The awful things you have said to/about yourself after you have made a mistake.
The awful words said/to about you from others because of a mistake or an on purpose, you made.
You ARE:
Beloved.
So, BE loved!
Be LOVED.
Enough. Enough beating yourself because of things you said, did not say, did, did not do.
Is it not enough, beloved? How many more moments are you willing to withhold yourself to pay for moments when you were not at your best. Must you keep sacrificing the rest:
Of, your moments?
Can you EVER free yourself of:
Guilt?
Fear?
Shame?
(Add whatever you like here)?
You are beloved.
Dictionary definition of beloved:
dearly loved : dear to the heart.
You are dearly loved:
By God.
By Life.
By folk around you. If you will allow them to.
You are dear to the heart. It saddens me, greatly that many walk around feeling unloved. Saddens me more having ever felt God did not love me. He did. Always had. Always will.
Foks are running around chasing fame, fortune, clicks, likes, and all manner of things hoping to purchase good feelings, good will.
The Love of God is free. His Care is free. His Grace is free. They just need to be RECEIVED.
You are loved, this day. BE loved, would you please?
I admit. I can be a goofhead. At times. I find myself gabbing to God, in the middle of the night, about the dumbest things. He knows it. I know it. I tell Him it ain’t my fault I can’t sleep and He doesn’t need sleep and I am currently wondering about the current ridiculous thing I am wondering about.
Just KNOWING that it is okay to yak with God about anything is so amazing. What is more amazing is that He gets a kick out of it. Gets a hoot out of me.
He enjoys me in ALL my forms. Loves me when I am mad at Him for having to take the damned high road EVERY time. Who the world likes taking the high road all the time, I hope and whine and complain. All whilst being on that high road He put me on.
Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay.→
Fear. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Hopeless. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not. Not TODAY! Desperate. Not. ✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Disheartened. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Discouraged. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY! Today I planned something fun for 6p. Health said, Nah Fam, refusing to release it’s grip, on my numb left hand. Leaving me: Stuck in bed, … Continue reading Not TODAY!→
Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.→
Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.→
Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when. →
Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved.→
When circumstances tap on the shoulder and punches you square in the face you are welcome to get holy hacked.
That said, you may NOT:
Quit.
Quit.
Quit.
You may fuss at God and Life. Feel free. Throw a tantrum. Have at it. Stomp your feet. Shake your fists.
Then, scratch, claw, cry, holler, wonder your way back and get to standing.
Stand not on YOUR:
Hurt, feelings.
Confused, feelings.
Betrayed, feelings.
Bewildered, feelings.
Feelings. Feelings. Feelings. FEELINGS!
Get the theme here?
We are NOT to stand on our feelings. Standing has ZERO to do with what you feel or don’t feel. Standing, could give two hoots, about what you want or don’t want. Need or don’t need.
Beloved, do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of standing only when you can see God, hear God or know what is going on. There will just be times when you can’t see, can’t trust what you feel, and have not the slightest idea of what is going on.
It’s so easy to walk away when you have tried everything and STILL, dammit, the damned mountain just won’t move already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is more maddening, is when you have done all that you know, the mountain won’t move and God and Life are so damned silent!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t yall see me over here doing the best I can do and nothing is giving way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????
I can admit to telling God and Life yesterday that I was either going to win, or I was going to lose. Just could not bear, or so I thought, yet another day of going around these same damned mountains. Only, more mountains are being added, the climbs are much steeper, there are more bandits and scary things on these mountains. These mountains never seem to have an end.
I wanted the end, dammit! Wanted off of here. I did NOT WANT to face another mountain, another day, with Jaybird forever yapping in my ear to keep going.
I was tired of the damned mountain. Exhausted from day 10 of this blasted fever. DAY TEN!!!! I was sick of being sick, tired of being tired. Dammit.
DAMMIT!!
So, I made the decision to stop standing….*sigh*…smh. Moron me, using being all up in my feelings, as an excuse. I called a friend. Told him I was fixing to do a whole bunch of drinking and was over it. Thank goodness for friends who will tell you the truth.
I got a nice lecture. A nice boot to the rear. I pouted. A lot. I drank. A fair bit. I cried. Not at all. Just too sick and tired for that. Put on a super hero movie and watched all night. Fussed at the screen. Super heroes were for dummies. Ordinarily, I would be the main one hooting and hollering and donning capes to get in the fight. Just sat glumly, fully engaged in my pity party, drinking not quite so much knowing I was going to get over my mad and go to the job I said I was going to quit come morning….smh…..
Que morning. Turned on my music, poured myself in some clothes, got some act right, sulked past a silently staring God and Life and got back to standing.
Moral of the story, you ask? Beats me, am too busy standing. Too busy living this life and not surviving it. Too busy being grateful for how horribly awful terrible exasperating maddening yesterday was. It gave me the opportunity to watch me give up on myself, ungive up on myself, give up, ungive up, stand, stop standing, stand again, and watch a half way decent super hero movie where the hero wins in the end.
How could I NOT be grateful?
Keep going. We got this. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Cassandra GRATEFUL
P.S. You are NOT alone. Have never felt more alone in my life than I did yesterday. I was not alone, yesterday. Not for one second. Tell yo feelings, ANY feelings, that gives you permission to quit to go kick some rocks!!
Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay.→
Fear. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Hopeless. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not. Not TODAY! Desperate. Not. ✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Disheartened. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Discouraged. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY! Today I planned something fun for 6p. Health said, Nah Fam, refusing to release it’s grip, on my numb left hand. Leaving me: Stuck in bed, … Continue reading Not TODAY!→
Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.→
Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.→
Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when. →
Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved.→
Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM Nobody Was Missing From the Room Beloveds, Can we stop treating being alone like somebody forgot to show up? Sometimes nobody is missing. Sometimes the room has exactly the right number of people in it. One. You. There are people who love being surrounded by people. There are … Continue reading Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Beloveds, I feel stuck. Stuck between two worlds: Hopeful, yet wondering. Able, yet, hesitant. Joyful, yet, wandering. Stuck in the middle of… New life. Old life. Future life. Nevertheless/however Cassandra lives. Ah, God, why must I be stuck in the middle. I trust You. I’m learning to trust me, too. Thank You for loving me … Continue reading Stuck between two worlds.→
Give yourself permission, beloveds. To: Feel. Fear. Cry. Worry. Fret. Fuss. Holler. Howl. Whatever. Whenever. However. Beloveds, it’s important to give yourself permission and room to feel however you feel. Folk ought stop lying 🤥 about how they truly feel. Yesterday, my heart ached. I had to pick up my bifocals and reading glasses 👓 … Continue reading Give yourself permission, beloveds.→
Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM When Simple Things Aren’t Simple Anymore Beloveds, Yesterday we talked about missing who you used to be. Tonight, I want to talk about something that can come with that. Sometimes the things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore. Getting out of the house. Going somewhere alone. … Continue reading Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM When You Miss Who You Used to Be Beloveds, This week isn’t about me. Something I wrote recently got me thinking about how easy it is to miss who we used to be when life changes on us. But I don’t want to spend this week telling you … Continue reading Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
The world seems upside down, beloveds. Literally. I can’t tell you the joys of putting on upside down pants👖 🙃🫠🤔🤤😑 Joy came to help me out. Annoyed stayed Annoyed and was no use for anyone. Hard decided to be nice, for once, and handed me fresh briefs. The Father, ever ready, with the toilet paper, … Continue reading When everything seems like it’s upside-down…→
I miss my wombie. I miss my twin. Not in a sad way. In a ” what’s up with you ” way. I’m thinking of you, sis. How are you? Your 🦁 Detroit Lions won today. I miss the sound of your voice, sis. Look after Russell and Jr. and all who have gone before. … Continue reading I miss my wombie.→
REST. Beloveds, It’s Sunday morning. Come sit with us for a minute. 🪑🪑 You don’t have to bring anything. Not what you accomplished this week. Not what you didn’t accomplish. Not the thing you still haven’t figured out. Not an explanation for why you’re tired. Just you. Come sit. There’s a chair for you here. … Continue reading Sunday Morning with My Bestie and me.→
Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026 K-PAX Beloveds, We made it to Saturday. 🍿 Maybe this week was wonderful. Maybe this week wore you slap out. Maybe not much happened at all. Maybe you have been waiting all week for somebody to please stop needing something from you. 😆 Whatever kind of week you had, you … Continue reading Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026→
We got this! This music 🎶 is so uplifting.! No matter your walk, or lack thereof, God got us. Be encouraged. Be patient with yourself, beloved. You can still do so much more than you give yourself credit for! Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
I wish I could Friday, October 9, 2026 Beloveds, I wish I could. Four little words. Sometimes they carry an awful lot of life. There are things I used to do without thinking about them. Ordinary things. Private things. Things that didn’t require planning, assistance, or a conversation with my body about whether we were … Continue reading I wish I could.→
Friday, October 9, 2026 — 6:00 PM Love was already in the room ❤️🔑 Beloveds, Yesterday I left you with half a sentence. I know. That was wrong. 😅 I said: The door may have been locked. But… 👀 Well… Hhm… 👀 I came back to finish it. The door may have been locked… But … Continue reading Friday, October 9, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Heart Check — Friday, October 9, 2026 Love was already in the room ❤️🔑 Beloveds, We’ve been opening drawers in our hearts all week. Looking at locks. Looking at doors. Looking at the places where we got stuck. We found things we had tucked away. We found some “shoulds” that had been sitting there far … Continue reading Heart Check — Friday, October 9, 2026→
Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay.→
Fear. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Hopeless. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not. Not TODAY! Desperate. Not. ✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Disheartened. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Discouraged. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY! Today I planned something fun for 6p. Health said, Nah Fam, refusing to release it’s grip, on my numb left hand. Leaving me: Stuck in bed, … Continue reading Not TODAY!→
Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.→
Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.→
Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when. →
Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved.→
Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM Nobody Was Missing From the Room Beloveds, Can we stop treating being alone like somebody forgot to show up? Sometimes nobody is missing. Sometimes the room has exactly the right number of people in it. One. You. There are people who love being surrounded by people. There are … Continue reading Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Beloveds, I feel stuck. Stuck between two worlds: Hopeful, yet wondering. Able, yet, hesitant. Joyful, yet, wandering. Stuck in the middle of… New life. Old life. Future life. Nevertheless/however Cassandra lives. Ah, God, why must I be stuck in the middle. I trust You. I’m learning to trust me, too. Thank You for loving me … Continue reading Stuck between two worlds.→
Give yourself permission, beloveds. To: Feel. Fear. Cry. Worry. Fret. Fuss. Holler. Howl. Whatever. Whenever. However. Beloveds, it’s important to give yourself permission and room to feel however you feel. Folk ought stop lying 🤥 about how they truly feel. Yesterday, my heart ached. I had to pick up my bifocals and reading glasses 👓 … Continue reading Give yourself permission, beloveds.→
Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM When Simple Things Aren’t Simple Anymore Beloveds, Yesterday we talked about missing who you used to be. Tonight, I want to talk about something that can come with that. Sometimes the things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore. Getting out of the house. Going somewhere alone. … Continue reading Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM When You Miss Who You Used to Be Beloveds, This week isn’t about me. Something I wrote recently got me thinking about how easy it is to miss who we used to be when life changes on us. But I don’t want to spend this week telling you … Continue reading Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
The world seems upside down, beloveds. Literally. I can’t tell you the joys of putting on upside down pants👖 🙃🫠🤔🤤😑 Joy came to help me out. Annoyed stayed Annoyed and was no use for anyone. Hard decided to be nice, for once, and handed me fresh briefs. The Father, ever ready, with the toilet paper, … Continue reading When everything seems like it’s upside-down…→
NOTHING is harder than waiting. Waiting without hearing a word, that is. Anyone can stand, yield, give when knowing the endgame.
How many can wait, PATIENTLY wait, when God and Life are completely and utterly silent?
Not many, I suspect. Even Jesus, before He had to endure The Cross, cried out “Why hast Thou Forsaken Me?”
It’s easy to feel abandoned. Especially when things are super tough and you have done all you know to do and have done. You valiantly stand, endure, relentlessly pursue and then you…wait…and wait…and wait…and wait….
???
Thinking more effort is required, you valiantly stand, quietly endure, remain relentless in your relentless pursing of the relentless and then you…wait…and wait…and wait…and wait….
!!!!??
Wondering if perhaps, God and Life may have missed your valiant standing, quiet endurance and relentless pursuit of your relentless pursuits you begin again. Rinse/Repeat:
You stand, valiantly.
You endure, quietly.
You pursue, relentlessly.
You then proceed to:
Wait.
Wait!
Wait?!
WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!??
Unbeknownst to you, you have a large audience. For, watching your battle are none other than:
God.
Life.
Jesus.
The Heavenly Host.
the enemy.
Circumstances.
Situations.
Moments.
Chances.
Miracles.
ALL are waiting on YOU. ALL are straining, to see what YOU shall choose:
God will not choose for you.
Life can not choose for you.
Jesus dare not choose for you.
The Heavenly host can only root for you.
the enemy can only suggest to you.
Situations can only invite you.
Moments can only entice you.
Chances can only invite you.
Miracles can only work FOR you.
As you choose:
To, stand.
To, run.
To, give up.
To, give in.
To, win.
To, lose.
To, love.
To, withhold love.
To, open arms.
To, close fists.
To, look up.
To, look down.
To, praise.
To, proclaim.
To, complain.
To, declare victory.
To, accept defeat.
I think we have all read/watched one too many:
Fairy tales.
Romance novels.
Marvel movies.
We are forever waiting for someone to swoop in to save the day. Forever, waiting, as damsels in distress to be rescued. Forever, waiting for someone else to save the day, win the war, rescue this thing or take care of that thing.
God, Life and ALL who watch us, every moment of every day, know the real truth. LIfe is short and nothing to be trifled with. We are running out of moments, chances, miracles. This is why all of Heaven has been in an uproar, lately.
This world has gotten completely out of hand. Everyone appears to be out for themselves. No one appears to be giving a fresh hell about anyone else.
At least, this is how things appears to be. How the enemy wants us to see things. Yes, life is hard right now. Yes, things are dark, right now. But, ONLY due to the fact that folks so busy protecting his/her/their own they are not uplifting and helping others to uplift their light.
We got this, people. LOVE WILL DRIVE OUT THIS DARKNESS. It will. We just have to able to be trusted with God’s and Life’s silence.
Rejoice when things are hard and you hear nothing. It means God is trusting in YOU. He KNOWS you are going to choose to stand, to love, to care, to fight. He KNOWS you will keeping giving your all. His silence is meant to show YOU, how much is already in you. It’s not for His Benefit.
He knows the valiant warrior He made you to be. You don’t have to be loud, to be valiant. You don’t have to expound to be valiant. You don’t have to have this particular talent or reach a million people.A
ALL that is required is…..YOU!
That’s it. YOU are more than enough, beloved. Just by being you. Nothing extra special other than giving what YOU have to give. You don’t have to give my portion. You don’t have to worry about someone else’s portion.
ALL you need to do is to uplift your light. YOUR LIFE IS MAKING A DIFFERENCE. YOU ARE THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR CIRCLE.
Be glad that God and Life aren’t forever having to scoop you up and bill and coo to you as if you were a feeble child. you are growing, each day. You don’t need your hand held every other five seconds. You can and are walking to school, on your own. Yes, God and Life are walking behind you, hiding in bushes so you can’t see Them, making sure you will get to class safe. They got you.
Keep shining your light, into the darkness. Keep shouting, into the darkness. Broken pieces can hear you. Broken hearts can see you. THEY need you, beloved. Though, you can not see or hear them, they cling to your words, your hope, desperately. You are all they have, right now. Keep going.
Not only are you growing, healing, adjusting and living. But, you are teaching others to do the same. Though they may never tell you, they watch you. YOUR freedom calls them to want to be free, as well. Your life matters to this world. Your life matters to God. Your life matters to me.
Keep going. Even in God’s Silence. ESPECIALLY, when God/Life are silent.
You got this. I got this. We all we got. But, we all we need, yes?
Wondering, if knowing we are NOT our broken pieces, are enough to soothe our tired spirit.
It is at times like these, super hard times, super lonely times, super frustrating times that I have experienced the RELENTLESS Love of God. For ME.
HE has carried me, through days that have been really tough.
HE has laughed with me, when fever has wanted me to run out in the street howling for relief.
HE has read Psalms 27, 30, 31 and 91 with me, as fever mocked me to give up already, as the enemy tried to convince me to stop standing and just forget the whole thing.
HE, My Awesome Father, has said, just rest, turn off the phone, and lean ON ME. Just try. Just stand on:
My Word.
My CHARACTER.
My Deep and Abiding Love for YOU!
God loves us. We got this. Hard days. Easy days. We got this. For, God and Life, has our back. They really do. It may not feel like, it today. It may well not feel like it, tomorrow. Yet, God holds today. He holds tomorrow. How much safer/loved can we be?
You have come far, beloved. Keep going. It’s just the fever talking. Let the fever do it’s work. God IS healing. The fever WILL pass.
We have ALREADY won. If Jesus, is Your Homie. If, Your Father, God, resides, IN you, you have already won the lottery. The rest is just the cherry on top of our sundae!
Keep going. If you are too tired, to fight, rest a moment. It’s perfectly okay to not be okay until you become okay. Okay?
The very fact that you question where you are, is prime example you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be! Remember, God and Life have ALREADY calculated our failures, our lapses, our failings, our successes, our lack thereof into the equation.
We are:
MORE THAN conquerors.
Kids of the King.
Loved, beyond measure.
Precious, beyond ALL price.
Arise, beloved! Jump into Dad’s Arms and let Him love on you, today. He is there. You are NOT alone. You are NOT lost. Just a bit feverish, perhaps, like me.
I was so pitiful I got up, turned on some lights and having me a nice Dance Party. Join me. Tell your fever, doubt, fear, anxt to kick some rocks!
The work day ended really rough. Wouldn’t you know I would get a call literally FIVE minutes before shift ended.
I had been praying, for hours, for the shift to end. Needed to take some medication, lick the days wounds, lay down, and, as dad used to say ‘try it again, tomorrow’.
My brain was foggy with fever, fatigue and trying to learn things that just made no sense! Dammit! 🤬😰🤢
So, of COURSE, the phone rings, FIVE MINUTES FROM FREEDOM! DAMMIT!!
Cue music. Cue up colossal I have absolutely NO idea last issue.
Dammit, I don’t feel well!
Dammit, I don’t know what I am doing!
Dammit, God WHY did you snatch my job like that?! I shouldn’t be struggling like this!
Yikes!
Whew, thank goodness you showed up for me, Yikes! Thanks for helping me to realize it’s just one issue. Not 50. Thanks for helping me to realize it’s a mistake that can be fixed. Short of that, I have learned what NOT to do next time.
I can remember when I started my job almost 11 years ago. My dad had passed away, earlier in the year. I had just lost my job 29 days before that and had struggled to find another job.
I went from making decent money to 75 percent less of that, with unemployment.
Yikes!
Egads!
Yea, tell me about it, fellas!
Being without a job, finding it hard to find another, getting the phone call dad had passed…*sigh*…just a truly hard and awful time.
Between dad’s passing, and finding a job, I had to make the absolutely AWFUL/HARD soul-crushing decision to keep looking for a job, taking care of weekly things, in order to keep my unemployment and missing dad’s service.
*sigh*……DAMMIT!!
I had talked to mom. She understood. Life was hard. Money, non existent. Told myself to put on my big girl panties, like dad taught us, and to keep it moving. I kept it moving. Just barely. Just barely.
Yikes!
By the time I had found my job, well, I had done such a terrific job of kicking my own ass:
For being an awful daughter: What daughter chooses looking for work over laying her dad to rest? Who DOES THAT, CASSANDRA??!
For not find a job faster: How HARD can it be to find a job, already? Don’t you know the bills are piling up, the savings are almost gone and it is cold outside!(we had record freezing temps forever).
For being a horrible encourager/Christian: After I lost my job, after losing my dad, the bed became my best friend. Moved in, permanently I thought/hoped. Laid in bed, for hours upon hours, hidden beneath mounds of covers, wondering if I would ever find a job, if I would ever stop feeling like the worst daughter in the history of mankind. You can forget about me standing. Wasn’t standing. Far from it. Spent too much time in bed, terrified, terrorizing myself for being human, I guess, and wondered if the nightmare would end.
Cue music. Job found. Sun came out. Warmth ensued. Okay, it was still freezing, but, the sun did come out. I remember sitting at my desk, the first night, starting at the screen and wondering ‘what the fresh hell!’. I had NO clue what I was doing. NO idea.
My boss must have seen my terror/anxt/fear and came up to me. She said words I shall NEVER forget. I think of them, to this very day. In fact, I use them, still. She said:
“There is NOTHING you can do that we can not fix.” She encouraged me to have confidence, to try. I tried. Eventually, I figured out what I was doing. Became fantastic at it, if I do say so myself.
All these years later, I am still fantastic. At least, I WAS fantastic. Until being moved to a completely new job and making entirely new and foreign mistakes.
I KNOW I will get things down, again. I just have to keep trying. I HAVE to forgive my mistakes. I am NOT my mistakes. Neither are you, yours.
This being the case, maybe I can finally move past not being there to lay dad to rest, huh?
Yikes!
Egads!
You are right. I am NOT my mistakes. Also, not being able to go was not a mistake. It’s called a life happens. Life happened. I’m sorry, dad. If I were to keep it completely 100, I don’t think I was strong enough to go.
Back to my raging fever and really dumb work mistake. I figured out what I was doing(who knew!), took care of the issue, did NOT shut the company down from said ‘I have no idea’, clocked out and kept it moving.
Then, I did something completely okay. I let myself NOT be okay, about not feeling okay, not doing ‘okay today’, not being in my house on the ocean, today, not having someone to cool my fever, today.
For five blessed minutes, I ALLOWED myself to be okay with not being okay. Just let myself feel the weight of needs not yet met, dreams not yet fulfilled, life just, well being life. Felt those things, owned those things, then crawled wearily into bed and stood:
On God’s Word.
On God’s CHARACTER.
On God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for me.
There is absolutely NOTHING that will keep us from being:
Loved.
Seen.
Heard.
Respected.
Cherished.
By God. By Life. By others(as we allow). By ourselves(as we allow).
It has been a long week. Long year. Good yikes, let’s not even mention the words ‘2020’….*shiver*…
In learning my new job, folks kept telling me to ‘just breathe’. ALL week, ‘Just breathe, Cassandra. It will be okay’. For the life of me, could not figure out why everyone kept telling us all to just….breathe.
I kept saying, I can breathe, just have no idea WHAT I AM DOING!!!!!
Finally, yesterday, I decided to stop arguing and just…..well…..just breathe….*shrug*.
I took one calming breath, and wouldn’t you know, ALL my anxiety passed. Just like that. I was able to think(who woulda thunk that!?), learn and take care of the issue.
It’s amazing how taking the time to:
Stop.
Breathe.
Focus.
Begin.
Turned my whole day around. The day wasn’t bad. Just long. Exhausting. Working with a fever has been no great shakes, believe me.
Yet, doing so has really helped me. It has forced me to, give extra time and care to myself. It has forced me to be more tolerant of my mistakes and the mistakes of others. It has forced me to, get more rest. It has really forced me to, see how much I had been pushing myself.
I love working hard. Makes me feel as though I have earned my keep. Being so sick, I have been taking stock, to see where I can work smarter, not necessarily harder.
I liken it to doing too much exercise. Yes, exercise is good for you, and necessary. But, doing too much, too fast, too hard, too early only breaks us down. I think we all over do, over exert, at times, in our lives. I think we over exert thinking the extra effort is what is needed to get us over the top.
Sometimes, it does take that little extra. Many times, though, we have already done all we know to do. All we can do, is the best we can do. It’s hard to not want to dig up the plants, though, to make sure they are growing. That, WE are growing.
The bible says that it is:
Zechariah 4:6-8 –6 Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the Lord unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.7 Who art thou, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, grace unto it.
God and Life just asks us to try. THEY will do the heavy lifting. Trying is not always easy. Trying when you are alone, seems awfully lonesome, at times. Trying when you seem to be the only one, seems awfully lonesome, at times. Trying when all the trying can be trying and you are so tired of trying to keep on trying….*sigh*.
Yet, in ALL the struggles, in all the aloneness, in all the loneliness, there is great comfort in knowing we ARE growing. We ARE going where we need to be going.
What’s more, we do NOT go it alone. We have our posse:
God.
Life.
Yikes!
Egads!
One another.
Our family.
Our friends.
Ourselves.
So, just…breathe. Just, take a breath. Close your eyes. You have and are doing all you know to do. This is enough. It is all that is required.
ALL things have their end. Good and not so hot. Hang in there. For just a little while longer, okay?
You got this. We can. We will. Make it. Together.
God believes in you. Life believes in you. I believe in you. Jaybird says to tell fear, doubt, discouragement and whatever is keeping you from keeping on to go kick some rocks!
Cry won but that’s okay Friday, October 16, 2026 Beloveds, Sometimes the tears win. And I want to say that plain. Not dramatically.Not apologetically.Not like it means faith packed up and left the room. Sometimes, cry wins. And that is okay. Sometimes the body is tired.Sometimes the heart is carrying more than words can properly … Continue reading Cry won but that’s okay.→
Fear. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Hopeless. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Despair. Not. Not TODAY! Desperate. Not. ✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Disheartened. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY!🖖🏿 Discouraged. Not.✋🏿 Not TODAY! Today I planned something fun for 6p. Health said, Nah Fam, refusing to release it’s grip, on my numb left hand. Leaving me: Stuck in bed, … Continue reading Not TODAY!→
Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM Find Somewhere New to Meet Yourself Beloveds, We’ve spent this week talking about you. Not me. You. The person who sometimes misses who you used to be. The person learning what to do when simple things aren’t simple anymore. The person remembering that being alone doesn’t always mean … Continue reading Friday, October 16, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
There’s room for all of us — Bring it home Friday, October 16, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, It’s FRIDAY! 💃🏿 And look at us! We made it to the end of another week. Some of us came through smiling. Some of us came through wondering what in the world happened between Monday and today. … Continue reading There’s room for all of us — Bring it home.→
Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛 Friday, October 16, 2026 | 8:00 AM Good morning, Beloveds! 🥰☕️ Just stopping by to remind somebody of something this morning. YOU GOT THIS! 💪🏿❤️ I know. Life has a way of throwing things at us that we never saw coming. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get discouraged. And … Continue reading Keep on Keeping On 🌅💛.→
Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM You Don’t Have to Want Your Whole Old Life Back Beloveds, Here’s something we don’t say enough. You can miss parts of your old life without wanting the whole thing back. You can miss the house and not miss what happened inside it. You can miss the job … Continue reading Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
I woke up hurting TODAY. I’m frustrated TODAY. I don’t feel like doing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel like seizing TODAY. I don’t feel lovable TODAY. I don’t feel loveable TODAY. I don’t feel TODAY. I don’t feel anything TODAY. Me: God, I don’t know how to do TODAY. God: … Continue reading Even then. Even when. →
Two things can be true, beloveds. Thursday, October 15, 2026 — 12:00 PM Beloveds, Yesterday, we talked about giving ourselves permission to feel. Today, I want to talk about something else. What happens when we feel two things at the same time? And neither feeling wants to move over and give the other one some … Continue reading Two things can be true, beloved.→
Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM Nobody Was Missing From the Room Beloveds, Can we stop treating being alone like somebody forgot to show up? Sometimes nobody is missing. Sometimes the room has exactly the right number of people in it. One. You. There are people who love being surrounded by people. There are … Continue reading Wednesday, October 14, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Beloveds, I feel stuck. Stuck between two worlds: Hopeful, yet wondering. Able, yet, hesitant. Joyful, yet, wandering. Stuck in the middle of… New life. Old life. Future life. Nevertheless/however Cassandra lives. Ah, God, why must I be stuck in the middle. I trust You. I’m learning to trust me, too. Thank You for loving me … Continue reading Stuck between two worlds.→
Give yourself permission, beloveds. To: Feel. Fear. Cry. Worry. Fret. Fuss. Holler. Howl. Whatever. Whenever. However. Beloveds, it’s important to give yourself permission and room to feel however you feel. Folk ought stop lying 🤥 about how they truly feel. Yesterday, my heart ached. I had to pick up my bifocals and reading glasses 👓 … Continue reading Give yourself permission, beloveds.→
Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM When Simple Things Aren’t Simple Anymore Beloveds, Yesterday we talked about missing who you used to be. Tonight, I want to talk about something that can come with that. Sometimes the things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore. Getting out of the house. Going somewhere alone. … Continue reading Tuesday, October 13, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM When You Miss Who You Used to Be Beloveds, This week isn’t about me. Something I wrote recently got me thinking about how easy it is to miss who we used to be when life changes on us. But I don’t want to spend this week telling you … Continue reading Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM→
The world seems upside down, beloveds. Literally. I can’t tell you the joys of putting on upside down pants👖 🙃🫠🤔🤤😑 Joy came to help me out. Annoyed stayed Annoyed and was no use for anyone. Hard decided to be nice, for once, and handed me fresh briefs. The Father, ever ready, with the toilet paper, … Continue reading When everything seems like it’s upside-down…→
I miss my wombie. I miss my twin. Not in a sad way. In a ” what’s up with you ” way. I’m thinking of you, sis. How are you? Your 🦁 Detroit Lions won today. I miss the sound of your voice, sis. Look after Russell and Jr. and all who have gone before. … Continue reading I miss my wombie.→
REST. Beloveds, It’s Sunday morning. Come sit with us for a minute. 🪑🪑 You don’t have to bring anything. Not what you accomplished this week. Not what you didn’t accomplish. Not the thing you still haven’t figured out. Not an explanation for why you’re tired. Just you. Come sit. There’s a chair for you here. … Continue reading Sunday Morning with My Bestie and me.→
Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026 K-PAX Beloveds, We made it to Saturday. 🍿 Maybe this week was wonderful. Maybe this week wore you slap out. Maybe not much happened at all. Maybe you have been waiting all week for somebody to please stop needing something from you. 😆 Whatever kind of week you had, you … Continue reading Saturday Matinee 🍿🎬October 11, 2026→
We got this! This music 🎶 is so uplifting.! No matter your walk, or lack thereof, God got us. Be encouraged. Be patient with yourself, beloved. You can still do so much more than you give yourself credit for! Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
I wish I could Friday, October 9, 2026 Beloveds, I wish I could. Four little words. Sometimes they carry an awful lot of life. There are things I used to do without thinking about them. Ordinary things. Private things. Things that didn’t require planning, assistance, or a conversation with my body about whether we were … Continue reading I wish I could.→
