Monday, October 12, 2026 — 6:00 PM
When You Miss Who You Used to Be
Beloveds,
This week isn’t about me.
Something I wrote recently got me thinking about how easy it is to miss who we used to be when life changes on us.
But I don’t want to spend this week telling you my story.
I want to make room for yours.
So this week is for you.
Maybe there’s a version of you that you miss.
The you who laughed easier.
The you who had more energy.
The you who wasn’t carrying quite so much.
The you who could pick up and go without thinking twice.
The you before that relationship ended.
Before that job disappeared.
Before the children grew up.
Before you became the caregiver.
Before the move.
Before the grief.
Before money got tight.
Before life changed in whatever way life changed.
Or maybe there wasn’t one big before at all.
Maybe one day you looked around and realized you had changed so gradually that you couldn’t remember exactly when it happened.
And every once in a while you think,
I miss who I used to be.
Can I tell you something?
You are allowed to.
Missing who you used to be does not mean you don’t appreciate who you are now.
It doesn’t mean you’re living in the past.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
Sometimes it simply means there were parts of your life—and parts of yourself—that you loved.
Of course you miss them.
You don’t have to talk yourself out of that.
But, beloveds, don’t spend so much time looking for the old you that you overlook the person sitting right here.
You.
This you.
The one who has lived some things.
Learned some things.
Lost some things.
Survived some things.
Changed your mind about some things.
Started over in some things.
And maybe you’re still trying to figure out some things.
You don’t have to become who you used to be to be somebody worth knowing now.
Read that again.
You don’t have to become who you used to be to be somebody worth knowing now.
Maybe you miss the old you.
Okay.
Pull out a chair for that version of yourself.
Remember.
Smile if there’s something worth smiling about.
Sigh if that’s what comes.
Keep the good memories.
Tell the truth about the hard ones.
But pull out another chair too.
For the person you are becoming.
You may not know that person very well yet.
That’s okay.
This week, maybe we can get acquainted.
I’m not going to spend these evenings telling you who you should become.
I’m just pulling out the chairs.
You bring your story.
We’ll talk.
🪑
loving me some you
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
