Linger.

It’s the middle of the night.

I am tired.

Exhausted.

I have exhausted every moment from every second of the day.

Everything within me entreats me to squeeze the life out of every single moment.

I linger over every conversation with family. I live for them.

I linger over text messages with my one friend. I look forward to them.

I linger over ever song. I am ministered by them.

I linger over every laugh while working. Working is about giving all of me to all of them.

I linger over cooking. I relive cooking time with mom and linger over each meal.

I linger over phone coffee chats with sis and zombie and big bro. I rejoice over every second spent in tears and laughter with them.

I linger over every piece written in love. I love loving on folks, with clever, ridiculous, wonderful words.

I linger.

Night reminds me that day shall be here soon.

Wait.

Wait!

WAIT!

There is STILL some life left in this almost gone day.

I must sleep.

Fresh hell.

Day, I shall be with you shortly.

I lingered, all night.

I shall linger, to the length of your day.

see you soon,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Oh, that the world only knew how precious these seconds are! Hurry! Use them ALL….

I know.

I knew.

Just before mom passed, I knew.

My spirit knew she would be gone, soon.

My heart, did not wish to accept her leaving.

Ah, mom.

It was her time.

She knew.

She knew I was ready.

To make it on my own.

Without her.

Being cheered from on high, by her.

Her heart knew.

As did mine.

Just as I knew then, I know now.

Something.

Something is ending.

Something is beginning.

What?

I know not.

Mom does but she’s not telling.

She says I shall find out.

Soon.

I know.

How?

I just…

Know.

knowing,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is changing. Beneath my feet. Before my eyes. As is yours. Hold tight, beloveds. Life shall get very interesting from here…

Cherish you.

Cherish you.

Cherish.

YOU!

Don’t wait for another.

Cherish you.

Cherish ALL of you.

All of it.

Quit hiding your scars.

Stop berating your mishaps.

Perhaps, those mishaps have happened to make you…YOU.

Cherish you.

Dismiss those who dismiss you.

Cherish not those who will not cherish you.

Cherish YOU.

Cherish not those things which adorn you, surround you, hold you. Hold loosely to things as things are simply things.

Simple?

Simple!

Cherish.

You.

cherishing me,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe

Keep pressing through.

When life is pressing down on you…

Keep pressing through.

When depression wants to keep foolin with you…

Keep pressing through.

When there seems to be no way and your heart wants to say no way…

Keep pressing through.

When you have absolutely NO idea what to do…

Keep pressing through.

When the pressing is soooooooooo pressing and weighing on you…

Keep pressing through.

When all you have won’t do all you need.

Keep pressing through.

When all seems lost/hopeless and you are ready to throw in the towel…

Keep pressing through.

When God/Life have answered everyone’s prayers but you/yours….

Keep pressing through.

When pressing through is the LAAAAASSSSSST thing your heart wants to do…

Keep pressing through.

The hard IS hard. It is. No getting around it. Yet…

Keep pressing through.

pressing with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I’ll be honest. Day tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was ready to get after it. I soooooooooooooooooo wanted to tell the day to go ahead and kick some rocks. Instead, I drug my weary self, up out my super scorching hot bed and got about my day. I tossed sad, frustrated and hopeless into the shower. Joy and laughter replaced them.

Yes, life is being unbelievably life, today. My second Kuerig has decided to taunt me with no water coming out. I am just toooooooooo hot and bothered to want to bother with trying to do the YouTube fix. So, I am here, bothering you…lol.

Life is short. Keep pressing through. You are being pressed into some outstanding wine. So stop whining….hehe. Remember:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Fear not.

The unknown can seem scary.

Not knowing, what will be, can be sooooooooooooooooooo terrifying.

Especially, as we get older.

Especially, being an older woman.

Especially, being an older woman.

*shiver*

LOL.

I can not tell you how many arguments the old me gets into arguments with the new me about not being afraid of growing older.

The new, younger feeling version of me, wants to get into all manner of foolishness.

The old, old lady feeling version of me, wants nothing more than to hide beneath a mountain of Lucky Charms and my body pillow.

Life is short, I fear, which is why I no longer fear. Rather, I no longer allow fear to dictate how I will live my life.

Ha!

Tell fear to kick rocks.

Short of that, if fear refuses to go, drag that joker into the shower with you and leave it there!

What’s the worst that will happen?

Whatever happens, beloveds, you will have grown. You will have laughed. You will have loved. Sounds like a win to me, don’tchathink?

Dive in.

Let life do what it do.

Then, you do what you do.

The rest will come out, in the wash.

I am doing my utmost to not worry about the outcome of my try. It’s not easy. I keep checking my the bank account, holding my dream(s), and the funds are still in the red. I still, smh, fret, just a tad, that life is passing me by. I am doing my best, tho, to snatch as much of it as I can. Here. Now.

All we have is all we have. Best get to using what we have, eh?

Fear?

Not!

Be encouraged.

Alway remember:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You tell me.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on you.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on your dream(s).

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on your family.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on your kid.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on your career path/choice.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on God.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on Life.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on the person you are working to be.

Not just yet, beloved.

Don’t give up, on the person you are now.

Not just yet, beloved.

This is NOT the end.

This is NOT your end.

It IS the end of many things for you.

It IS the end of your:

Throwing in the towel.

Walking away.

Giving in.

This is your new start.

Why?

Because EVERY day is one where you can begin.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Do NOT, beloved, dismiss your try.

You are doing all that you know. Let this be enough.

You ARE enough.

You are so much more than what you currently have or don’t have. STOP blaming yourself and beating yourself up for actions and events that are long past. Your past is just that. Your past. Move past it. Go on now, beloved. Let those things go. You really have done all that you know.

I speak as much to me, as I do to you, beloved. Yes, we have done many a stupid thing. We were dummies, weren’t we? Let us laugh at our dumbness, forgive ourselves, and keep it moving. Shall we?

Okay, let’s go!

We have too much life left to live.

Live.

Love.

Laugh.

When is it okay to give up?

Not just yet, beloved.

still here as are you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Forgiveness can be tough. Forgiving others for terribly wounding us, can be hard. Forgiving ourselves, for terribly wounding us, can seem near to impossible. It takes time. Just a step, beloved. One. You got this. Go now, precious….

Keep loving them.

I was just asking God what I can do.

Just feeling a bit helpless.

So many things going on.

I didn’t know what to do.

I asked God, ‘What can I do?’

I heard in my heart ‘Keep loving them.’

So still.

So quiet.

I will.

I love you.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Love as best you can. Love as many as you can. Love as much as you can. Give all your love away. You can never out love Love! Love you, still….

You are more than a number.

My job, in part, involves numbers.

Research.

More numbers.

More research.

My job, in part, involves time.

Too little time.

Too much work.

I spend a good part of the day, most days, cramming as many numbers, into as much time, as I can.

Some days, I do great. Which makes me feel great.

Some days, I do not so hot. Which, if I let it, make me want to feel not so hot.

I guess it comes from being judged, growing up, on my intelligence. Being smart was a badge of honor for my dad. Report card time was a time for drama and flair to see who got straight As…*sigh*.

We played ‘around the world’ at school. I was good at it. You squared off with a classmate as the teacher held up flash cards to see who got the right answer the fastest. I was fast.

Going into the work world, as a person of color, I had to be better than everyone else to have a ‘chance’. Being a black woman, I had to be better than the best of the better, to have the chance at even getting the chance to even get a chance. Rarely, I was given the chance. I trained many who were given the chance(s) over me.

When I gave my heart/life to God, I wasn’t viewed very highly, by some. I wore pants. I asked questions. I was not pretty like the other pretty church girls. I was loud. I praised loud. I danced awkward. I sang loudly. Not well.

It seemed as though my efforts did not add up to a heck of a lot, for this world.

There are days when it seems as though my efforts don’t add up to a heck of a lot, for this world.

On days like those, like this one, I question if my little, will EVER be enough for God and Life to distribute. For me to distribute. I asked myself, earlier, why even try?

Why not, I shot back.

??

I have been asking these questions for 54 years and counting.

Counting.

There goes those numbers again!

It’s important, to remember we are so very much more than the numbers we total or subtract.

The only number that truly matters is the number of times that God/Life gives up on us:

0.

None.

Nada.

Never.

The rest, and the rest, shall come out in the wash.

Be encouraged.

If no one has told you yet today:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

being me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I keep asking myself why the world I keep writing. Cuz, someone needs to know they are not alone. Be encouraged.

All.

Give your all.

Life is short.

Your all is ALL you need to give.

Try.

Just try.

Who knows what your try will lead to, eh?

All you have to do is choose to give your all and see what happens.

I choose to try.

I give.

All.

Today.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Give your all. You won’t need it after the day is done.

Why is everyone so mad?

Why is everyone so mad?

Folks mad about everything.

Folks mad at everybody.

Folks mad at themselves.

Why yall mad, bro?

Life is short.

Why you joining other mad folks to be mad about everything which is driving the whole damn world mad?

Why is everybody hatin?

Why yall hatin’ on your brother, on your sister?

Life is short.

Why yall joining other hatin’ folk, who hate themselves, and have turned their hate on the whole hatin’ world?

Why can’t we all be mad ABOUT each other?

Madly in love.

With.

Each other?

I ain’t mad atcha, my bro, my sis.

I love you.

Love me back.

loving you alway,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Love one another, beloveds. Begin with you.