Mission Statement: Have another cup.

So, I began this post, this thought, on Dec. 30th. I was all set to wax eloquent on my yearly mission statement. I am not much for resolutions. I do my utmost to do the best I can ever day. Not just two hard tries on the first couple days of the year. Only, to give up, in a glorious heap of who cares and I will try again next year.

The year had been so challenging, I decided to adopt my statement, early, and continue it through 2022 and beyond. When work, life, or the like was especially working my LAST nerves, I called my big bro. All he would do is laugh and tell me to just have another cup of coffee, have a nice snack or treat. His advice saved me all kinds of worry, anxt and what the hells. I imagine I also saved a bit of HIS last nerves.

I adopted my motto and happily slurped down another cup when life was acting ten kinds of fools. Ah!

I was doing fine, just dandy. Right up until Christmas week rolled up and smacked me upside my head. Drove me straight to my bed, for comfort. Managed to peel away the covers, the missing mom so much it was hard to breathe and get back to breathing, to living. Slurping my extra cup, laughing at the toughness, at the hardness, at life which was, well, being life.

That is, until Dec. 31st came delivering such an AWFUL, hard, unbelievable STILL text:

“Are you busy?”

Three words which diluted my cup with all manner of bitter, hard, disbelief, shock, grief and ALL it’s friends. Yep, those words came, dropped off it’s message/package and left ME to deal with the aftermath.

So, here I sit, on Friday morning, wondering what to DO with this cup. I can’t ignore it. Okay, I can but the only thing that will happen is it will be there. Waiting. And, tomorrow’s cup, will have joined today’s. And, so on and so on. Crap!

Angrily, I swiped up my cup, took a huge swallow and prepared for a whole lot of bitter to engulf the day. Instead, I found, the warmth of an LED light left on for me. I found, a text from a friend just checking to ‘see how I was’. Instead, I found, the comforting words of a wombie I wouldn’t trade for all the world. Instead, I found God and Life sharing the bitter of my cup. They took turns, handing my cup, back and forth, between them. As They drank, They gazed lovingly into my eyes. Silently, we shared my cup.

God: Have another cup, beloved?

Me: Don’t You have others to care for?

God: Of course. I am with them, as I am here, with you. Have another cup with me?

Me: I will.

Life: Shall we have French Vanilla?

Me: Can we?

Life: You can have whatever flavor you desire when you have another cup. No matter what happens, you can ALWAYS enjoy another cup. You can take a breath, take a break. You can, make another choice, revisit a situation. You can, choose to, strive towards, make your way to, another beginning. You can, begin a hundred times if the times call for a hundred.

Her: Okay, really, Cassandra?

Me: I know. You KNOW me. I miss you. I love you. I don’t know how if I will be able to face tomorrow, let alone my cup,, then.

Her: Turn on a light. Just one. Do it, for me. Do it, for those left behind.

Me: I will try. I make no apologies if I fall. Tell the two moms I have need of them.

Her: They are already with you.

Today, I had planned to hide, beneath a mountain of covers and tears. Instead, I found a light on, a text, a quiet word, a hope, to keep going. Someone, somewhere needs to know that things WILL be alright.

Even, through the hard. Even, through the sad. Even, through the lonely. Seems like 2022 has already acted a fool for many. I am learning, though, with each hard thing, to have another cup. I am learning, though, to leave the storm OUTSIDE, where it belongs. I no longer allow the storm to upset my INSIDE. My inside is settled, stablished, hopeful, joyful, steadfast. Just have to dig through this current hard, this current sad, this current grief to get to the joy.

Hmm…..*Cassandra looks down and notice she is wearing her big girl granny panties*….*smile*.

Time we all understand life just doesn’t seem to play fair. Seems to have it’s favorites and appears, at times, we are not one of them, eh?

To every heavy heart, I say, be encouraged. To every discouraged soul, I say, hang in there. To every person in need, I say, keep asking for what you need. In the meantime, be what someone else needs. Be, a friend. Be, a shoulder. Be, a buffer. Be, a comedienne. Be, a drill sergeant. Be, a way maker. Be, a truth teller. Be, a brother. Be, a sister.

being with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

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• COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️‍🩹
• BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
• Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
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