Years ago, I had a Social Worker friend teach me one of the most important lessons I have ever heard or learned.
Turns out, I am learning that particular lesson, still.
STILL!
She had gotten all up in my face about me forever working myself to death. Ran all up my hind end regarding me forever and a day placing myself on the ground and presenting myself as the roadway and thus roadkill for any and all to help themselves to/with.
*sigh*.
After a while, I got mad. And, I mean steaming mad.
Outraged, I kicked, screamed and ballyhooed.
“Good”.
That’s what she said to me.
“It’s about time you got mad. Maybe now you will start taking care of you.”
She proceeded to read me the riot act. I proceeded to get some act right.
Today, my old boss ‘made me mad’. Course, this is what I told myself. He had just been doing his job. Reminding me to hurry on up and do my job.
Will be real…*sigh*….smh.
I almost…smh.
Like a dummy, I almost let myself get ‘mad’ enough to stomp out of work two hours early.
My head got to shaking ‘hecks no you going to stay up in here!’
My fingers got to wagging all up in my face that I was fixing to finish the work day and stop all this acting a fool else would be doing bathroom duty come midnight!
My foot kicked me dead up in my rear end as a painful reminder to stop all that foolishness and do what needed to be done and get out the feelings I had no business being all up in.
This reminded me of that decades old advice. Hence, the birth of this piece.
We are so quick to get mad at God, at Life, at this, at that, at our fam, at our friends, at our lack of having said fam and friends. Yep, we get all mad and fired up at circumstances, at situations at….good egads we have the NERVE to get up in everyone’s faces except our own.
It’s not always easy, eh, to get up in one’s own face. If so, we find it is us who have been holding us back most of this whole time in some way form or fashion.
So, I got me some act right, right quick, and dashed in here to save you from having to do your own midnight chores.
Keeping our act right acting right IS a chore. A necessary one. Saves our hind end from taking a good boot to the rear.
HHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!
I laugh now.
I want to cry at all the missed opportunity and adventures I missed out on being mad at everyone but me. Now, I don’t waste much time getting on myself. Now, when I find out better, I try and do better. I don’t always get it but get right as soon as I see I have been a dumbsky or have done a super dumb thing.
Cuz she did like I told her and not worried about a situation and got on being about her life.
The prob?
Well, I was the dummy who got to worrying about HER and forgot to be about being about my life.
Sooooooooooooooooo, when she called to check on me to see if I had been being about it….
I proceeded, yall, to huff and puff and blow my own dumb house down.
Slunk off.
Mad.
Fumed.
Fussed.
Got tired of fuming.
Got tired of fussing.
Mad enough I decided to punish the wide world and did not post as I normally would have.
Dummy me.
Got up.
Got in shower.
Got some act right.
Got to posting.
Normally, I text wombie my pieces so she does not have to go to the site and read.
Started out, being honest yall, and was petty and wrote and initially did not text her. Told myself she can go to the site and read….dammit….*pout*.
Took brows raising at me and fingers wagging at me and head shaking at me and foot tapping at me to help me get some act right as I have ZERO plans to be doing chores at midnight.
*Cassandra grudgingly sent posts to wombie*….*pout*.
So, telling on myself and reminding all to keep some act right and keep doing what is right. We can’t expect folks to be everywhere and at all times. We can’t expect folks to check back in and let us know how they are doing. Folks living their lives.
Except, on the days where I no longer love my job.
On THOSE days, don’t ask me why…
On THOSE days, EVERYTHING tends to get on my last nerves.
NO rhyme.
No good reason.
Just wake up and don’t FEEL LIKE doing a blasted thing other than to go back to bed.
Life is like that. Just has the nasty habit of showing up, EVERY DAY!!
You would think we would be able to press pause on life and take a break every once in a while.
Exhausting!
Whew.
Yet, even on those I can not stand work days, I find myself enjoying it, anywho. By the end of the day, I am having a hoot and had forgotten to be sad and that I absolutely no longer loved my job.
Keep loving.
No matter what.
No matter how.
No matter who.
We all get on each other’s nerves. At times, for good reason. Other times, for no reason at all.
I have NO idea, beloveds, why us somewhat not smart humans are forever wasting our time on things, on folks, on situations not worthy of US, let alone worthy of our time.
Why you having such a fit because of not knowing the answers?
If your family has you.
They do.
Why are you telling yourself you are alone?
If Jesus got you.
He does.
Why are you feeling so friendless?
If you have got you best you can.
You do.
Why are you giving you such a hard time here lately?
Beats me.
How about cutting you some slack?
I will.
*Cassandra shakes her head at her self in the mirror, yet again, and snatches up the vaccuum. No midnight chores tonight. She has learned the hard way to get act right as quickly as humanly possible once age and longing and doubt get to acting a fool*…
keeping it real,
Cassandra
Yall, do NOT allow circumstances, situations, or any other thing to get to lying to you. You KNOW where your help lies. You KNOW who and whose you are. Keep fighting. Keep going. Keep growing. These trials, which are for but a moment, ARE working in and for you. You got this.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 