. Athletes, trying to fulfill lifelong goals, of being selected to be on the Olympic Team.

I love the Olympics. Love the Olympic Trials. I love seeing folks dreams fulfilled. Of making the team.

The Olympics, The Games, as they are often called, almost seems like a side note.

Thousands of athletes, straining to make just a few slots. To be selected, chosen, based upon their best effort, based upon their best try.

My heart goes out to the ones who don’t make it. They had the same goal. They gave the same full effort. Yet, THEIR try was not enough. They gave their all, all they had.

They fell short. They must wait, for more years, to try again. For many, for most, they only had the one shot. They only had the one moment, or moments, to show themselves worthy of being selected.

This world celebrates the ‘winner’, has very little, if no use for, those who have not won, succeeded, conquered, excelled.

What struck me, though, more than the winners and losers, was the notion that each athlete had fought, clawed and dreamed their way to what was most important: His/her/their MOMENT. All the athletes talked of was wanting the opportunity to try. They just wanted to TRY! Wanted to give their best and would live with the outcome.

It was amazing, seeing the gratitude, seeing the joy, seeing the enthusiasm when they realized their dream, their chance, their MOMENT, had arrived. Arrived from their hard work, from their tenacity, from their relentless pursuit, from their TRYing, even when there want to didn’t want to.

Each one, stepped to the line, took a breath, and let the MOMENT have it’s way with their TRY. God and Life cheered them on. Some won, most lost. ALL tried. ALL gave all that they had. There was great victory, in their TRY.

Tears were had. By the winners, by those who did not finish first. Yet, did they finish last? I think not. I cheered the ones who crossed the line, first. I hooted and hollered for all who passed the line, period.

Their effort, their TRY, was worthy to be celebrated.

There are dreams I hold in my heart that I have carried for more than 30 years. Things I would like to TRY. I just want to TRY. I may fall flat on my face. That doesn’t matter. I just want to give all I have, TRY best as I can, do ALL I can and see how things shake out.

Will I get the opportunity? Will my moment(s) ever come? I have no idea. All I know is I am asking God and Life for the opportunity, for the moment(s). Til then, I will continue to live, love, give ALL that I have, ALL that I am to the moment(s) I have, now.

I will give my all, to my job. I will give my all, to my family. I will give my all, to my friends. I will give my all, to God. I will give my all, to Life.

Will I win? Who knows. Who cares. The fact that I TRY, EVERY day, is victory, for me. My Awesome Father, God, loves me. HE LOVES ME! Life fights for me! Jesus is My Bestie, My Homie, My Got-It-Going-On-Like-Popcorn! HOW much more blessed could I EVER be???!!!

YYYYYYYAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

These moments we have, called life, are ALL the moments we get. We have no idea how many we have. We know not when the last will be. We have NO idea when those we love and care about will run out of moments.

These are YOUR moments. Time to get to the starting line, dontchathink?

starting with you,

Cassandra DETERMINED

If you are having trouble getting started, just get started.

I did NOT want to get out of my comfortable bed. Just did NOT want to get started, for some reason.

So, I did the next best thing: just got started….*shrug*.

Once I got started, I could get started on the rest of my day.

Turns out, by just getting started, I got myself started, which made me start rocking out, to some fab music, which started my dance moves, which started joy up in my spirit, which started my day to rock with me.

Me and my day started handling the business of the day. Which caused God and Life to get started on Their part in my day. So, me, my day, God and Life ALL started to be about life’s business.

YYYYYAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!

Some days, ya just have to get started!!

We got this, beloveds.

Get started!!

going with you,

Cassandra REVVED UP AND RET TO GO!!!

#YouMatterToMe

All you have to give is ALL you have to give. May as well give all you have.

I’m too old.

I’m too young.

I don’t have the right education.

I don’t have the right connections.

I don’t have…

I don’t have…

I don’t have….

Seems like we can come up with a billion reasons to not do what we could do if we knew we could do with what we had to do the thing with!….lol…..

God and Life have equipped us with ALL we need to succeed in this thing called life. And, the extra things, to help us out, They can, have and shall provide for us.

We already have enough obstacles to overcome. No need adding in doubt, fear and their ilk.

Your best will be what is best, for your situations, your circumstances. All you need to do is to give all you have, TRY, and wait.

The outcome is not for you to concern yourself with.

All you have to give is all you have. Don’t give yourself such a hard time. Don’t compare your journey to other folks. Most of them hiding, existing, pretending anywho. You just keep on being you, doing you, TRYing, giving your best, loving best you can.

The rest will come out, in the wash.

Remember, beloveds, there is only one YOU. No one else has what you have to give. No one, but YOU can do what God and Life has called you to do. No one else, can be all YOU can be. There is NOBODY else like you. No one.

All you have to give, beloveds, is all you have. May as well give your all, don’t you think?

Don’t forget to cut yourself some slack today, and moving forward. Cut others slack, as well. We all doing the best we can.

Yea, we all get on each other’s nerves. We all we got, yall. But, we all we need!

Life is short.

Live!

living with you,

Cassandra FULLY HERE

Be optimistic!

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=p66Jp6ervRA&feature=share

We fixin’ to cross the finish line, beloveds!

Be optimistic!

Look how far you have come!?

Look how much you have grown?!

See how much you have opened your heart.

See how far your faith has taken you.

Be optimistic!

ALL times pass. Both good and bad. This time is at it’s end, beloveds.

YYYYAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

We almost home, yall. We fixin’ to pull up into the driveway of our dreams!

Til then, rock some tunes. Dance a lil bit.

Take time, from the pressin’, to let the situations, circumstances, nay saying jokers know of who they be messin’ with!

We may get down, at times. Yet, we NEVER quit. We NEVER give in. We NEVER give up.

For, we KNOW, we have got this!!!!

YYYYYYYYYYYASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Be optimistic!

Tell pessimism, skepticism and all them other isms to go on ahead and kick some rocks!!

In the meantime, beloveds, don’t you EVER forget you are:

Loved.

Seen.

Heard.

Respected.

Represented.

Awesome.

Inspiring.

You changing lives, yall, just by being YOU. Just by using your TRY, EVERY DAY.

Your circumstances WILL bend to your will. They will. Just have to keep on keeping on til ya aint gotsa keep on keeping on, ya feel me?….trying to sound hip and cool. How did I do?…..hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

HA!

Laugh at fatigue. Ask it ‘what you all tired of chasing me for?’. I have a lotta more.

Shrug at hard times. Ask it ‘is THAT all you got for me? Child, please!’

Dismiss ALL things and peeps who tell you that you can’t make it, that you can’t take it.

HA!!

WHAT DO THEY KNOW???!!!!!

Mark this day, on your calendar. One day closer, one step closer….

To what?

Only God and Life knows and They ain’t tellin’. Is for YOU to find out.

As for me and mine, well, I am fixin’ to get ALL God and Life has promised me.

How ’bout you?

😉

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I love you.

I love me some me as well.

You do the same, wouldja please and thanks?

Cassandra INSPIRED

You can. You will.

Don’t give up your TRY.

No matter what.

Don’t turn loose of your TRY.

No matter who.

Don’t dismiss the power of your TRY.

No matter where.

You can do this thing, called life.

You WILL do this thing.

ALL you have to do is to keep trying.

You don’t have to win, today.

Just, try.

You don’t have to succeed, today.

Just, try.

The miles are long, no denying this.

The burden is heavy, no getting around that.

Yet, ALL God and Life requires is your TRY.

That’s it.

THEY shall do the rest.

I must admit. I have cried more, today, then I have smiled. Yet, I HAVE smiled. At my TRY. My TRY is a bad mama jamma!

She absolutely REFUSES to quit. I admire her.

I didn’t want to stand today, TRY today. All I really wanted to do was to give in and let despair have it’s way.

Hecks no!!!! Told despair to go on ‘head and kicks some rocks! Please and thanks.

I will keep keeping on til I don’t have to keep on keeping on no longer.

How long will that be?…..*shrug*……obedience has no timetable. Time is irrelevant.

You CAN.

You WILL.

As shall I.

Keep going….

Cassandra DETERMINED

Standing fast when your want to does not want to.

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

This was a tough weekend. Not going to lie. Whew! I hung in there. Barely. Will take it. 🙂

I kept telling myself to be ‘stedfast’. No matter what. No matter how I was feeling, not feeling, wish I was feeling, wish I was NOT feeling!

That’s the problem with living ‘in the meantime’. Our feelings, our flesh, just don’t want to hear it, at times.

It’s easy, then, to get ALL up in our feelings and want to pack up our toys and go home already!!!

It’s far easier, to live in the sad of the thing, instead of the mad, of the thing.

Much, much easier to allow myself to get annoyed with the wait time, then admit, experience, deal with how damn long Father’s Day weekend was!

Easier to get frustrated, at the length of the journey, then to recognize true and lasting change takes time, effort, TRY, effort, time, effort, TRY, effort, more TRY, more effort, waiting, waiting, waiting, more TRY, more effort. Rinse and Repeat.

Knowing those things, I CHOSE not to give in to the easy. I stayed with the hard. I kept TRYing. I allowed myself the space to sit with the sad of missing my dad.

I ran the dishwasher. I collected the trash. I made sure to eat. Made sure to rest, best as I could.

ALL I can do, all we can do, is to continue to stand fast. No matter what. No matter where. No matter how.

Our circumstances have NOTHING to do with standing, with living, with loving, fully. We either stand, live and love, or we don’t. Simple as that.

God and Life are not at all interested in our excuses. Neither should we be.

I did not want to lose my dad. I did not want to lose my dad. I did not want to change jobs. I did not want to lose friends and coworkers from Covid.

I do not enjoy waiting decades for unfulfilled dreams. I do not enjoy watching friends and loved ones going through things I can’t change for them.

Nevertheless, I stand.

However, I fight on.

Our want to will not always want to.

So what?

Folks who we care about will not always care for us.

So what?

Things we strive for may be a long time in coming or may never come.

So what?

The yes we are longing to hear may always be no.

So what?

Stand.

Standfast!

Be stedfast.

Unmovable.

Real talk: It’s not about your want to, beloveds. It’s about your ‘will you?’

Will you, beloved?

Will you, continue to stand, live, love, give, grow, no matter what, no matter where, no matter why, and no matter who?

Tell your want to that you are going to!

Tell your want to to get after it, then get after it.

Today, may be your day.

Tomorrow, may be your day.

Your day, may never come. The way you thought it would, should or could.

Keep going, beloveds! We almost there. We almost home. If we weren’t situations, circumstances, people, the enemy and all manner of things would not be desperately trying to convince us we will never get there. If this were true, those things would leave us to our helpless and hopeless selves.

HA!

The race is near the end. Keep going, in the meantime. Keep living, in the meantime. Keep loving, in the meantime.

You can do this. You SHALL do this.

As shall I.

standing with you,

Cassandra STRONG

Keep showing up!

Monday.

Again!

*sigh*.

Time.

Time to start over.

Again.

Time, to show up.

Again.

Time.

Time, to choose the starting line.

Again.

Time.

Time, to wonder:

Will today be the day where we get to win, finally?

Will today be the day where we lose, yet again?

Will today be the day where we give up on our dreams, on ourselves, on those never coming promises?

We won’t know, though, if we don’t go, if we don’t grow, if we don’t show up.

Showing up, EVERY day, is not easy.

Showing up, not knowing today’s outcome, is not easy.

Showing up, understanding we may lose the whole ball game today, is not easy.

Yet, we win, EVERY TIME, we push through, show up, and TRY.

The more we show up, the more we TRY, the more we come to realize how precious and priceless this ‘in the meantime’ can be if we but ALLOW it to be.

The more silent Life and God is during this ‘in the meantime’, the more I find out about me.

I find out how much I really do care. I find out at times I wish I didn’t care quite so much. I find how strong I am. I find how weak I actually am.

I find myself cheering me on more, doubting myself less. I find me giving myself more of a break. I find myself giving me less of a hard time.

We show up, at the starting line, hoping there will be folk cheering us on. We hope there are folk, hooting and hollering, along the way. We hope there are folk, waiting with a towel, an encouraging word, a hug, at race day’s end.

Often, we find, we have run, alone. Yet, again. We find, we have had to encourage ourselves. We find, we have to care for ourselves, at the end of the day.

The small victory, won, just in showing up, was viewed only by put own eyes.

*sigh*.

Sure would have been nice, we think to ourselves, to have had a cheerleader, a supporter, a caregiver today.

Whats the point, we sometimes ask, to keep showing up when there is no one to support, cheer, lead us on?

Do we, then, show up for them, for us, for God, for Life, to be seen, to win, to gain trophies, to grow, to live?

Who knows. Who cares. You could ask me those questions ten times and I could give you 25 different answers depending on my mood.

The point is to keep showing up. No matter what. No matter why. No matter where. No matter who.

We can not win, the race, if we don’t show up, for the race.

Keep showing up, beloveds.

If no one shows up, but you, so what!

Keep showing up.

If no one believes, but you, so what!

Keep showing up.

If no one tries, but you, so what!

Keep showing up.

If you show up, and lose, today, so what!

Keep showing up.

You can do this, beloveds.

You CAN.

You WILL!

We will make it, together, eh?

God believes in you.

Life believes in you.

Won’t you, beloveds, believe in you? You have doubted you, long enough. How about some extra TRY, on your behalf.

Keep showing up.

I show up with you.

We got this.

God and Life has us all.

hanging in there with you,

Cassandra TRYing STILL

Your efforts were NOT done in vain.

Your efforts, your striving, your TRYing has NOT been in vain.

Yes, it seems as though your efforts have come to naught.

Yea, the struggle still feels like a struggle and humungous waste of time.

Yea, the silence, the world, circumstances, situations all seem to be wondering why on earth you have not given up yet.

Yes, all this hollering, into this huge void, called life, seems to be resulting in the same old, same old.

DAMMIT! WE ARE TIRED OF THIS SAME OLD, SAME OLD!!!

We are ready to SEE something.

We are ready to BE something.

We are so ready to HAVE something.

Where are You, God and Life?

You promised to show up, to show out, if we did our part.

We are doing our part. When will You do Yours?

When…*sigh *.

Aha! The in the meantime, of this waiting, of this TRYing, of this striving, of this believing, of this loving, of this living, is getting a bit heavy.

God, Life, we need for You to show Yourselves, on our behalf. Fight for US, as we fight for You, for others.

We are not even sure if we can tell you how hard it is, living in the meantime. It’s not just that it’s hard, God and Life.

We can deal with the hard. It’s the silence, it’s the not knowing how long this time will last, it’s the not knowing of things will ever be as we hope or long for them to be.

We will keep TRYing God and Life. But, we need, rather we ask to see some signs, soon.

We could use some grace, some hope, some peace, and some joy, to help us keep on keeping on.

Help us to know that our efforts, that our TRY is not in vain. Help us. Help me. Help me to remember we got this.

We got this, beloveds. Keep going. No matter what. No matter where. No matter who.

Remember, you are NOT your broken pieces. You are NOT your pain.

You ARE:

Amazing.

A world changer.

A champion.

Believe. In YOU. God and Life believes in you. You got this. As do I.

Your efforts were NOT done in vain. You gave your heart. You gave your all. It is enough. As are you.

Don’t give up. Not quite yet. Stay til the end of the movie. It will be worth the wait.

Your TRY is needed.

Your TRY is needed.

Your TRY is crucial.

Your TRY causes others to want to try.

Your TRY causes Heaven to try harder, on your behalf.

Your TRY is changing lives, is changing your own.

Even, when you can’t see, the outcome. ESPECIALLY, when you can’t see it.

See, God and Life don’t want you bearing a needless burden. They don’t want you thinking you are responsible for making the thing happen, for changing the situation or circumstances. Yes, your TRY helps God, helps Life, moves things along. Yet, it is God, it is Life, who does the thing, changes the situations and circumstances.

God and Life, are The Cooks. We be the servers. Servers don’t plan the menu. Servers don’t cook the meal. Servers don’t worry about the number of patrons. Servers serve. And, collect the tips! 🙂

ALL God and Life requires is your TRY.

Did you know, beloveds, your TRY is soooooo important, folks get jealous, the world doesn’t like it, the enemy detests it, circumstances and situations are terrified of your TRY.

So, they all gang up on you. See, they are desperate to keep you from KNOWING how valuable your TRY is, how CRUCIAL your TRY is. How we ALL need your TRY. Tell them to all go kick some rocks!

Don’t you DARE let others, situations, circumstances or any other thing or person lie to you and convince you that your TRY doesn’t matter, that your works and your words don’t matter.

They do.

YOU do.

Your TRY matters.

A great deal.

Beloveds, you may never see the results of some of your TRY. Is it only the results you seek? Or, do you TRY, do you LOVE, do you CARE, do you SHARE, to be of service?

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying in order to get an expected outcome. Nothing at all wrong with day dreaming and working towards the dream, goal, relationship, situation.

The trick, the challenge, the heartbreak, is the knowledge that our TRY may not give us the outcome we were looking for. In fact, the exact opposite may happen. Or, something completely unexpected may happen. And, THAT unexpected may not be to our liking.

Our TRY, that we were hoping would benefit us, may well benefit someone else and us not so much.

Can you be okay with the results of your TRY?

Do you TRY only to gain, for yourself?

Do you TRY only to gain, for those you care for?

Do you TRY, in order to gain recognition or accolades?

Do you TRY, so long as the answer is yes?

Do you TRY, so long as the situation, relationship, job is easy/comfortable/rewarding/(insert your own words here).

Will you continue to give your TRY, when the answer is no?

Will you continue to give your TRY, when the going gets rough and stays tough?

Will you continue to give ALL of your TRY, when finding out your TRY will only benefits strangers you will never meet, outcomes you will never receive, recognition you will never ‘earn’?

Will you hold your TRY ranson, until God and Life gives you things the way you think you SHOULD have them?

Will you without your TRY, from loved ones who have disappointed or hurt you?

Will you take back your TRY, from God and Life, when you think They have disappointed or hurt you?

Does your TRY comes with strings and conditions?

For God?

For Life?

For others?

For YOU?

Does your TRY have a shelf life? Is there a limit on how much of your TRY you will give/live?

Will you TRY, still, when God and Life asks you for the extra effort you don’t feel or think you have?

Will you give your TRY, to others, knowing some may dismiss, disregard, deny your TRY?

It’s important to be honest. With yourself. With God. With Life. It’s not easy. TRYing, trying, trying, trying, trying while hearing nothing, receiving nothing, having nothing….*sigh*.

Our TRY is needed, beloveds.

There are lives God and Life can only reach with YOUR hands, with YOUR heart, with YOUR love, and with YOUR TRY. This is why you are where you are at. Not to punish you. Not to make you wait, needlessly, endlessly. But, because others are in need of you, in need of your TRY.

Keep going, beloveds.

Keep TRYing.

No matter what.

No matter where.

No matter who.

Your TRY will be honored. Your TRY is being honored, now, even as you see no fruits of your labor.

Aha!

Your fruits, your rewards, your crowns, your jewels, ARE being stored up for you, EVERY TIME YOU TRY.

Rewards gained, forever earned, forever changing your life and the lives of others. Just your TRY is changing you, changing your circumstances, changing your situation, changing your perspective.

Keep TRYing.

Keep loving.

Keep living.

Keep giving.

I try, love, live and give with you.

We got this.

God and Life has got us all.

His servant and your friend,

Cassandra TRYING STILL