I’m trying to learn about others. I’m trying to empathize with others. With their struggles.

Often, folk find it easy to empathize with those who struggle with the things they struggle with. I’m trying to learn to empathize period.

Just because your hurt is not my hurt does not mean I can’t hurt for you.

I have been learning about micro bakers. I had no idea there was such a thing! Turns out, I think, a micro baker is someone with a tiny bakery. Who knew?!

I came across a micro baker who lived in Australia. He had excitedly opened a micro bakery. I was all set to learn about his journey. He only had five episodes. He had to quit a year later.

I felt bad for him. I grieved with and for him. I thought about how excited he was to have open his micro bakery. I agonized with him as he agonize about not having time to do other things he wanted to do in his life. His dream had become cumbersome. His dream had become work. His dream was no longer something he loved.

I looked at other micro bakers who were having a time. They were happy. I wondered if they would also quick in a year.

In trying to learn how to empathize with and for others, I am learning to give myself more of a break. I’m also finding I am enjoying my job more than I thought. I thought I was ready to move on from my job to pursue my writing dreams.

To my surprise, I have found I truly enjoy my job and want to keep doing what I’m doing. I also want to make room for my writing dream. I have asked myself what is it I love about writing? I have asked myself where I want to take my writing?? I have asked God what HE would like for me, to take my writing.

Now, I wait. Now, I research. Now, I experience the lives of others. Now, I am enjoying the learning process. The learning process used to be so frustrating for me. I wanted to get somewhere already!

Now, I’m enjoying the journey. All of it. I am enjoying sharing it with you. I am enjoying talking to The Universe about it. I’m enjoying talking to family and friends about it. I’m enjoying sharing it with my supervisor at work. I am just enjoying everything about it.

In trying to get to know the struggles of others, I have found my struggles not to be so heavy. Yes, the hard is still hard. Yes, the lonely is still lonely. But, I find joy in all of those things.

I no longer feel as though I have to. Now, I do because I choose to. Because, I want to.

I have spent the last several hours getting my pieces ready for the next week. Normally, I do that on Saturday or Sunday morning. Tonight, I just wanted to share life with you and enjoy the evening.

Enjoy your life, beloveds. Love someone. Starting with you. Then, try to find someone who does not look like you and empathize with what they are going through. We are all we got, but we are all we need.

The more I am delving into the cultures of other countries, the more I am learning we all love the same. We all hurt the same. We all care the same. Just in different ways.

We are all more alike than we are different. I have been having such a good time looking for the good in others. There is enough darkness in the world. I am sharing my light and looking for the light in others.

Be encouraged. As you hurt, I hurt with you. As you heal, I cheer for you. As you grow, I grow with you.

feeling with and for you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• SUNDAY WITH CASSANDRA. IT ME!
• MOVIE SATURDAY WITH CASSANDRA🌎🎬👩🏿‍🦼🍿🌎
• (no title)
• Today…
• 🎬 MAYBE THEY WEREN’T “TOO BLACK.” MAYBE I WAS STILL HOLDING THE RULER. 🪑🔑Beloveds,I told you I caught myself watching Black romance movies and thinking:Too loud.Too boisterous.Too Black.😳And the Holy Spirit convicted me.Then I watched Deliver Us from Eva.WHEW.👀Because suddenly I wasn’t only watching Eva.I was looking at the ruler I sometimes used to measure everybody.Let’s start with Eva.She’s intelligent, professional, beautiful, protective, loving, bossy, controlling, loyal and complicated.All of it.🔑She doesn’t have to become either the Angry Black Woman Who Needs Taming or the Strong Black Woman Whose Every Choice Must Be Defended.Eva needs correction AND Eva deserves dignity.She helped raise her sisters after their parents died. Protection became part of her identity.But eventually protection sometimes became control.⛓️ If I don’t manage everybody, everything will fall apart.🔑 I can love grown people without controlling grown people.Her sisters need a key too.You cannot keep handing somebody the clipboard to your life and then get mad because she keeps writing on it.🤣Eva has to stop managing.Her sisters have to start owning.Everybody gets a chair.🪑And YES—THE MEN TOO.🤣🪑🪑🪑🪑Ray begins by deceiving Eva.That matters.But eventually “the problem” becomes a person to him.Eva.And Ray changes.🔑 Sometimes genuinely knowing somebody destroys the caricature we created from a distance.But Ray deserves his own humanity too.He’s working, dreaming, saving, flawed, funny, romantic, masculine and tender.He doesn’t need to become a CEO before he’s worthy of love.There’s that ten-times-better ruler again.👀Then Mike.Mike has a legitimate frustration with Eva’s interference.His solution?SIR. SIT DOWN.🪑🤣Because here’s another key:🔑 A legitimate grievance does not automatically make every remedy legitimate.Pain deserves acknowledgment.Choices still require accountability.Then Tim made me ask:What does a Black man have to look like before we consider him “man enough”?Dominant?Always in charge?Never soft?Never uncertain?Why?Tim doesn’t need more masculinity.He needs his voice.🔑A loud Black woman shouldn’t have to shrink.A quieter Black man shouldn’t have to perform dominance.Both get chairs.And Darrell?🤣Some people are intellectual heavyweights.And some people are…Darrell.🤣❤️HE GETS A CHAIR TOO.Intelligence isn’t the admission price for dignity.Sophistication isn’t the admission price for love.Black people are allowed to be ordinary.Goofy.Messy.Wrong.Funny.Tender.Brilliant.Ridiculous.Rich.Poor.Loud.Quiet.Human.And suddenly the Holy Spirit’s conviction went deeper.Maybe I had become nervous when Black characters weren’t representing us “well enough.”What will THEY think?Why are they so loud?Why aren’t they more polished?More educated?More professional?More respectable?More…acceptable?😳And suddenly I’m not watching a movie.I’m conducting a performance review of Blackness.⛓️That’s exhausting.Because Black characters should not have to carry the reputation of an entire people on their backs.And sometimes, without realizing it—we help load the backpack.That was part of what the Holy Spirit showed me.Not merely:Cassandra, look at them.But:Cassandra, look at your ruler.👀Who handed it to you?Why are you still carrying it?And I knew part of the answer.Ten times better.There was love and survival inside what Black folk taught me.They were preparing me for an unfair world.But:“You may have to be ten times better to receive the opportunity”can quietly become:“Black people SHOULD be ten times better.”NO.❤️‍🩹I reject that.Black excellence is beautiful.Black dignity is unconditional.Eva gets correction and dignity.Ray gets tenderness and accountability.Mike gets frustration and responsibility.Tim gets quietness and voice.Darrell gets goofiness and dignity.The sisters get love and agency.Nobody has to become less Black.Nobody has to become ten times more human.EVERYBODY GETS A CHAIR.🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑And maybe that’s what the Holy Spirit was really asking me:Cassandra, why are you still holding the ruler?😳My answer?I’m learning to put it down.🔑And maybe you have one too.Race.Education.Disability.Age.Money.Accent.Religion.Politics.Body size.Mental illness.Addiction.Sexuality.Somebody whose life simply doesn’t look like yours.Don’t perform an answer for me.Be honest with you. For, HIM.🙏🏿What ruler are you carrying?Who handed it to you?Who have you measured with it?Have you measured yourself with it too?And if the Holy Spirit is showing it to you, maybe He isn’t giving you the ruler so you can beat yourself with it.Maybe He’s saying:Child. You don’t need that anymore.Put it down.🔑❤️‍🩹Pull up your chair.🪑Let somebody else pull up theirs.And let people be fully human in front of you.Including—you.👩🏿‍🦼💃🏿❤️‍🔥🌎Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!Unapologetically His.Unapologetically yours.