WTW!?: Keep walking.

WTW?!

Fresh hell!

😳

Somebody could have warned me getting back in shape is hard?!!!

WTW?!

I must admit, beloveds, I seriously considered quitting, mid walk. Beats the heck out of me how I would be getting back home. All I knew, at the time, was it was hot, geezz Louise it was hot, fresh hell it was hot and dammit it was hot!!

Also, I had 50 good reasons why God and Life should carry me the rest of the way home. 49, of which, had something or other to do with it being so blasted hot!

Plus, I manipulatively manipulated, I was old! I was broke! I was fat!! I was lazy!! I was out of damn shape!!

God: Whose fault is that you accept these poor and untrue excuses?

Me: Mine.

God: Quit carrying on and hit the bricks!

Me: Geez!! Okay!

*Stomping up the stupid Incline, Cassandra completed her walk, contemplating the stupid upcoming stairs.

Stairs: You shall pay for that!

Me: I sowwy.

Keep going, beloveds. Change can be tough.

One step.

One step.

One step.

stepping up,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Keep going: When it gets harder.

Life has jokes.

Especially when you tell life you’re serious about your goals and dreams.

The second you tell Life I will, Life will send your will on a test of wills. Who will win? Who know? God does which us why He will stay out of your fight with your will, Life’s Will, the enemy’s will, circumstances’ will, situation’s will, family will, job wills, along with all the other wills and will not of life.

SHEEEEEESSHH!

No fair!

Life does NOT play fair. It appears to cheat, you lament, fervently, to God. God only shrugs, stays out of your way, gets back to reading the news, troubled by man’s act rights appearing not to act right…*Cassandra decides to mind her bidnezz and leave God to His cutting up chillin.*

Life, just as soon as you declare, loudly and proudly your intention to FINALLY live your life with intention and intentionally sets out to make you PROVE your intentions to be true.

Wham!

Pow!

Heat!

GNATS!

Rats.

Thankfully, for me, there were no rats. Can not stand pests. Life, though, has made Itself enough of a pest I have gotten used to all this hard.

I have learned how to adjust in, thrive in, conquer in, love in, rejoice in, kick tail in, keep walking in, keep trying in all this heat, hell and high water life keeps finding to throw at me.

Life knew and knows I can take it. Just needed to show ME, so I could KNOW and EXPERIENCE I got this.

I got this?🫣

I got this!!!!!!!

As do you, beloveds. Keep going. The steps will seem harder because they will be harder. Don’t fear the hard. Enjoy making those diamonds, called rocks, that will get caught in your shoes as you walk through all kinds of unknown inclines and challenges.

One step.

One step.

One step.

How big or small the step is beside the point. Just keep moving.

moving with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Keep walking: Incline unknown.

No idea my street ends on gradual incline. Sure would have been nice to know as the return walk gradually ascends leaving me gasping.

Walking early yesterday morning, I didn’t notice. Walking at high noon was an altogether horror show of what the fresh hell and where the world is my muscular knight of marriage material!

On top of the incline, the heat, the dear God in heaven why I why in the fresh hell did I want to get healthy anyway, I had the horror show coming of the stairs.

THE STAIRS!!!!

WWWWWHHHYYYY MMMEEE, JESUS?!

Finally, finally, thank heavens finally, I confronted the bane of my existence:

Stairs: Hit it, Cassandra.

Me: Take pity on me. I met incline, for the first time who does NOT play fair or mess around. I am soooo tired I forgot to put neither in front of not. Which is neither here nor there but take pity on me.

Incline: Not my fault you waited 7 years to introduce yourself then got to me late from sleeping in so you tearfully advised me in the high heat. Just as heat told you, not MY problem, Cassandra.

Heat: True that. I told night to tell you to stop messing around. Night’s day would be done, leaving you a tired mess.

Me: The air-conditioner felt night.

Air-conditioner: Hey! Don’t get to blaming me.

*Tired, hot and annoyed, Cassandra left incline, heat and air-conditioner to argue, gave stairs the bird, er, a high five, and clamored up the stairs.*

Whew!

Moral of the story? How the heck I know? Too busy gasping for air. Keep going yall. No matter what. Heat and all. Incline and all. Stairs and all. Get to the top step. One step at a time.

One step.

One step.

One step.

One step.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Stay in the ice, er, fight.

Stay in the fight.

You can take the heat.

You will beat the heat.

Lift up your head.

Look around you.

Look how far you’ve come.

Look at how many have given up because of the heat.

Yet you welcome it.

Despite the heat.

Because of the heat.

For you know the heat is nothing but the temperature.

The hotter it gets the better you go.

The hotter he gets…

The hotter you get.

Go along with your bad self.

Stay in a fight.

You are winning.

winning with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Due to this high heat I have become a master ice maker. I have got an ice making down to a science. I have learned what kind of containers to use. I have mine that some containers are just to the brittle. I have learned when I have used too much water. I have learned when I have not used enough water. I have found the perfect container to put the ice makers in. So that the water will run down into the container and not the freezer.

Stay in the fight, beloveds. Keep learning how to make your ice. You will learn what to use what not to use and how to use them. Life is short. There are times when the heat will be unbearable. Yet you will bear up under the heat. Keep walking. Keep rejoicing. Keep believing. You don’t allow your feelings to have the last say. I am on my way to an early morning walk. I don’t feel like going. That’s why I’m going. Walk with me. We go!

Who knew?: His gift to the world was me.

Wow!

Who knew?

God’s Gift, to this world, was ME!

Me!

I tried to talk Him out of it.

I told Him He could not POSSIBLY have thought of me as a gift to give this world.

Yes, He said.

No way, I shot back.

Can’t you see this tore up from the floor up old decrepit broke tired busted and disgusted piece of humanity, called me, couldn’t possible be….enough.

You are, He said.

Hecks naw, I retorted.

I love you, God said.

Why ever for, I exclaimed.

Just cuz, God replied.

Wow, I said.

I agree, He replied.

Who knew?

I did, God said.

Hmm.

*Cassandra stares at the ordinary being, called her, shrugged, and got about divvying up her foolishness upon the world.*

Sorry, yall, blame Him for all the foolishness coming from me, to you….hahahahahahahahahah

I love you, beloveds.

Love someone.

Begin, with you.

Life is so very short. You are soooooooooooooooooooo worthy of love. Stop dismissing yourselves because others were/are too hurt to love on you. Remember, you are loved and you are NOT alone. I got your backs, in prayer. Have mine.

Let me hear from you. Hit me up, as these young folks say, on my Contact Me Page. Bring a friend. We all need each other, eh?

One step(at a time): Don’t stop til you get to the top step.

One step.

One step.

One step.

One step.

One step.

My lungs were screaming and agony.

Morning one of walk one.

The first.

Of many.

How many?

Who knows.

I begin.

With one step.

With one try.

Just one.

I don’t worry if I will make it or not.

I try.

I take one step.

Then.

Another.

Step.

Ah.

Aha!

I soar.

I climb.

Weightless.

Breathless.

I breathe.

I inhale life.

I exhale.

Ah.

living,

Cassandra

Note: I finally started the morning walks I have been promising myself for seven years. I sounded like a beached whale. I looked like who gives two hoots. I was walking. I was living.

Walk done, I eyed the evil stairs standing in the way of my apartment and the air-conditioner. Cruelty!

I had two choices:

I could collapse in a heap, at the bottom of the stairs and hope a muscular husband material man man came to swoop me into his deliciously tender arms…

I could take a step at a time and get to some blessed air! Heck with this!!

One step.

One step.

One step.

I love you, Cassandra.

I love you, Cassandra.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t wait around for someone to love you. Love you some you. Love will love you where you are. Remember you are loved and you are not alone.

Recharge your battery.

I have not driven in months. I have not started my car in months. This is not my usual practice because I take care of my car.

This has been a really hard and tiring year. It has been exhausting. All I wanted to do is sleep for about six months.

I’m still tired. However, I am finding that as I get all of this excess out of my life. I’m getting more energy.

I finally took down a sleeping bag that had been covered my living room window for the past seven years. Yikes. I’m finally moving into my apartment after seven years.

I’m throwing out all the unused things and buying new.

My heart is recharging. I’m making a playlist of love songs as I call in my love from the universe. He’s out there. I just don’t know his name. I love you boo wherever you are.

I am recharging on my battery. My heart is wide open. Ready to receive. Ready to need. Ready to be needed.

What a gorgeous day. What a wonderful day God gave me!

Uh, oh! I hear my blue screw driver calling me.

brb,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

My blue screwdriver II: Nobody Does It Better!

YYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS! 🎤

*Cassandra currently waking up half the neighborhood bellowing out ‘Nobody Does It Better’ by Carly Simon. Holding her award winning blue screwdriver, of course *

It has been quite the day.

I did not feel like working.

I went to work.

I did not feel like jumping my car to get the battery going after months of being too lazy to start my car. Smh.

I jumped the battery.

I wanted some Burger King but felt too lazy to drive to BK.

I drove to BK.

I did not feel like starting my walking regime as it was too dark/late/hot.

I walked around my parking lot, looking like a moron, heaving like a beached whale to part of a song, then another.

I did not feel like getting into a much needed shower after playing mechanic.

I showered.

I did not feel like reheating my now cold BK small 🍔 and 🍟.

I reheated my fries, sprinkling with a bit of white cheddar seasoning.

I did not want to make exercise playlist to use for my morning walk.

I made an exercise playlist and chair exercised to Push It by Salt-N-Peppa and Too Legit To Quit by McHammer.

I did not feel like getting tomorrow’s writing prepared.

I yakked with you a spell.

I DO feel like kicking yall all to the curb so I can continue my concert!

YYYAAAAAAAAAAASSS!!💋💃

Life is short, beloveds.

Laugh.

Live.

Love.

Try.

Keep going.

going with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

No more, my friend.

No more, my friend.

NO MORE!

No more:

Shedding tears, alone. Your tears are precious. As, are you. Share them. Share them with those who love and care for your life.

Bearing burdens, alone. Your burdens, YOU, yes you, are important. You ARE! Stop being ashamed of being ‘needy’. We are ALL needy. Nothing to be ashamed of. YOU are not to be ashamed of.

Building, alone. Your dreams are awesome, mighty, huge and worth their weight, in gold. As, are you. Share them. Let the ones who love you, love you. If you find yourself alone, share them with God, with Life, with a supportive online group. Don’t keep hiding, from life, from, love, from living, from YOU.

Walking, alone, no more.

I move forward.

Towards all that has been waiting this whole time.

being me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Your life matters. Love you. Let others in. Folk who won’t, won’t. Plenty will. I do. God does. Life does.