Month: April 2024

Run: You CAN.

“You are not being 💯.”

That’s what a friend told me once.

I hadn’t been. Not with her. Not with God. Not with life. Not with me.

Especially with me. I ran myself ragged. I worked myself half to death. I put my needs to the back. I burned the candle at both ends AND in the middle.

Why?

In part, because I was raised to do so. Without questioning. In part, because I was paying rent to a world who I thought didn’t need just me.

God never asked me to do this. Life never asked me to do this. The Universe was forever trying to stop me from doing this.

It took a TRUE friend to love me enough to say:

“You are not being 💯”.

Are you being 💯, beloveds?

💯 with:

You?

God?

Life?

The Universe?

Family?

Friends?

Take stock/inventory:

Health – body, mind, soul, spirit.

Home.

Job.

You have to know where you are, so you can find out, where you are.

Be brutal.

Be ruthless.

Snatch away EVERY excuse.

Stand before yourself.

Naked, but NOT ashamed.

This is NOT a time to berate you. You are simply being, a clinician. An investigator, who is looking for clues, at the scene. A restorator. A repairer, of the breach.

Once you have done this, it’s time to run.

Not! 🛑

It’s time to rest.

Catch a breath.

Breathe.

Deep.

Be patient.

With you.

Then, run!

Your future awaits.

running with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Heart ♥ check Friday: I’m okay.

How’s your heart ♥, beloveds?

It’s Friday.

Rest Day.

Time to take some time.

For you.

Repeat after me:

I’m okay.

Then, rest.

Rinse.

Repeat.

What of tomorrow?

How should I know? I’m living my now.

I suggest you do the same.

resting with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: In case no one told you: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Real talk: Get what you need so you can get what you need.

You can’t afford NOT to get what you need.

Take, stock.

Take, inventory.

Take, time.

Inside.

Outside.

What do you NEED to succeed?

What changes can you make, right now, to move closer to your goals/dreams.

Get up, earlier.

Go to bed, earlier.

Start, earlier.

Don’t wait to ‘Feel like it’. Oftentimes, you won’t FEEL like making it do what it do. The bed seems like such a wondrous oasis of ‘I’ll get to it in a few minutes’.

Don’t worry yourself about how much you have or have not done. Just DO something. The mere fact of ACTION will help your act right get and keep some act right.

It takes time. The first time, I tried to get up early, I wanted to cry, toss the alarm over the rail and whined and complained, er, talked gently to God, Life and The Universe, about WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!!

Soon, I found myself waking BEFORE the alarm. Now, I have so much accomplished before 8 am. I work after 10 so have plenty of time to take a quick nap.

This is how I USED to respond:

Day: It’s time to get up, Cassandra. Let’s be about being about it.

Me: YOU can be about your day. Me and night still have some sleeping, er, talking to do.

Dreams: Time to get up, Cassandra, so we can bring me into the real world.

Me: I’m waiting on God, Life, and The Universe to show me HOW.

God: Try.

Me: I don’t know HOW.

Now, I get up.

Now, I try.

Now, I hope.

Now, I dream.

Now, I dare.

Now, I do.

Now, I…

Ah.

Aha!

Now, I get what I need so I can get what I need…lol.

It’s important to keep asking for what we need.

It’s imperative to keep giving ourselves what we need.

It’s crucial to RECEIVE what we need. From whom? Ah! Great question! Keep asking.

getting what I need,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. You CAN. You WILL.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I think I’m okay. Now.

I think I’m okay.

Now.

Maybe I should say, I think I am okay, now.

There’s a world of difference in the two.

ONLY those who have been, or are going through,  their own version of what in the fresh hell is THIS will know of which I speaketh.

Yikes!

Whew!

What the what the?!!

Hard has been especially hard. And, I mean hhhaaarrrrrrdddddd!🤯😳😳😵‍💫🥵

Shout out to my wombie who has had the unfortunate task of dragging me all up on The Father’s Lap.

Circumstances, or lack thereof, tipped me over reliving when my job was displaced and I only had 60 days to move etc. I didn’t realize it until wombie reminded me I has gone through much worse things then right now.

On top of financial Armageddon and some health what the world, life tossed a hand grenade on a relationship more dear to me than I can describe. I am still tore up about it. Still! Crap!…*stamps foot*

I haven’t been able to work. Which is creating its own brand of financial Armageddon. One in which I am blaming myself now.

I tell myself I should be over grieving now.

I tell myself I should be able to suck it up and work now.

I tell myself I should be able to sleep now.

I tell myself I should be able to be about being about it now.

I tell myself I should be able to 🧗‍♀️ climb this extreme hard now.

Yet, none of those things were true.

I found old foes shame and embarrassment rearing old heads and moving in. They brought terror and lamentation with them.

I was too afraid to tell them to go. I was too embarrassed to climb on The Father’s Lap. I was too ashamed I would see disappointment in His Eyes. There was too much disappointment, in mine, to take the chance.

Shame thought this was extremely funny. Shame told me I should be ashamed of myself because of my fear.

“Weakling!”

“Idiot!”

“God is a li…”

*Cassandra stood over shame, 🤜 all up in shame face, and laughed*

Ha! Don’t you EVER!

It’s okay to doubt ME, I told shame. But, don’t you EVER speak on My Father’s Honor or His Love for ME!

I think I’m okay.

Now.

At least, I have been able to get out of bed.

At least, I can maybe do the day.

Maybe.

At least, I shall try.

Ah.

Aha!

Perhaps it’s all He has been waiting for.

trying today I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I just wanted to shout out to all who are living a life of quiet despair, er, desperation at the moment. This time WILL pass. Until it does, be as good to yourself as you can. Don’t add kicking your own arse to the storm.

Rest as best you can.

Share your heart, your hurt with someone. And, you can’t say you don’t have anyone if you can see these words.

We SHALL get through this. The super hard time I went through, back THEN…well, it’s helping me through my NOW.

THIS time, beloveds, is only building our faith muscles to help us with future what in the fresh hell is THIS. 🥰💯🤣

Yea, I think I’m okay. Now. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Ah, God. Why You keep bothering me?

Ah, God.

Ow!

Why You keep bothering me?

Why do You keep tempting me to go on up higher?

You know I can’t reach that high!

I’m scared of heights, God.

I’m afraid I will fall and hurt myself.

Ah, God.

Stop tugging on my heart.

Let her sleep.

Ah, God.

Why do You chase me even in my dreams?!

You must be mistaken.

This me does not know how.

This me has known so much disappointment.

Ah, God. Why You keep bothering me?

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Ah, God. I don’t know how. Oh, God. Life hurts. Ow, God. My dreams keep hiding their face from me. What do I do with me now?

Hang in there, beloveds. At your lowest moment, KNOW you are NOT alone. Things WILL get better.

Climb on The Father’s Lap. Yell at Him, if need be. Cry if you want. Be quiet if you want. Just get on up there and tell Him life is picking on you.

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. You have tried. Let your try be enough. The outcome is not for us to do. Just be.

I have let bills scare the hell out of me this past week. Think I will tell fear to shut up. Who is with me?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

My why said hey.

Why: Hey.

Me: What do you want now?

Why: We got thangs to do!

Me: Why now? Why me? Why in fresh hell won’t you leave me be?!

Why: My! Feisty are we?

Me: What do you want now? You have messed up a perfectly delicious and boring day. What do you want?

Why: I need you to keep being you.

Me: Why though? Why ME?! Can’t you see that I am old/broke/black/female/loud and fifty million other things the world apparently neither sees, nor needs?

Why: What do they know? Let’s go! We got thangs to do!

Me: Geeeeeeezzz!

Why: 🥰🤣

apparently doing thangs with my why,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 🤣. Beloveds, I write theeeeeeee most ridiculous things. In my opinion. I don’t know anyone else ridiculous enough to get into an argument with their why. Let alone be goofy enough to share such foolishness with the world.🥰😅🤣

Keep being you, beloveds. Ridiculous and all. Don’t worry about being judged. You shall be. So what? There are oodles of folk waiting for your particular brand of stupid and foolishness.  Keep sharing the whole of you. So shall I. I love me some you. As does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

No way, beloveds.

No way, beloveds!

No way in hell shall we:

Give up.

Quit.

Walk away.

Heck no!

Keep going. I don’t care how long the fight has been.

So what?!

Get up!

We got thangs to do.

Stop giving up on yourself when the fire is especially hot and the way is terribly lonely.

So what?!

Get up!

We got thangs to do!!!

doing thangs with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The LAST thing I wanted to do today, beloveds, was to encourage me. Let alone you. What did I do?

I got up.

I encouraged me.

I encourage you.

Get up!!!!!!!

We got thangs to do!!!!!!!!!!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

You are worth the time.

I am still not feeling the best.

Not quite.

I started to work.

Lasted all of 15 minutes. I reached out to one of my bosses and let her know I still was not feeling my best. She offered me the time to get better.

In times past, I would have chosen bills, others, this, that and the other thing.

Now, I am doing my utmost to be good to me.

I chose me.

My bills said what in the fresh hell.

My bod said thanks.

Take some time for YOU, beloveds. It’s not okay to run yourself ragged for bills, for others, for this, for that and the other thing.

When you are empty, get refilled.

When you are tired, get refreshed.

When you are in need of care, give it to yourself.

Be encouraged.

Someone leave out some snacks and clean up on the way out. Be sure and love someone. Starting with you. Someone post a fantastic note for the rest of us. I honestly don’t have the energy for it today.

choosing me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, just a tiny note. How’s YOUR heart, today? Please take care of it. It’s priceless. So, are you. So, am I. Which is why I chose me and fixing to head for a nap. I have spent the better part of a month allowing bills to scare the bejeez out of me instead of casting my cares upon Him. God don’t need sleep. Hurry, Father, we are in need. Help those who need a bit of love and care. Bless those who could use some comfort/joy/peace. Be with all who are lonely. Keep feeding those who hunger. Amen. P.S. Tell Jesus I am waiting on Him to kick it with me for the rest of the the day. Asking for a friend…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Alone, I sit with thee.

Me: Come here. Sit with me.

Alone: I am alone.

Me: So am I. Come sit with me.

Alone: NO one wants to sit with me!

Me: I know. They are afraid of you.

Alone: Whatever for?!

Me: They are really afraid of what others will think of you sitting with them.

Alone: Why?

Me: I don’t know. Okay, I know. I just don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Alone: Tell me…

Me: Well, I used to be terrified of you. Afraid of what you would see in me. Afraid of what you would tell me.

Alone: I just wanted, I just want to be. With you.

Me: I see. Come. Sit with me.

Alone: What shall we do together?

Me: I have no idea. I just want to experience you. Without noise. Without distraction.

Alone: Why?

Me: Well why not?

Alone: No one has ever asked to sit with me. I have much I have wanted to share.

Me: Sit here, then. Share yourself with me.

Alone: K.

*Alone stretched out her hand. Taking her hand, Cassandra found herself surrounded by Love, God, Life, Jesus and The Universe.

Me: Ah.

Alone: Aha!

satisfied,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Get to know Alone. You’ll be glad you did. You’ll know what I mean when you have found the courage to sit down your loud and invite Alone to sit with you a while.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Just build the platform for your dream.

God is teaching me to just build the platform for my dream.

I don’t have to worry about the foundation.

God is The Foundation.

Life is The Foundation.

The Universe is The Foundation.

What is 🏢 built upon the platform is up to me. I can build a skyscraper. I can build a shack. I can build a shed. I can put up a tent. I can put a sleeping bag on the platform.

What goes on the platform is not the point. We just need to build OUR platform.

Make it a big one.

Make a tiny one.

Build it from whatever materials suits YOUR fancy.

Decorate it or not.

Just build the platform for your dream.

Don’t worry, beloveds, about who or what God shall send to you and your platform.

Don’t fret, beloveds, that only a few, as far as you could tell, has come to visit.

The visitors meant may not show up in your lifetime.

Build your platform to profit mankind. 

Don’t build for financial profits sake. Finances will come as you build useful things folk want to purchase.

Find your purchase(foundation) on building your purchase(platform).

The more I ask God for finances, the more dumb and ridiculous ideas and things He gives me to say and do.😁🤷‍♀️

building my dumb, er, platform,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:🤷‍♀️🍑🤦‍♀️🌎👋♥️🥰😁

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!