Category: Writing

Feel the heat/fear. Do it anyway!

I have been wanting to go to the lake. Have heard how pretty it was. Have never been. Have been wanting to go for five years. Egads! Will get to him in a minute!

I was also starving. Hankering for some BK Original Chicken sandwiches.

Road trip!

Figured I would go to the lake, enjoy some peace, music and hang out time with God and Life.

We have been having an awful heat wave. The weather has been bad. For weeks. EVERY time I planned to go to the lake, something always came up. I was TIRED of using the heat, as an excuse. I needed to get out.

Last night, I  must admit to being a bit pitiful; alone, listening to coworkers discuss family bbq holiday plans.

I ALLOWED myself to be sad, lonely and pitiful, for a time. I find it sad that society tries to make folks feel sad about feeling, well sad, at times.

Especially, Christian folk. Good night, appears to be a crime to be a Christian with any type of feeling. Another subject for another day.

Anywho, let myself BE:

Lonely.

Lonely.

Lonely!

Woke, next day, and was done being lonely. Went about my afternoon, enjoying my solitude with God and Life. Decided to annoy my wombie and rang her up. Delicious!😎

So much so, I decided to try the lake experience.

*sinister music begins to play in the background. Foreshadowing!!👀*

Snatching up water, snickers bar, purse, keys, adventurous spirit, I hopped in Cherry 🚗, blasted my fave music and headed for beauty, lake-chilling, awesome music and hanging out with God and Life.

Full disclosure: I love mountains. Love, love love looking at them on television and on my scenic calendars. That said, I am absolutely TERRIFIED of mountain road driving. Especially the especially curvy, winding, what the hell is all this fresh hell, type windy roads.

*sinister music is up full blast about now. A terrifying monster have joined said sinister music just waiting for entrance….*sigh*👀

So, of course, the 30 MINUTE DRIVE IS ALL WINDY, TWISTY, WHAT THE FRESH HELL IS ALL THIS TWISTY PRETZEL ON STEROIDS ROADS!!!!

OMG!!!

Geez!!

GEEZ!!

Oh, yea, yall I was introduced to Geez! today. Yall already know me and Yikes! and Egads! are tight.

30 minutes! I forgot to enjoy my music. Who can enjoy music hollering ‘Geez!’ at the top of one’s lungs, anyway!

GEEZ!!

GEEZUS!!!!😱

God: Why don’t you enjoy these beautiful mountains I made for you?

Me: Can’t You see?! I am trying not to die here!!

Yikes!: Yea, we a bit busy here. Egads!

Egads!: What in the fresh hell!!??

GEEZ!: Geez! Don’t folk know how to drive!? OMG! SLOW DOWN!!

Fast forward a horrifying 30 minutes, white knuckled, I pull up to an entrance, one mile from my destination, says Google Maps, and this tiny man, in shorts two sizes too big, rushes up and yells at me:

Tiny man: Hey! You almost went the wrong way! The ranger would give you an $1,800 ticket for going the wrong way!

Me: Sir, I have never been here before. I am not from around here.

Tiny man: I don’t care.

Tiny man storms off. I get ready to head towards the lake, a mile away. Terrified, still, I remind myself I will be seeing the lake, soon. I soooo looked forward to seeing it, in PERSON. I was tired of enjoying life in picture, in dreams.

I wanted, no NEEDED, to see the lake, in person. A reminder that my other dreams would soon be lived out, by me. I wouldn’t have to keep longing for them. Would hold them, in my hands.

Whilst daydreaming and waiting my turn, tiny man came tearing back to my car:

Tiny man: So, you know it costs $5 to enter, don’t you?

Me: I had no idea. That’s fine.

Tiny man: You know we only take cash, don’t you?

Me: I had no idea. I am not from here. I don’t carry cash. Will you accept my credit card?

Tiny man: No. Most folk are like you. They only use cards. You will have to turn around.

Me:🙃💔🤷‍♀️

The next thoughts I had were not age appropriate, I must say.

It would be one thing, to have conquered my fears, and be rewarded with a pretty lake, quiet time and chillaxing.

Nope. ALL I had accomplished was a terrifying ride, only to be turned back, ONE mile, from my destination.

A metaphor for my life, this past little while.

I could have gotten angry with God and Life for not giving me the ‘heads up’. They KNOW my fears. They could have let me know what was around those terrifying bends. Rather, could have let a sista know the terrifying bends were coming, in the first place.

They could have told me to bring some cash.

Why did They remain silent?

To enjoy my terror?

No.

To take satisfaction in another experience falling short of my Hope’s, my expectations, my dreams?

No.

To take glee in me ‘wasting’ an afternoon?

No.

Why then? Will answer after describing the trip back.

OMG THE TRIP BACK!!

GEEZ!: MUST we talk about the trip back! OMG!!!!!

Me: We must…*sigh*

White knuckled, I turn around. This time, I tell myself I am going to do my best to enjoy the mountains, the gorgeous clouds, the sunshine, and return trip home.

I had to do the trip, anyway, may as well make the best of things, of the day.

It’s amazing how peaceful a winding mountain drive can be, minus screams of GEEZ! and OMG!s. I could actually hear the soothing music, enjoyed how the trees swayed this way and that. Seems like the trees were enjoying the music, the sun, the peace along with me and God and Life.

I forgot to be afraid.

I forgot my mad about being ONE mile from a five year’s daydream.

I forgot.

I lived.

Just LIVED.

The scary was no longer scary.

The scary became another precious moment.

A moment I will carry with me for the rest of my days.

Looooong after I have forgotten the initial terror, I will remember the MOMENT:

The drive.

The quiet.

The peace.

The knowledge I had faced more fears and LIVED, anyway.

It was the TRY, you see, God and Life were actually after. The lake was besides the point.

There will be other opportunities, to see the lake. At least, I hope there will be. One never knows. Life happens.

The moral of the tale, I guess, is to TRY. Just TRY. Get on out there. EXPERIENCE life. Don’t just survive it.

Don’t let the threat of ‘heat’ to keep you from getting out there and mixing it up with life.

Will I try again, tomorrow? Who knows.

I DO know, THIS TRY, has given me the confidence, the willingness, the drive to TRY something else.

God and Life had a different path and plan for my afternoon. Did it make mine unimportant? No, just meant they course corrected to another moment, to another journey. I learned more about me. I enjoyed the mountain drive. I enjoyed ME.😎

ALL we need to do, beloveds, is to TRY. That and make sure you have some cash on you, just in case! 😜🤣

Live. Love. Rejoice.

We got this.

God has us all.

I love you,

Cassandra ACCOMPLISHED

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Let’s get after it.

Let’s get after it.

Let’s ATTACK and WIN this day!

No slinking in the back way, hoping for a good outcome.

Naw, we kicking down the front, DEMANDING situations, circumstances, doubt, fear, the enemy and ALL their ilk to bow to our say so, to give way to our hope, to give in to our joy, to turn loose our dreams, to say uncle to our enthusiasm.

LET’S GET AFTER IT!!!

NO time for hiding. NO time for giving up. NO time for giving in.

The ONLY thing we giving in to is the KNOWLEDGE we got this.

So, in having got this, how ’bout we go on ‘head and get it, already!

Life is short.

Live it.

Love in it.

Have peace through it.

Hold on to your joy in the midst of it.

Allow folk to love you, and love you some folks within it.

We got this.

God and Life has us all.

Don’t allow this life, this day, to get away from you without experiencing some joy, today. Be sure to get in enough laughs to sustain your heart. Love on yourself. You are NOT alone. Your struggles are NOT yours alone.

You are loved.

You are cared for.

You are prayed for.

This day.

Tomorrow.

So long as I have breath.

I cheer for you.

I walk with you.

walk with me,

Cassandra JOYFUL AND LOVED

Yikes!

Much to share.

Much, much, much TOO BUSY at work!

Yikes!!!

Whew!!!

Good thing I can STILL tear up heaven praying for us all.

Hang in there, beloveds.

Remember, you are:

Loved.

Prayed for.

Cherished.

Special.

Needed.

Necessary.

Okay.

Okay to be okay until you are okay if you are not okay today.

Keep moving forward.

You are NOT:

Your, pain.

Your, mistakes.

Your, feelings(good and not so hot ones).

Your, situations.

Your, circumstances.

You ARE:

Growing.

Living.

Loving.

Hoping.

Expecting.

Daydreaming.

On the verge of breakthrough.

Keep it moving!

We got this!

God and Life has us all!!

How SPECTACULAR IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!???

YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!

I love me some Him. I love me some you. I love me some me.

How great is that to know???!!!

His and yours,

Cassandra INSPIRED, FIRED UP AND RET TO GO!!!!!

We got this!!

We got this!!

NOTHING shall keep us from receiving:

Love.

Peace.

Joy.

God’s Promises.

Life’s say sos.

Keep going, beloveds!.

Let NOTHING keep you from believing:

Not, you.

Not, other folks naysaying not knowing what the world they be talkin’ boutness.

Not, situations.

Not, circumstances.

ESPCIALLY not:

Fatigue.

Doubt.

Fear.

Struggle.

Trials.

We got this, beloveds!!

It’s okay to get tired, from time to time. Fighting, living, loving, growing….these things can and do get to be exhausting, at times.

That’s okay. Be tired, exhausted, etcetera. Just don’t give up, on you, on the process, on God, on Life, on folks you love, on folks who are trying to love you.

Things take time. Sometimes, sure seems like time is taking foooooooooooooooorrrrrreevvvver!

That’s okay. Just means we will enjoy the breakthroughs that much more, when they FINNNNNNAAAAALLLLY GET HERE!!!!

Lawd a mercy, can we kinda get a move on God and Life?? Take your time, though, and get our meals right wouldja please and thanks?

We got this, beloveds.

YOU got this.

Keep going.

I go with you,

Cassandra HANGING IN THERE STILL BUT GOODNESS AND GRAVY THIS TAKEN A LONG TIME LORD/LIFE…. 😉

Unapologetically, Yours.

I love You, Lord.

Unapologetically.

Thank You, for all You have done and meant in my life.

I love You, Jesus.

Unequivocally.

Thank You, for being My Best Friend.

I love You, Dad(ABBA).

Absolutely.

Thank You, for sending Your Son, My Best Friend, to let me know how much I am loved.

Thank You. ❤

I love you, unapologetically, unequivocally, absolutely!

Your Friend,

Cassandra YOURS

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Unapologetically, His. Unapologetically, yours.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=X0f8bg4XEeI&feature=share

I love me some Him.

Unapologetically.

I love me some you.

Unapologetically.

I love me some me.

Unapologetically.

I love me some Him.

Unequivocally.

I love me some you.

Unequivocally.

I love me some me.

Unequivocally.

I love me some Him.

Absolutely.

I love me some you.

Absolutely.

I love me some me.

Absolutely.

61 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

‘Nuff said!😎❤

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Cassandra HERE

Real talk: EVERYONE needs a wombie.

I am a twin.

Yep, God thought what He made was so FANTASTIC, He told Life, ‘Man, I gotsa make me another one of that one!’

Boom!

Here I came!

YYYYYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Sis and I call each other ‘wombmates’. We be wombies, yall!!

Life had taken us, in opposite directions, for a long time. I mean. A looooooooooooong time.

Long story short, God and Life, saw fit to reconnect us……*hugs self*.

It took us a while, to get on some good footing. I fussed with her. She fussed with me. Slowly, I got to know here. Slowly, she let me get to know her.

I look forward to hearing from my wombie. It has gotten to be a ‘must have’ in my day. In fact, a good phone yak, with my wombie, is a must do, before evening’s final gasp. I would make a cup of my fave coffee, french vanilla, and dial the phone.

Wombie and I would gab about anything and everything. We adore yakking about our fave subject: Our Homie, Our Bestie, Our Everything. Yea, yall know His Name……..Jesus…..yasssss…..hey there, Lord. What You up to?

Anywho, would enjoy my coffee, enjoy yakking with my wombie, untlil the next time. Rinse and repeat.

Repeat and rinse.

One day, though, I was yakking with my wombie. Was enjoying her company so much, well, I forgot to make my coffee. Realized, her company was like a nice fresh cup of coffee…..*hugs self*. I blurted out ‘you are my coffee!’.

After that, I didn’t need a cup of joe to enjoy my wombie. I would much rather spend the time it took to make and drink it, yakking, laughing, fussing, hollering, crying, loving, and LIVING with my wombie.

My wombie be my Jesus with skin on. Of course, we always invite God and Life and Jesus to hang with us as we chop up the happenings of the day.

Yes, EVERYONE needs a wombie.

If you don’t have one, ask Jesus to be Your Wombie. Ask, God and Life to be Your Wombie.

Life much too short to be experienced and lived, alone.

If you are alone now, you don’t HAVE to be. ANY TIME you choose, you can have company.

God SEES you. God LOVES you. God CARES DEEPLY for your life. Invite Him to kick it with you.

I just wanted to say, in public, what I have known in private: My wombie, she be awesome, yall. She loves me. ALL of me. Warts and all. She listens to me. She lets me cry. She lets me rant. She lets me ponder. She lets me wonder.

In short, she has helped God and Life to make me a better me. I love her. With ALL my heart…..*Cassandra makes a memo to be sure to let her wombie know how she feels*.

Sis and I have made it a point to ALWAYS say ‘love you’ before we end our conversations. I hate to end them, but can’t wait for her ‘love you’. Love how she rolls the ‘l’!!!! Makes me feel extra special.

As I sit here, day dreaming, waiting for dreams that may or may not come, one thing I KNOW I already have is the love and care of my wombie. That love enough to carry me through to journey’s end. I love my other brothers and sisters. Yet, the relationship between twins is something different.

Wombie and I were talking, last night, and feeling a bit sad for those who didn’t have a close relationhip wiht someone they could laugh with, in the middle of the night. Anyone can take a call when convenient or bored. How many folks, do you have, that you can call literally in the middle of the night to talk about absolutely nothing with? You should try it. It is awesome!!!!!!

I am grateful, to my wombie. Grateful to my other close buds, yall know who you are, who call at hours and yak about everything, nothing and all that lies in between.

Life is short, beloveds. Love some folks, would you, please and thanks.

I love you.

God loves you.

Jesus adores you.

Let them.

His and yours,

Cassandra LOVED

P.S. Love you, wombie!

Start again. Again!

PSA: This message may or may not contain a temper tantrum by journeys end…. 🙂

The day started out a complete and total disaster!…..ack!!!!!!!!!

Rather, I started out, out of sorts, and sorta outta hand, which made the start of the day a COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER!

Crapola!!!

Crapp!!!!!!!!!

Yikes!

Egads!

Whew!

Toldja a tantrum may emerge…..*shrug*…..

Did not sleep well.

Again.

Did not want to start the day on no sleep.

Again.

Drug my lazy can out of bed.

Again.

Too lazy to make coffee and began the work day…..big mistake…

Too lazy to make breakfast and began the work day……HUGE MISTAKE!

And, wouldn’t you know, circumstance and situations, seeing my discomfiture, decided to act a fool and my first work thing of the day I had NO CLUE HOW TO DO!!!!!!!

Fresh hell!….*stomps foot*…..*Cassandra talks herself off the to hell with all this I am going back to bed ledge and continues on with the day*

Finally figured out what I was doing wrong. Okay, someone else had to help me figure out what I was doing wrong. Ended up possibly doing the wrong thing anyway.

Ack!!!!!!

Frustrated, out of sorts, ready to tell the world to go kicks some rocks, I decided to get some act right, took a breath, and took five minutes to regroup.

My saving grace was keeping my music going the whole time. Stomped around, thought of kicking the garbage(thought better of the mess and kept my angry foot to myself), fussed at the dishwasher(already ran the dishes through), looked at the enemy combatant computer for having the NERVE to expect me to work today KNOWING I was up most of the night glaring at it knowing it awaited me, swatted the terror storm of gnats that came with the last storm, suffocated from the awful humidity, stomped to the ac and flipped it on, listened to super upbeat music, fussed it was too blasted happy given I was out of sorts and trying to stay mad and have an excuse to pout all day, listened to more uplifting music, forgot to remain mad, tapped my foot whilst working, found my out of sorts didn’t like not being paid attention to and outta sorts sorta made it’s way out the house.

*Cassandra does jig round the apartment. Cassandra tries to remember what the world she was out of sorts about and raging about*….hmm….*shrug*…..

After grabbing breakfast, some life’s blood, meaning coffee, the day right itself. So, I started, again. Again!

Who knows? I may well have to start again, again, yet, AGAIN!

Doesn’t matter how many times we start.

ALL that matters is that we start.

And, start again.

And, start again.

Don’t ALLOW a bad start to the day, to be the end of your day. Begin! Again! Find the good, in your day. You get yet another opportunity to grow, love, succeed, hope, have joy, live, love some more, have some awesome moments, have some terrifying moments, have some terribly upsetting moments.

I’m taking one of my moments to say ‘we got this, beloveds’.

Fear can kick rocks. Despair and discouragements can join fear and kick more rocks. If you need to get up in your feelings, get up in the positive ones. Tell yourself some truths:

You CAN make it.

You CAN take it.

You WILL succeed.

You WILL receive love.

You HAVE joy.

You HAVE peace.

You HAVE love.

You just have to receive these things.

That, and TRY, of course…..lol…..

keep going, keep TRYing, keep loving,

Cassandra STRONG

Your moment(s).

The Olympic Trials are going on. Athletes, trying to fulfill lifelong goals, of being selected to be on the Olympic Team.

I love the Olympics. Love the Olympic Trials. I love seeing folks dreams fulfilled. Of making the team.

The Olympics, The Games, as they are often called, almost seems like a side note.

Thousands of athletes, straining to make just a few slots. To be selected, chosen, based upon their best effort, based upon their best try.

My heart goes out to the ones who don’t make it. They had the same goal. They gave the same full effort. Yet, THEIR try was not enough. They gave their all, all they had.

They fell short. They must wait, for more years, to try again. For many, for most, they only had the one shot. They only had the one moment, or moments, to show themselves worthy of being selected.

This world celebrates the ‘winner’, has very little, if no use for, those who have not won, succeeded, conquered, excelled.

What struck me, though, more than the winners and losers, was the notion that each athlete had fought, clawed and dreamed their way to what was most important: His/her/their MOMENT. All the athletes talked of was wanting the opportunity to try. They just wanted to TRY! Wanted to give their best and would live with the outcome.

It was amazing, seeing the gratitude, seeing the joy, seeing the enthusiasm when they realized their dream, their chance, their MOMENT, had arrived. Arrived from their hard work, from their tenacity, from their relentless pursuit, from their TRYing, even when there want to didn’t want to.

Each one, stepped to the line, took a breath, and let the MOMENT have it’s way with their TRY. God and Life cheered them on. Some won, most lost. ALL tried. ALL gave all that they had. There was great victory, in their TRY.

Tears were had. By the winners, by those who did not finish first. Yet, did they finish last? I think not. I cheered the ones who crossed the line, first. I hooted and hollered for all who passed the line, period.

Their effort, their TRY, was worthy to be celebrated.

There are dreams I hold in my heart that I have carried for more than 30 years. Things I would like to TRY. I just want to TRY. I may fall flat on my face. That doesn’t matter. I just want to give all I have, TRY best as I can, do ALL I can and see how things shake out.

Will I get the opportunity? Will my moment(s) ever come? I have no idea. All I know is I am asking God and Life for the opportunity, for the moment(s). Til then, I will continue to live, love, give ALL that I have, ALL that I am to the moment(s) I have, now.

I will give my all, to my job. I will give my all, to my family. I will give my all, to my friends. I will give my all, to God. I will give my all, to Life.

Will I win? Who knows. Who cares. The fact that I TRY, EVERY day, is victory, for me. My Awesome Father, God, loves me. HE LOVES ME! Life fights for me! Jesus is My Bestie, My Homie, My Got-It-Going-On-Like-Popcorn! HOW much more blessed could I EVER be???!!!

YYYYYYYAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

These moments we have, called life, are ALL the moments we get. We have no idea how many we have. We know not when the last will be. We have NO idea when those we love and care about will run out of moments.

These are YOUR moments. Time to get to the starting line, dontchathink?

starting with you,

Cassandra DETERMINED

If you are having trouble getting started, just get started.

I did NOT want to get out of my comfortable bed. Just did NOT want to get started, for some reason.

So, I did the next best thing: just got started….*shrug*.

Once I got started, I could get started on the rest of my day.

Turns out, by just getting started, I got myself started, which made me start rocking out, to some fab music, which started my dance moves, which started joy up in my spirit, which started my day to rock with me.

Me and my day started handling the business of the day. Which caused God and Life to get started on Their part in my day. So, me, my day, God and Life ALL started to be about life’s business.

YYYYYAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!

Some days, ya just have to get started!!

We got this, beloveds.

Get started!!

going with you,

Cassandra REVVED UP AND RET TO GO!!!

#YouMatterToMe