REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.

👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢

Beloveds,

Real talk.

Despise not small beginnings.

“For who hath despised the day of small things?”
— Zechariah 4:10 KJV

I want to talk about your hard.

Not motivational-poster hard.

Not the kind somebody can wrap up in three sentences and put underneath a pretty picture of a sunrise.

I mean HARD hard.

The thing you wish had never happened.

The thing you didn’t choose.

The thing that changed your plans.

Your family.

Your finances.

Your relationships.

Your body.

Your work.

Your home.

Your confidence.

Your expectations.

Maybe your understanding of who you were going to be.

The hard that makes something which used to require almost no thought suddenly require strategy.

🦺

This morning, mine looked like a kimono.

👘

That’s where this started.

Getting dressed.

Something ordinary.

Except ordinary things aren’t always ordinary anymore.

I had to figure it out.

Which hand?

Which direction?

How do I pull this?

What can I brace against?

What happens if I approach it from another angle?

Try.

Adjust.

Try again.

And somewhere in all that work, I realized:

I couldn’t have done this hard right-handed.

Ironically.

🤯

The hand I once depended upon automatically might actually have made what I was doing harder.

Life changed the assignment.

So somewhere along the way, without a ceremony announcing it, I had learned another way.

And I almost missed it.

Because that’s what we do sometimes.

We compare today’s small accomplishment with yesterday’s normal.

And then we say:

“I only…”

👀

I only got dressed.

I only made one phone call.

I only filled out one application.

I only walked that far.

I only cleaned one room.

I only wrote one paragraph.

I only saved a few dollars.

I only made it through today.

I only asked for help.

I only prayed a few words.

I only.

Two tiny words can take something that actually happened and immediately prosecute it for everything that didn’t.

🔎

Maybe “I only” is one of the languages of despising small things.

Because:

“I did this.”

becomes:

“I only did this.”

And suddenly the thing that required something from you doesn’t count because it wasn’t bigger.

Beloveds,

stop cross-examining your progress.

😭

Why did it take so long?

Why couldn’t I do more?

Why can somebody else do this easily?

Why am I still here?

Shouldn’t I be farther by now?

Does this even count?

Yes.

It counts.

Not because we’re going to exaggerate it.

Small is still small.

An inch is not secretly a mile.

But an inch forward isn’t standing still either.

Small describes size.

It does not determine value.

A seed is small.

A key is small.

A stitch is small.

A spark is small.

A signature may be only a few inches of ink.

A whispered “yes” can change a life.

A whispered “no” can save one.

Small has never meant powerless.

🕯️

And small beginnings aren’t always cute.

Sometimes they’re downright offensive when you remember having more.

Starting from zero is one thing.

Beginning again while remembering one hundred is another.

Ten steps can mean something very different when your body remembers running.

One paid bill can feel painfully small when you remember financial security.

One quiet evening alone can hurt when you remember a full house.

One sentence can feel tiny when words once came effortlessly.

Sometimes the small beginning hurts precisely because you remember the building that used to stand there.

🦺

That’s the world of Zechariah.

Rebuilding.

Construction.

Foundations.

Something isn’t finished yet.

And construction sites aren’t particularly inspirational-looking.

🤣

Dust.

Exposed wires.

Tools everywhere.

Things pulled apart.

Things that worked yesterday temporarily don’t work today.

Sometimes the place looks worse because work has begun.

Someone unfamiliar with construction might walk in and say:

“Look at this mess.”

The builder may look at the same room and say:

“Look at what we’re building.”

Both people are looking at the same unfinished place.

🔎

So maybe the question isn’t:

“How do I make my hard look beautiful?”

Maybe it’s:

“Since I am here, what can I build from here?”

😭🦺🥾

Notice what I did NOT say.

I didn’t say the terrible thing had to happen.

I didn’t say everything happens for a reason.

I didn’t say you should be grateful for devastation.

I didn’t say suffering automatically makes people stronger.

Some things hurt.

Some things are unfair.

Some losses remain losses.

Some things happened that should not have happened.

You are allowed to say:

I wish this had never happened.

AND—

Since I am here, what can I build from here?

Those truths don’t have to fight each other.

You can grieve the old building while laying bricks for something new.

🧱😭

Rebuilding does not require disrespecting what was lost.

And faith doesn’t require lying.

Sometimes people tell us to “look on the bright side.”

I want to offer something sturdier:

Look accurately.

🔎

What hurts?

What was lost?

What remains?

What can I change?

What can’t I change today?

What requires action?

What requires patience?

What requires grief?

What requires rest?

What requires another person’s hands?

What requires professional help?

What am I trying to solve today that doesn’t actually belong to today?

And:

What is my next faithful move?

🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡

Not everybody’s move looks alike.

We’ve been saying:

One step. One step. One step.

But everybody doesn’t step the same way.

Somebody’s step is walking.

Somebody’s is rolling.

Somebody’s is reaching.

Somebody’s is speaking.

Somebody’s is listening.

Somebody’s is making the appointment.

Somebody’s is keeping the appointment.

Somebody’s is taking the medication.

Somebody’s is setting the boundary.

Somebody’s is leaving.

Somebody’s is staying.

Somebody’s is asking for help.

Somebody’s is finally accepting help.

Somebody’s is opening the curtains.

Somebody’s is turning the phone on.

Somebody else’s is turning the phone OFF.

Somebody’s is trying again.

And somebody’s beginning today may simply be:

surviving long enough to begin later.

😭

Movement is larger than walking.

And everybody’s one step does not wear the same shoe.

🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡

Please don’t let somebody who has never worn your shoes convince you that your step doesn’t count.

They don’t know what those shoes weigh.

They don’t know what it took for you to get here.

And if you aren’t standing at all?

They still don’t know what it took for you to get HERE.

🫵🏾

But we need to go deeper than movement.

Because even “take one step” can become cruel if we’re careless.

What about the day you cannot?

What about the setback?

The relapse?

The rejection?

The grief anniversary?

The day you tried and failed?

The day you called and received bad news?

The day you asked for help and nobody came?

The day the candle went out?

🕯️

Does your life still matter then?

YES.

📢

Please hear me.

YOUR LIFE DOES NOT BEGIN MATTERING WHEN YOU BEGIN MOVING.

😭😭😭

Before the comeback.

Before the breakthrough.

Before the progress anybody can measure.

Before you make meaning from what happened.

Before you figure out what comes next.

Before the testimony.

Before you put on the kimono.

👘

Your life matters while the kimono is still lying on the bed and you don’t have enough in you to put it on.

Your value is not compensation for productivity.

You don’t have to earn your humanity by overcoming something.

You don’t owe anybody a heroic story.

You don’t have to turn tragedy into inspiration.

You don’t have to discover the purpose of your pain by Friday.

🤣😭

Sometimes being here is enough for today.

And some hard requires something else entirely:

HELP.

⛑️⛑️⛑️

Some hard isn’t yours to overcome by yourself.

Some hard needs treatment.

Some hard needs to be escaped.

Some hard needs to be reported.

Some hard needs to be grieved.

Some hard needs to be shared.

Some hard needs rest.

Some hard needs expertise.

Some hard needs somebody trained for exactly the place where you find yourself.

A doctor.

A therapist.

A social worker.

An attorney.

A financial counselor.

A teacher.

A pastor.

A support group.

A friend.

A neighbor.

A whole team.

⛑️

Sometimes the next step when you’re drowning isn’t:

“Swim harder.”

Sometimes it is:

CALL SOMEBODY WITH A ROPE.

📢

Small beginnings do not mean small help.

You may take one tiny step while receiving enormous support.

There is no shame in that equation.

Human beings were never meant to do every hard thing alone.

Sometimes somebody else holds the flashlight while you work.

🕯️

Somebody carries the toolbox.

🦺

Somebody knows the terrain.

🥾

Somebody calls for help.

⛑️

Somebody makes the first mark.

🖋️

Tomorrow the roles may reverse.

That’s not failure.

That’s community.

🌎

And sometimes you don’t have enough light to see what happens next.

🔌

The power is out.

You wanted daylight.

You wanted answers.

You wanted the whole plan.

You wanted to know how this ends.

Instead, you have this little flicker.

🕯️

Beloveds:

A candle is not a failed sun.

😭

Stop requiring one tiny candle to illuminate your entire future.

Bring it close.

What can you see from here?

Maybe enough for one decision.

One conversation.

One boundary.

One meal.

One application.

One appointment.

One prayer.

One hour.

One breath.

One step.

Use the light you have without lying about the darkness.

🕯️

Faith is not denial.

Hope is not dishonesty.

Gratitude is not amnesia.

Acceptance is not approval.

Rest is not quitting.

Help is not weakness.

And a setback does not necessarily erase everything that came before it.

Maybe you don’t have electricity today.

🔌

Okay.

Find the candle.

🕯️

Can’t see the whole room?

Don’t pretend you can.

See enough for here.

🔎

And don’t despise the flicker because you asked God for the sun.

😭☀️

Then maybe tomorrow there is another little bit of light.

Another step.

Another brick.

Another mark.

🖋️

And that brings me to beginnings themselves.

We say “starting over” as though everything before this moment vanished.

But beginning again does not mean your first beginning meant nothing.

You aren’t necessarily standing here empty-handed.

You may carry knowledge.

Experience.

Memory.

Discernment.

Skills.

Scars.

Boundaries.

Love.

Questions.

Faith.

Fear.

Maybe wisdom you wish had cost less.

😭

A new beginning does not require you to erase the old story.

The old pages remain.

You cannot crawl backward into yesterday and change the ink that’s already dry.

But there may still be blank space.

🖋️

Not an entirely blank life.

Just some space.

One line.

One choice.

One response.

One morning.

One breath.

Maybe a small beginning is simply:

the first mark you are able to make in a space life left blank.

🖋️

And sometimes life isn’t even that linear.

That’s where the paintbrush comes in.

🖌️

Healing isn’t arithmetic.

Pain + effort + faith does not always equal the neat outcome we expected.

Sometimes healing looks more like art.

You paint.

You stop.

You scrape something away.

You discover a color doesn’t work.

You make a mark you didn’t intend.

You step away because you’re too close to see what you’re making.

You come back.

You leave one corner unfinished.

You discover that something you thought was ruined belongs in the picture after all.

🖌️

You can be creating while grieving.

Building while resting.

Believing while questioning.

Laughing while hurting.

Grateful and angry.

Hopeful and tired.

Human beings can hold more than one truth at once.

And maybe maturity isn’t forcing one truth to murder the other.

👀

Maybe today I am struggling.

AND

I am still here.

Maybe I miss what was.

AND

I am learning what is.

Maybe this is unfair.

AND

I still have choices within it.

Maybe I need help.

AND

receiving help doesn’t make me less.

Maybe I’m not where I want to be.

AND

I don’t have to despise where I am.

😭

Which brings us back to that dangerous little word:

only.

Maybe today you only—

No.

Scratch that.

🖋️

Maybe today you did.

Period.

You got dressed.

You called.

You rested.

You cried.

You prayed.

You tried.

You stopped.

You asked.

You received.

You survived.

You began.

Or maybe you didn’t begin today at all.

And your life still matters.

📢❤️‍🔥

Because a beginning doesn’t create your worth.

Your worth is what makes the beginning worth protecting.

😭😭😭

So what is the opposite of despising a small beginning?

It isn’t necessarily throwing it a party.

Sometimes you won’t feel like celebrating.

Sometimes the beginning hurts too much for that.

Sometimes you simply:

honor it enough to continue.

🧱

You don’t have to throw the brick a parade.

Lay the next brick when you can.

And when you can’t?

Rest beside the wall.

Receive help.

Let somebody hold the light.

⛑️🕯️

The unfinished building does not get to vote on whether the builder has value.

And neither does your unfinished life.

😭

So yes.

This morning mine happened to begin with a kimono.

👘

Something small.

Something ordinary.

Something nobody passing by would have known required work.

They would have seen clothes.

I knew the work.

🦺

And that’s why I am telling you:

Stop requiring other people to understand how hard your small thing was before you allow yourself to honor it.

They weren’t there.

You were.

God was.

🙏🏿

Small does not mean meaningless.

A candle is not a failed sun.

Use the light you have without lying about the darkness.

Movement is larger than walking.

Everybody’s one step does not wear the same shoe.

Small beginnings do not mean small help.

Your life does not begin mattering when you begin moving.

And Beloveds—

don’t despise your beginning because it doesn’t look impressive enough to somebody standing outside your hard.

🔎🕯️

Look accurately.

Ask for help when you need it.

⛑️

Pick up the tool you can hold.

🦺

Wear whatever shoe fits your journey.

🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡

Make the mark you can make.

🖋️

Paint what you can paint.

🖌️

Use the light you have.

🕯️

And if all you can do today is remain here until another beginning becomes possible—

Beloved, remain.

❤️‍🔥

Your beginning does not have to impress us.

Your hard does not have to become inspirational for us.

And your life does not have to become easier before it becomes precious.

📢

DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.

👘🦺🥾🕯️⛑️🖋️

Asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

One step. One step. One step.

And remember:

Sometimes the step is resting long enough to take another.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!