…sit, today.
…give up, today.
…give in, today.
Any other questions, satan? Circumstances? Health? Issues?
Yall can ALL kick some rocks.
I AM:
Protected.
Loved.
Valued.
Seen.
Heard.
Cherished.
Life can be and has been hard.
Nevertheless, we stand.
However, we shall NEVER, ever, ever, give up on ourselves, on each other.
Keep standing.
Cassandra
Real talk. Standing, with a fever, good Yikes!
No, fun. I can imagine, it’s the same for you:
Wondering, if these trials will EVER end.
Wondering, if standing will EVER become easy.
Wondering, if our broken pieces, will be healed.
Wondering, if knowing we are NOT our broken pieces, are enough to soothe our tired spirit.
It is at times like these, super hard times, super lonely times, super frustrating times that I have experienced the RELENTLESS Love of God. For ME.
HE has carried me, through days that have been really tough.
HE has laughed with me, when fever has wanted me to run out in the street howling for relief.
HE has read Psalms 27, 30, 31 and 91 with me, as fever mocked me to give up already, as the enemy tried to convince me to stop standing and just forget the whole thing.
HE, My Awesome Father, has said, just rest, turn off the phone, and lean ON ME. Just try. Just stand on:
My Word.
My CHARACTER.
My Deep and Abiding Love for YOU!
God loves us. We got this. Hard days. Easy days. We got this. For, God and Life, has our back. They really do. It may not feel like, it today. It may well not feel like it, tomorrow. Yet, God holds today. He holds tomorrow. How much safer/loved can we be?
You have come far, beloved. Keep going. It’s just the fever talking. Let the fever do it’s work. God IS healing. The fever WILL pass.
We have ALREADY won. If Jesus, is Your Homie. If, Your Father, God, resides, IN you, you have already won the lottery. The rest is just the cherry on top of our sundae!
Keep going. If you are too tired, to fight, rest a moment. It’s perfectly okay to not be okay until you become okay. Okay?
The very fact that you question where you are, is prime example you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be! Remember, God and Life have ALREADY calculated our failures, our lapses, our failings, our successes, our lack thereof into the equation.
We are:
MORE THAN conquerors.
Kids of the King.
Loved, beyond measure.
Precious, beyond ALL price.
Arise, beloved! Jump into Dad’s Arms and let Him love on you, today. He is there. You are NOT alone. You are NOT lost. Just a bit feverish, perhaps, like me.
I was so pitiful I got up, turned on some lights and having me a nice Dance Party. Join me. Tell your fever, doubt, fear, anxt to kick some rocks!
dancing with and for you.
Cassandra TRIUMPHANT ALWAYS!
*sigh*
The work day ended really rough. Wouldn’t you know I would get a call literally FIVE minutes before shift ended.
I had been praying, for hours, for the shift to end. Needed to take some medication, lick the days wounds, lay down, and, as dad used to say ‘try it again, tomorrow’.
My brain was foggy with fever, fatigue and trying to learn things that just made no sense! Dammit! 🤬😰🤢
So, of COURSE, the phone rings, FIVE MINUTES FROM FREEDOM! DAMMIT!!
Cue music. Cue up colossal I have absolutely NO idea last issue.
Dammit, I don’t feel well!
Dammit, I don’t know what I am doing!
Dammit, God WHY did you snatch my job like that?! I shouldn’t be struggling like this!
Yikes!
Whew, thank goodness you showed up for me, Yikes! Thanks for helping me to realize it’s just one issue. Not 50. Thanks for helping me to realize it’s a mistake that can be fixed. Short of that, I have learned what NOT to do next time.
I can remember when I started my job almost 11 years ago. My dad had passed away, earlier in the year. I had just lost my job 29 days before that and had struggled to find another job.
I went from making decent money to 75 percent less of that, with unemployment.
Yikes!
Egads!
Yea, tell me about it, fellas!
Being without a job, finding it hard to find another, getting the phone call dad had passed…*sigh*…just a truly hard and awful time.
Between dad’s passing, and finding a job, I had to make the absolutely AWFUL/HARD soul-crushing decision to keep looking for a job, taking care of weekly things, in order to keep my unemployment and missing dad’s service.
*sigh*……DAMMIT!!
I had talked to mom. She understood. Life was hard. Money, non existent. Told myself to put on my big girl panties, like dad taught us, and to keep it moving. I kept it moving. Just barely. Just barely.
Yikes!
By the time I had found my job, well, I had done such a terrific job of kicking my own ass:
For being an awful daughter: What daughter chooses looking for work over laying her dad to rest? Who DOES THAT, CASSANDRA??!
For not find a job faster: How HARD can it be to find a job, already? Don’t you know the bills are piling up, the savings are almost gone and it is cold outside!(we had record freezing temps forever).
For being a horrible encourager/Christian: After I lost my job, after losing my dad, the bed became my best friend. Moved in, permanently I thought/hoped. Laid in bed, for hours upon hours, hidden beneath mounds of covers, wondering if I would ever find a job, if I would ever stop feeling like the worst daughter in the history of mankind. You can forget about me standing. Wasn’t standing. Far from it. Spent too much time in bed, terrified, terrorizing myself for being human, I guess, and wondered if the nightmare would end.
Cue music. Job found. Sun came out. Warmth ensued. Okay, it was still freezing, but, the sun did come out. I remember sitting at my desk, the first night, starting at the screen and wondering ‘what the fresh hell!’. I had NO clue what I was doing. NO idea.
My boss must have seen my terror/anxt/fear and came up to me. She said words I shall NEVER forget. I think of them, to this very day. In fact, I use them, still. She said:
“There is NOTHING you can do that we can not fix.” She encouraged me to have confidence, to try. I tried. Eventually, I figured out what I was doing. Became fantastic at it, if I do say so myself.
All these years later, I am still fantastic. At least, I WAS fantastic. Until being moved to a completely new job and making entirely new and foreign mistakes.
I KNOW I will get things down, again. I just have to keep trying. I HAVE to forgive my mistakes. I am NOT my mistakes. Neither are you, yours.
This being the case, maybe I can finally move past not being there to lay dad to rest, huh?
Yikes!
Egads!
You are right. I am NOT my mistakes. Also, not being able to go was not a mistake. It’s called a life happens. Life happened. I’m sorry, dad. If I were to keep it completely 100, I don’t think I was strong enough to go.
Back to my raging fever and really dumb work mistake. I figured out what I was doing(who knew!), took care of the issue, did NOT shut the company down from said ‘I have no idea’, clocked out and kept it moving.
Then, I did something completely okay. I let myself NOT be okay, about not feeling okay, not doing ‘okay today’, not being in my house on the ocean, today, not having someone to cool my fever, today.
For five blessed minutes, I ALLOWED myself to be okay with not being okay. Just let myself feel the weight of needs not yet met, dreams not yet fulfilled, life just, well being life. Felt those things, owned those things, then crawled wearily into bed and stood:
On God’s Word.
On God’s CHARACTER.
On God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for me.
There is absolutely NOTHING that will keep us from being:
Loved.
Seen.
Heard.
Respected.
Cherished.
By God. By Life. By others(as we allow). By ourselves(as we allow).
I am NOT my mistakes. You are NOT yours.
Keep going. You CAN. You WILL. As will I.
Cassandra FLYING DENTED
#YourLIfeMattersToMe
It has been a long week. Long year. Good yikes, let’s not even mention the words ‘2020’….*shiver*…
In learning my new job, folks kept telling me to ‘just breathe’. ALL week, ‘Just breathe, Cassandra. It will be okay’. For the life of me, could not figure out why everyone kept telling us all to just….breathe.
I kept saying, I can breathe, just have no idea WHAT I AM DOING!!!!!
Finally, yesterday, I decided to stop arguing and just…..well…..just breathe….*shrug*.
I took one calming breath, and wouldn’t you know, ALL my anxiety passed. Just like that. I was able to think(who woulda thunk that!?), learn and take care of the issue.
It’s amazing how taking the time to:
Stop.
Breathe.
Focus.
Begin.
Turned my whole day around. The day wasn’t bad. Just long. Exhausting. Working with a fever has been no great shakes, believe me.
Yet, doing so has really helped me. It has forced me to, give extra time and care to myself. It has forced me to be more tolerant of my mistakes and the mistakes of others. It has forced me to, get more rest. It has really forced me to, see how much I had been pushing myself.
I love working hard. Makes me feel as though I have earned my keep. Being so sick, I have been taking stock, to see where I can work smarter, not necessarily harder.
I liken it to doing too much exercise. Yes, exercise is good for you, and necessary. But, doing too much, too fast, too hard, too early only breaks us down. I think we all over do, over exert, at times, in our lives. I think we over exert thinking the extra effort is what is needed to get us over the top.
Sometimes, it does take that little extra. Many times, though, we have already done all we know to do. All we can do, is the best we can do. It’s hard to not want to dig up the plants, though, to make sure they are growing. That, WE are growing.
The bible says that it is:
Zechariah 4:6-8 –6 Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the Lord unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.7 Who art thou, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, grace unto it.
God and Life just asks us to try. THEY will do the heavy lifting. Trying is not always easy. Trying when you are alone, seems awfully lonesome, at times. Trying when you seem to be the only one, seems awfully lonesome, at times. Trying when all the trying can be trying and you are so tired of trying to keep on trying….*sigh*.
Yet, in ALL the struggles, in all the aloneness, in all the loneliness, there is great comfort in knowing we ARE growing. We ARE going where we need to be going.
What’s more, we do NOT go it alone. We have our posse:
God.
Life.
Yikes!
Egads!
One another.
Our family.
Our friends.
Ourselves.
So, just…breathe. Just, take a breath. Close your eyes. You have and are doing all you know to do. This is enough. It is all that is required.
ALL things have their end. Good and not so hot. Hang in there. For just a little while longer, okay?
You got this. We can. We will. Make it. Together.
God believes in you. Life believes in you. I believe in you. Jaybird says to tell fear, doubt, discouragement and whatever is keeping you from keeping on to go kick some rocks!
KNOW, of a surety that you ARE:
Loved.
Seen.
Heard.
Respected.
Cherished.
Keep it moving.
His and yours,
Cassandra
Be encouraged, today. The week is at it’s end. You have done your part. It’s time to put down the tools, the boxing gloves, whatever you have been using to blast through your mountain and get some rest.
The sun, SHALL rise, again. The dark is nothing to fear. Light and Day are the same, far as God and Life are concerned. Do not fear, the quietness of evening. Let it come. Allow the quietness of night, to blaken you. No idea if this is even a word but sounds comforting to me: blaken. Like a warm blanket, soothing the soul.
Be encouraged, today.
Jaybird
#YourLifeMattersToMe
it was an interesting read, broken down within characters explaining detail after detail.
awesome
What a beautiful way to begin the morning—with love flowing in every direction. ❤️ From Father and Jesus to Mom,…
What a beautiful reminder that progress doesn’t always have to be dramatic to be meaningful. 💙 “One step. One step.…
Time to celebrate!
You are:
Living, not surviving.
Loving, not hiding.
Receiving, not repelling.
Accepting, not resigning.
Standing, not complaining.
Fighting, not retiring.
Look at you! Growth looks good, on you!
Keep going. You can do this. You WILL do this.
with you.
Cassandra
So, I admit it, was ready to kick my laptop across the room. For the life of me, I could not remember new terms, process the old terms I thought I knew, get my brain/fingers to get some act right.
FINALLY, a gracious, patient peer walked me through things I ALREADY knew. Only, I am so new, I don’t know what I already know. Know what I mean?
It is soooooooooooooooo easy, to get down on ourselves, for not KNOWING fast enough. It takes time. To, learn. To, grow. It takes, time, for seeds to take hold, to take ROOT, to get GROUNDED.
ALL we are required to do is to, try, work as best we can, and ALLOW the growth to take place.
I am learning to:
Laugh, at my mistakes.
Embrace, the icky ‘I have no idea’ feelings.
Be patient, with me.
God and Life will ALWAYS make sure we have people/things, in place, to help us as we grow. We growin’ peeps!
Cut yourself some slack, already!
Til you get there, throw yourself a Dance Party, cut up with God and Life, rejoice in the fact you are LIVING, NOT SURVIVING!!
YAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!
*Cassandra cuts a rug*…..*Cassandra getting down so she has caused God, Life, Yikes!, Egads! and The Host to come down and join her Dance Parta!!!!*
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
*Jesus tosses His Crown on The Throne, whisks Jaybird in His Arms and does an intricate twirl*
Dance Parta, yall!!!
We got this!!
Never, ever, ever, ever, don’t you dare EVER give up on you! Too much wonderful, in you, for that.
Tell pity, to kick rocks. Tell frustration ‘I laugh at thee!’ and keep it moving.
dancing with and for you,
Cassandra
This ALWAYS cracks me up.
Unfortunately, true story, also…
Hang in there! Keep doing you, looking up, looking out for one another.
Jaybird 😎🤷♀️
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cassandra
Nothing like a raging fever, frustrating work situations, and a really LOUD neighbor, to help one to embrace tough times, while continuing to stand, joyfully.
It’s super easy, to stand when all is well. Let me tell you, I wanted to have a really, really, really nice pity party, this morning. Work was, well, work. Learning a completely new job has been…..
Yikes!
Egads!
Hey, needed yall for this post. What a morning we have had, eh?
Anywho, was contemplating:
A good crying jag.
Tossing my laptop over the porch rail.
A good cup of coffee.
Needless to say, am still typing so the laptop is still here. Settled for drinking my water, instead. And, laughing at my rough morning. Embracing all the ickies which comes with learning new things. Good crimeny learning new things, can be such a pain!!!
I told pity party to go kick rocks! I have come too far, to settle for only getting this far, know what I mean?
It’s crucial to understand the hard times won’t always be so blasted hard. The hard times, in the meantime, are strengthening faith muscles, increasing our patience, strengthening our standing muscles. Hard times work FOR our good, not in spite of, despite of, or might of.
We got this. Even the hard this’! We CAN and we WILL.
Keep going. If you are thinking of having a pity party, tell pity party to go kick some rocks! Turn the pity party into a praise party, at the very least. If you are too tired for a praise party, homies and homettes, you just too busy!
We can do ALL things, through Christ who loves us.
ALL things, work together for the good….
See? Standing on God’s Word and not on my discomfort.
It’s ok to not feel ok or be ok if not feeling ok. Okay?
His and yours,
Cassandra STRONG
#YourLIfeMattersToMe
#KeepGoing
#KickRocksPityParty!
Standing today, has been beyond hard. Has been near impossible, or so it seems.
Nevertheless, I have gotten so used to standing, no matter what, no matter why, and no matter who, that I find myself standing: AUTOMATICALLY.
Standing, when it’s hard, when it’s easy, no matter what, and doing so, EVERY day, will build muscles you have no idea you had.
I have not been well. In fact, a time or two, have actually wondered if I would be meeting mom sooner rather than later. NO joke. I can admit the fever, that has decided to come visit,…whew. I mean, whew, literally.
Have always appreciated the phrase ‘fatigue makes cowards of us all’. I can identify with this, today. This fever, I admit, for one half second, I WANTED to throw just a tiny, itsy bitsy, wee, kinda sorta pity party.
However, my spirit just would not go there. Too used to standing, I imagine. I scraped my way out of bed, drank my water, played my music in the background, worked best I could, and stood.
Even though I felt awful, all day, I rejoiced, ALL day. Rejoiced My Father, was with me, fever and all. Life, was with me, fever and all. Yikes! and Egads! took the day off and basically said ‘good luck with that’ when they took one look at my feverish face.
I rejoiced, as I am LIVING, not surviving.
I no longer, focus on how long things will take. I am no longer bothered by who will, or who won’t, or who can’t, or who didn’t.
All that matters, to me, now, ALL that matters, is letting people know, letting YOU know, that your life matters to me. I pray for you, every day. EVERY DAY. If your eyes read these words, they were written, for YOU.
Keep going, beloved. Keep going.
Life may be hard, right now. You may be alone, right now. Work may be tough, right now. You may not have a job, right now.
Whatever your, right now, may be, right now, KNOW these things:
God SEES you. God LOVES you. God CARES DEEPLY for your life.
Your life, matters to me.
YOU, matter.
Your thoughts, matter.
Your heart, matters.
Your broken pieces, matter.
Your hopes, matter.
Your dreams, matter.
You are NOT your broken pieces.
You are MORE THAN A CONQUEROR.
You are all of these things, and so very much more.
Keep going, beloved. Think on THESE things. Think not on what you don’t yet have, what you may never have, and on and on. You have NO idea what God and Life has in store for you.
If you hear nothing else, HEAR ME:
You do NOT have to earn love. It is freely given to you. ALL you need do, beloved, is to RECEIVE it. ALLOW love in. Yes, it can be terrifying. Not knowing if love will return to you. It will. I promise, it will.
Love YOU, first. Allow others, in. Don’t you think it time? Life is so short.
Be encouraged. Be encouraged. We got this. I got you. God and Life has us all.
His and yours,
Cassandra STANDING ALWAYS
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 
thanks for the check-in Cassandra. I’ve been on edge and restless the last few days. I have a flight coming…