Why won’t you move!?

Fresh hell.

*Cassandra picks up a rock and throws it at the damned mountain that just won’t move out of her way!*

I’m in a quandary, beloveds. Every since God challenged me to tell The Universe, what I wanted, I have been unable to silence the deep travailing, in my soul, to be about being about His Business. ‘

Folk, are hurting. The world has trampled, over their tender heart, in such an all fire hurry to get to and trample over, other folk heart. The world is, relentless, in chewing folk, up. Then, spitting folk, out.

Folk, are disillusioned. Rightly so, in many cases. They want to know what the world is going on, with this world? Right ain’t right. Wrong, no longer considered wrong. Folk are simply making it do whatever the hell they want to do.

Folk, are angry. With Him for not being there, not letting them know He was there, for allowing this, that and the other thing. For, NOT allowing this, that, and the other thing.

Folk, are lonely. The world is so blasted LOUD, stomping all over and around them to where they feel small and isolated and alone.

Folk, are wondering, where they are.

Folk, are wondering, WHY they are.

Folk, are wondering, what REALLY matters.

Fresh hockey sticks, folks, the world over, are wondering, what in the world TRULY/REALLY matters?

I was one of those folks, yall. Heckamiah Jeremiah, at times, I am STILL one of those folks.

I have been arguing, er, talking to God, ALL the time, about WHY, the world, isn’t He more clear, to the world, about who He is, what the world He wants, from us. Why, the world, He does not show Himself, more, TO the world, so the world, could/can stop wondering, what the world, and going off of what all the others, in the world, are all saying.

What the world!?

Anywho, beloveds, I was in tears, this morning. Because of you. Each of you. Every follower, very liker, every silent reader, every person who has never read a word.

Why, because folk, are hurting. Beacuse, folk are angry…

I almost yelled, at God. I did, scream within my spirit. I told my spirit to hush, before God could hear my frustrated cry.

I called my wombie, in near tears, and admitted, outloud, FINALLY, what I have been wrestling with my entire working life:

“My heart/passion wants to spend the rest of my days, letting folk know they are loved and not alone. That does not pay the bills. My job, which pays the bills, is taking too much time away from my heart/passion. I can no longer abide, having to choose, between them both. Yet, I can not continue to do both.”

Yall, I wanted to just quit, this morning, my job, and keep doing my REAL job, of encouraging you, the world, and all that is with it.

Yep, it is you fault, beloveds. Your heart(s) are just too darned loud. Your need(s), are just too darned important. YOU are just too darned important, to keep leaving you behind, each day, as I do my work job.

I felt better, after having vented, somwhat, to my wombie.

I find myself, still, peering up, at this same mountain:

My passion, can not sustain my bills. My heart, can no longer, sustain, not being able to fully be about being about, my passion.

There are times, beloveds, where I almost, sorta, kinda, wish I didn’t care, so much. I almost, resent, my loud being so bloody loud!

“Why must you be sooooooooooooo LOUD?!”, I ask my own heart.

“Don’t you know folk get tired/annoyed of your being soooooooooooooo LOUD, ALL THE DAMNED TIME?!”

I have lost many a friendship, beloveds, being me. Yet, I can NOT be me. I have to, beloveds. I have to.

Still, I, me, Cassandra, am human, still. I desire to have, close friends. I find, most have not been able to take all of me, all at once, ALL the time.

Each time that God, that Life, that The Universe, asks me to be loud, I choose you, beloveds. Always. I always, will. If this costs me, close friends. Well, I would rather you know you are loved and not alone. So, you can have close friends.

If being loud, costs me being up, half the night, praying for you and yakking to God and Life and The Universe about you and asking for Them to give you all that you shall ever need. Well, I choose to be loud, for YOU.

Why, because I have ulterior motives, when it comes to you, beloveds. I desire that your heart be made whole. I desire, your spirit is loosed from EVERY weight and bondage that has ever held it.

I desire, your heart be set free to:

To soar, as the eagle.

To run, as the deer.

To come forth, as the butterfly.

The more, I get free, of all that has so easily beset me, the more, I want to run back and grab as many folk as I can reach.

I don’t want to be soaring, by myself.

I don’t want to be the only one, sitting in The Father’s Lap.

I don’t want to be the only one, hanging out with Jesus.

And, no, beloveds, I have NO desire to cajole you, convince you, guilt you, manipulate you, into believing what I do. I am not even trying to get you to believe.

My heart ♥ desire, my ask, my hope, my prayer, my shout to The universe, my prayer to God, my request from Life, my hope for/from Him, is for you to SEE/KNOW/EXPERIENCE: