Thank You for remaining silent.

This may sound like THE most asinine statement I have ever made. Note, I have made some really ridiculous statements:

I am THANKFUL that God and Life did not answer my prayer for rest/sabbatical. I was soooooooooo tired mentally, emotionally, physically I could do nothing but see and feel my CIRCUMSTANCES. I became my circumstances. I no longer overcame them. My circumstances had overcome ME.

After that, ALL I could focus was on circumstances of what I thought I saw. All I saw were obstacles I could never really overcome. Not, really. Not, me.

Before, I would have focused on the circumstances. Now, in having gone THROUGH the circumstances, I have learned how to live and be content in the midst of the fiercest battle. I have discovered I can move about in the most heated furnace. I have found I can live, with intention, not dreading the rocks in my shoe.

God and Life have the rocks from my shoes and have given them as diamonds in my hands.

Thank You, God.

Thank You, Life.

For remaining silent.

For teaching me how to speak, how to stand, how to try, how to love, how to endure, how to persevere, how to be content, how to…

Ah.

Aha!

How to!

These past dreams not coming to decades have been me writing my how to. Now, I give my how to to you, beloveds, that you may live. Now, right now, in need of nothing more than being you.

My sabbatical has come.

I rest now.

Speak now, God.

Speak now, Life.

I am ready.

resting,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

There are times.

There are times when I feel as if I could go all day.

There are times when I feel as if I could not take another step.

There are times where I feel like I can take on the entire world.

There are times when I feel as though I couldn’t beat my way out of a wet paper bag.

There are times when I feel as though I am ten feet tall.

We’re at times when I feel smaller than an inch worm.

There are times when I care too much.

There are times when I could just care less.

There are times when I wish I could be anywhere but here.

There are times when here is all I want to be.

Yes there are times.

It’s my time.

Time I allow myself to be all that I am all the time.

being,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I’m thankful.

I’m thankful.

Thanks for the god did not answer my prayers.

I learn how to rely upon my faith.

I’m thankful.

Thankful that folks ignore my cry for love.

I learned how to love others in order that they know that they are loved.

I’m thankful for the heat.

The heat taught me to be thankful and content in all things and situations.

I’m thankful.

Thanks for I didn’t know how to make my dream come true.

I learned to keep going and to keep trying no matter how much I didn’t know.

I’m thankful for the hardness of the road.

I have learned how to enjoy the scenery no matter how many rocks I found in my shoe.

I’m thankful.

Thankful that’s some who called themselves my friend turn their back on me.

I learned how to turn around and to love them still.

I’m thankful.

Thankful for unfaithful friends.

I learned how to love others without strings or conditions.

I’m thankful.

Thankful for day full of unanswered questions.

I have learned to find the answers in the questions themselves.

I’m thankful.

Thankful for all my losses.

I have learned that losses come with the game.

I’m thankful.

Thankful for all the nos.

I have learned that no can be just as powerful as yes.

I’m thankful.

I’m grateful.

I am loved.

I am not alone.

I shall keep on being me.

forever grateful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Get out of your comfort(zone).

A satin pillow.

Mahogany.

Golden threads forming a wonderful tapestry.

Brown 🌎, ready to accept what you offer up.

An audience gathers to see your greatness.

You have arrived.

Finally.

FINALLY!

That which you have given so much for, has arrived.

Your EVERY move has led you to THIS moment.

You have kept your heart free, of love, for feat you would be hurt. You are, now, about to see the fruits of your labor.

You have kept your dreams small, to ensure you would not fail or be viewed, as a failure. Now, you are about to see something life-changing.

All of heaven strains to see…

God and Life muscle Their way forward to see…

Jesus, holding His Crown, strains to see…

A gold pillow, satin of such beauty it takes one’s breath, mahony polished to a high sheen.

*Cassandra stares silently as yet another casket is lowered, receiving yet another soul who was too afraid to truly live.*

Ah, beloveds, life is sooooooo very short. Live your life. Now. Now, beloveds, is all we have.

Don’t allow another second to pass without your reaching out for love and all that your heart has desired for so long.

Well I know how long the waiting can seem. I have learned how to enjoy each moment. I have learned to embrace the lonely. I have learned to enjoy getting to know ME. I have learned how to cut the cord on EVERY expectation from everyone. Even, me.

Especially, from me.

Keep going.

Keep loving.

Begin with you.

I would love to hear YOUR thoughts. Talk with me. Talk with those who love you. They will enjoy getting to know YOU.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Act like it.

If you love somebody then tell them.

Act like it.

If you’re ready to move forward go ahead and move forward.

Act like it.

If you say you trust God then go ahead and trust God.

Act like it.

If you love your job give your all to your job.

Act like it.

If you’re ready for God to move your mountain get your mountain boots on.

Act like it.

If you’re ready to show this world who you really are… show this world who you really are.

Act like it.

If you’re ready to be all you can be then get to be about being about it.

Act like it.

No more excuses.

Lift up to her head and be about it.

You get off your knees and move forward.

Raise up your hands and reach for the stars.

If you don’t catch the stars grab the moon.

This is your time.

Act like it.

getting after life with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Keep being you.

Folk just don’t make it easy, do they?

I have been doing my best to dialogue with as many folks as I can to help bridge the racial divide politicians and media are forever trying to shove down all our throats. They are doing this, for THEIR purposes. Not ours. They are doing this to stay in power/office.

I generally stay away from politics, on my blog. This morning, someone who does not look like me was chastising me and telling me to ‘change my culture’. That made me sigh.

*sigh*

I told him I was sad for him and for me in that he refused to even acknowledge me or my thoughts. I told him I was STILL his sis and to come visit my blog so I could love and support him.

I REFUSE to stop being me. I have had folks, who look like me, argue me down that I shouldn’t be happy/hopeful/joyful/prayerful because folks, who don’t look like me, are running the world and til THEY don’t, well, I guess I am supposed to stay forlorn/angry/apathetic and all the other excuses folks are using to keep their light either dim or put out because they are feeling put out.

We MUST, beloveds, keep on being us. Yes, life is no joke as a person of color. Yet, life is also no joke for folks who don’t look like me.

That being said, for the life of me, I can NOT understand why suffering and hardship can only be acceptable and accepted by a particular group.

Life is short. I love my folk of color. I also love my white bros and sis. They are super passionate, aren’t they? As are we. Exception being folk of color passion tends to be labeled as angry/unpatriotic/hostile/dangerous. Whilst, it seems, white folks can be angry and tear stuff up and it be considered passionate/caring about America/love of family etc.

I call BS. On us all. I start with me. I was part of the problem, truly, when being soooooooooooo angry I refused to even want to hear what others had to say. I was angry. Dammit! I had a right to be. Still do. Still am.

I CHOOSE, though, to love as many as I can so long as I have breath. Part of loving folk is sharing my truth and being willing and able to hear the truth of others. It also means calling myself and others on their BS. It also means being willing to teach folk, from my view. And, being willing to be taught, from other folks view.

This is not easy. So much is going on every which way.

Keep on being you. This world truly needs all that you are. We need your thoughts. We need your views. We need your love. We need your hope. We need your try. We need your frustrations as you work towards the best you.

In the meantime, I just wanted to tell you to be encouraged. Life is good. Even when it’s hard. Where you are, in your life, enjoy your moments. Make some awesome ones. Love someone. Begin with you.

I love you, divided America. We SHALL overcome our divide. Together.

here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Pound sand.

Discouragement came calling, today.

I told discouragement to go on ahead and pound sand!

Fear over finances came calling, today.

I told fear to take two seats AND pound sand!

Lonely came calling and carrying on about never going to have any folk who care.

I told lonely to shut the heck up and pound some sand!

Heat was hot.

Whew.

Next.

Tired came calling, today.

I told tired to pick up a shovel, get to work, and THEN pound sand!

Life is short. I have NO time for giving up and giving in. I don’t give two hoots how long, how far, how many, how few, not knowing when/how. Pound sand, defeat! I got thangs to do.

moving on,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going. I don’t give two hoots what is going on. Life is short. You got this.

It will.

Your mountain will move.

Even though it seems as though it never will.

It will.

Your try will keep on trying.

Even though it feels as though it won’t.

It will.

Your dream will come true in ways you had never dreamed or thought of.

Even as it seems nothing will EVER change.

It will.

It will, so long as you will, turn your will, your try, your fight, your anxt, your all that gets on your last nerves, over to God and Life to do whatever the world They do with all that, it will.

Whew.

Thank goodness.

Just knowing it is alright to know it will be alright but not be alright until the right is right and…smh. Too hot to untangle all of THAT.

Moral of story:

It will.

You will.

He will.

We will.

believing,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I want to…

I want to tell the whole damn world to go to hell and take some beach towels with them!

Why?

Let me count the ways…

lol.

I WON’T do that.

Instead, I will tell the whole damn world:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am all noted out. Of Note, I am running on empty. I love yall anyway.

The bill always comes due.

To my surprise, I find myself talking to you. I find myself talking to God. I find myself talking to life. Don’t ask me why. I kicked you all to the curb today. Now I find myself annoyed with me. I care too damn much not to care.

Yesterday the power went out. Due to the heat I imagine. It was hot. I had no power. The gnat0s were winning. I feel powerless. I am powerless.

One bill too many.

One gnat ⁰0too many.

One silent day too many.

I quit I said.

Let somebody else be about being about it.

I’m done giving two damns I said.

The world can kick rocks I said.

God said this too shall pass.

I know I said.

I decided to keep trying instead.

The bill always comes due.

*Cassandra leaves the check with God and keeps on keeping on.*

here barely but here still,

Cassandra

##YourLifeMattersToMe