The diamond in my shoe: Part II.

Today was harder, than yesterday.

And, the day before.

I have found several diamonds, in my shoe.

They have formed from stumbling over grief and frustrations, these last days.

I REFUSE, to hurt me, because my heart is broken, from missing mom. I loved her. I love her, still. In this, my new normal.

I REFUSE, to hide or ghost, my grief. Grief, is a natural part of life. Losing love, hurts. Sooooooooo much. It’s okay, to hurt. Yet, we learn to love, in a different way.

I REFUSE, to grieve alone. I used to think MY grief was just ‘too heavy’ for others. Translation, real talk, I did not have enough value, for ME, thinking I was not ‘enough’ to love or have folk go out of their way, for ME.

It’s not that I didn’t love me. I did. I just got so used to the voices of OTHERS, who thought me loud or ugly or this or that.

I now realize it was THEIR ugliness, they were looking at. My goofheadness, my willingness to sing out loud badly, my joy in living unapologetically ME, makes folk realize they are stuck behind walls. Which, makes them strike out at me and call me loud or ugly.

I REFUSE, to look at myself in any other way then the wonderfully odd, loving, foolish, serious, caring about the world person called me.

I REFUSE, to give up hope and laughter and love because grief has come, for me.

I shall sit with her, grief. For, a time. Then, I shall send grief, on her way.

I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to turn my back, on love, because I have experienced loss, from losing loved ones.

Doing these, and many things, have formed many a diamond, in my shoe.

Soon, I shall have enough diamonds, to make a crown.

I shall wear my crown for mom, tomorrow, on her birthday.

making diamonds in my shoe,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: To all who have lost:

Be encouraged.

Sit with grief, for a time. Process. Be okay with not being okay until you are, okay.

Laugh.

Love.

Squeeze out some joy.

Above all, LIVE.

I love you❤

One step.

One step.

One step.

• COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️‍🩹
• BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
• Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
• Still In Love
• REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢