Category: hope

When was the last time you told you ‘I love you’?

I have a question:

When was the last time you told you ‘I love you.?

This may sound like a ridiculous question. It’s not. It’s important to love yourself. It’s important to tell yourself you are loved. Out loud. The heart needs to hear the words ‘I love you’ EVERY day.

Don’t let on day go by without telling yourself you love you. Then, don’t allow one day to go by without telling someone they are loved. Yours may be the only time they hear the words.

This world is in desperate need of love.

Help me love on folk.

Life is short. Believe me, the tornado was a really huge reminder of that. Yikes! and Egads!!


grateful to be here still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Ah, God. Thank You for all Your Wunnerfulness….hugs self.Life is good. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. Keep on keeping on. We got thangs to do…


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I see you.

I see you.

White folk.

I see you.

Black folk.

I see you.

Gay folk.

I see you.

Straight folk.

I see you.

Young folk.

I see you.

Old folk.

I see you.

Rich folk.

I see you.

Poor folk.

I see you.

Liberal folk.

I see you.

Conservative folk.

I see you.

Blue collar folk.

I see you.

Wallstreet folk.

I see you.

Why can’t we see one another, beloveds, without forever having to beat one another?

Why can’t we love one another?

Why can’t we compete with, not defeat one another?

Why can’t we hold one another?

Why can’t we champion one another?

Why can’t we support one another?

Why can’t we uplift one another?

Why can’t we sing with each other?

Why can’t we dance with each other?

Why can’t we build with one another?

I think we can.

I think I will.

I am your sister.

I love you.

I am here.

standing in the gap for us all,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Who shall stand in the gap with me? Asking for a friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Real talk: Look beyond.

Look beyond.

The hurt.

Look beyond.

The hard.

Look beyond.

The loss.

It’s time to look ahead.

It’s time to look up.

It’s time to REALLY look.

Look at all there is before you.

The fight is not yet over, beloveds. Don’t give up on you. Not just yet.

The best is yet to come. I am doing my level best to look beyond, to look past all of this debris and destruction.

I am doing my best to envision a future with new landscapes, new opportunities, new outlooks, new friends, new sources of income.

Be encouraged. God ain’t done with us yet. Ah, God, hurry. Some of us are super weary. Asking for all my friends.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: ❤️‍🩹♥️🥊

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Look beyond.

Look beyond.

Your fear.

Look beyond.

Their fear.

Look beyond.

Your pain.

Look beyond.

Their pain.

Look beyond.

Your anger/hurt.

Look beyond.

Their anger/hurt.

Life is short, beloveds.

Keep looking beyond so you can keep moving forward/towards.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t allow division/darkness to win. All we need to do is to keep being a light. Keep moving forward…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep going, beloveds.

Just keep going.

No matter how hard.

I keep telling myself this, as well, as obstacle after obstacle keeps getting in my way.

My FAVORITE table I use for writing on, not working. The internet not fast enough to do anything on until the internet comes back on(Using my Hotspot).
I keep talking to God. I keep telling myself the truth. I let myself FEEL.

Ah, beloveds, it seems as I do NOT want to have to go through this healing process. Not on top of everything else going on.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUTTTTTTT!!!

Nothing wants to work.

ACK!!

Keep going.

Push through.

Hang on.

GEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Whew!

This too shall pass. Sure wish the passing on would just get to passing…lol.

Sure wish I KNEW what inspiring words to share, today. Today, my heart is spilling every which way. I don’t know what this girl is hollering about or for. SMH.
I told myself I would write my way out of this. Here goes nothing…

writing my way out,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Heart check whatever the heck day it is.

Okay, beloveds.

I am here for a heart check. It has been a bit, since the last one I did on you. In fact, I can’t remember the last check. All I can think on is the tornado.

I told myself I would NOT be filling up my blog pages with thoughts and words about the tornado. Yea, beloveds, I told myself I would just ‘move on’ from it. I did NOT want to drag folk down. I did NOT want to drag myself down.

My heart, it appears, has different idea. She REFUSES to allow me to hide. From her. From me. From God. From you. Nope, my heart say the world is in the awful shape it is in because folk are forever hiding what is truly in their hearts.

Too many, are walking around bleeding. Too many, are empty. Too many, are afraid. Afraid to reach out.

So, beloveds, I am being obedient, to my heart and sharing all that is within it. Will it, wil I matter? To you? Doesn’t matter. Not really. Folk need to be loved. Folk need to be heard. Folk need to be held.

I sooooooooooooooooooooooooo wish I could be held, just now. Just a touch of humanity. Somewhere. Some kind of way.

So, I am being a bit of humanity, for those who will allow me to be:

How are YOU?

How is YOUR heart?

Are YOU okay?

If not, wassammattawhicha?

How can I help?

I have been praying for you, if that helps.

Be encouraged. Your end is NOT your end. It’s not. Just another chapter ending. A new one, yet to begin. Don’t be afraid of your future. It shall be glorious. In the meantime, enjoy your now. Right now.

Be good to you. There is only one of ya!

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said. You shall be okay. K? I can scream. The GoFundMe I did last year expired. I have not been able to get in the old account to create a new one. I feel like an idiot. Geeez, God. I am doing my utmost NOT to panic. Week one of no pay. I pray the internet gets repaird soon.

To be honest, beloveds, I don’t know how to restart work. I will have to. I need time to rest and recover. Rest is hard to come by. Yet, I STILL am thankful. I am grateful. I try not to think on those moments where I thought ‘Yep, mom, I will see you in a few minutes’. Geeez, God, that scared the bejeez out of me.

$Jaybirdforever is my Cash App for any hedge funders in here…lol. That made me laugh out loud.

Today is not funny. Am tired of listening to chain saws. Tired of not having the internet. I can’t even sign up for the free counseling work offers until I can get online and finish signing up. This Hotspot, for whatever reason, is not giving enough juice to bring up anything. It took forever for the blog to come up. I am doing as many pieces as I can just in case the power goes out for another extended period. Yall shall be bored for the next ten days, at least.

I am trying my best to try not to try so damned hard. I am tired. I honestly wish I had someone here who could take the keyboard from my hands and tell me to lay down. I read somewhere that black folk can’t afford to have mental issues. We have too much work to do. We don’t have the time to stop and grieve and heal. I suspect this is the case for many, if not most, of folk.

How is your heart, beloveds? Asking for A Friend. My heart is terribly tired today. Grateful to be alive but awfully tired….

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone.

Me: I’m afraid.

Friend: Pick up the phone. Call and find out what you need to know about your job.

Me: I’m afraid.

Friend: You NEED to call.

Me: I’m afraid.

Friend: Pick up the phone.

Me: K.

I KNEW, beloveds, that I NEEDED to know what was happening. So I could:

Move forward.

Move on.

Have a nice long cry and chocolate, depending on the outcome of said call.

I told myself I absolutely REFUSE to allow myself to live in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. Told fear to get the heckamiah jeremiah away from me!!!!!

Taking a breath, I called my boss. He gave me the news I would not be paid beyond today. I cried. I at least found out I would still have my job once the internet reared it’s non-working head.

Then, I started to put on my big girl panties and get about being about it.

Then, my heart was terribly sad. Just sssssssaaaaaaaaaaaad, beloveds, with all the loss. So much loss.

DAMMIT!!

I decided to call my big sis and asked her if I could ‘just be human for a few minutes’. She let me. I was human. I was sad. For a bit. She made me laugh. A lot.

After a good sad/laugh/talk, I put on my big girl pants, made a cup of coffee and got on with whatever in the fresh hell my life is, at the moment.

I am smack dab in the middle of who in the world knows what. I am learning to care less and less about where I am. I am more focused on where I am, if that makes sense….lol.

Meaning, I KNOW I am with Him.

Enough for me.

Mike drop.

The rest WILL come out in the wash.

Until then, I am going to write, write, read, read, drink coffee, clean maybe, hope always, love folk, love folk some more.

Rinse.

Repeat.

All else is folly, in my humbly boring opinion.

I am hoping someone or someones will be able to find some use, in these words, so they don’t have to go through a horrible tornado, sickness, and all kinds of what the hell is this in order to get some nuggets to grow from and go towards.

In the meantime, beloveds, we had best be get to living in the meantime. Eh?

If you have not worked on your dream today, um, get the hooey out of here and get to working on it!!

Life is so worth living. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

gratefully loved,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Stop letting fear/doubt run your life. Tell them to kick rocks. You CAN. You WILL. You can do this. You can. So can I. And, when you are feeling super doubtful, give yourself an A and keep it moving….

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Be encouraged. You SHALL make it through the aftermath.

Be encouraged. You SHALL make it through the aftermath. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8IFSm5OUHR/?igsh=YTNoNGJ5NHV6b3J2

Be encouraged.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Emptied: It’s okay to cry.

I cried.

Why?

I finally got the courage to face the refrigerator. I ended up throwing out TWO full bags of spoiled expensive meat, cheese, veggies etc. It takes time to build up meat in the freezer.

I had taken time, and money, to build up my reserves.

Lugging all that food out…smh…*sigh*.

I did NOT intend to cry.

I did not mean to cry.

Just sat, defeated, on my stoop, looking at the wreckage formerly known as my yard, and burst into tears.

It looks and feel like I am living in the middle of an abandoned construction/tree farm!…*sniff*

Trying to make lemonade from these lemons, I made a deliver order.

The delivery order came.

The driver left.

The driver left without delivering 90 percent of my order!

I called the store.

The store apologized. Said she would gather my missing items and have another driver deliver them tonight. She said she would call me ‘in thirty minutes’.

An hour and a half later, I called the store back.

The store had NO idea what I was talking about.

Store said they could redeliver at SEVEN O’CLOCK TOMORROW MORNING!!!!!!!!!

What did I do?

I washed the dishes.

I meal prepped with what food I had left.

I turned up my praise music.

Loud!

Wearing headphones, of course.

Tossed in some chicken strips and Ore Ida coins(two of the five items that were delivered from 28!!!!!!!!!!)

Now, I am waiting for chicken strips and Ore Ida Golden Coins to get done.

Hmm…um, Father, please don’t say ANOTHER tornado coming in a few hours. Speaking of that, we are supposed to get some bad storming tomorrow. A friend texted me to be sure to charge my phone and be prepared in case the lights go out. Again. Wow.

Be encouraged, beloveds.

Keep on washing dishes.

Keep on playing uplifting music.

Keep on doing meal prep.

Keep on living your life.

No matter what happens.

I am learning this the hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaarrrrrrrrrd way.

I no longer ask why or what’s going on.

I am learning just to ask for grace for the day and to keep it moving.

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!!!!

Know, beloveds, that it IS okay to cry when you experience a loss. If I hear one more person try to dismiss my struggles, now, because ‘you are alive so be thankful’, I am going to scream.

Yes, I am thankful to be alive. It is ALSO true that I tornado tore up my town, my yard and scared me within an inch of my life. My insides are STILL tore up about hearing a freight train outside my front door. Geeeeeeeeeez, God. Cut a sista some slack!

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I’m quite proud of me. I’m astonished, truly, about the grace and comfort of God. It really is surpassing understanding. In the past, I would have been flipping out. And, I mean flipping out.

What changed me?

Well, CHOOSING to trust God. I mean REALLY trust Him. With ME. See, beloveds, I had all the faith in the world for you, for others. For me, though, I had hidden doubt that God actually and truly did love ME.

Why?

Because, all my life I have been told to shut up because I was too loud. too happy, too joyful. Too this, that and ALL those other things. Folks wondered, and wonder still, ‘does it really take all that?!”

It does.

I’m passionate. What in the fresh hell is wrong with being passionate?

I’m loud. WHY the world, beloveds, can’t I be loud?! I have never been given the answer to this.

I’m ugly, as far as the world says. To me, I think I am quite beautiful. I have an amazing heart. I care for folk. I tell super dumb jokes that makes me and others laugh.

I am fat from comfort eating. More of me to love until I get the weight off.

I’m black. So what? Black is a beautiful color as are all the other races out there including my white bros and sis.

I’m financially strapped. So? I STILL use my funds to bless others and encourage as many folks as I can.

I’m a bible thumper/Holy Roller. So what?! I love me some Him.

I am many things. I may not be everyone’s cup of tea but some think I am the bomb.com.

I have digressed for a reason. I am needing ALL to know:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Live your lives, beloveds. No matter what.

Cry, when needed.

Laugh, always.

So, my chicken strips are calling me. Who wants some?

living anywho,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

One step.

One step.

One step.

Day 6: I give me an F.

I screamed.

I cried.

I screamed AND cried.

I cried AND screamed.

And that was all BEFORE the tornado.

🤣😁

Just a little waiting for the lights to come on humor.

Day 6!

I must admit, beloveds, I didn’t think I would make it past Day 3. Too much 🔥 hot. Too much darkness. Too much 😩 waiting!

Waiting! That’s ALL I have been DOING, Lord!

Wait, You say.

Wait patiently, You say.

Really?

REALLLY?!

In THIS?

God: Especially this.

Me: K.

waiting patiently sorta,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Waiting patiently. I know. I don’t care for veggies either but we must eat them as well. Geeeeez. Be encouraged. We can do this. I think. He knows.😁🤣🥰❤️‍🩹♥️

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!