Category: Writing

Yesterday, I cried.

Yesterday, was hard.

Nevertheless, I stood.

However, I move, forward, today.

Yesterday, I tried.

However, lost, more, than won.

Nevertheless, victory, was, mine.

Yesterday, I cried.

Nevertheless, However…

Today, I stand.

Nevertheless, victory, already, assured.

However, fight, still, I will.

Today, I hope.

However, still, seek.

Nevertheless, pursue, greatness, in, me.

Yesterday, I cried.

However, Nevertheless…

Now, I serve.

Nevertheless, I, am, reminded, of Whom, I serve.

However, serve, gladly, I, do.

Now, I live.

However, mindful, to remain, in, the, moment.

Nevertheless, a lifetime, can be, contained, in one, moment.

Yesterday, I cried.

Nevertheless, However…

I stand.

I hope.

I serve.

I live.

Yesterday, I cried.

Today, only, today will know, my end.

I will stand.

I will hope.

I will serve.

I will live.

I will see.

Tomorrow, is, not, here, yet…

Jaybird STATUS UNKNOWN/WHO CARES?

Letter to My Father: Your Relentless Love.

Dear Father,

Your Love, for me, has been relentless.

Your Love has pursued me, wooed me, sought me, my entire life.

Your Love, viewed me, from the womb.

Your Love, was There, at my birth.

Your Love, walked me across the street to kindergarten.

Your Love, walked me down the aisle on graduation day.

Your Love, followed me, to my first job.

Your Love, secured me, at my last job.

Your Love, was There, when I fell, in love.

Your Love, was There, when, love fell out of love, with me.

Your Love, was There, when my heart, birthed it’s first dream.

Your Love, was There, when my dream shattered, then shattered me.

Your Love is Relentless.

Your Relentless Love, wrenched back the curtain of time, and came for me, in my time of need.

Your Relentless Love, roamed the galaxies, in search of gifts meant just for me. Earth’s boundaries, could not, contain all You had in store for me.

Your Relentless Love, as Enduring, as Far-reaching, as the tides. The ocean bows, before me, subdued, awed, by Your Deep and Abiding Love, for me.

Your Relentless Love, refused to allow me to give up on love, absolutely refused to allow me, to give up, on me.

Father, how can you continue to pursue, so Relentlessly, so Religiously, one, so small, as me?

Father, I have been relentless, in my need to please, my need to work, my need to prove/earn love, from You.

How to, accept Relentless Love, from You, to me?

How to, accept love, not yet, earned, relentlessly?

Your Relentless Love, is like a drumbeat: banging loudly, demanding to be heard, to be seen, by all.

That I could, give You the world, for all, You have allowed, the world to give to me, relentlessly, repeatedly, freely.

The world, would be Yours, if it were only mine, to give. I give You, my heart, my life, instead.

For, ALL the world, could not possibly contain, all the love, all the joy, all the awe, I feel towards, Thee, and Your Relentless Love.

The number of stars, in the sky, could not begin to count, to number, my thoughts of You, and Your Relentless Love.

Your Relentless Love, is The Oxygen. I breathe.

Your Relentless Love, is The Heart, that beats within me.

Your Relentless Love, causes me, to stand.

Your Relentless Love, catches me, when I fall.

I must end, this letter, of praise, Father, as I find the closer I get, to You, the more relentless I become.

Relentlessly, tearing down, every barrier, that stands, between You and me.

Relentless, I pursue every fear.

Relentless, I attack, every doubt.

Relentless, I bring down, every wall.

I love You, Father.

I thank, You, for loving me…

Relentlessly.

Your Humbled Daughter,

Jaybird COVERED

Today…

…was hard. Is hard, still.

A friend has lost someone impossible to lose. Say a prayer, ok? Dad will know who the prayers of loss, support, and healing are for. Pray for mercy and grace. There are no words when love is lost.

Work was… no amount of Yikes and Egads can take away the hard of work, today.

Nevertheless, I stand, still.

However, I carry your heart, in my pocket, today. I have prayed for you, all day. In the middle of all the hell that came for me, today.

I am forever grateful I was prayed up, today.

Yikes!

Egads!

Hey, thanks for showing up. I will need you both just THINKING of this day. 🥶

I normally would have something inspirational about here.

Today, was so hard, all I can wish is that I had someone to carry my tired heart, in their pocket.

Today, was so hard, I wish there was someone to dance, for me.

Today, was a hard, day. It was a devastating, day. It was a fantastic, day.

I danced with God, Life, Yikes and Egads.

God told me that He loved, me, today.

What else could I ask for? I LIVE in God’s Pocket! How much safer/loved could I be?

We have done our best, today. Let the day have it’s end. Our shift is over. I am heading to the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee and gonna have a double chocolate chip muffin with Life and The King. How great is that?

You are welcome to join us.

I love you.

Jaybird DENTED but flying still…

Real Talk: When Life has truly pissed you off, turn your mad into praise/dance.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=qEvEVALLjNQ&feature=share

Life, has royally pissed me, OFF, today!

Thank goodness, I was well prayed up, today. Prayed up, enough, to shut up, turn up the volume, and turn this mad into praise/dance. 😡🤬💃🧨💣💃🙏🎉👀💃😡😡❤🤷‍♀️🧨💣🧨🧨💃💃!!

Me: Life, get over here and dance with/for me. You the one started all this mess! 💣🧨💃💃💃😡😡

Yikes!

Egads!

Oh, good, I will be needing yall both.

Soon as I am finished praising, I am going to beat some devil hind end for acting such a fool and trying to distract me from carrying folk around in my pocket.

Ha! Am not fooled by you, dummy enemy. your days shall soon have it’s end. I have ALREADY read to the end of your story.

Come Easter, you going to know, for sure, you made a mighty mistake when you orchestrated the death of King Jesus. Ha! you dummy. Don’t you know you are NOTHING but a cunning tool that Dad, Father, has allowed to roam?

Don’t you yet realize, dummy, that ALL your shenanigans do is piss me off, make me more determined to love folk, to extend grace to folks cutting up, knowing God’s Grace was there, for me, when at my worst?

😡💃🧨😡💃🎉🎁🙏🎉😎😡

God: What’s all the ruckus? I smelled a wonderful aroma of love, sacrifice, and praise and HAD to come see and join you.

*Jaybird grabbed Yikes, Egads, Life, and God and danced. Cassandra forgot all about her mad, too busy praising Her Awesome Father for His Unmerited Favor, for His Unfailing Love, for His Endless Joy*

Real talk, the enemy, likes to cause all kinds of holy hell, in your life to keep you off the tasks of loving: yourself, God, Life, and others.

Go tell the dummy to go kick some rocks!

We are free. Our loved ones, SHALL be free. Why? Cuz, we ain’t ever giving up on them, no matter what, no matter where, no matter why.

I love you, my WordPress fam. Keep on dancing, with, and, FOR me, as I dance, with, and for You.

His Fabulous Daughter and your sis,

Jaybird REGARDLESS. HA!!

He is STILL here.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=av0zNZlvCgk&feature=share

I can’t rest.

Someone is hurting.

Someone is just too close to giving up.

I can’t rest.

I don’t know if he/she/they are missing, from my pocket.

I dare not rest until he/she/they are looked after, today.

Is it, you? If so, come. God is STILL here, for you. He is with you. No matter where you are, He is there.

No matter what you have done, He is STILL here, for you.

Don’t give up on you, yet. Not just, yet. Try, again. Just, try. You don’t have to win. Just, try.

If you, try. You will, find Him. You will, find you.

It’s not where you have started, beloved, but where you finish.

God is not done with you, yet.

Be encouraged. Hop in my pocket. I shall carry your heart around and pray for you.

His servant and yours,

Jaybird INTERCEDING

Your prison doors have been opened.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=3B3H0g487m8&feature=share

Isaiah 61: 1-4: The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

4 And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.

God SEES you. God LOVES you. God CARES DEEPLY, for your life.

He desires your freedom. He longs to bind up your wounds. He wants you healed. He yearns to make you whole.

Let Him love you.

Jaybird FREE

Be encouraged, today. I carry your heart, in my pocket, today.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ddXy527mq4A&feature=share

When, I pray for folks, I imagine that I am carrying his/her/they heart around, in my pocket, to protect and pray over it.

At times, I have let someone know that I am carrying their heart, in my pocket.

If you are reading these words, I am carrying your heart, in my pocket, today.

I stand, for YOU, today. I stand, WITH you, today.

If these words, find their way to you, know they have been traveling, for more than 30 years, to find you.

When I was a teenager, many moons ago, I remember driving one day, and telling God that if only ONE person had seen me, loved me, been there for me, the me that only God and Life, could see, my life would be different.

I don’t know if I would be a different, me. All I know is that I prayed, all those many moons ago, to be that ONE person for someone. For many someones.

So, today, I carry, your heart, in my pocket, today.

Be encouraged. I got you. God and Life has us all.

Jaybird PROTECTIVE

Naked: Ashamed

Today, I stand. Naked. Ashamed.

Nevertheless, I am here, standing.

However, I am afraid: of what I shall be, of what standing may do inside me.

I fought the night, valiantly. The night won, yet again, and rightfully took her spoils, the day, with her.

I stand before You, Father. Naked. Ashamed.

I am not ashamed of my nakedness. I joyfully receive being stripped of all pride, doubt, and fear in order to live this life, and not simply to survive it.

I am ashamed, Father, because of the fear. It’s not the fear I am ashamed of. I ashamed I have allowed fear to return as You have led me to stand, in a new place, in a very strange place, in a new me.

It is in the trials, of life, where we are exposed. The REAL us. The us that no one can see. Save, You. Save, me.

It is in this new trial, this latest trial, I stand and find myself, afraid.

I chastise myself, I should know, better. I admonish myself, I should do, better. I remind myself, I should BE, better.

With all the chasestisement, admonishment, and remiders, I still found myself, afraid.

Ah! The point, in all this standing: I found, me. The REAL, me. The me, only You, only I, only Life, can see.

God: All I have ever asked of thee, is for the just to stand, before Me. To stand, WITH Me. To stand, as I guide, thee. I ask you, to stand. Not to make you afraid. But, to set you free. In standing, before Me, naked and ashamed, you have ALREADY, made yourself, free.

I fought the night with you, My Beloved, Daughter. I bore most, of the weight, upon My Shoulders, high, where No man can see. I gave you just enough, of the fight, so you could see, you.

All you could see, was the fear. All I could see, was your fight, your willingness to continue, even afraid.

What you call, your fear, I call, your faith.

You knew, you had no strength, to bear your weight. You knew, you had no pride, to hide behind. You knew, you only, had you.

Only…*sigh*. What you see, as ONLY, I see, as EVERYTHING. You, are everything. My Everything.

I have covered, your nakedness. You mistakenly, believe you have covered, yourself, in fear and shame.

I have, covered you, with My Deep and Abiding Love, for you. I have wrapped thee, in My Word. I have sheltered thee, with My CHARACTER.

Lift up, thy head, My Daughter. I have called thee, by thy name. Thou art Mine. I have helped thee. Yea, I have lifted, I have carried thee, by My Righteousness Arm.

Lift up, your head, and see, I see you, have found, you. Don’t, be afraid, of her. Don’t, be ashamed, of her.

For, she, is a mighty warrior. She, is a valiant, warrior. She stands. Even afraid, she stands. How, can I not be a Proud Father. She humbles Me.

I stand, before, her. I stand, with her. She is you. Accept, her. All, of her. She is you.

Me: 😥

Today, before the battle starts, I stand. Ready, for whatever the day shall bring for me.

Nevertheless, I stand. Free. Unchained. Fearless. Covered. Loved. Blessed.

However, I remain. Me. Showing the entire world, the entirety of me.

I stand, before you, world. Naked: Not ashamed.

I stand, for all, who struggled, with the night, who think they have lost.

Lift up, your head, my dear brother. Lift up, your head, my precious sister. Lift up, your head, my awesome, others.

Lift up, your head, and see, you. The REAL you. The you, only you, only God, only Life, can see.

You are covered: by God’s Word, by God’s CHARACTER, and by God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for you.

You have ALREADY, won, beloveds. As, have I.

The bible says we are MORE than conquerors. The battle was won, long before the night snatched the light from the day.

Be at peace, today. No matter what the day may bring. Tell the day to bring on it’s best. And, remember, this is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Rejoicing, with you,

Jaybird COVERED

Check it BEFORE you wreck it. Part II

I could not stand, today. Not, today. Today, was, well today was just too hard. Dammit.

Choosing not to choose, Life chose for me and put me on my knees, before God.

That would be fantastic if I were not currently angry with Him: for telling me it’s time. I am not ready!

I stomped, through the morning, told my accountability partner I was NOT standing, today. It was just too hard, I was just too damned angry, for being asked to stand. Dammit.

Why am I angry, today? I have chosen to ALLOW myself the luxury of BEING angry. Dammit. I have not given in to the hidden anger. To….Yikes…..Egads.

You are NOT sneaking up on me THIS and THAT. I already told Dad, this morning, I was not ready yet.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, you have to go back and read ‘Letters to Him: What do you do when it’s time, and you are not ready.

Okay, so you still won’t know as God, Life, and I are currently fighting about dealing with THIS and THAT and to stop hiding behind ‘I am not ready’. I am not ready! Dammit.

Feeling sufficiently vindicated and righteous, I blithely informed my accountability partner I was not standing, today. Please and thank you. Today, was just too hard and I was just, well, just too damn mad to stand.

Me: I am not ready.

Her: Yes you are.

Me: I can not stand, today.

Her: I’m telling Dad on you.

Me: I don’t care

Her: You stand up right now.

Me: ….*Cassandra ponders her need to stay angry opposed to Dad AND her going off on me….*Cassandra decides to stand. Cassandra stands*.

Me: Done.

Her: Now pray.

Me: All I can say is one word: Father

Me: Father. Father…*sigh*…..FATHER!….

Father: I am here. You can do ALL things. Through ME. No weapon, formed against you, shall prosper. ALL things work together for good. Let them.

Choosing to trust Him, I stood. Angry, yet, I stood. While standing, I decided to turn my anger into a praise. I decided, to fight my way out. To use the anger, to fight, FOR me, not against Him. I turned my anger, into a praise. I turned my praise, into an offering.

I chose, to check it, BEFORE, I wrecked it. Came awfully close to crashing this time. Whew.

There is just no getting around this life. It can be hard. It demands so much of us. Those demands, at times, can make one angry. It gets old. Trying, gets old. Standing, gets old. Striving, gets old. When life gets old/hard, it can be so tempting to want to stop the world, and get off, go off.

We can wreck things when we are tired, tried, tested. It is during the testing we must hold out. We MUST hold on. To God. To Life. To Freedom. At all costs. No matter, the discomfort. Hold on. No matter, the challenge. Hold on. No matter, the fight. Hold on.

Don’t wreck all the good. Don’t wreck the new growth. Don’t wreck what is becoming because the becoming is seeming to come entirely too slow.

Wait. Wait for the release. Wait for the breakthrough. Wait for the breakout. Wait for it. It shall surely come. It is waiting for it’s time. ALL things have their time, their season, their space. Nothing can stop what God has prepared for you.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

Psalm 46 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

11 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

End this day, with these words: God SEES you. God LOVES you. God CARES DEEPLY, for your life. As do, I.

I love you.

Jaybird YOUR FRIEND

Letter to God: Father, HOW did you know?

Dear God,

HOW did You know, I would make it, today?

How did You know, I would fall, today?

How did You know, I would run to You, today?

How did you Know, I would end my day, in triumph?

How did You know, I would win over my enemies pride and fear, today?

I was afraid, today, Father. Afraid, I would let you down. Afraid, I would let myself down, today. I have spent the week apologizing to you, apologizing for my temper tantrums.

I have not been angry, with You. Not really. I have not even been angry, with me. Not really. I just don’t want to let You down. I don’t want to let Life down. You Both have been so good to me. I want to be good to me.

I have much to make up to You, to Life, to me. Mostly, to me. The more freedom, I find in you, the more I realize all I had been keeping myself from, because of fear.

Fear of failing folks, Life, You, jobs, friends, family. The list is endless. I appreciate You and Life for helping me to get free of my own expectations. I thank You, Both, for helping me to free myself of the expectations of others. Yet, did others actually put those expectations upon me? Some, maybe.

Mostly, I think I maybe, perchance, kinda sorta assumed this is what was expected and required.

Thank You, for Your Word. Thank You, for Your CHARACTER. Mostly, thank You, for Your Deep and Abiding Love, for me.

Thank You, Dad, for loving me. Still. Always. Thank You, Father, for Your Faithfulness. Thanks, Abba, for being faithful even when I doubted in Your Faith, in me. All You have ever asked, have required, was for me to try. You just ask me to try. Today, You asked, knowing, I would fall, fail, try again, fall again, fail again.

Until, I didn’t fall. I stood. Until, I flew, dented. Until, I danced, through tears, in triumph.

Is this why You encouraged me to try? Did You know, I would end the day, in victory?

Is this why You whispered for me to try and stand. Just to TRY and stand. You did not berate me. You were in no hurry. You did not intervene. That is, until I tried.

The INSTANT, I tried, You swooped in. You took over. You showed up. You showed out. You were My Very Present Help, in my time of trouble. You made an open show to let the world KNOW, You had my back.

Not only, did You catch me, when I fell. You swooped me upon Your Strong Shoulders, and carried me for the rest of the day.

How did You know, I would end this day, being held tightly to Your Bosom? How did You know, I would draw close to You, and allow You to speak quietly, to my soul?

I appreciate Your staying quiet, today, to allow me to make my way to You. Like a small child, frightened, teetering on unsteady legs. Once, standing, running crookedly into Your Arms. My Home.

Thank You, My Precious Father, for becoming My Home. Thank You, for leading the way. Thank You, for waiting, patiently, for me, as I made my way, impatiently, to You.

I love You, Dad. Thank You, for loving me. Thank You, for showing Me that You are not in my life to sit in judgment upon me. You just sit with me. Loving me, still. Always. Amazing.

I’m sorry, Dad, I did not stand, immediately. Help me to understand You are not interested in how long it takes, how dignified/undignified, I stand. You just want to ensure I am standing on Firm Foundation: Your Word, Your CHARACTER, Your Deep and Abiding Love, for me.

Help me to help others to find their way, to make their way, home, to You. Help folk, to realize, You love and care for them. Help folk, to understand You desire nothing but to love them and safeguard their lives.

Finally, Dad, help folk to see You with a Crooked Crown. Approachable. Lovable. Call them, Dad, as You called me. Ask them, to try, Dad. Ask them. Some, may. And, in trying, rush in, swoop them upon Your Shoulders, whisper quietly, into each ear that will hear and receive Your Deep and Abiding Love for each and every one of us.

I am blessed, to be called Your Daughter. I am honored, You chose to love and care for me. All that I have, I offer to You. I serve, at YOUR pleasure. Even, when it’s hard. Especially, when it’s hard.

I love you, Father. I wish I could give You all You have given me. How can I give You the world that You have made?

Yours always,

Jaybird LOVED and FREE