Note: Keep putting yourself out there, beloveds. Even when it hurts. I put myself out there, today. Empty was returned. It hurt. Terribly.
I rose. I hugged myself. I told my try not to become bitter. I reached out. Reach out said no. It happens. Life happened. Ow.
Yet, I smile. I am grateful. It was another opportunity to extend myself. I accept the outcome.
I am learning to enjoy the nectar of my try.
I am doing my best to not allow transactions to be in my try. I am trying. I am asking for what I need. I am giving what I have.
EVERYTHING has it’s reasons. We just don’t know what those reasons are. We may never get to know. I am trying to learn to be okay with that terribly cold fact.
Be encouraged. Your try matters. You matter. Keep on keeping on. Don’t be ashamed of your try. I love you. So does He.
Sad came to visit. Sad wanted to hang out a bit and commiserate about mom.
I invited sad for ☕ coffee.
Me and sad talked of sad things:
Losing mom.
Losing my job.
Losing supposed friends.
Thanksgiving alone.
Then, I presented sad with it’s cap 🧢 and sent sad on it’s way. I told sad to send joy around.
Joy stopped by for some 🎶 music and fun. Want to join us?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: It’s okay to be sad, at times. Be sad, beloveds, then keep it moving. You have too much life to live. You have too much love inside you to share. You have too much love to receive.
Open your heart and receive. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
If you are reading these words, beloveds, they are meant for YOU. Yes, YOU. How do I know this? Because, I have prayed and asked God to bring them to he/she/they who are in the most need.
I have NEVER felt more forsaken or more forgotten in all of my 56 years of life. Even losing mom wasn’t THIS hard.
The more, I have tried, to move FORWARD, the more it appears that I have, in fact, moved fifty steps backwards.
Fear has been trying to get me to go back to the comfortableness of not doing too much, not giving too much, not trying to much. It’s much easier, it seems, to give as little as possible. It feels as though it would be better to stop hoping for anything more than the bare minimum.
Hooey on THAT! There is too much out there for us, beloveds. We will NOT go backwards.
We have NOT been forgotten. We have NOT been forsaken. It just feels like that, at times. Isn’t it a good thing that feels do NOT run our lives? WE run them. WE choose how we respond. WE decide if we will waste time being angry and bitter over the happenstances that have happened.
WE choose to be free, by our thoughts and habits. WE decide if we will be imprisoned by our choices, by our inactions/actions.
Be encouraged. Get up. Turn on the lights. Breathe. Then, begin. Again. You CAN. You WILL.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: These hard days are just that: hard days. They are NOT a mandate for how the rest of your life will play out. You will move beyond the hard and into the greatness The Universe is fixing to reward your tenacity/integrity with. Get excited. Your best days truly are before you. You simply must get through this hard. That’s it. Simple, huh?…lol. Keep going. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
I needed to stop, to take a break, long before the tornado brought this life to a screeching halt.
I needed to stop after my dad died and I couldn’t get to his funeral. I didn’t. I had also just recently lost my home care position as my client had passed away. It was a double whammy: Lost job. Lost father. I had to immediately get on unemployment, find a job, have stupid weekly unemployment checks/meetings.
I needed to stop after Hurricane Katrina. I didn’t. Not only did I NOT stop, I did an extreme amount of overtime to ‘make due’.
I needed to stop after mom died. I didn’t. I stopped long enough for an 11 day binder. Then, I put on my ‘big girl panties’ put my head down, and hid in overtime for years.
I needed to stop many times, after that. I didn’t. I didn’t feel as if I could. I HAD to pay the bills. I just HAD to be available, round the clock, for family, for work, for the church, for friends, for…you get the point.
In all that ‘working’ I stopped working, for my work. I worked for work’s sake. I worked for the sake of work. I worked because I knew nothing else.
I’m learning how to stop. For my mental health sake. For my heart sake. For me. I have needed to stop for a long time now. I have given myself permission to stop. I have to learn how to begin again, slowly. I have to learn how to take my time. To be sure to give myself time to grow and learn and prosper.
We do ourselves a disservice when we run ourselves into the ground. We do not honor our family and God when we do this. We have to love ourselves while we are loving others.
Be sure to stop and rest as needed. Make sure not to live your life running on empty.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: The life is just as important as all the people you take care of. Make sure you love yourself as well.
Too often, beloveds, we do not give ourselves near enough grace. We force ourselves to work well past the cut off point. We make ourselves give until we are empty. Then, we give what we don’t have. Then, we shut off our feels to the point our hearts are hurting, exhausted and weary.
Yet, we refuse to give ourselves permission to feel, to rest, to experience and to grow.
I have been angry with myself, stupidly so, for being so shaken following the tornado. Only someone who has literally had a tornado outside their door/home will even understand what I am saying here. I am thankful most have not and pray they never will.
There is something that happens to the mind, at least to MY mind, knowing I was literally a breath away from death. I am not afraid to die. That said, when a tornado comes calling, all bets are off on the ‘I’m not afraid’ thing.
I have been trying to get my comfort back, ever since. There are days when I think I have found it. Other days, I cower beneath uncertainty. I hover next to unexpected doom/dread. I tell doom/dread to go away. They leave. They return. Rinse. Repeat.
I just stopped by, beloveds, to let someone know it really IS okay to not be okay until one is okay again. I will be okay. Soon? I don’t know. Maybe if my not being okay had not cost me my job, I would be faring better. Now, I have to fight to regain my footing, whilst trying to find another gig. The most frightening time ever.
Still, this time has been no surprise for The Universe. I WILL make it through. I just have to go through this time. One step at a time. One day at a time. Often, one second at a time.
In the meantime, I am drinking lots of coffee. I am writing. I am singing badly…*shrug*. I am doing chores. Sorta. I am trying to be kinder to me and my slow getting it together self.
This has been a beautiful time, though. I have nursed the night, until it turned back into day. I have chased the dawn until it turned into tomorrow.
I have found new parts of me. I have tossed out old parts. God has given them back…hahahaha!!
I have laughed a bit. I have cried a ton.
I have lived. I AM living. Now. Here. I’m not waiting for this or that to live. I am doing my level best to enjoy my day(s). There is a gift in those things, eh? I think so.
Right now I have mood lights blinking in agreement. I have a nice cup of coffee waiting for me to finish this piece. I spent a delish few hours commiserating with my wombie.
When I finish, I think I shall gather The Father from the curb I kicked Him to, yesterday. Yea, beloveds, I told God I was DONE praying and asking for things I have been asking for every day for the past five hundred fifty million bajillon seventeen days to NO result…lol. I sowwy, Father.
Be encouraged, beloved. Give yourself permission would you please and thanks?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Cut yourself some slack. Remember, you are doing the best you know how. you will get to where you need to go. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your circumstances. In the meantime, do the best you can to enjoy your day.
Life has been full of nothing but Yes or No, lately.
Will you give up?
Yes or No?
Will you keep trying?
Yes or No?
Will you keep on reaching out even when folks fail to respond?
Yes or No?
Will you continue to get out of bed and do what you can?
Yes or No?
I have said Yes, more than I have said No. That’s good. I think…lol.
I have said No a time or two or three…hahahahahahahahahaha!
How are you answering YOUR questions, beloveds?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: There are no victims around here, eh? We make our choices. Yes, life wops us upside the head. Yet, we STILL get to CHOOSE yea or nay when it comes to acting ten kinds of fools.
It was on my heart to get up and encourage folk. Initially, I said ‘No’. What the world else did folk need to hear that I have not already said????…*sigh*. I got up. I encouraged. Which ended up encouraging me.
Right now, some chocolate chip cookies and milk are asking me…hahahahahahahahahaha.
Good morning, beloveds. I just wanted to send some hugs and some cheers.
How is your heart doing today? Are you looking out for your heart, today? Have you gotten in some me time? Be sure to get it in there, okay?
We don’t spend near enough time with ourselves. Many are afraid to. They are afraid to be alone with their thoughts. Thoughts can get a smidge terrifying can’t they?
Don’t be afraid to get to know YOU. Folks are forever trying to get the attention of others. Spend some time with just you. You will be amazed at all the fantastic things going on in that head of yours.
Take the time to get to know YOU. I have been amazed at all the ramblings running around, in my head. Serious things. Super silly things. Thoughtful things. Inspiring things. Sad things. Peaceful things.
I am learning how to take a breath, take a breath, and just take things in. Just cuz. Just cuz life wants to be life and hang out with me.
Be sure to get in some ‘just cuz’ time, would you please? Your heart needs the rest. Your heart needs the love.
Have an amazing Thursday, okay?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I hear a cup of coffee hollering for me. Who is up for a cup?
Your age will be telling you what you can and can not do.
Are you ready to take a leap of faith, towing your age behind you?
Or not?
Ready or not.
Your critics, your haters, and possibly your friends will scoff at your dreams, the second you walk centerstage.
Are you ready to do and be you, regardless who is watching?
Or not?
I’m ready. Are you, beloveds? Or not…
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Our future is unknown. The only thing we can control is our try. Take centerstage. Go for your dreams. Make many mistakes. Laugh a lot. Make new friends. Experience failure. Rinse. Repeat.
Life can be draining. I’m running on empty. I plan on refilling myself with cheetos and chicken strips. 🤣🥰
How about you?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Be sure to laugh today. All that has been troubling you will be in trouble, as The Universe works things out for you. Try not to worry. Things WILL work out as they ought. Until then…
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 