Saying the hard part outloud: Do it now.

Writing 3 Minutes

I’m tired. Super tired. It has been a long week. Yet, it has been on my heart to get back to blogging. It was time. I missed my peeps, meaning you, beloveds. I think of folks on the daily, creating all manner of awesome posts, in my mind, as I meander through out this ridiculous thing called my life.

I found fatigue, battling with the urge to blog, with fatigue beginning to win out. Yet, knowing life is so very short, I blearily, wearily, mindnumbingly tiredly began my ramblings. Poor yall…*shrug*….it’s not my fault, mind you. I just love folk, love checking on them, praying for hem, wondering what the world they are up to, writing, writing, writing, writing. Good yikes, so much writing can be tiring but writers just HAVE to write, you know? I imagine it’s the same, with whatever you do or long to do. Something inside you just have to have to, dontchaknow?

Anywho, I made myself get on here as life is just too short and none of us know what the world, what the day, may or may not bring.

Case in point, before mom passed away Christmas Morning 2016(dammit), I had been making plans to go see her, that March. You see, I had FINALLY purchased my first car. A brand new car! I had also, FINALLY, been able to get my credit to show and the number was so fantastic I was offered 50 million thousand credit cards.

That said, I secured a couple of credit cards. One, I had especially and specifically for trips so I could get a hotel, gas etcetera and be able to take time off work to go see mom. Before, I did not own a car. I used one of my sister’s car to get back and forth to work. It was an older car not meant for the road.

So, excitedly, I called mom and told her I would be coming to see her in March! I was excited. She was excited. Sadly, someone forgot to tell God and He was hankering for her, missing her, so called her home early Christmas morn to celebrate Jesus’ birthday in person. My, that must have been a sight! I can’t blame Jesus. I loved her too…..*sniff*.

I have to be honest and say that I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry at God, at the world, at EVERYTHING for taking my mom away. I shouted at the heavens that dammit I finally had a brand new damned car and a blasted damned special credit card that had plenty of space where I could go hang out with mom and do whatever we damned pleased.

It just wasn’t fair, dammit, for life to take her before I was ready. It seemed cruel. I raged and raged why in the fresh hell wasn’t I given enough time with the damned new car to be able to hang out with my mom. Why, she had/has never set foot in it….*sigh*.

It was hard, yea, is hard STILL, thinking of all the nevers that I shall never have with my mom, again. In fact, those nevers were so hard I wanted to give up, did give up, on future hopes, dreams, desires and all the things she would never see me be, have, or do.

Over these last 8 years, with help from God, from Life, from Yikes!, Egads!, beloveds, work, hard things, hard, circumstances, situations and the like, I was able to claw myself from underneath bushels and baskets full of grief in order to move on with life. To get on with it. ALL of it: the good, the bad, and the ugly. ALL comes with the territory.

Although, I shall never see mom, again, I CAN and I DO encourage folks to not wait to see this person, to do that thing. To let folk know that though they may plan for a March, that a Christmas morn may well show up, instead…*sigh*.

With all this on my tired mind, I reach out, beloveds, in hopes that you might heed these words and love someone, today, NOW, beginning with you.

In case no one has yet told you:

God SEES you.

God LOVES you.

God CARESE DEEPLY for you life.

As, do I.

Be encouraged.

Do you.

BE you.

ALL of you. Stop hiding the parts you think are unacceptable. It is THOSE parts this world needs to see and receive the most. We need what you have to give. We need you, period. Never forget that your life was worth the death of The King, Jesus. He has your back. As, do I.

caring for you as best as I can,

Cassandra aka Jaybird aka Sweetpea

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Unknown's avatar

Published by Cassandra S.

Published

2 thoughts on “Saying the hard part outloud: Do it now.”

Your thoughts matter! Let us know how you feel.