IT IS FINISHED. BUT BELOVEDS, WE ARE NOT. ❤️🩹🌎
For Mom.
For Wombie.
For every person in this world carrying the name of somebody they love who is no longer here.
Beloveds,
Before I say anything else, I need to say two names that don’t belong to a sermon.
Mom.
Wombie.
Before there was Why Can’t I Be Loud?!
Before there were Beloveds.
Before #YourLifeMattersToMe.
Before the chairs. 🪑🪑
Before the fishing poles. 🎣🎣
Before I started asking you to come love this whole great big world with me—
there was family.
There was Mom.
There were her daughters.
There was ordinary life.
And then there was grief.
❤️🩹
My mother died on Christmas morning 2016.
We had plans.
We were supposed to take a vacation in March.
She was supposed to see my new car.
I thought we had time.
I was so sure we had time.
But March never came for us.
And I have learned something about grief:
Sometimes we don’t only lose a person.
We lose future tense.
“We’re going to…”
“Next time…”
“When you come over…”
“Wait until you see…”
“Next Christmas…”
“March.”
Then one day, without our permission, we will becomes we were going to.
😭❤️🩹
Maybe you have a March too.
Maybe yours wasn’t a vacation.
Maybe it was a phone call you thought you still had time to make.
A conversation.
A birthday.
A wedding.
An apology.
A meal.
A trip.
An ordinary Tuesday.
Maybe there was something you were absolutely certain the two of you would still get to do.
And then later didn’t come.
I won’t tell you what that loss is supposed to mean.
I won’t tell you everything happens for a reason.
I won’t tell you not to cry.
I won’t tell you that you should be “over it” by now.
I won’t tell you that because you believe God, grief shouldn’t hurt.
Nah, fam.
Sometimes faith cries.
Sometimes faith has questions.
Sometimes faith worships with tears running down its face.
Sometimes faith simply says:
God, I still miss them.
🙏🏿❤️🩹
Jesus wept.
Knowing what He knew, Jesus still wept.
So I will never ask you to anesthetize your grief to prove your faith.
Faith does not require anesthesia.
You can trust God and miss somebody terribly.
You can praise and ache.
You can laugh at a memory and cry thirty seconds later.
You can have a wonderful day without betraying the person who died.
You can keep living without leaving them behind.
Healing is not erasure.
❤️🩹
And Beloved, sometimes grief is complicated.
Maybe the person you lost loved you beautifully.
Maybe they didn’t.
Maybe you loved each other and hurt each other.
Maybe there were things left unresolved.
Maybe you’re grieving with gratitude.
Maybe you’re grieving with anger.
Maybe grief came mixed with relief, guilt, confusion, tenderness or questions you still cannot answer.
There is a chair for you too.
🪑
I am not going to rank anybody’s grief.
I am not going to tell you how yours is supposed to look.
I will simply sit beside you.
Because sometimes love doesn’t need an explanation.
Sometimes love says:
Tell me about them.
Sometimes love says:
Say their name.
Sometimes love doesn’t say anything at all.
Sometimes love just stays.
🪑❤️🩹🪑
And that brings me back to Mom.
My mother was more than the day she died.
She was more than Christmas morning.
More than my grief.
More than my memories.
More than what I learned after losing her.
Before she was Mom, she was a whole human being.
She had a life.
A personality.
Dreams.
Preferences.
Stories.
Joy.
Disappointments.
Things I knew.
Things I probably never knew.
She belonged to herself before she belonged to anybody else.
But Wombie and I still get to call her:
Mom.
🧸❤️
And I don’t want death to become louder than her life.
Because death does something strange when we remember people.
One date can become so enormous that it begins swallowing everything that came before it.
The hospital gets louder than the kitchen.
The funeral gets louder than the laughter.
The final breath gets louder than every breath before it.
Nah, fam.
DEATH GETS ONE DATE.
LOVE GETS THE WHOLE LIFE.
❤️🔥
Look at a headstone sometime.
Two dates.
A little dash between them.
That tiny dash can hold an entire world.
Birthdays.
Breakfasts.
Arguments.
Songs.
Inside jokes.
Work.
Children.
Bad decisions.
Second chances.
Car rides.
Christmases.
Recipes.
Mistakes.
Apologies.
Laughter.
Ordinary Tuesdays.
Love.
A whole human life compressed into one tiny line.
The world may see a dash.
The people who loved them know that dash was a world.
🌎❤️🩹
That’s why losing one person can feel like losing an entire world.
And somewhere tonight, somebody understands exactly what I mean.
Somebody just got the call.
Somebody is planning a funeral.
Somebody is cleaning out a closet.
Somebody cannot bring themselves to clean out the closet.
Somebody reached for the phone before remembering.
Somebody heard their song.
Somebody cooked their recipe.
Somebody smelled a familiar perfume.
Somebody dreamed about them and woke up happy for three beautiful seconds before remembering.
Somebody lost their person yesterday.
Somebody lost theirs fifty years ago.
And suddenly today—
it hurts again.
Beloved,
bring their name.
🌎❤️🩹
You don’t have to leave them outside to sit with us.
Bring Mom.
Bring Daddy.
Bring your sister.
Bring your brother.
Bring your child.
Bring your spouse.
Bring your friend.
Bring the person whose relationship to you doesn’t fit neatly into a box.
Bring the person whose name still catches somewhere between your heart and your throat.
There is room.
🪑🪑
And while we’re sitting here, I need to say something to Wombie too.
We lost the same mother.
But that doesn’t mean we have the same grief.
Same Mom.
Different daughters.
Different memories.
Different relationships.
Different places where her absence lives.
Neither grief has to compete with the other.
There is room for both.
❤️🩹❤️🩹
Maybe that’s something all of us can remember.
Two people can stand at the same funeral and go home carrying entirely different losses.
Love doesn’t require us to compare them.
Love makes room.
And memory makes room too.
One person remembers something another forgot.
Somebody remembers the laugh.
Somebody remembers the recipe.
Somebody remembers the phrase they always used.
Somebody remembers a story differently.
Piece by piece, we remind one another:
They were here.
🧩
Not:
Their death was here.
THEY were here.
That distinction matters to me.
Because my mother’s death is part of her story.
It is not her whole story.
And my grief is part of mine.
It is not my whole story either.
I am still here.
Wombie is still here.
You are still here.
🌎
And that brings me to Jesus.
There are three words Christians know well:
IT IS FINISHED.
Jesus said them.
Not me.
Not you.
Jesus.
And I need to be careful here because I don’t want to borrow His sentence for something He never assigned to it.
Jesus’ job is done.
Our job is not done.
That does NOT mean Jesus completed part of salvation and left the rest for us.
Nah, fam.
We are not finishing Calvary.
We are not completing Christ.
We are not anybody’s Messiah.
What belonged to Jesus to finish, Jesus finished.
🙏🏿❤️🔥
His work is completion.
Our work is response.
We don’t love the world to finish what Jesus couldn’t.
We love because we have been loved.
We don’t have to become saviors.
We can become neighbors.
And neighbors can do ordinary things.
Call.
Listen.
Visit.
Feed somebody.
Remember.
Protect.
Apologize.
Forgive where forgiveness is possible and healthy.
Hold a hand.
Say a name.
Pull up another chair.
Stay.
Love.
❤️
That’s our work.
And Beloveds—
there are still people here.
That’s why I’m not finished.
That’s why you’re not finished.
That’s why we aren’t finished.
Not because death is stalking us and we should live terrified of every goodbye.
No.
I don’t want fear to teach us how to love.
Life is happening now.
That’s enough reason.
The last ordinary day usually looks ordinary while we’re living it.
Nobody announces:
This is the last phone call.
This is the last Christmas.
This is the last ridiculous joke.
This is the last hug.
So don’t spend your life terrified that everything might be the last thing.
Instead:
Let ordinary love count while it is still ordinary.
❤️🔥
Tell people they matter while they can hear you.
Sit with them.
Laugh with them.
Listen.
Be present.
Don’t wait for a funeral to discover somebody was precious.
Don’t wait for March.
And if your March has already disappeared—
come sit with me.
I know something about missing a March.
❤️🩹🪑
Mom’s love did not make her immortal.
But her death did not make her love meaningless.
Some of what she gave reached her daughters.
And love moves.
Person to person.
Life to life.
❤️➡️❤️➡️❤️➡️❤️➡️🌎
Somebody may receive kindness tomorrow that began partly with a person whose name they will never know.
That’s an extraordinary kind of legacy.
Love that no longer needs your name attached to it.
But let me be clear:
Legacy is not reimbursement for loss.
Nothing beautiful that comes afterward makes losing somebody “worth it.”
Nothing replaces Mom.
Nothing gives us March.
Nothing balances some cosmic ledger and makes everything even.
I can be grateful for what love produced and still say:
I miss my mother.
Both are true.
❤️🩹
And maybe that’s why I keep coming back to the whole world.
🌎
Every stranger you pass contains a history you cannot see.
Somebody is carrying an empty chair.
Somebody is carrying a name.
Somebody is carrying a March.
Somebody is carrying joy and grief in the same body.
We don’t know everybody’s story.
Maybe we don’t need to.
Maybe we can begin somewhere simpler:
Beloved.
Before I know your race.
Beloved.
Before I know your country.
Beloved.
Before I know your politics.
Beloved.
Before I know whether you worship like me—or worship at all.
Beloved.
Before I know your story.
You are a human being standing here with me in this world.
And your life matters.
🌎❤️
I cannot love eight billion people individually.
Neither can you.
That’s why I don’t ask you to save the world.
I ask something human-sized.
One step.
Love somebody within your reach.
Then another person does the same.
Then another.
Then another.
One chair.
One phone call.
One meal.
One name remembered.
One person seen.
One act of love.
One step. One step. One step.
That’s how a human-sized heart approaches a world-sized command.
❤️➡️🌎
Mom,
I wish we had gotten March.
I wish you had seen what I wanted you to see.
I wish there had been more ordinary days.
But there weren’t.
So I will not pretend I understand everything.
I will not pretend missing you doesn’t hurt.
And I will not allow the day you died to become bigger than all the days you lived.
You were here.
You loved.
You mattered.
You still matter to your daughters.
🧸❤️🩹
Wombie,
there is room for your grief too.
Always.
❤️🩹
And Beloveds—
there is room for yours.
Bring the names.
Bring the memories.
Bring the questions.
Bring the laughter.
Bring the tears.
Bring the complicated parts.
Bring the whole messy human thing.
🪑🪑🌎
We don’t have to resolve before we belong.
And when we’re ready, we’ll stand—or sit, or roll—from that table and turn again toward the living.
Because there are still people here.
There is still kindness to give.
There is still loneliness to interrupt.
There is still injustice to confront.
There are still hands to hold.
There are still voices to hear.
There are still people who need another chair.
There is still a whole world full of human beings who need love.
So yes:
JESUS’ JOB IS DONE.
OUR JOB IS NOT DONE.
His:
IT IS FINISHED.
Ours:
KEEP LOVING.
Again tomorrow.
And the day after that.
For however many tomorrows we are given.
Mom was here.
Your person was here.
You are here.
And while we’re both still here—
LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER.
🌎❤️🩹❤️🔥
Your life matters to me.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Category: Poetry
LAST ONE. FRFR!
💙📫 ONE LAST POSTCARD — LOVE SOMEBODY NOW
Beloveds,
My mother died on Christmas morning in 2016.
Before she died, we had plans. We were supposed to take a vacation together in March. I was going to show her my new car.
I was so sure we had time.
We never got that chance.
We gave away her favorite bears at her funeral. Mom left giving love. I love in her stead..
That’s something life has taught me in a way I wish I had never needed to learn: we can be so sure about later.
Later I’ll call.
Later I’ll visit.
Later I’ll say I’m sorry.
Later I’ll tell them I love them.
Later we’ll take that trip.
Later we’ll sit together.
Later.
And sometimes, later doesn’t come.
Right now, I’m living with uncertainty of my own. I don’t know how much time I have.
But here’s the other truth:
Neither do you.
None of us does.
So please don’t spend all of today waiting for some imaginary perfect tomorrow before you love somebody.
Love somebody now.
Call them.
Reach out.
Sit beside them.
Forgive where you can.
Say the words while somebody is still here to hear them.
And if life has knocked you down, keep going. If you’re tired, keep going. If you’re hurting, keep going.
Don’t give up on yourself.
And don’t stop loving one another.
Jesus said that people would know His disciples by their love.
And one of the first Scriptures so many of us learned says:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son…” — John 3:16, KJV
God so loved the world.
🌎❤️
There’s the Word.
There’s the assignment.
Love one another.
Love the people God has put in front of you while you have the opportunity to do it.
Don’t wait for March.
Don’t wait for the vacation.
Don’t wait for the perfect day.
Don’t wait until you wish you had said something you can no longer say.
Love somebody now.
And while we’re both still here—
let’s love this world together.
Take care, Beloveds.
I love you.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
Help me be loud:
AFTER MIDNIGHT — WHAT ALL OF THIS WAS ABOUT 🌎❤️🔥
AFTER MIDNIGHT — WHAT ALL OF THIS WAS ABOUT 🌎❤️🔥
Beloveds,
Tonight we went a long way around to arrive at something that has actually been here all along.
Why Can’t I Be Loud? was never simply about being loud. It was about having a voice.
It was about refusing to let this world decide whose voice deserves room, whose story deserves to be heard, whose difference makes them inconvenient, or whose pain should be made quiet so everybody else can remain comfortable.
And somewhere in all of tonight’s music, memories, laughter, hurt, photographs, fishing poles, empty chairs, chains and rebirth, the message became clearer.
I see you.
Not the version of you somebody else decided you ought to become. Not only the polished you. Not only the healed you. Not only the easy-to-love you.
You.
I know something about what it feels like to believe you are the one nobody will choose. I know what it means to carry words spoken over you long after the people who said them have gone home. I know what being called ugly can do to a heart.
But I also know this:
God loved me then.
God loves me now.
And I learned to love me, too.
So when I tell you that your life matters to me, those are not decorative words at the bottom of a post. That is the work. That is the reason I keep opening the door. That is why there are two chairs instead of one and two fishing poles waiting beside them.
🎣🪑 🪑🎣
Come sit with me.
Bring your story.
Bring your laughter. Bring your questions. Bring your faith or your uncertainty. Bring your scars, your accent, your anger, your joy, your difference, your whole complicated self.
You do not have to become somebody else before there is a chair for you.
Maybe that is what all these playlists and stories and conversations have been doing. They have been fishing for something bigger than any one song, movie, photograph, country, race, body, language or life.
Fishing for love.
Fishing for one another.
Fishing for a world where seeing somebody different does not make us retreat, but makes us curious enough to pull up another chair.
Because I don’t want to love only the people who look like me.
I want us to love the whole world together.
🌎
That is why I keep saying:
One step. One step. One step.
Because changing the world sounds impossible.
Loving the human being sitting in the other chair does not.
And maybe enough of those little acts of love eventually become something enormous.
A chain transformed.
A life reborn.
A voice recovered.
A lonely table with another chair pulled up beside it.
A world remembering that we belong to one another.
So after everything tonight, I think the summary may actually be very simple:
You matter to me.
I see you.
You are loved.
You are not alone.
And whatever tried to convince you that you had to disappear in order to belong—
Nah, fam.
There is room here for your voice.
Keep on being…YOU!
🌎❤️🔥🪑🪑🎣🎣
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
Help me be loud:
🤣😂🥰😍
😂🎤 SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO LAUGH
Beloveds,
Listen.
Sometimes there is a lesson.
Sometimes there is a testimony.
Sometimes there is something that makes me stop, think, pray, cry, or look at the world a little differently.
And sometimes?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
IT’S JUST FUNNY.
That’s it.
That’s the post. 😂
I love comedy.
I love laughing.
I love those moments when somebody says something so ridiculous that you weren’t prepared for it and the laugh just FALLS OUT. 🤣
Everything does not need a dissertation.
Everything does not need twelve footnotes.
Everything does not need Robie standing in the corner with a clipboard trying to determine:
🤓📝 “But what does the laughter represent?”
SIR.
SIT DOWN.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sometimes joy gets to be joy.
Sometimes funny gets to be FUNNY.
And sometimes I just want to laugh.
So come laugh with me. 😂❤️
🎤 You’re Up Next Clean Comedy Competition:
https://youtu.be/trxTFRo0DHw?is=93fMmi2_dUfB6pOs
And if you’re wondering what all these seemingly different things have to do with each other, come over here:
❤️🌎 A-B-B-A — WHAT DOES LOVE DO?
https://whycantibeloud.wordpress.com/2026/08/28/22490/
But first?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LAUGH.
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
❤️🌎
Help me be loud:
👘 I COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS HARD RIGHT-HANDED
👘 I COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS HARD RIGHT-HANDED
Beloveds,
It started with a kimono.
👘
Yep.
A kimono.
Because apparently God will use whatever is lying around when He wants me to notice something. 🤣
I was getting dressed, working with this body of mine, doing what has become normal:
figuring it out.
Not necessarily doing something the way I used to do it.
Not necessarily doing it the way somebody else would.
Just figuring out how this body can get it done.
👘
And somewhere in all that maneuvering, adjusting, pulling, reaching, twisting, and making the clothes cooperate, a thought hit me:
I couldn’t have done this hard right-handed.
Ironically.
🤯🤯🤯
Because my dominant hand used to be the hand I depended on.
The hand that knew what to do without being told.
The hand I probably barely thought about.
Then life changed.
My body changed.
And suddenly the side that wasn’t supposed to be the star had to learn some lines.
👀
And apparently she has been studying.
🤣
Because there I was—
getting myself together,
putting on my clothes,
working out this kimono,
and realizing that some of the things I have learned to do now might actually be harder if I tried to do them the old way.
WHEW.
👘🤯
Then came the headset.
🎧
Y’all.
I realized I had been putting my headset on backwards.
🤣🤣🤣
So what was supposed to be coming through one side was coming through the other.
I had been listening to the world backward.
And somehow…
I WAS STILL LISTENING.
👀
Now hold on.
Because THAT got me.
My headset was backwards.
My sound was coming to me differently.
And I suddenly thought about this body that sometimes does the opposite of what I expect it to do.
The signals don’t always travel the way they once did.
The side I once depended on isn’t necessarily the side doing the work now.
Sometimes I have to approach something backward.
Sideways.
Opposite.
With the other hand.
From another angle.
With another method.
And yet—
I am still here doing it.
😭❤️🔥
Maybe different isn’t always less.
Maybe sometimes different is simply:
the way through.
Maybe I have spent so much time noticing what my body cannot do the old way that I almost missed what it has quietly been learning to do another way.
👘🎧🧠❤️🔥
That kimono wasn’t just clothing this morning.
That backwards headset wasn’t just a funny mistake.
They made me notice something.
I have been adapting.
Learning.
Problem-solving.
Listening.
Living.
And sometimes doing things in ways I never would have discovered if life hadn’t forced me to learn another side of myself.
😭
I couldn’t have done this hard right-handed.
Read that again.
The hand I once would’ve automatically chosen might actually have made today’s task harder.
The hand I didn’t choose had something to teach me.
🤯
And maybe that’s bigger than hands.
Sometimes the route we would have chosen isn’t the route that teaches us what we’re capable of.
Sometimes what feels backward is still moving us forward.
Sometimes the other side has been learning while we were grieving the side we lost.
And sometimes you look down at yourself wearing your kimono, realize your headset has been backwards, think about the absolute ridiculousness and wonder of this whole journey and have only one thing left to say:
WON’T HE DO IT!!
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿😭❤️🔥
Beloveds,
however you have to get there today—
left-handed,
right-handed,
backward,
sideways,
slowly,
awkwardly,
with three attempts and a prayer—
GET THERE YOUR WAY.
Different does not automatically mean deficient.
Sometimes different is evidence that you are still learning how to live.
And there is life in that.
🌎❤️🔥
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Help me be loud:
WHAT IF I BECOME TOO EXPENSIVE TO LOVE? 😭💔❤️🔥
AUGUST 28, 2026
WHAT IF I BECOME TOO EXPENSIVE TO LOVE? 😭💔❤️🔥
Beloveds,
This one hurts.
Because Jesus/The Father have been walking us underneath guilt.
Underneath independence.
Underneath our desperate need to be useful.
And maybe underneath all of that is a fear some of us have never said aloud:
“What if loving me eventually costs too much?”
😭💔
Not money.
Heart.
Time.
Energy.
Patience.
Plans.
Convenience.
Sleep.
Attention.
What if I need too much?
What if my healing takes too long?
What if my grief keeps showing up?
What if I can’t bounce back according to everybody else’s preferred schedule?
What if I need somebody again tomorrow?
And next week?
And after everybody has finished saying, “I’m here if you need me,” what happens when I actually need them?
😭❤️🔥
Maybe that’s why some of us apologize constantly.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry you had to come.
I’m sorry this took so long.
I’m sorry I needed you.
I’m sorry you had to change your plans.
I’m sorry I’m crying again.
I’m sorry I’m not myself.
I’m sorry I’m still struggling.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for being expensive to love.
💔
And perhaps Jesus/The Father interrupt:
“Beloved, who taught you that love keeps an invoice?”
😭😭😭❤️🔥
Because maybe somewhere along the way, doing felt safer than needing.
If I do everything myself, nobody gets tired because of me.
If I don’t ask, nobody can resent the request.
If I don’t need, nobody gets the opportunity to decide that my needs are too much.
If I keep giving, perhaps nobody will notice how desperately I need to receive.
And if I make myself useful enough—
maybe nobody will regret keeping me around.
WHEW.
😭💔❤️🔥
Beloveds, that isn’t just independence.
Sometimes that’s fear wearing work clothes.
Fear can look remarkably responsible.
Fear gets things DONE.
Fear says:
“Don’t ask anybody. Handle it.”
Fear says:
“Don’t let them see how bad it really is.”
Fear says:
“Hurry up and get better before everybody gets tired.”
Fear says:
“Make yourself useful.”
Fear says:
“Give something back QUICKLY.”
Because fear believes:
If I receive more than I give for too long, somebody may decide I’m no longer worth the cost.
😭
But Jesus/The Father are challenging that accounting system.
Not by telling us relationships don’t require reciprocity.
They do.
Healthy love needs respect.
Gratitude.
Communication.
Boundaries.
Care in both directions.
But love is not always perfectly balanced in every season.
Sometimes you carry me.
Sometimes I carry you.
Sometimes we walk beside each other.
And sometimes, Beloved—
I simply cannot carry my end today.
💔❤️🔥
That doesn’t automatically make me a burden.
It makes me human.
And perhaps the hardest thing for some of us to learn is this:
Being carried does not mean you have become the weight.
😭😭😭
Read THAT again.
You can require assistance without becoming an inconvenience.
You can require patience without becoming a problem.
You can require tenderness without becoming weak.
You can receive more during one season without becoming less valuable.
And somebody can become tired while helping you without their tiredness meaning:
“I wish you didn’t exist.”
❤️🔥
WHEW.
Some of us needed that sentence.
Because we watch everybody’s faces.
Don’t we?
👀
Was that sigh because of me?
Are they tired of me?
Did I ask too much?
Did their voice sound different?
Should I stop asking?
Should I figure this out myself?
Maybe I shouldn’t have called.
Maybe—
Beloved.
Come back.
😭❤️🔥
Jesus/The Father aren’t asking us to ignore people’s boundaries.
They’re teaching us not to turn every human limitation into a verdict on our worth.
Someone can love you and be tired.
Someone can love you and need rest.
Someone can love you and occasionally say no.
Someone can love you and have needs of their own.
Their boundary does not automatically mean:
“You became too much.”
And your need does not automatically mean:
“You failed.”
🙏❤️🔥
But there is something even deeper here.
Maybe we’re more comfortable being needed than being wanted.
Because being needed gives us something to do.
Fix something.
Carry something.
Encourage somebody.
Make somebody laugh.
Solve the problem.
Pray.
Work.
Serve.
Give.
We know exactly what to do with:
“I need you.”
But what happens when somebody says:
“I just want you here.”
😭
No assignment.
No performance.
No problem to solve.
No payment required.
Just—
you.
And suddenly we don’t know where to put our hands.
😗❤️🔥
Because if there’s nothing to do, nothing to earn and nothing to prove, we’re left standing in front of the question:
“Is who I am enough reason for somebody to stay?”
💔
And perhaps Jesus/The Father whisper:
“Yes.”
Before you helped anybody.
Yes.
Before you became strong.
Yes.
Before you learned how to make everybody laugh.
Yes.
Before you accomplished anything.
Yes.
Before you got yourself together.
Yes.
When you are giving.
Yes.
When you are receiving.
Yes.
When you are standing.
Yes.
When you have to be carried.
Yes.
😭🙏❤️🔥
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son…”
— John 3:16 KJV
Notice the order.
He loved.
Then He gave.
Love wasn’t waiting at the finish line after we became impressive enough.
Love moved first.
😭❤️🔥
Maybe that’s what Jesus/The Father are teaching us.
“Beloved, you keep trying to give Us reasons to love you.
Our love was here before your reasons.”
WHEW.
So maybe the question today isn’t:
“What can I do so people will keep loving me?”
Maybe it’s:
“Can I believe I’m worth loving when I have nothing to offer today except myself?”
😭💔❤️🔥
CASSANDRA CHALLENGE ❤️🔥
Catch yourself trying to pay emotional rent today.
When you feel yourself scrambling to prove that you’re worth the trouble—
stop.
Don’t immediately perform.
Don’t immediately promise repayment.
Don’t immediately apologize for needing.
Try:
“Thank you for being here.”
Then allow the moment to remain unfinished.
No transaction.
No invoice.
Just love received.
And tonight, perhaps sit with Jesus/The Father and ask:
“Why am I more comfortable being needed than simply being wanted?”
😭🙏
Then listen.
Because perhaps Jesus/The Father have something extraordinarily tender to say:
“Beloved, We did not come because you were useful to Us.
We came because We love you.
You don’t have to work while you’re being held.”
😭😭😭❤️🔥
Maybe you’ve spent years asking:
“What can I do for love?”
And now Jesus/The Father are asking:
“Will you finally let love do something for you?”
😭🙏💔❤️🔥
Unapologetically His.
Unapologetically yours.
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️🔥
Help me be loud:
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, DOING FELT SAFER THAN NEEDING 😭❤️🔥
AUGUST 27, 2026
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, DOING FELT SAFER THAN NEEDING 😭❤️🔥
Beloveds,
“Somewhere along the way, you discovered that doing felt safer than needing,” says Jesus/The Father.
😭❤️🔥
Whew.
Sit with that.
Because maybe you didn’t wake up one morning and decide:
I will never need anybody.
Maybe you learned it.
Slowly.
Quietly.
One disappointment at a time.
One responsibility at a time.
One “I’ll just do it myself” at a time.
One moment of discovering that being the helper felt much safer than being the one who needed help.
So you became a doer.
You handled things.
You fixed things.
You carried things.
You anticipated needs before anybody had to ask.
You became dependable.
Productive.
Helpful.
Strong.
Funny when the room got uncomfortable.
Encouraging when everybody else was falling apart.
You learned how to walk into somebody else’s pain carrying a bucket of water while your own house was smoking.
😭❤️🔥
And maybe nobody ever told you directly:
“You are only valuable when you’re useful.”
But somewhere along the way, usefulness started feeling like safety.
If I’m useful, I belong.
If I’m helping, I’m needed.
If I’m giving, I’m valuable.
If I’m strong, nobody has to carry me.
If I don’t need much, nobody can call me too much.
And if I never ask anybody to come…
I never have to discover whether they will.
😭😭😭❤️🔥
There it is.
Beloveds, sometimes independence is beautiful.
And sometimes independence quietly becomes armor.
Not because something is wrong with us.
Because somewhere along the way, doing felt safer than needing.
And Jesus/The Father know exactly where that happened.
They know what taught you to say:
“I got it.”
They know why asking feels uncomfortable.
They know why receiving can make you feel guilty.
They know why somebody rearranging their life to help you can make you cry instead of simply making you grateful.
They know why you immediately start looking for the invoice.
How do I repay this?
What do I owe?
Did I ask too much?
Am I becoming a burden?
How quickly can I make this up to them?
And perhaps Jesus/The Father are saying:
“Beloved, We know why you learned to survive this way.”
😭🙏❤️🔥
“We saw you become the strong one.”
“We saw you learn how to carry.”
“We saw you discover that giving felt safer than receiving.”
“We saw you become so good at helping everybody else that eventually you didn’t know what to do when somebody reached for YOU.”
And They aren’t standing over you angry about it.
They are inviting you out of hiding.
❤️🔥
Because there is a difference between:
“I can do this myself.”
and
“I MUST do this myself because needing somebody feels dangerous.”
One is ability.
The other may be armor.
And armor can protect you beautifully in battle.
But beloved—
armor makes receiving a hug awfully difficult.
😭❤️🔥
Maybe that’s why tenderness feels so strange.
Somebody comes.
Somebody stays.
Somebody helps.
Somebody sees the mess.
Somebody sees that you cannot fix everything today.
And suddenly two voices start talking inside you.
One says:
“Thank God. Somebody came.”
The other says:
“Oh God. Somebody HAD to come.”
😭
Love says:
“Look how deeply I am cared for.”
Shame says:
“Look how much trouble I caused.”
Same moment.
Completely different interpretation.
And if we’re not careful, shame will take somebody else’s beautiful act of love and turn it into evidence against us.
They came because they love you.
Shame says you inconvenienced them.
They helped because you matter.
Shame says you became a problem.
They stayed because relationship matters.
Shame whispers that you’re becoming too much.
And before long, you can receive all the help…
without ever receiving the love.
😭😭😭❤️🔥
Oh, Beloveds.
Maybe Jesus/The Father are trying to interrupt that.
Maybe They are saying:
“Stop apologizing long enough to notice who came.”
“Stop calculating long enough to experience being cared for.”
“Stop trying to repay tenderness before tenderness has even had time to reach your heart.”
Because perhaps the deepest question isn’t:
“Why do I have such a hard time asking for help?”
Maybe it’s:
“What do I believe will happen if somebody discovers that I need them?”
❤️🔥
Will they leave?
Will they resent me?
Will they make me feel small?
Will they remind me later?
Will there be strings attached?
Will they decide I’m too much?
Will I owe them forever?
Or…
😭
will they love me?
That’s the risk.
Because doing gives us control.
Needing requires trust.
Doing says:
“I’ll handle it.”
Needing sometimes has to whisper:
“Will you help me?”
And receiving has to stand there afterward with empty hands and somehow resist saying:
“Now tell me what I owe you.”
😭❤️🔥
And Jesus/The Father know something about grace.
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:” — Ephesians 2:8 KJV
A gift.
Not wages.
Not a performance bonus.
Not payment for being sufficiently useful.
Gift.
Maybe that is why receiving love can become holy work.
Because receiving challenges everything in us that believes we must earn what is freely given.
Beloveds, perhaps Jesus/The Father aren’t trying to take your strength away.
Perhaps They are teaching your strength that it is finally allowed to rest.
😭🙏❤️🔥
You can still be capable.
You can still become stronger.
You can still pursue independence.
You can still do everything you genuinely can for yourself.
But you don’t have to turn independence into proof that you’re worthy.
And you don’t have to turn dependence into proof that you’re not.
Sometimes you carry.
Sometimes you’re carried.
Neither position determines your value.
❤️🔥
CASSANDRA CHALLENGE ❤️🔥
Today, notice your first reaction when somebody offers you genuine love, assistance or tenderness.
Do you immediately say:
“I’m sorry…”
“You don’t have to…”
“I’ll make it up to you…”
“I hate bothering you…”
Don’t condemn yourself.
Just notice.
Then try something terrifyingly simple:
“Thank you.”
And let it end there.
No invoice.
No apology.
No immediate repayment plan.
Just:
Thank you for loving me here.
😭❤️🔥
And maybe tonight, sit quietly before Jesus/The Father and ask:
“When did doing start feeling safer to me than needing?”
Then don’t rush to manufacture an answer.
Just sit.
Because perhaps Jesus/The Father have been waiting for us to become quiet enough to hear:
“Beloved, We know why you became strong.
But you never had to be strong enough to deserve Our tenderness.”
😭🙏❤️🔥
Whew.
Maybe healing isn’t only learning how to stand again.
Maybe some healing is discovering that when you cannot stand—
being held does not make you less worthy.
Unapologetically His.
Unapologetically yours.
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️🔥
Help me be loud:
Beloveds, I’ll BE the storm for you. 📞 call on me.
However long I have, you shall have my heart/my love, beloveds.
Beloveds,
This is a tough day, a tough week, a tough year.
Still, I rise.
Still, I try.
Again.
And, yet…
These are photos of my brain 🧠. The white areas are where the stroke happened.
They said my brain was on 🔥 fire. Burning what it could devour. Initially, I was completely paralyzed. I couldn’t speak. I could hear everything.
I found myself yelling ” I’m coming “at the top of my 🫁 lungs. No one could hear my silent, my tortured, my horrifying screams.
More on that later…
Tonight I stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.
I don’t ask why me. I HAVE wondered why the hard must be so damnably hard ALL day.
Yet, I fight on. So, too must you. Recently, I have had a major setback. They say my brain is burning embers causing my body to experience the same symptoms as before. At first, I freaked out. I hollered ” OH, God not AGAIN “
I couldn’t bear weight on my right leg. My left was fine. I was in excruciating pain.
After. The MRI showed no NEW stroke I was told I may have to live this way for the rest of my days.
Now, when I’m tired I can barely speak due to numb left cheek. Still, I have 📞 calls I have to make. Sis and niece no longer do anything I can do myself.
Now, I can finally get on my potty chair. I call it The Potty Wars.☺️🤠
I have gotten down to an hour. Last week it took three hours. Egads.
My life would have been easier if the stroke affected the other side so I could use my right hand.
Life said HA! DEAL WITH WHATYOU HAVE NOW.
So, I deal. I have to. So, do you!
We got this.
Life is NOT over!
I copied all the images for things I have planned for you. Yet, a stroke interrupted my life, my plans
Don’t know if I’ll get to finish.
However long I have, you shall have my heart/my love, beloveds.
I love you. Be encouraged.
loving you for the rest of my life, with the best of my life,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Help me be loud:
FROM THEIR HEART TO OURS ❤️🔥
Beloved, You Can Stop Trying to Earn What We Already Desire to Give You
Beloveds,
Today, we’re going to be quiet.
No teaching first.
No fixing.
No proving.
No trying to impress God with how well we’re handling everything.
Just…
come.
😭❤️🔥
Imagine setting everything down for a moment.
The guilt.
The shame.
The fear that you’re asking too much.
The embarrassment about what you cannot do.
The worry about everybody who’s helping you.
The questions about whether you’re becoming a burden.
The frantic need to prove that you’re still useful.
The old fear that love always comes with strings.
Set it down.
And hear the heart Scripture reveals to us from the Father and Jesus.
❤️🔥
❤️🔥 BELOVED, COME.
You keep thinking you have to get yourself together before you come close.
But Jesus already told us:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28, KJV
Not:
Come when you’re stronger.
Come.
Not:
Come when you’ve stopped crying.
Come.
Not:
Come when you’re useful again.
Come.
Not:
Come after you’ve cleaned up the mess.
Come.
Not:
Come when you finally have something impressive to offer.
Just…
come.
😭❤️🔥
You’ve spent so much time wondering what you can bring to God.
Maybe today the answer is:
yourself.
Tired.
Confused.
Grateful.
Angry.
Hopeful.
Scared.
Healing.
Hurting.
Laughing one minute and crying the next.
Still figuring things out.
Still learning how to receive.
Come anyway.
❤️🔥 YOU DO NOT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR NEEDING US
Some of us have been apologizing our way through life.
I’m sorry I need help.
I’m sorry I’m tired.
I’m sorry I can’t do what I used to.
I’m sorry I’m crying again.
I’m sorry I’m not stronger yet.
I’m sorry everybody has to help me.
And Scripture keeps showing us a God who invites needy people closer.
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
— 1 Peter 5:7, KJV
All your care.
Not only the respectable worries.
Not only the spiritual ones.
Not only the problems you think are big enough to bother God with.
All.
😭❤️🔥
What if the Father isn’t standing over you irritated because you need Him again?
What if He is exactly who Scripture says He is?
A Father.
And what if Jesus isn’t exhausted by the fact that you’re still learning?
What if grace anticipated that?
❤️🔥 WE KNEW YOU WOULD NEED GRACE BEFORE YOU EVER NEEDED IT
Grace wasn’t God’s emergency backup plan after humanity became messy.
👀❤️🔥
He knew.
He knew we would stumble.
He knew we would hurt.
He knew we would need forgiveness.
He knew we would become frightened.
He knew we would become exhausted.
He knew some days our prayers would sound magnificent…
and other days they’d sound like:
“Jesus. Help.”
😭🙏🏾
And somehow two words can still be prayer.
Sometimes one word can.
Jesus.
Sometimes tears themselves seem to carry what language cannot.
You don’t have to perform spirituality either.
❤️🔥 STOP BRINGING US YOUR RÉSUMÉ
Some of us keep approaching God with our list.
Look how faithful I’ve been.
Look how much I’ve served.
Look how much I’ve given.
Look how many people I’ve helped.
Look how hard I’ve tried.
And those things can be beautiful.
But beloved…
they aren’t currency for purchasing the Father’s love.
❤️🔥
Scripture says:
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:”
“Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
— Ephesians 2:8–9, KJV
Gift.
There is that word again.
Gift.
And some of us don’t know what to do with gifts.
😭❤️🔥
We know what to do with wages.
Earn them.
We know what to do with debts.
Repay them.
We know what to do with contracts.
Fulfill them.
But a gift?
A gift leaves us standing there with empty hands.
And perhaps that’s exactly where grace wants us.
Not empty because we are worthless.
Empty because:
there is finally room to receive.
❤️🔥 BELOVED, WE ARE NOT ASHAMED OF YOUR NEED
You may be ashamed.
God isn’t surprised.
You may look at your weakness and think:
“Surely this makes me less valuable.”
But Jesus has never needed your strength in order to be strong.
👀😭❤️🔥
Read that again.
Jesus does not need you to pretend to be strong so He can remain Savior.
You are allowed to need saving.
You are allowed to need carrying.
You are allowed to need comfort.
You are allowed to need mercy.
You are allowed to need rest.
You are allowed to need Him.
In fact…
that’s the whole point.
❤️🔥 YOU KEEP TRYING TO CARRY WHAT WE KEEP ASKING YOU TO RELEASE
Somebody needs this.
You’ve prayed about it…
then picked it back up.
😭😆❤️🔥
Lord, I give this to You.
Five minutes later:
WHERE DID I PUT THAT WORRY?
🏃🏾♀️😭😆
Right back in the bag.
Back on the shoulder.
Back into the mind.
Back into the 3:17 a.m. emergency meeting nobody invited Jesus to.
Beloved…
put it down again.
And if you pick it up tomorrow?
Put it down tomorrow.
Grace is patient enough for repetition.
❤️🔥 WE ARE NOT KEEPING THE SCORE YOU THINK WE ARE
Maybe you’ve imagined the Father with a ledger.
Good day.
Bad day.
Strong day.
Weak day.
Faithful day.
Messy day.
Prayer completed.
Prayer forgotten.
Bible read.
Bible untouched.
Kind words.
Bad attitude.
Excellent Tuesday.
Absolute foolishness Wednesday.
😭😆❤️🔥
And accountability matters.
Repentance matters.
Growth matters.
Obedience matters.
But none of those means the Father’s love fluctuates every morning according to your performance.
Scripture says:
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
— Romans 5:8, KJV
While we were yet sinners.
Before the cleanup.
Before the improvement.
Before the impressive testimony.
Love moved first.
😭❤️🔥
❤️🔥 JESUS: I ALREADY KNEW THE COST
Maybe this is where the fear of strings attached finally meets the Cross.
We’ve been asking:
“What will this love cost me later?”
And Jesus points us toward Calvary.
The cost wasn’t hidden.
He knew it.
He chose it.
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
— John 15:13, KJV
❤️🔥
The Cross isn’t Jesus giving us something so He can manipulate us later.
The Cross reveals sacrificial love.
Grace doesn’t say:
“Now spend your life trying to pay Me back.”
Grace says:
“Follow Me.”
There is a difference.
One is debt.
The other is relationship.
One says:
Repay.
The other says:
Come with Me.
😭❤️🔥
❤️🔥 THE FATHER: YOU ARE MY CHILD, NOT MY EMPLOYEE
Some of us understand employment better than sonship or daughterhood.
Employees earn wages.
Employees prove productivity.
Employees receive performance reviews.
Employees can be replaced when they stop producing.
So sometimes we unconsciously bring that model into our relationship with God.
What did I accomplish for You today?
But family asks another question:
Whose are you?
😭❤️🔥
Before you accomplished today’s list…
His.
When you got tired halfway through…
His.
When you cried…
His.
When you needed help…
His.
When somebody had to carry you…
His.
When you finally did something you couldn’t do yesterday…
His.
When tomorrow turns out harder again…
still His.
❤️🔥 JESUS: LET ME WASH YOUR FEET
Oh, this one.
👀😭❤️🔥
Peter struggled with receiving too.
When Jesus came to wash his feet, Peter resisted:
“Thou shalt never wash my feet.”
— John 13:8, KJV
Does that sound familiar?
No, no. I’ll do it.
You don’t have to do that for me.
I’ll handle it.
Let me serve YOU.
And Jesus challenged Peter to receive.
Sometimes humility isn’t kneeling down to serve.
Sometimes humility is remaining seated while love kneels in front of you.
😭😭❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
WHEW.
Some of us can wash everybody’s feet.
But when somebody reaches for ours?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Because serving feels holy.
Receiving feels vulnerable.
But Jesus demonstrated both.
And perhaps He is teaching us:
You cannot follow the way of love while refusing to ever occupy the receiver’s chair.
❤️🔥 BELOVED, SIT THERE.
Don’t jump up yet.
Don’t grab the towel.
Don’t say:
“Okay, now it’s my turn.”
Sit.
😭❤️🔥
Let yourself be served.
Let yourself be loved.
Let yourself be comforted.
Let somebody pray for YOU.
Let somebody encourage YOU.
Let somebody bring YOU something.
Let somebody make the phone call.
Let somebody drive.
Let somebody sit beside you.
Let somebody say:
“I’ve got this part.”
And don’t immediately answer:
“But—”
No but.
😆❤️🔥
Sit.
Receive.
❤️🔥 FROM THEIR HEART TO OURS
If we gathered the invitations of Scripture into one place, perhaps this is what our hearts need to hear today:
Come.
Cast your cares.
Receive grace.
Let Me give you rest.
Let Me love you first.
Let Me serve you.
Let Me carry what you cannot.
Then, when you have received love, go love somebody else.
Not to repay Me.
Not to prove yourself.
Not to purchase your place.
But because love received eventually becomes love overflowing.
😭❤️🔥🌎
“We love him, because he first loved us.”
— 1 John 4:19, KJV
There it is.
The whole thing.
He first loved us.
We receive.
Then…
we love.
🙏🏾 OUR RESPONSE
Father…
we have spent so much time trying to prove ourselves.
We’re tired.
Jesus…
we have resisted having our feet washed.
We thought strength meant always being the one holding the towel.
Forgive us where pride has kept our hands closed.
Heal us where hurt has kept them closed.
Comfort us where shame has kept them closed.
Give us wisdom where past manipulation taught us to fear every gift.
And then…
slowly…
gently…
teach us to open our hands.
😭🙏🏾❤️🔥
We receive Your grace.
We receive Your mercy.
We receive Your correction.
We receive Your comfort.
We receive Your rest.
We receive the trustworthy people You place around us.
We receive help without calling ourselves helpless.
We receive love without calling ourselves burdens.
And when guilt says:
“You need to pay this back,”
remind us that gratitude can simply say:
“Thank You.”
Father…
Thank You.
Jesus…
Thank You.
For coming.
For staying.
For carrying.
For loving first.
For loving still.
And for teaching us how to love because we finally learned how to receive Yours.
Amen.
😭❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
Beloveds…
Maybe today there is no Cassandra Challenge.
No homework.
No assignment.
Maybe today receiving IS the assignment.
Sit there.
Let Them love you.
Let grace finish its sentence before guilt interrupts.
And when your heart finally finds words…
just whisper:
“Thank You, Father.”
“Thank You, Jesus.”
“I receive.”
😭🙏🏾❤️🔥
From His heart to ours.
From our hearts to yours.
Unapologetically His.
Unapologetically yours.
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️🔥🌎
