When can you pack up your toys and go home when no one will come out to play with you?
Never.
When will you give up on you?
Never.
*Cassandra wipes tears from her eyes, turns her back on the mirror, and keeps on keeping on*
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
P.S. I told sis, a while ago, I was tired of shouting into the void. I told sis I was tired of feeling like a little girl who keeps taking her tea set outside to play and…
*Cassandra takes out her tea set in case there is someone in need of a spot of tea*
Keep going. Even if it feels you go alone, beloveds. You don’t. Neither do I. Some days feel tougher than others.
As my mama used to tell me “everything will be alright”.
You are at the precipice of your breakthrough.
You are one step away from your miracle.
You are seconds away from…
You must keep going to find out, okay?
Okay.
*Cassandra turns from the mirror and waits at the precipice*
waiting,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep going, beloveds. Don’t focus on the rock in your shoe. Pay no mind to the heat beating down on you as you move forward. Keep going. I got your back in prayer. Have mine.
Fulfillment is on YOUR raquet. It’s a YOU problem.
Your job, does NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. Your job gives you a paycheck. Hopefully, you enjoy what you do, do your best and find fulfillment in your try, in building relationships with your peers and leadership.
Your family, does NOT owe you their lives to fulfill your every hope, dream, wish and demand. Yes, your fam is there to love, support and protect you as best they can and as much as you will allow them to do so. Yet, once you have grown, of legal age, it is up to YOU to get and keep some act right in order to find fulfillment. This is YOU life. Your family owes you nothing. They love you because, well, just because they love you. When/if you get to acting ten kinds of fools they are perfectly free to kick you to the curb until your act right has gotten it’s act right.
God does NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. YOU must participate in a relationship with Him and grow your faith. He is NOT your concierge, Santa, butler, or maid.
Life does NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. YOU must climb those mountains. YOU must remove those mountains one pebble at a time. YOU must tell Life what you need and ask for assistance in getting what you need/desire/want. YOU must keep keeping on even after your keeping on has long since left you.
Your friends do NOT owe it to you to fulfill you. Yes, they walk with you. Yes, they support you. Yes, they give what they can when they have it to give. Your friends do NOT owe it to you to be your life raft. They give as they can. And, when they don’t have the time or energy it’s not on them or you. You love each other. Period. End of story. For as long as you both shall live or can live with or without one another.
Fulfillment: It’s a YOU problem.
Too many folk are forever disappointed or angry or all manner of things with God, with Life, with jobs, with friends, with family…
All because of having expectancy, having expectations that outside forces will content them on the inside.
Life is short. Time for us, all of us, to own our own stuff. Time for us, all of us, to get some act right and get to filling our own jars. Yes, it is wonderous when others fill up some of our empty spaces. In the meantime, the main person responsible for our fulfillment.
When you have experienced one too many boo boos, let HIM have it.
Okay, I don’t mean let Him have it as in….kapow.
Although….
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Just kidding.
This morning, I was ready to let somebody or something have it. I was thinking ‘enough already!’ about life continually being, well, life.
The every day sameness and what in the fresh hell is all this going on and why is THAT not going on and why is THIS STLL GOING ON was about enough to send me up ten walls. Being too tired to climb said walls, I talked to my wombie, instead.
Unapologetically, openly, I shared my heart and frustrations. Then, we both climbed up in The Father’s Lap and told Him all about our problems.
Then, we LEFT THEM WITH HIM!
Life seems to be about that life cutting up and acting a fool life, here lately. Costs are getting higher, nerves appear to be more frayed, folks seem to be growing less hopeful and more hopeless.
Storms come.
Storms pass.
They do, beloveds.
HOW we survive and thrive AFTER the storm, is the whole point. It’s the ENTIRETY of the ball game.
If the enemy, doubts, fears, circumstances, situations and a million other things you could state, can continually keep you unbalanced, unhappy and pointing fingers every which way…smh…
How and WHEN will you ever truly be content?
Answer:
YOU NEVER WILL!
Be, content.
In, ALL things.
No, it’s not easy.
Yet, it IS possible.
Have a fit. Ten, if it helps. Then, get up off the canvas and list all the things you do have. There is zero you can do about what you don’t currently have. Why keep going around that woe is my why don’t I have yet mountain. Leave there!
Instead, skip around the mountains of faith, hope, love, joy, friendship and all the other mountains you currently have, in your life.
Life is short.
Let Him have it.
Give your problems to Him.
He cares.
He will take care of things and you.
You got this.
I got this.
God and Life has got us all.
You can do this.
You CAN.
You WILL.
Be encouraged.
Stop giving yourself such a hard time.
You are doing all that you know.
That is enough.
Let it be enough.
I appreciate these hard times. Even the disappointing ones. Even the frustrating ones. Each time, each difficult time, keeps me fighting. For, me. For, my dreams. For, the love I want to have in my life. For, my peace of mind.
Note: I have come to the place, finally, where I am okay, with not knowing. Okay, with not having the right answers. Okay, with not having any answers. And, that makes me okay. All you can do is ALL you can do. Love as much as you can, as many as you can, for as long as you can. We only get this one go around. While you are ‘getting it’ be sure to get on with it. Love someone. Starting with you. You got this as do I.
I no longer wonder if Life will open It’s door for me if I only keep knocking.
I KNOW It will.
I no longer wonder if I can do it.
I KNOW I can.
I no longer wonder if I can make my dreams come true.
I KNOW I will.
I no longer wonder if I will be loved by man.
I KNOW my fam loves me.
I KNOW God loves me.
I KNOW I love me.
I KNOW Jesus loves me.
I KNOW my wombie loves me.
I KNOW my siblings love me.
I KNOW my podmate loves me.
I KNOW my accountability partners love me.
I no longer wonder if my worth is tied up in my efforts.
I KNOW it is not.
I no longer wonder if I will be loved even when I fail.
I KNOW I will be loved even when I fail.
I no longer wonder if God will love me even when I fall.
I KNOW God will and does love me ESPECIALLY when I fall.
I no longer wonder if I will be received.
I KNOW God and Life receives me as does those who truly care about my life.
I no longer wonder why.
I no longer wonder if I will fail.
I KNOW I will fail. Yet, I will rise, again.
I no longer wonder why.
I KNOW life happens to all and that I WILL be alright.
I no longer wonder if there is a significant other out there for me.
I KNOW the life I live, right NOW, is already significant. If God and Life adds someone significant, wonderful. If not, I am truly enjoying my relationship with Jesus, sitting in The Father’s Lap, enjoying long yaks with my wombie, with my big bros, with my big sis, texting with my work children, exploring all that makes me me and a million other people, places and things that makes my life, well, significant.
Dare I speak of the utter Kuerig tragedy and share the past days anxt of NO coffee!…*gasp*.
No, I dare not speak of these horrors. Nope, won’t go there about the many tantrums I have thrown. I will NOT admit to trying to use a paper towel as a filter and put too little coffee grounds in too much water therefore grounding my old school way of having to actually make a dumb cup of coffee using old school coffee grounds and a stupid paper towel for a stupid dumb filter I have a million of and can’t remember where I put the dumb things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew.
There is ZERO chance I will admit that I finally cried uncle and put in an emergency coffee order. I ordered, or so I thought, I jar of Folgers Instant. First thing on the list, or so I thought. Humming through my day, knowing my coffee-less life would have coffee, come 3 pm delivery time, I sang and danced my way through the work day.
Fast forward to lunch, yippppeeeeeeeeeeeeee, delivery time. Singing tralalala gaily through the living room, I flounced and bounced my way to the kitchen. Dramatically, I gleefully refilled half empty sugar and creamer cannisters. Heckamiah Jeremiah I even brought out my clear saucer and fave coffee mug so I could enjoy my coffee. Finally!!
3 pm found an expected knock at the door. Flinging other groceries this way and that I dug my way through my goodie bags ready to pounce on the goodness of my Folgers Instant….hhmm.
*Wails of agony wended themselves towards heaven as Cassandra realized everything came but the cofffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!
Okay, so now I have to tell on myself, beloveds. Don’t tell okay? I don’t want to tarnish my fabulous image…lol.
It had been on me to switch to decaf for a bit. I kept telling God, Life, me and all who would listen I would switch, soon. Apparently, my soon was not soon enough. Rather, not soon enough for Life. One broken Kuerig, one grocery order arriving sans Folgers Instant, one quiet sentence from big sis of ‘maybe you are not supposed to be drinking regular coffee right now’ and one ‘uncle’ from me got me stomping into the kitchen to brew a half pot of DECAF!…*horrified gasp*.
Yet, Life allowed the dumb coffee filters to come but not the Folgers Instant. I was not going to get a Can of Folgers as was going to get another Kuerig so no need wasting money when I now have a million useless kpods…smh.
Moral of the story?
Listen to the still small voice and don’t be hardheaded so Life has to snatch the life from your Kuerig…*pout*.
listening finally,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart. Don’t be afraid to try those dreams that have been scaring you half to death. Don’t be afraid of your age. If young, your age is the best weapon you have. If older, your age is the best weapon you have! You got this. Life is short. Say. Live. Love.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 