“Act your age.”

Really?

What, pray tell, is THAT age?

I turned 55, on November 3rd. In my heart, I am 25. I have been, and ever shall be, 25 and counting, for the rest of my days.

Why?

Because it is MY age. MY life. MY choice.

I have been seeing TikToks lately, admonishing ‘older folk’ to:

Dress this way.

Don’t dress that way.

Don’t dye your hair.

Dye your hair.

Go there.

Do NOT go there.

Leave your husband/family and DO you….smh.

Now, beloveds, I do NOT, for the life of me, understand where this trend seems to be that it’s okay to blow up one’s life simply because the TikTok/social media masses are doing so.

Don’t yall know, by now, that most of these folk are running game on you to get all up in your wallets?…smh.

I have also seen where folks are ‘seeing the light’ after having trashed their lives, for clicks, clickbait and dollars. Only to understand, FINALLY, how short life is. Now they are trying to reverse engineer their choices and profit NOW on ‘doing the right thing’. Apparently, there is a new dollar stream in ‘acting right after acting a complete and utter fool until one gets too old to do so’.

How about we all act right because it IS right to do right?

Okay, speech over.

I guess I am trying to encourage folk to just BE.

Who YOU are.

Not who the world tells you that you ought or have to be.

Do because you wish to do.

As for me and my house, I feel like eating tater tots and fruit snacks. They make me feel like a kid again. They make me smile. I think I shall allow myself to BE a kid again. For the night. Tomorrow? I shall put on my big girl pants and do the day.

Act your age. Whatever the age YOU choose…lol. Life is short. Enjoy your moments. ALL of them.

Be encouraged. I keep saying that because I need to hear it. These have been some discouraging days. So what? I embrace the hard. I am growing. Though, I would rather spend these days hiding under a mountain of comforters!

Take care of your heart. Love on you for me, would you please? Asking for A Friend.

here as best as I can,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: In case no one has told you today:

I love you.

You CAN.

You WILL.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

• SUNDAY WITH CASSANDRA. IT ME!
• MOVIE SATURDAY WITH CASSANDRA🌎🎬👩🏿‍🦼🍿🌎
• (no title)
• Today…
• 🎬 MAYBE THEY WEREN’T “TOO BLACK.” MAYBE I WAS STILL HOLDING THE RULER. 🪑🔑Beloveds,I told you I caught myself watching Black romance movies and thinking:Too loud.Too boisterous.Too Black.😳And the Holy Spirit convicted me.Then I watched Deliver Us from Eva.WHEW.👀Because suddenly I wasn’t only watching Eva.I was looking at the ruler I sometimes used to measure everybody.Let’s start with Eva.She’s intelligent, professional, beautiful, protective, loving, bossy, controlling, loyal and complicated.All of it.🔑She doesn’t have to become either the Angry Black Woman Who Needs Taming or the Strong Black Woman Whose Every Choice Must Be Defended.Eva needs correction AND Eva deserves dignity.She helped raise her sisters after their parents died. Protection became part of her identity.But eventually protection sometimes became control.⛓️ If I don’t manage everybody, everything will fall apart.🔑 I can love grown people without controlling grown people.Her sisters need a key too.You cannot keep handing somebody the clipboard to your life and then get mad because she keeps writing on it.🤣Eva has to stop managing.Her sisters have to start owning.Everybody gets a chair.🪑And YES—THE MEN TOO.🤣🪑🪑🪑🪑Ray begins by deceiving Eva.That matters.But eventually “the problem” becomes a person to him.Eva.And Ray changes.🔑 Sometimes genuinely knowing somebody destroys the caricature we created from a distance.But Ray deserves his own humanity too.He’s working, dreaming, saving, flawed, funny, romantic, masculine and tender.He doesn’t need to become a CEO before he’s worthy of love.There’s that ten-times-better ruler again.👀Then Mike.Mike has a legitimate frustration with Eva’s interference.His solution?SIR. SIT DOWN.🪑🤣Because here’s another key:🔑 A legitimate grievance does not automatically make every remedy legitimate.Pain deserves acknowledgment.Choices still require accountability.Then Tim made me ask:What does a Black man have to look like before we consider him “man enough”?Dominant?Always in charge?Never soft?Never uncertain?Why?Tim doesn’t need more masculinity.He needs his voice.🔑A loud Black woman shouldn’t have to shrink.A quieter Black man shouldn’t have to perform dominance.Both get chairs.And Darrell?🤣Some people are intellectual heavyweights.And some people are…Darrell.🤣❤️HE GETS A CHAIR TOO.Intelligence isn’t the admission price for dignity.Sophistication isn’t the admission price for love.Black people are allowed to be ordinary.Goofy.Messy.Wrong.Funny.Tender.Brilliant.Ridiculous.Rich.Poor.Loud.Quiet.Human.And suddenly the Holy Spirit’s conviction went deeper.Maybe I had become nervous when Black characters weren’t representing us “well enough.”What will THEY think?Why are they so loud?Why aren’t they more polished?More educated?More professional?More respectable?More…acceptable?😳And suddenly I’m not watching a movie.I’m conducting a performance review of Blackness.⛓️That’s exhausting.Because Black characters should not have to carry the reputation of an entire people on their backs.And sometimes, without realizing it—we help load the backpack.That was part of what the Holy Spirit showed me.Not merely:Cassandra, look at them.But:Cassandra, look at your ruler.👀Who handed it to you?Why are you still carrying it?And I knew part of the answer.Ten times better.There was love and survival inside what Black folk taught me.They were preparing me for an unfair world.But:“You may have to be ten times better to receive the opportunity”can quietly become:“Black people SHOULD be ten times better.”NO.❤️‍🩹I reject that.Black excellence is beautiful.Black dignity is unconditional.Eva gets correction and dignity.Ray gets tenderness and accountability.Mike gets frustration and responsibility.Tim gets quietness and voice.Darrell gets goofiness and dignity.The sisters get love and agency.Nobody has to become less Black.Nobody has to become ten times more human.EVERYBODY GETS A CHAIR.🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑And maybe that’s what the Holy Spirit was really asking me:Cassandra, why are you still holding the ruler?😳My answer?I’m learning to put it down.🔑And maybe you have one too.Race.Education.Disability.Age.Money.Accent.Religion.Politics.Body size.Mental illness.Addiction.Sexuality.Somebody whose life simply doesn’t look like yours.Don’t perform an answer for me.Be honest with you. For, HIM.🙏🏿What ruler are you carrying?Who handed it to you?Who have you measured with it?Have you measured yourself with it too?And if the Holy Spirit is showing it to you, maybe He isn’t giving you the ruler so you can beat yourself with it.Maybe He’s saying:Child. You don’t need that anymore.Put it down.🔑❤️‍🩹Pull up your chair.🪑Let somebody else pull up theirs.And let people be fully human in front of you.Including—you.👩🏿‍🦼💃🏿❤️‍🔥🌎Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!Unapologetically His.Unapologetically yours.